64. Don't Let Tomorrow Come

As Sasori and I briskly walk back towards the base I feel like I'm finally going home for the first time, the thought of seeing everyone makes me feel so anxious but excited all at once, however these dreadful worries that plague me about the upcoming war are still in the back of my mind and they aren't going away anytime soon.

We finally made it up the stairwell and towards the meeting room door, as I pushed it open I saw Konan and Deidara both look up in our direction.

"I need to call a meeting" I told them both seriously as I walked over, they gave a look of apprehension and Konan suddenly stood up, her eyes still locked on me as I reached her side.

"Tila.. Did you.." She began to say carefully, I knew what she was going to ask so I gave a small assuring nod. Her eyes lit up and Deidara quickly stood up onto his feet too, he pushed past Konan and wrapped his arms tightly around me without warning, smothering my face into his chest as he did.

"It's so good to to have you back, un" Deidara sighed in relief, I felt some of my anxiety settle but I couldn't breath because he was hugging me to tightly.

"It feels good to be back, I'm so sorry Deidara.." I managed to say although muffled slightly. I felt Deidara let me go again, he seemed so relieved but I on the other hand didn't completely share those feelings.

"I'll go and gather everyone then, Hm" Deidara said before quickly walking out of the room.

Sasori, Konan and I took a seat at the table, a few looks were exchange and I could tell there was something that was wanting to be said before Konan finally spoke.

"How did you get your memory back?" She asked plainly, I could see the curiosity shine in her eyes, I let out a small sigh because I just didn't know if I really wanted to talk about it..

The whole ordeal was just so unorthodox and it made me feel strange. I shot Sasori a very small blank look and I think he may have picked up on the fact that I didn't want to talk about it because he then cleared his throat.

"We can talk about it later Konan, I think there are more pressing issues at hand" he explained calmly. Konan accepted the answer given with a curt nod and let the subject go, I leaned back in my chair and looked straight ahead at the double wooden oak doors and as I did they opened.

Kakuzu hadn't changed a bit and Kisame gave that familiar fishy grin as they both walked in and took a seat at the other end of the table.

"About time kid" Kisame teased, Kakuzu on the other hand simply gave a small huff - the door then opened again and Hidan who's smirk was from ear to ear burst in!

"Fuck! Finally! Shit has been so boring without you around" Hidan then exclaimed as he slumped down Into the chair besides Kakuzu who just stared at him for a moment blankly.. Probably thinking about what an idiot he is.

"I've been here the whole time" I chuckled jokingly, Hidan just rolled his eyes playfully - suddenly the door opened again but this time Itachi, Sasuke and Deidara made their way in and took a seat, those stoic expressions will never fade. I started to explain now that everyone was facing me and quietly listening.

"Look, I need to talk about this war." As I announced what my concerns were about I received a few curious looks from around the room so I decided to go on.

"I'm so sorry for not being a part of this earlier but I'm here now. It's a lot to take in but I don't think we should go to war" I explained firmly, I had a feeling that I would get some hard questions thrown my way and I'd mentally prepared for it.

"What are you talking about Til? Why not?" Deidara asked as he sat on the edge of his chair leaning into the table earnestly.

"Too many people are going to die, we know what Madara is like. He doesn't have any regard for life." Deidara sat back and brushed his hair back with his hand as though letting my response sink in.

"It's impossible, there isn't any other way to deal with this" Kakuzu shot across the table, Hidan nodded in agreement before speaking up.

"Kakuzu is right, he's the fucking one who announced war. I can't think of anything else we can fucking do about it" Hidan reasoned. I looked around the table, everyone I considered family was here and I couldn't let any of them put themselves In danger. I hadn't been able to protect them in the past and I could never live with myself if anything was ever to happen to them again.

"Tila, there's nothing you can do to change this decision now" Sasuke's cold voice then rang out breaking the silence and also causing the cogs in my head to start turning as I looked over to Sasuke and Itachi.

It was so unusual to see them sitting together, after all this time they'd made amends, if I was to go against everyone's wishes would they forgive me...

"Fine, I guess I have no choice but to go along with the decision that's been made" I said admitting defeat, rubbed my forehead worriedly. Konan gently patted me on the back and faintly smiled

"everything's going to work out, you don't need to worry" she reassured. I returned her small smile but deep down inside her words hadn't brought me any comfort at all, not when I knew in the back of my mind the severity of the situation at hand.. I mean, how could it be fine?

Madara was ruthless and he would stop at nothing to destroy this world, destroy the ones I love and I just couldn't let that happen, not after I'd only just finally seen their faces again, the thought of loosing anyone I cared about again brought tears to my eyes although I held them back and continued to put my fake smile on for show.

They weren't the only ones who were well rehearsed by now.

I sat quietly and continued to take in the sight of everyone together again as they all started to break off into individual conversations, it's just something I want to savour while it lasts, I know I can't sit back and do nothing, not when so many lives are at risk and if protecting that means doing something crazy then so be it. I snapped back from my thoughts as I felt a hand being placed on my shoulder, I looked up to see Sasuke's tedious smirk glowing down at me.

"Think we should train? I heard your a little rusty" he mused in that typical Uchiha way, it really made me feel as though nothing had changed and there truly was a small comfort to be taken in that fact.

"You're right, I need it" I admitted before turning back to Sasori who was still siting beside me, I gave him a small nudge in the side to get his attention from his conversation with Deidara causing him to turn and face me.

"I'm going to train for a bit, I'll see you at dinner?" I asked, Sasori raised a playful eyebrow.

"Is that so? I doubt that Uchiha will be enough competition for you so take Hidan along with you too" he said cooly, I subtly snuck a peak back at Sasuke to see if he had heard Sasori's cheeky remark but he was too busy looking over at Itachi so I gave Sasori a small wink before standing up.

