Blushing till two a.m.

The first boy I ever had a crush on was my senior back in secondary school.

When I was in SS2 and he was in SS3, he kissed me and at the time, it was one of the best things to have ever happened to me.

He had finally noticed me despite my low-cut hair and ill-fitting skirt.

We talked whenever we had free periods and it was wonderful.

Then, it all went downhill when he asked if my best girlfriend, Cassandra was dating anyone. The scales of infatuation in my eyes blinded me from reason and made me conclude that he was asking on behalf of another senior.

Afterward, they started dating.

That was the first time I truly understood the meaning of betrayal. The girl I called my best friend punctured a hole in my heart and the boy I crushed so hard on, shattered it into a million pieces.

That was the first time I was served "breakfast" and I had sworn that it would be the last time.

.

.

"Hi, what's up?" A smile bloomed on my face as I read the message and the Facebook ID that sent it. "Tobi Odukoya." I rolled the name in my mouth, testing every vowel and consonant, merging it with my name, and loving the feel of it.

"Hey. I just got back home. Escorted Mariam to my bus stop. How are you doing?" My fingers tapped hurriedly on my keyboard as I composed the message and sent it off.

Not more than a minute later, his reply came in.

"I'm fine. I know we didn't get to interact properly last week so I figured we could start now."

We exchanged text after text, hungry to discover more about each other.

He told me that his father and elder brother were away in Luxembourg and he lived with his mother and two sisters.

The responsibility of taking care of the household as the "man of the house" fell on him.

He had graduated in July as well but didn't sit for the Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination to gain admission into university because his father was making plans for him to study in Luxembourg in the new year.

"Wouldn't it be better to study in Nigeria first and then pursue a post-graduate degree abroad?" I suggested.

That was what I had in mind for my education too. Studying medicine and surgery in Nigeria and pursuing a Master's degree in Canada or India to build up my CV.

"That crossed my mind o but I want to leave this country.

I'm already tired. I want to study Computer programming and this country's job market is nothing to write home about. I don't plan on suffering, to be honest," He replied.

"But if everyone has this mindset and leaves the country like this, who will remain? The brain drain would be too much,"

"That is the problem of the country and not mine. I'm looking out for myself since this country has no plans for the youths."

What he said was reasonable though.

At least, he had the opportunity to leave with ease as his father and brother are already there.

On one hand, I felt a sense of sadness that he would leave before our relationship could improve more, and on the other hand, I was truly happy for him.

It's not everyone that gets such a favorable circumstance handed to them.

I had to pause our conversation and drag myself reluctantly to the kitchen to help my mom with dinner preparations.

I did everything as quickly as possible so that I could go back to my phone.

Picking up where we left off, the conversation flowed smoothly.

I told him how religious my family was but how there were times exposure to social media and research made me question the existence of God.

I felt a sense of peace sharing all this with him and his fast and thoughtful replies encouraged me to open up more. He too was from a religious family; going to church every Sunday, fellowship on Saturdays, and choir practice every other day.

Despite this, there were times he also had doubts but his spirituality was firm and he had pushed those doubts away.

His words had so much devotion and passion in them that it made me want to forget I ever doubted or feared that God didn't exist after all.

It amazed me that mere hours ago, we knew little of each other but at that moment, I wanted to confide in him.

I wanted to know everything about him. What he wanted from life, his ambitions, the little things that make him smile, what he enjoys doing.

It was frightening as well, talking to someone I just met days ago, already developing absolute trust in him which I had never done before.

I never trusted anyone; not my mother nor my father, not even my closest friends. But with him, there was this shared intimacy, this aura I could perceive from the messages we exchanged, that made me feel comfortable with him.

We chatted through the night. Our similarities made the bond that was forming even stronger: our birthdays were five days apart, we both loved chocolate ice cream and hated vanilla ice cream and yogurt, we enjoyed reading and discovering new information and we liked staying indoors most of the time but would jump at the opportunity to go somewhere fun and impactful.

We teased each other about our tribes and the differences between them.

And then he called me beautiful again. I wasn't used to receiving compliments often so I didn't know the best way to respond.

"I know." I texted back with a smirk emoji.

"Is that how they taught you to respond to compliments? Igbo girls are something else,"

"What does my being Igbo have to do with the way I take compliments?"

I couldn't stop myself from giggling.

I added multiple laughing emojis before removing some and wondering when I started using so many emojis.

"That's how you Igbo girls behave. Always hard. It's good you know you're beautiful though. It means you have self-confidence. Many people have no self-esteem at all. They fail to see how wonderfully made they are."

I agreed with him even though I knew that my self-confidence was a 45 out of a 100. I wanted to seem like a badass to him and not someone that was weak and needed reassurance all the time.

It was two a.m and I didn't feel like ending the conversation at all but I was already feeling drowsy. I started to type goodnight when he dropped a message that made my heart skip a beat.

"Chatting with you was the best part of my night. I don't want us to ever run out of things to say to each other.

"When would you be free? I would love to meet up with you and maybe grab some ice cream?"

I almost did a happy dance but I managed to keep my body on my bed with great difficulty.

I quickly replied that I'd have to ask my parents for permission and let him know. He sent a happy dance emoji and wished me a wonderful night.

For the first time in a long while, I slept with a smile on my face.