Death and Rebirth

My vision is fading… there's doctors all around me, but it's too late. I asked for help too late, so now not only am I going to die, I'm going to die in a stupidly embarrassing way… I don't want to die like this. I'm too young, I haven't even done anything yet. I've done nothing with my life and now I'm dying? How pathetic…

I'm useless, I'm dumb, I can't ask for help, I can't do anything on my own, and I'm pathetic. Now I'm going to die like that. It's so fitting for me I hate it. I don't want to die like this, I don't want to be so awful, I don't want to hate myself, I want to actually achieve something, before I die. I just don't want to die.

I don't want to die… I don't want to die… I don't want to die…

The pain fades away as my consciousness recedes into darkness.

I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die.

I can't hear any of the doctors anymore. I'm comfortable…

I don't want to die! I don't want to die! I don't want to die!

My life flashes before my eyes and then…

I DON'T WANT TO DIE!

><><><><

Nothing.

All my senses pick up nothing. I try to reach for any memories within my head. Nothing.

How long have I been here? A second? A year? An eternity? I don't know. There's no way to tell.

Somewhere, a point of light begins glowing ever so faintly. I have no body, no face, no eyes, yet I face towards it anyway. It starts glowing brighter, and I begin to feel again.

Does it take seconds, or does it take millenia? I can't tell. But slowly my memories return to me. I become aware of my body returning to me. My legs, my arms, my torso, my breasts, my head, they all return to me as I reach out towards that light as if it's the most important thing in the world.

My sense of direction still hasn't returned to me, so I can't tell if I'm facing up, down, forwards, or backwards. My only reference is the light. My only directions are towards and away from the light.

My senses have returned to me, but other than my eyes picking up that light I can sense nothing. I don't feel anything around my body, there is no taste in my mouth, no smells flowing through my nose, no sound I can pick up. I continue to reach towards that light as much as I can, but I cannot stand.

Eventually, I see the light coming towards me. What was once so faint it could barely be picked up, is now almost blinding. I see all sorts of different blue rays of light go past me, and I can feel wind blowing from the direction of the light. The darkness begins to fade away.

I reach even harder as the light encompasses my entire view. I have to close my eyes, but I will not stop reaching towards it. I can hear the wind blowing through my ears, and I can hear a long and high pitched chiiing sound as my entire body is encompassed by warmth. For the first time in what could have been seconds or what could have been eternities, I remember who I am.

All of this eventually ceases, but my eyes remain closed. I'm thirsty, like the feeling of waking up in the middle of night because you desperately need something to drink. Other than that, I can't stop thinking about how awful I feel. I feel like I only got an hour of sleep in one night, and I have a splitting headache. Focusing on the things around me, I can tell that I'm laying on a stone floor, with absolutely no clothes.

Before I can even question what I'm doing here, instead of on a hospital bed, I hear a bunch of male sounding voices all around me. I don't understand a word that they're saying but that doesn't register right now.

I quickly open my eyes and sit up, and see what's around a dozen or a dozen and a half old men in robes all around me, while I'm laying here with absolutely nothing on.

><><><><

As I walk through the large hallway, I can't help but feel incredibly stressed. With what the king has ordered the Magic Guild to do, any number of things could go wrong, and I'm the one and only person meant to fix those things if they do happen to go wrong. It's quite stressful. After all this is done, I really need to get out and take a walk. A real walk, and not prancing around the castle waiting for any sort of news.

"Cherilyn! Cherilyn! We need your help!" One of the mages shouts at me from the other side of the hallway. He sounds really desperate, so I spring into action quickly, and begin walking towards him. We walk quickly as he leads me to the lower areas of the castle.

"It's the second summon." The mage is leading me to the summoning area, I'm assuming. What happened with the second summoning? I was really hoping that I would not be needed, but it looks like I was too optimistic again. The magic for summoning somebody from another world is so ridiculously complex, all sorts of horrible things could happen to the summon. It's only natural that a healer of my caliber would be needed eventually.

"What happened? Are they still alive? Did they make it through?" I ask my questions as quickly and clearly as possible as we both head towards the summoning area. I need to get as accurate a picture as possible before we arrive.