"Hidan!" I yelled out across the room, he quickly looked up and yelled back.

"Yeah, what?" I grabbed Sasuke's arm and dragged him over to where Hidan was sitting, Sasuke didn't object as he let me drag him over to were the immortals sat.

"Come train" I urged, wiggling my eyebrows as I asked for some greatly needed emphasis.

"What? Aren't you fucking tired from getting your memory back or something?" Hidan asked confoundedly but when I vigorously shook my head he laughed and raised that cocky brow of his.

"So that's a yes? I'm not good at sheraids so let's just go" I exclaimed as I yanked him up from his chair.

"Sheesh take it easy, I'll fucking come" Hidan laughed, I could tell Sasuke was a little hesitant by the look he was giving Hidan but I didn't care, I knew he'd get over it so I made my way back out of the meeting room with them following behind.

When we reached the training room down on the first floor I took my place across from Hidan and Sasuke, readying myself or what was to come, I could feel my Chakra more prominently now that I was drawing my focus onto it and I silently prayed that I would still be able to use it, especially if I was planning to take on someone like Madara.

"So how the fuck did you want to do this?" Hidan asked, Sasuke quickly answered.

"Try producing a Chidori" he suggested, I did as he said and focused my Chakra into my palm - the same way I used too before I'd lost my ability to use Jutsu and low and behold I felt my Chakra surge through my veins as though it had been wanting to escape for such a long time. The lightning that formed rippled dangerously in my palm as I held it out for the two to see in plain sight.

"Better than I expected, Hn. Hidan will attack you head on while I send fireballs your way" Sasuke said coldly.

"What? Take it easy though yeah? Don't singe my hair or I'll kill you" I quickly blurted out, I hadn't even warmed up yet and Sasuke wanted to go all out.

Jeez.. guess it is for the best right?

I watched Hidan grin evilly, he always did love a good fight and I started to feel the excitement id been missing for such a long time return in full.

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Hidan, Sasuke and I trained for a few hours, it had felt so refreshing to fight again, to know my Chakra was still running strongly through my veins, to know I was still on top of my game, the adrenaline that followed only intensified my will to take actions into my own hands.

After we'd finished training I decided to head back to my room and get ready for dinner, I took my time as I cleaned myself up, still helplessly deep in thought about how to execute my plan.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror of my bathroom, a deadly silence filling my surroundings as I think about the hardest part of what I was about to do.

I didn't want to leave everyone, I didn't want to leave Sasori.

I watched as tears slid down my pale cheeks, slowly trailing down until they reached my chin where they lingered for only a moment before dropping off my face.

This was by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It breaks my heart, I don't want go but I already know in my soul that if I don't end this I will loose him.

I have to be brave, I won't get a chance to make things right again.

I pat my tear filled eyes dry and put on my white shirt and baggy navy pants, I take one last look in the mirror - my reflection stares back at me.

"I've made my decision" I whisper to myself before leaving my room.

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Light chatter and laughter ring around the dinner table as everyone tucks Into their meals, it brings a smile to my face to see everyone so happy for once, it truly was a sight I could get used too I think to myself as I chew a mouthful of noodles eagerly.

Sasori and Deidara sit on either side of me and are in a heated discussion about who should lead the commando unit for the war, I couldn't avoid hearing what they were saying seeing as it was basically right In front of me.

"I say Tila and I should lead that unit yeah" Deidara said sending me cheeky smirk as he suggested it but the annoyed expression on Sasori's face gave me the impression he was unamused.

"You need to lead the long range unit brat, you're of no use on any other unit" Sasori retorted somewhat wittily.

"It's obvious that the most strategically inclined here is Itachi. He should lead the command unit" Sasuke butted in from beside Dei and I couldn't help but laugh as I watched Dei turn to Sasuke and give him the most annoyed look I've probably ever seen him give anyone.

"No one asked you! Hm" Deidara shot back, I watched in amusement as Sasuke rolled his eyes and then I heard Kisame give his two cents worth as well.

"You guys argue way too much, but I'd have to agree with the kid. Itachi would be most fitting" Kisame grinned but his words seemed to only fuel the fire because Deidara now seemed really pissed.

"Dei, calm down, it doesn't even matter that much" I reassured, patting his leg as I did, Deidara let out a sigh and dropped the conversation all together and I was glad - the last thing I wanted to see was everyone getting along.

Everyone finished up eating and after lingering for a while longer in conversation everyone started heading back to their rooms for the night until only Sasori and I remained.

"Did you want some company tonight?" Sasori asked me smoothly, I felt a small guilt wash over me as his words reached my ears, it hurt me badly knowing that I might not be in his company much longer.

"I'm really tired, perhaps I should try and get a good nights rest" I managed to say although making the words leave my lips were a struggle.

Sasori's orbs glazed over my face gently, he was analysing and I could tell, it made me feel uneasy but soon enough he broke the intense gaze and I felt him kiss my cheek softy.

"If you say so" he said quietly after pulling away, I felt my insides sink but I held myself together as desperately as I could. I'd already decided and I couldn't turn back now, something has to be done, it's the only way.

"Goodnight Sasori, I love you" I whispered.

"I love you too Tila." I watched silently as Sasori stood up and left the room, left me in silence sitting alone.

I stood up, pushed my chair back in and made my way out of the kitchen, up the stairs, down the dark hall towards my room. I slowly pushed open the door and stepped in to my dark room, closed the door behind and then looked around.

A pair of red eyes glowed as a figure that was otherwise shrouded in darkness sat on my bed, the figure was unidentifiable with the lack of light but as soon as the voice spoke I knew exactly who it belonged too.

"Lock the door behind you, I think it's about time we had a talk."