She is not Here

"Time doesn't cure everything." Natalie told the bartender and drank what was left of the clear liquid in her glass. "Time doesn't cure anything..."

"Calm down, Natalie, it's only been six months..."

"I don't want to hear this from someone who left me…" Natalie growled into the empty seat to her left and looked at the man in front of her. "Other!"

"Eer... Natalie, I think you better go home..." Said the man, worried for the girl's safety.

Natalie was young and pretty, and despite having a somewhat childlike body for her age, she was attractive and if not for her current state, she would be surrounded by women wanting her attention. Yet there she was, falling drunk as she talked to herself at the bar counter.

"Take care of your....life!" Natalie said and shook her red curls ferociously, trying to stay awake.

"You should take care of yours too."

"Just like you?" Natalie asked the woman to her right that got scared and walked away from the counter. "You should have taken more care of yours..."

Suddenly, from a door behind the counter, a beautiful woman with long blond hair appeared with a frown on her beautiful face.

"Again, Natalie?"

"Samy!" Natalie smiled.

The woman snorted and looked at the man. "She's already in how many?"

"The one in her hand is the eighth..." Said the man apprehensively.

"What did you serve her?"

"The usual..."

Samantha sighed and looked at Natalie with a pitying look. "Natie, I honestly don't know what you're going through, but she would hate to see you like this."

"She's right..."

Natalie looked to the side, her head lying on her arms, and smiled a smile that made Samantha's heart break into shards.

Samantha knew that look, it was the same look she had for Angela. A passionate look, full of tenderness and love that was hard to find even in the most united couples. And with that kind, lonely, sad smile, Natalie slept right there on the bar counter with a half-empty glass of gin.

The bar owner wiped the tears that were starting to form in her eyes with her fingertips and took a long breath. "Help me get her to my bed."

"Yes ma'am."

Until recently, love was a feeling that only brought Natalie happiness, but now it was every day a new knife in her chest, making her bleed, suffer and feel afraid.

With so much pain always being pressed against her chest, Natalie sank into the alcohol. More precisely, she immersed herself in the memories that Angela's favorite drink brought her.

"What am I going to do with you?" Samantha asked the sleeping Natalie and then left the room.

"Angie..."

***

It was winter and it had snowed all night, painting the world white. Angela looked out the window and as a smile spread across her lips, she ran through the house screaming

"Natie! Natie! Love!"

Natalie was still lying down, sleeping a deep, deep sleep. She had spent half the night working on her architectural project which, as usual, was late. But bedtime ended the moment Angela started jumping on the bed to wake her up.

"Only five more... No, ten... ten minutes..." Natalie yawned.

"No! Wake up! It's snowing!" Angela insisted, but Natalie showed no signs of getting up. "If you don't get up now..."

Angela reached under the comforter and pulled the shirt Natalie was wearing, exposing her back.

"Angie, what are you- Aah!"

Suddenly, at the touch of Angela's lips, Natalie felt a shiver and moaned excitedly.

No matter how tired Natalie was, if Angela touched the middle of her back like it was a button that turned on her sex mode, she was willing to get laid.

Natalie rolled over and pulled Angela on top of her, so the two of them made love all morning and fter that, they played in the snow all afternoon.

Angela loved snow and even though she couldn't handle the cold, Natalie always joined her when it snowed.

When it snowed, it was the time Natalie could see the childlike side of Angela, which was the cutest thing in the world for the redhead.

Angela ran to and fro, throwing snowballs at Natalie as she made her hair a yellow ninja mask, and Natalie, in turn, used sticks and branches as a weapon.

Those moments, the moments that Angela was silly, the moments that Angela was sad, the moments that Angela was happy, those moments were all Natalie's, who loved them all as they were moments she shared with Angela.

Later that day, they bathed together and drank wine, although Angela didn't like it very much. They chatted without paying attention to the half of the horror movie Angela had chosen and the other half, they were busy with each other's tongues to care who was being killed by the monster in the movie.

"What are you thinking?" Angela asked as she ran her fingers between Natalie's bare breasts.

"…How happy I am that you exist and is with me..." Natalie replied and kissed Angela's arm.

"...."

Feeling uncomfortable with Angela's silence, Natalie frowned and still smiling, she stood up and looked back as she said. "Says something- Huh?" There was no one there to answer it. "Angie?"

Natalie was alone and the house full of couple photos, paintings and sculptures that Angela had painted and carved, and Angela's plants, was now a mess.

There were empty bottles in the corners and on the table, open boxes filled with pictures and picture frames, dead plants and broken sculptures.

Natalie was no longer naked and sitting on the couch after making love to Angela. She was now wearing a black sweater, a jeans that urgently needed washing and a scarf.

"Angie! Natalie called. "Where are you?" But the house was empty except for herself.

Feeling the fear take over, Natalie ran upstairs to the second floor of the house she'd bought with Angela and screamed Angela's name until she tripped and fell on the bed and woke up.

***

"Good Morning." Samantha said when she saw Natalie leave her room.

"...."

Natalie walked across the room in silence and sank down onto the couch. She was feeling her head pound and her eyes hurt. As she slept, Natalie called out to Angela several times and even cried, leaving her eyes swollen and sensitive.

Samantha heard Natalie's requests for Angela to stay, but she said nothing, because she understood the feeling of losing someone, after all, she also lost.

"Natie, I need you to stop killing yourself little by little." Natalie hugged her knees and lay down on Samantha's living room sofa. "Natie, I need you to forget about me."

"It's…impossible…" Natalie whispered in a tearful voice. "It's impossible to forget you..."

It had been six months since the accident that killed Angela and since then Natalie had been listening to her lover's voice, answering most of the time, even though she knew it was just a hallucination.

Samantha, who knew of Natalie's mental state, didn't say anything at those moments or just ignored the girl's loose sentences during their conversations. But the truth was, she also wished she could hear her little sister's voice if only one more time.

Hearing Natalie talk to herself, Samantha held back her tears and left the room as tears forced their way.

"I love you so much…" Natalie said and buried her face in her knees. "Why did you leave me?"

"I did not want it to be like this."

"I know..."

"I love you too."

"I know..."

"Come Home."

"Mm..."

"Thank you for love me."

"I will always love you..."

Natalie got up in silence and left without saying a word to Samantha, and after driving for a few minutes, Natalie was in front of her house.

The house looked abandoned, the lawn was high and there was mountains of leaves under the chestnut tree Angela had planted.

Natalie stayed in the car for some time and then she took a deep breath as she got out, her scent was still present there.

Feeling the sadness and panic return, Natalie bit her bottom lip and walked to the front door as she felt the air getting thin. She stunned a little and held on to the wooden fence, but then she composed herself and took it one step at a time until she got the key in the lock.

Natalie took a deep breath and turned the key, going through the whole following process of opening the door and tears flowing.

Welcome back.