"Um, no it isn't that bad. All of that is fine." Is his response. I was under the impression this was really urgent, but his tone is really making me think otherwise.

"Then what's the problem?" If nothing went wrong with the summoning, then why would I be needed?

"Nothing went wrong with the summoning itself. It's just that the summon is in a really bad mental state, and we haven't been able to get her to move or speak."

"And it isn't a mental injury sustained by the summoning?" The mage breaks eye contact and looks away from me when I say this.

"No, we don't think so…"

"Then a mental trauma from their past life?" The mage looks increasingly worried.

"Maybe, but we're not sure." I'm getting kind of tired of beating around the bush at this point.

"What happened?"

"Um, the summon this time was a girl, and… when she looked at all the mages around her she… started screaming and running away… She's been curled up in the corner of the summoning room crying for a while now. We've avoided approaching her for obvious reasons."

Oh, so that's what happened. "And what else have you done?"

"Eh, don't glare at me like that! We left a blanket in there and we all left after the first minute or two! We haven't done anything else, I swear."

So they're sending me in there to try and calm her down. I'm not sure how I feel about being made to do a task like that, but I have a job to do, and we can't keep the poor girl locked in there forever.

"I'm not nearly as skilled at patching up mental wounds as I am at physical wounds. If this behavior is the result of some sort of trauma, I'm not going to be able to do much. Keep that in mind."

The mage nods. "Yes ma'am."

"Also, if it is the result of a trauma, I'll be keeping her to watch over her." The mage looks worried as soon as I say this.

"Um, will the king really be happy with that…?"

"I'm very close with King __. I'll be able to convince him, since the first summon looks so promising. I'll have my work cut out for me if the third summon turns out similar, though."

><><><><

I wipe my eyes with the blanket that the men left behind. Wow, I actually cried. They all left, and they tried to be as quiet as possible, so they probably weren't trying to do anything to my body. I probably just got the wrong idea and panicked.

I'm calm now, so I need to focus on what happened. I organize all the latest events into a list.

Dying in the hospital

Being semi-conscious with that weird light.

Wake up on stone, naked and surrounded by men.

Panic

All the men leave, leaving me a blanket to cover myself in.

What even was that weird light? I never experienced anything like it before. Maybe I would have seen something like that if I was on an acid trip, but that couldn't have happened. It might have just been a dream.

Focusing on actually important stuff right now, they were speaking some language other than english. It didn't sound like any language I know of. It sounded vaguely German but not quite. A Scandinavian language, maybe? But pretty much all the people in those countries also speak English, so that doesn't make sense.

Let's see, given just how much I was freaking out, I doubt they'll be coming back here any time soon, so I'll look around the room for any clues as to where I am. As I get up, I wrap the blanket around me like a towel.

Upon further observation, I realize the room is completely made out of stone bricks, and has no windows. Four massive stone pillars in four corners of the room keep the ceiling propped up, and there is only one wooden door. That's the only entrance or exit I can see, and it's currently closed.

I holed up in one of the corners, so the massive pillar blocked my sight of most of the room. When I walk around it though, I see a huge circle on the floor drawn in what appears to be some sort of chalk.

Referring to it as just a circle is a bit of an understatement. It's around 10 meters in diameter, and it's design is ridiculously complex.There's all sorts of shapes within the circle and writing in a language I don't understand everywhere. There's all sorts of strange symbols as well. Some of which I recognize, most of which I don't. It's like drawing something as small as you possibly can, but over a circle 10 meters in diameter.

This must have taken weeks, probably even months to complete, even with a dozen artists all working together. I draw as a hobby, but I've never drawn something even close to how amazing this circle is… This is the biggest thing I've ever seen that has such tiny detail. I want nothing more than to look over all of it's details.

This is the center of the room right, and I woke up in the center of the room… Who the hell put me on this!? Why would you even consider putting a stupid sack of flesh on something so beautiful!? I need to see if I can watch something like this being made. I also need to see if I can yell at whoever risked smudging any of this by putting me here.

"I'm coming in! I'm alone!" While I'm in the middle of admiring this circle's beauty, I can hear a female voice from the other side of the one door. No! Go away!

