Chapter 41 - Ara's PoV

Ara

It was a week now since we already arrived in Thailand. I fixed things with my family and I know they needed time for everything and to move on so I let them for now.

It's been a year now since that happened, Lauren's begging voice was still lingering in my mind lately. I'm not craving for her, I'm not wanting it to do again but regret was already killing and so is guilt. I feel bad for myself and I feel disgusted I don't even know why I did that. I didn't remember why I decided to have that kind of dirty plan but as far as I remember I like Lauren at that time and I didn't have the chance to stop my feelings for her.

When I was in Jail, I instantly feel bad for myself not just myself but also because of my family, my kids, and Jieun. I remembered when Jieun got pregnant with Lester I promised them that I will never leave them and they will be the only people in my life and my heart and nothing's gonna change that.

But I fail, I certainly failed and I almost lose them for it. Jieun didn't visit me for almost a month and I understood her but Yujin and Megan were always there to make a conversation and I'm thankful that they are coming to ask if I'm doing okay and if I'm eating fine.

Jihye didn't visit me but she's always delivering some foodby her guards. I was asking them sometimes if she was doing okay and they are telling me that she wasas busy taking care of her wife and looking out for her.

It's been a long time since I realized that I wanted to fix myself and fix my relationship with my family. When I got out ofail I instantly heard the news about what happened to Lauren and it made me sad. I wanted to visit her but I need to stop myself because her family might attack me. I didn't have the time to apologize to them because I'm scared and I still can't face them. So, I decided just to fix my relationship first with my wife and my kids.

The moment when I knew that Jieun was having twins that when I broke, I wasn't there when she was giving birth. I wasn't there when she was asking for me and begging for me to help her to get the baby out but thank you for the Jeunes and my friends they were there for her.

It's been hard trying to fix out things with Jieun. We almost had a divorce but I begged her to give me another chance to change, to prove to her that I changed and I still love her...I'm still in love with her. Megan and Yujin also talked to her to give me a chance and she gave up because Lester was already wanting to be with me and after all, I'm still the father of our child.

Here I am, trying my best to fix everything. When I was in Korea every time I see Lauren's building I still remember the old days and the way Jihye got so overprotective towards her and that's a nightmare for me. I wanted to change in my country, the country where I grew up and the country where I learned good deeds because of my parents.

Everything will take time and I need to be patient and I always will be now that my family is here with me. I was looking at Jieun who was reading some papers and I just got home from work. It was seven in the evening and I decided to make some dinner. She has been working nonstop in thIorried about her health.

Lester decided to help me, he's already three and we're close. The twins are in their crib together watching some cartoons. I decided to make her comfort food which is a creamy mushroom soup and chicken wings. I'm always cooking this for her whenever she's stressestresfrom from sed a fromomnfrom and eat some random things.

Lester and I took some time. It wasn't that hard since I still remember how to cook it, I still remember the procedures and the way how to make everything right. I served some from Lester on the table and I saw the twins is in a deep sleep on their crib so I smiled and took the iPad out from the crib and put it aside. Covering them with a blanket and kissing their heads.

I took the tray and slowly went to Jieun who was typing some things on the laptop.

"Here" I served her the creamy mushroom soup and chicken. And I also made her a strawberry latte.

She looked at it and I'm nervous about how will she react, I tried my t to gain her trust back and I'm being patient with her. Whenever I serve her some food she will just move it away and I'm always in pain. I deserve it and I need to get used to it sometimes.

She was still looking at it and I'm fiddling with my fingers nervous about how would she react again but to my surprise...

"Thank you" she whispered and smiled at me. Is this even real? Is this progress? She smiled at me and she thanked me. This is progress, right?

"Y-you're W-welcome," I said lowly while I took the tray and was about to leave when Jieun spoke again

"Ara?" She said shuttering, I looked at her again and she has soft eyes. I could tell that she wanted something from me "Can you serve another mushroom soup and chicken so we can eat together?" She asked in a sincere tone while my heart is already beating faster.  I smiled and I nodded excitedly, I walked back into the kitchen with a smile on my face and tried my best not to spill some mushroom soup because I was excited.

I came back and I saw her closing her laptop and cleaning the scattered paper that she was reading I believe it was all the reports and the letters that she needed to sign and follow up to the clients. I came out and she smiled a bit for me as I smiled back and put down the food that I bought. I sat across her and we started eating. It was silent at first and I'm trying to think of a topic that we could talk to but when I was supposed to speak she was the one who did first. 

"So, how are you?"

It was a long time ever since she asked that, ever since I came out from jail she wasn't asking me how am I doing, Am I doing fine? Or anything. After a year she finally asked me and I know I'm doing alright. Everything's fine.

"I'm doing okay, how about you?" I asked while looking at her

"I'm okay...yeah okay" I nodded hesitantly, I know that voice too much and I know everything's not doing okay

"Hey...I know something is not right. You can talk to me" she looked at me "b-but only if you want to"

She smiled and chuckled. Oh, how I miss that sound "You're still cute whenever you get nervous" I blushed, I just nodded at her and played with my fingers. It became my habit when I was in Jail. Weird I know but I can't help it.

I rolled the sweater that I was wearing and started to eat the chicken "So, how're the twins doing when you know I was in jail?" I managed to ask, I didn't know what happened, I know their names but I want to know how they were doing when I'm away or locked I guess.

"They are doing okay Jade and Jasmine are healthy when they came out and they were quiet and soft once they are growing up. Jade tend to do all your habits and Jasmine was like mine, Lester was so close to them and he acted like a big brother to them" she says while I nodded and took another bite of the chicken

"Your friends didn't leave you right?"

"No, especially Jihye and Lauren. They were there to help and support me throughout my pregnancy and also Gabbie. They gave me the things that I needed and they even paid for the hospital bills" She says while I sigh internally

"Jieun.." she looked at me "I'm so sorry" I mumbled while she held my hands and gripped it

"It's okay..everything's okay now. It's in the past we have to move on and start a new life right? I know I became hard towards you but I'm sorry also because I still can't accept the fact that you tried to harass Lauren which she doesn't deserve. I'm kinda moving on from everything when we were in Korea but I realized all your hard work for gaining my trust again and the kids. I was just waiting for you to open up to go here in your country" I couldn't help but sigh in relief, I intertwined our hands together and she felt so relaxed.

She told me to sit on the chair beside her so I did. She instantly lay her head on my shoulder and I rested my cheeks on the top of her head. It feels like this was the time that everything was okay and fixed, this is what our first went when I was still courting her back then and she will usually bite my shoulder whenever she feels like it. But now, she seems so soft and sweet.

"I missed you so much, Ara. You don't even know" she mumbled and I could feel the tears streaming down her cheeks, I panicked and instantly cup her cheeks while I wipe her tears using my thumb

"Hey...you don't have to cry. I'm here right now and I won't ever leave you and the kids again. I won't do the same mistake that I did and I promise you, you can trust me because I realized that you guys are my life, you're my family and you're the person that I need in my whole life, Jieun. I love you so much and I miss you so much" She nodded and hid her face on my neck trying to hide sobs but I told her to let it out while rubbing her back

"Don't leave me"

"I won't Jieun. I promise, we will never be apart again and I will never do the same mistake again. You have my word" She nodded and I kiss the top of her head. Saying to her that I won't ever leave her, how much I love her and how much important she is to me.

This is another start for me.