.
Much to my surprise, it worked.
Warren was all over me. He was
constantly making sure my drink
was full, taught me how to play the
drinking games, and had me attached
to his side the whole time. I felt like I
was on cloud-nine. I had a crush on
Warren since he and Toby became
friends back in fifth grade. Toby didn't
think twice about it, he was off on his
own flirting with the senior girls that
would give him the time of day. He
figured I was safe with his best friend.
So did I.
However, soon enough I realized
I drank too much. I started to feel
sick, I was incoherent, the room was
spinning. Warren quickly noticed
and offered to take me away from the
party and upstairs so I could lay down,
and I let him. He seemed worried
about my disoriented state of mind.
I soon passed out, only to wake up to
a throbbing pain down below, and it
didn't take long for me to realize what
had happened. My innocence was
gone, snatched from me against my
will.
I haven't spoken since.
Memories of what happened came
back to me in waves in the days after it
happened. My dad put me into therapy.
Through nmeeting with me therapist, I
was able to recall certain details that
I wish I never did. They thought that
having me remember and writing
about what happened would help my
voice come back, but soon my therapist
diagnosed me with PTSD that was
blocking me from being able to talk
and shortly after that I stopped trying.
I ended up learning sign language as
my way of communicating, or writing
things down since the majority of
people don't understand ASL. Toby and
my dad learned it with me, as well as
my closest friends.
I shake my head and walk back down
the hall and into Toby's room, blaring
the air horn into the silence. Flinching
at the noise, I watch as they both
shoot up in a panic, but seconds later
Toby's blue eyes land on me and he
groans, burying his head under the
pillow while the girl next to him tries
to hide under him, frantically asking
what's going on. I suppose I could havechosen another plan of action to wake
them, one that may not have been as
traumatizing for the girl, but nothing
beats the sound of an air-horn.
I go downstairs to start cooking
breakfast for Toby and me. I would
make some for the girl too, but I know
my brother's ways. She won't stay
for longer than another few minutes,
repulsed by my brother and his player ways.
As though acting out my thoughts,
angered footsteps come storming
down the steps and an equally pissed
off voice follows.
"Lose my number, asshole!""
The front door slams shut, echoing in
the house. I'm surprised the poor girl
was even allowed to stay the whole
night, Toby usually kicks them out
after he's had his fun. I don't condone
what he does, but I've learned that I can't necessarily stop him.
I frown and pour the pancake batter
onto the griddle, shaking my head
slightly at my brothers antics. He hasa new girl at least once a week, and
this girl lasted one night before being
kicked out. Most don't last longer than
that. Toby is famous for his record
of one night stands. It's not exactly a
superlative I would want to have, and
it's not exactly something I like to brag
about at family reunions.
I flip the pancakes onto a plate and
set it in the middle of the counter,
counting the seconds until my brother
will come bounding down the stairs.
I'm sure the scent of our breakfast has
drifted up through the ceiling and is
just now reaching his room.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two-
Here he is.
He comes sauntering into the kitchen,
his eyes set on the pancakes. He looks
to me and smiles gratefully, messing up
my hair.
"Thanks Raine," he says, taking his
seat at the counter before digging into
his breakfast. "I think this is your best batch of pancakes."
I smile and nod my response. He keeps
shoveling them into his mouth, the
large stack getting smaller with each
passing second, and my eyes divert
to the fridge. I look at one particular
picture sticking to it with a blue
magnet, standing out against the black
of the fridge, and a frown etches its
way onto my lips. It's of Toby and I
with our parents. I'm no older than
four years old, and he's no older than
five. If you didn't know he was a grade
above me you would think we were
twins with how similar our looks are.
My free hand comes up to play with the
necklace around my neck; my mother's
necklace. She passed away when I was
five, car accident. She was driving to
pick Toby up from his soccer game that
my dad had to leave early to go get me
from daycare. A truck ran his stop sign,
barreling into my mom on the drivers side.
My father instantly jumped into care
mode for my brother and I after the
funeral, never really giving himself
the chance to grieve. I knew her death
affected him greatly, he loved my mom
so much I wondered if he even loved
her more than Toby and I. I don't ever
remember a sour moment between the
two; we were kind of like the golden family.
But when she was killed, we lost that
reputation. Our father didn't take his
anger or grief out on his kids, nor did
he end up drinking his sorrow away.
He cared for Toby and I the best he
could being a single father with a full
time job, and yet he refused to marry
anyone else to get help. He wasn't used
to being a single father, and he had a
tough time adjusting. There were times
he would forget to pick Toby or I up
from practice or school, or he would
forget to buy certain groceries at the
store, but we loved him regardless because he was there for us.
When I turned 12 his business took
off. It became a big name in the
business world, and he was forced to
get an apartment in New York, leavingShe shakes her head, "I ate before I
left. So, who was it this time?" She
asks, referring to my womanizer of a
brother and his girl of choice.
"Some girl"
Alyse rolls her eyes. "Well obviously. I
meant like does she go to our school?"
I shake my head.
She purses her lips and nods, getting
lost in her own head, but I don't miss
the flash of sadness that crosses her
eyes. I frown and put a hand on her
shoulder to get her attention. When
she looks back at me I drop my hand
and sign to her reassuringly.
"He's an idiot, he will realize what he's
doing is wrong and stop it one day. Then
he can come running to you."
She laughs sadly and shakes her head
at me. "Yeah, right."
"You two ready to go?" Toby asks as he
comes back into the room with his hair
wet and no longer messed up from his
fun night.
We nod and he grabs his keys and
backpack, Alyse and I following.We get into his Ford F-150 Raptor
and start driving to school with the
radio cranked up. I look over at my
unusually quiet friend and my lips turn
down. Usually she's jamming out to the
music along with Toby, but now she's
looking out the window sorrowfully.
I'm not the only one with family
problems. Alyse's father passed away
when we were in 8th grade, and her
mother hasn't been the same since.
But I know that's not what she's upset
about right now. She has a hopeless
crush on Toby, a cliche just like mine
was with Warren. Of course, what
happened to me will never happen to
her. My brother is a womanizer, but
he would never do to anyone what
Warren did to me.