9. What Is This Feeling

I wake up feeling groggier then ever, my mind is clouded and no thoughts come to me whatsoever.

I get up slowly and walk over to my full length mirror and look into it. My body was covered in bruises, I don't think I've ever looked this beat up, no wonder I feel like crap. I focused my Chakra in my palms and they begin glowing green, I needed to heal myself if I was going to leave my room today..

The cooling sensation fill my arm as I tried to focus on healing it but there didn't seem to be much progress, I kept trying until they looked slightly better and then started getting dressed.

I put on a black mid sleeve shirt and blue skinny jeans then headed out to the kitchen for something quick to eat, I hurried along down to the medical room where my last lesson on poisons and antidote was to take place.

As soon as I walked in Kabuto's gaze fell on me. "Morning" His usual tone ringing through the room. "Today's session will be the last on this subject, I've pre made a poison that I want you to concoct an antidote too"

I walked into the room properly and sit down at the desk across from him, nodding. He glanced down at my arms, probably noticing the bruising but he didn't say anything he just went back to looking through the charts In front of him.

The poison was sitting on my desk ready to go, I took out a few drops and headed over to the microscope to have a closer look. When I had a sample of the poison magnified I analysed it and mentally made a list of things to counteract the contents, I still needed to prepare some ingredients and test the poison on a scroll so I didn't waste any time. A few hours past and I had finished concocting my antidote, I dropped some poison onto a scroll and then added the antidote. The poison began to steam and disappeared..

"It's done" I said looking over at Kabuto who was now typing something up on a computer, he stood up and came over to have a look for himself.

"Well done Tila, you can go now" He said, heading back over to what he was doing. I had plenty of antidote left so I decided to bottle it before I went, you never know when you might need it I thought to myself.

I went to the bathroom for a quick toilet break on my way to my room, I needed to get my weapons before I went to the training room or else Orochimaru won't be happy.

The memories of last night flooded back quickly before I could stop them, I'd just closed my bedroom door as the tears began to flow. No. Tila, be strong. I stopped my sudden sobs and gave myself a moment before summoning my things, I headed back to the room I was to meet Orochimaru and Sasuke.

They were both already there when I approached, my gaze automatically shifted to the ground when I got close enough to notice his piercing stare.

"Glad you've decided to finally join us, let's begin" Orochimaru started to talk but my gaze was desperately trying to avoid it. "Now, come at me" He challenged, after babbling on for a bit that was. We trained for about an hour or two, not as long as usual but I wasn't complaining. I felt so sick that it was effecting my fighting, I screwed up a few times and saw scolded.

After we finished up Orochimaru dismissed Sasuke and I then walked away into the darkness as usual. Sasuke looked over at me "Tila, do you still want me to show you that technique? If your too tired I ca-"

I cut him off quickly I didn't want his sympathy "Yeah show me, I'm not tired at all". He raised his eyebrow slightly, he'd taken one look at me earlier and gone wide eyed when noticing my bruises.. "Fine, This is called Chidori" He began weaving and grasped onto his wrist with his right hand as a ball of moving lightning started to form, it screeched and made high pitch noises that could even have been mistaken for chirping birds.

"Oh, that's an incredible change of Chakra nature" I stared at it in amazement.

"What were the signs?" I asked as I readied myself in excitement "O Ushi - Usagi - Saru, you'll need to build up a lot of chakra" He replied, taking a step back.

I took a deep breath then weaved quickly and slapped my arm just as Sasuke had done, a small amount of lightning began to form but disappeared quickly. "I'll need to practise more.." I said a bit annoyed that mine hadn't turned out like his.

"You won't get it straight away and even when you do, you will not be able to do more than about two until your Chakra gets stronger" He broke off for a second eyeing me. "Lets go and eat".

"Sure, Hope you like Ramen because that's all we have around here" I said smirking a little as I turned to face the hall in which the kitchen was located.

"Mhm, I don't care" He said from beside me as we walked, our hands brushed for a second. It instantly sent shivers over me. "What's wrong?" Sasuke asked, peering to the side at me. "Ah - I'm fine" I quickly dismissed, looking down so he couldn't see my reaction.

