Chapter 3

By the time we reached my grandma's house, we are already slightly muddy and the rain is just getting stronger and stronger. The road can't be seen clearly. The rain seems like a fog that covers everything. The sun was nowhere in sight but you can see traces of darkness indicating that it about to be nighttime soon.

“Goodness gracious, where have you been?” grandma immediately asked when she saw Damien and me being wet from the rain.

“Lily saw me strolling outside earlier and then she brought me to Sara, Daniel, Paula, and Damien. We had a good time, grandma.” I couldn't help but blabber what happened about the whole time I was out there.

Damien was about to leave when grandma said something.

“Damien, son, it’s raining heavily. It would be better if you'd just stay here for tonight, it's not safe for you to go home in this weather.”

He was hesitant for a moment but decided to settle with grandma’s idea. She gave us fresh towels and told us to freshen up before heading down to dinner. I headed to my room and jumped into the shower to get off the dirt that stuck on me when we were running off and splashing on the puddles from the rain like we were seven-year-olds. It was gross, I know, but it was kind of liberating to just don’t care. What Damien did earlier made me realize that I have suppressed to much to the point that even my inner child almost forgot what it felt like to be free from everything again.

I stepped off the shower feeling refreshed yet somewhat cold so I decided to put on some warm clothes to ease the coldness I felt. I head downstairs and found Damien in grandpa's spare pajamas and shirt. In my honest opinion, he looks sexy in those. I scoffed with the thought. Really, Grace? For Pete’s sake, he’s my best friend.

“Grace, come on honey, dinner is ready.”

When I stepped into the dining room everyone is already there seated around the table. The aroma of the chicken soup is floating in the air. I wasted no time as I settled down in a chair and started scooping some rice. I took another bowl and started putting broth in it. When I look at them, I didn't realize they were staring at me the whole time.

“What?” I said, breaking their silence. They all chuckled at my response.

“Slow down, Grace,” Damien spoke while trying to suppress his laugh. I saw grandpa stifling his laugh, too.

The dinner went on peacefully. Amid the heavy rain, I still couldn't find any hint of drowsiness visiting me. I headed to the balcony with a thick blanket wrapped around me. The blanket covered me from my shoulders down to my feet, completely blocking the cold wind brought by the rain. I settled down on the long chair and stared outside. Droplets after droplets but still the rain seems unsatisfied with its heavy downpour. The rain. The memory of that night came rushing back to me again. Those smiles. How happy he is. How could I forget that smile when it haunts me every time?

“A penny for your thoughts?” a voice from the man beside me snapped me out from my thoughts. He settled down beside me and hands me a cup of hot cocoa drink. I took the cup from him and slowly began sipping from it.

“Did you make this?” I asked him, pertaining to the hot drink.

“Uhm, no. Your grandma made it,”

Unconsciously, I leaned my head on his shoulders but withdraws the moment I realized what I did. He turned to me and gently tapped his shoulders, “Come on, it’s okay.”

“Tell me about it.”

“About what?” I absentmindedly retorted back.

“I know you didn’t just come back here by any chance, something’s up and it seems like you’re running away from it.”

“It’s just...” I trailed off.

“Just what?” he prompted, waiting for what I have to say.

“It’s just small things,” I stared at my drink for a moment before reverting my gaze to the darkness in front of me.

“Small things? I see. How small could that be to have you running back here?” I looked at him and right from there, I know couldn't hide anything anymore. I feel like a blueprint being read by an architect, there's nothing I could hide.

“When I was in college, I met this man.”

I stared at him first before I started narrating and telling him all the things that happened while I was away. For more than a decade that I was gone, so many things have happened; too many disappointments both from me and from other people; too many days when I felt so alone like everyone I cared about left me for no exact reason. Back in our university, I knew people whom I consider as friends but never as best friends wherein I could confide the utmost sincerity of my feelings. For me, friendship is like a degree of burns; it goes on first, second, and third degrees. The first degrees of friendship are those who share a shallow bond where it can easily be broken by superficial things they could know about you. The second ones are those who share a somewhat deep yet not so deep bond with you, those friends stay in between the first and third ones. The third degree of friendship is the deepest and the closest to you, they're the ones who know and have been there for you in your tough times.

My friends here on the farm, they're the ones on the third degree. They might not be there during those years I was away but but they've known me on my most vital years of living. They’ve been with me when it feels like my parents abandoned me to the farm and I was young.

I have stopped talking but still, the rain goes on, it never stopped. The cup of chocolate drink that is now empty has already gone cold.

“You still want to stay here? You might catch a cold if you stay here longer,”

I smiled at him slightly before saying, “I’ll come inside later.”

With that, he went inside and I was left alone again. I hadn’t opened up to anyone for a long time and I think Damien was one who first heard my story since I came back here.

The night is getting cold and the rain is raging its wrath like it had pent up itself for so long that it reaches its limit. It comes down heavily, pouring down what has been concealed. I stand up and took the cup from where it was settled. I hold the blanket tightly around me and disappeared from the ferocious coldness. I placed the cup on the sink and drank a glass of water before heading to my room.

I slipped on my bed with thoughts still rumbling in my head like the thunder to a storm. I think about so many things and after the sun went down, I felt like I had a strenuous day at work. Before oblivion grabbed me in, all I remember was that I needed to sort things and start fixing myself before it destroys all of what was left in me.