The owner of the voice doesn't listen to me, and comes in anyway. She's a thin, tall woman, with a small waist and even smaller boobs. She's blonde and dressed in fantasy looking green clothing.

That's the more important part, so I force myself to stop thinking about her body. She isn't wearing anything particularly revealing so I think I can manage that. It's a bit hard to remember since I was freaking out, but I think all the men I was surrounded by were also wearing fantasy looking robes as well.

"My name is Cherilyn. Are you OK?"

I start panicking again. Oh God, I'm not used to any social interaction that isn't behind a computer screen. Oh God, what do I say? What was the question, again!? Oh no, oh no.

"Are you OK?"

"Yes…"

Phew… thank God she repeated her question… But she obviously isn't just going to leave now. Oh, God, I can feel the stress all over my body. I almost prefer the panic from earlier than the stress eating away at me now…

"I'm sure that must have been really scary for you. I've brought you a change of clothes." Cherilyn pulls out some more fantasy looking green clothes out of nowhere.

"If you'd rather be dressed while we talk, I'll leave for a bit."

Oh my God yes, please leave. I don't want to be talking to you. But how do I get that across without being rude? Oh no… The silence is getting awkward… What do I say, what do I say? I can feel my heart beating in my chest, what the hell do I say!?

"I'm just going to give you a few minutes to get changed. I'll be waiting outside, just knock on the door when you're ready, OK?" With that, Cherilyn begins leaving. Oh thank God. There's no relief, I'm still stressed, I can still hear my heart beating, oh God, I'm about to start crying again. Calm down! It's OK! She already left.

I start breathing in and out as slowly as possible. I do that for a good 30 seconds before I finally get a hold of myself. Good God, I don't want to talk to anybody ever again. But I'm going to have to… I hate this so much, why can't I just be normal?

I want to avoid going into a depressive state, so I need to keep thinking. I don't know where I am or why I'm here. Can I even trust Cherilyn? She probably isn't expecting me to take 10 minutes to put some clothes on so I'll do that first. I start to pick up the clothes that she left behind. I honestly think that they're ugly, but they'll just have to do.

As I pull out the bra though, I realize an actual problem. This bra is way too small. My boobs aren't even that big, it's just that the bra is tiny. Honestly, my boobs are hurting just thinking about putting this thing on.

Picking up all the other clothes she left me, my worries are made more legitimate. The top is long enough to pass for a dress on me (albeit an alluringly short dress), the pants are too long, and too tight around the waist, and the panties have the same problem as the bra. I guess I could try and go without underwear, but I don't have nearly enough confidence for that. I'd like to, but I'd die of embarrassment the second I step outside.

Yep, this isn't going to do, I'll have to ask Cherilyn for something else to wear. I have to ask Cherilyn for something to wear. I have to ask Cherilyn for something. I have to talk with Cherilyn. While I'm still not dressed. Uh… Oh God the stress is getting to me again… No, no, it's fine… just walk up and say the clothes don't fit… that's all you have to say. It's all you have to do so just do it.

I walk up to the door slowly. I can feel my heart beating in my chest. Come on there's nothing wrong with saying this, just do it. I get to just in front of the door, and the feeling of stress reaches its zenith. Just say it!

"Cherilyn… your clothes don't fit me."

"Really? Well you are quite a bit shorter than me… I'll go and get something smaller. I'll lock the door so just wait here."

After that I can hear the door locking and Cherilyn hurrying away. I breathe out a sigh of relief, and the stress dissipates. What replaces it is a feeling of exhilaration, similar to getting off of a good roller coaster or finishing a really hard level in a video game. Wow, I actually initiated a conversation. Aha! I feel amazing!

Woo, I'm in a good mood now, so let's try my best to figure out why I'm here. Cherilyn didn't check any of my sizes, so it should be a while before she gets back here. There doesn't appear to be any clues in here other than the circle, so I should probably start thinking about what happened before that.

Let's see, I was in the hospital because of… that. It feels like I really died there. That was the most pain I was ever in in my entire life, and I should have been beyond saving given that I didn't ask for any help. I should have been beyond saving given that nobody knew anything was wrong until I collapsed and couldn't get up. So why am I alive?