We entered the kitchen and I headed straight towards the cupboard but Sasuke had gotten there first, he looked over his shoulder at me "Just sit down, I'll make lunch". He opened the cupboard and started to pull out noodle packets. "Umm". Sasuke heard my confused sound and paused, looking over at me with a questioning look.

"Why.. are you being nice to me?" The words quietly slipped through my lips as if they had struggled to come out. "I'm not" He refuted blankly. I sat down like he'd asked me too and looked over at him from across the bench, he noticed and sent a smirk my way. "Your always looking at me, you sure something isn't wrong?" He turned back to fill a pot with water as he spoke.

"I'm sure nothing's wrong" I averted my gaze to the fridge. "Then where did you get all those bruises huh? They weren't there when we were training yesterday" He continued cooking casually as he asked.

"Oh those are nothing" I said hurriedly, I can't believe he asked.. Oh that wasn't a very good excuse I thought to myself, quick make up something better!

"If you say so" He didn't question any further thank god, the last thing I need is Sasuke prodding around in my business..

I was ashamed of myself and I can't imagine what he would think of me if he knew the truth. "Here" He placed a steaming bowl in front of me with some chopsticks beside it. "Thanks" I picked up the chopsticks. He blew on his noodles to cool them down, as I looked at him I couldn't help but begin to wonder about him..

Now that I think of it, he has such a cold front and an emotionless essence to him... Yet he does these subtle things that someone who didn't care wouldn't do.. In a way his actions slightly contradict the look he gives off.

"So, Do you want to train again tomorrow?" He looks up at me, noodles still dangling off his sticks as he asks. "Yeah, I think so. To be honest, it's nice having someone to train with" A ghost of a smile crept on to his face, it was only for a fraction of a second before it disappeared again.

"Mh".

He finished off his bowl, grabbed my emptied bowl and put them into the sink. I stood up and made my way to the sink. "Let me help" I quickly grabbed the wash cloth from him and washed up, he didn't interject. He walked over to the door. "Night" He was short with his words before closing the door behind him.

I finished up and headed back to my room, he was one strange guy. Don't think about him too much Tila, you can't afford to be falling in love willy nilly.. Wait what? Love? I never said anything about love? Oh god brain shut up.

I closed my bedroom door behind me and put away all my weapons and took my shin pads off, I got changed into my pyjamas and lied on my bed getting comfortable. I laid there for a while until I started to lightly doze off but was awoken by a small knock on the door.. A knock? Oh no please don't be..

"Tila?" Wait... that wasn't who I thought it was...

I quickly got up and opened the door a little to peek through, Sasuke was standing there in his pyjamas looking really suspicious..

"What're you doing here?" I asked, totally surprised to see him."I thought we could watch a movie, there's nothing to do around this place and I'm bored out of my mind" He replied, taking a quick look over his shoulder before turning his attention back to me.

"Um I suppose so" I opened the door enough for him to get in then shut it quickly behind him.

"I don't have movies though, did you bring one?" He raised his hand and showed me the hard case of Titanic "Really? Titanic?" I raised my eyebrow pretending to tease him. "Look, it's all I have besides it's a good movie" He made his way over to the small T.V facing my bed and put it in.

"Your rooms a lot nicer then mine, how'd you manage that?" He questions as he pressed the play button. "I .. Ah, don't know really" I lied knowing full well it was because I was special to Orochimaru. He made himself comfortable on my bed and I sat down next to him waiting for the movie to start, he looked over at me. "Comfortable?" He asked. "Yeah" I replied with a small smile.

The movie went on for a while and Sasuke had fallen asleep well before it had finished, I didn't really know whether or not to wake him so I just sort of tucked him in and got under the sheets.

I felt an arm wrap itself around my waist and pull me close followed by snoring, oh well this was awkward but for some reason really nice at the same time.. A wave of comfort fell over me the second Sasuke's arm did and I lied there for a while thinking about how if only he wasn't unconscious while hugging me.

I pushed the thought of all of that lovey dovey stuff out of my mind, what was I thinking.. Sometimes I felt as if I had split personalities, had I not learnt anything since I'd been here? There is no way I can trust anyone anymore, how could I after all I've been through? All that had come of it was pain and suffering and I'd had enough of that, if I didn't feel for anyone then I couldn't be hurt and it was essentially as simple as that.

Don't be weak Tila, don't fall for this guys subtle charm. With that last thought I felt myself fall asleep.