I really want to discount the possibility that I somehow survived, but I'm clearly not dead. Maybe it's something to do with that light? No, I've concluded that it was just a dream. I'll keep assuming that until something else comes along to disprove that conclusion.

Moving on, the very next thing I was aware of, was being naked in this room surrounded by men. They sounded all excited when I was first waking up, but after I freaked out they all left. I also couldn't understand a word they were saying.

I didn't recognize the language. They all looked European, so I'm either in North America or Europe. They weren't speaking Spanish or French, I know that much. I don't speak either of those languages, but I feel like I would have recognized them at least. It sounded vaguely German but not quite. Maybe some eastern European language? They didn't sound slavic though. Then again, would I really be able to recognize what sounds slavic? Probably not.

Cherilyn spoke English though. As such, she's my only source of any useful information. Whether I like it or not, I'll just have to go along with whatever she says, and listen & think carefully. I've kind of settled on eastern Europe being the main possibility as to where I am. How I got here from America, I don't have the faintest clue.

What if I'm not in eastern Europe, though? What if my instincts are right and I actually died in the hospital? I don't know how I possibly could have survived that though. Let's think for a moment. I woke up completely naked, surrounded by men who I didn't understand and appeared to be celebrating.

Is it possible that I actually died there though? How am I alive, then? An illusion created by being so close to death? Reincarnation? Having my memories implanted into an artificial body?

Illusion is unlikely. I don't think the panic I felt back there can be generated by an illusion, and I feel aware of all my surroundings. Just to make sure, I check to make sure I have ten fingers. I do. To make extra sure, I punch the wall really hard. Yeah, no way any illusion can fake this kind of pain.

Reincarnation also seems ridiculous. There's no scientific basis for a thing like that, so I can't help but find it hard to believe. What if I was summoned for some reason? Maybe the circle in the center of the room had something to do with it? Along with the light? That would explain the fantasy clothes everywhere… No, I'm considering the possibility of magic. I don't want to consider that unless I see it with my own eyes.

My memories being implanted into an artificial body seems the most likely of the three. If this is actually the far future, I have to consider that they'd have technology I can't hope to understand. Nothing really seems wrong with my body, though.

So I have four main hypotheses as to what happened to me. All incredibly unlikely.

I was human trafficked to a place where people look European, who don't speak English, nor a language I recognize from North America, where English is the norm. This is really a stretch

This is all just an illusion preceding my inevitable death. I think I've disproven this one.

I've been reincarnated into a fantasy world, with magic capable of summoning people from other worlds. This is stupid.

I actually died, and I'm just an imitation of the real me that thinks it's real. This requires the assumption that a ridiculous amount of time has passed. Would English even be recognizable by then? I don't know. So this theory has some flaws in it as well…

I'm starting to get a headache at this point, so I'm going to need to rely on Cherilyn for now in order to get any more information. I'm going to have to have a conversation with Cherilyn… No, no, I'm in a good mood, remember? Remember the feeling of adrenaline after the last conversation! Come on, you can do this!

"I'm back! Do you have the towel over you!?" I can hear Cherilyn from just behind the door. All that bravado is instantly drained and replaced by a feeling of stress and anxiety.

"Y- yes…"

"Alright, I'm coming in!" The door unlocks, and Cherilyn rolls in a whole cart filled with various kinds of clothes.

"I didn't know what size you were, so I had to resort to this. You should find something here that you like."

I look into the cart, and it's filled with clothes of all sorts of different colors and styles. They all have some sort of fantasy feel to them. Seriously, what is up with all the clothes? These would probably be super embarrassing to wear, but if everyone else is wearing this stuff I might just be able to put up with it. I also don't want Cherilyn getting annoyed with me at all, so I quickly dig around looking for something black.

"Hey, what did you do to your hand?" Cherilyn suddenly says. Huh? What's wrong with my hand, oh right, I punched the wall to test the illusion hypothesis.

"Here, let me see it." She suddenly grabs my hand. Oh my, her hands are so smooth. What lotion do you use?

Suddenly, the area around my hand that she's grabbing suddenly glows green. After that dies down, my fist suddenly feels fine, like I didn't just slam it into the wall like an idiot. I quickly retract my hand, and there's nothing there even resembling a wound.

"Better?"

"Magic…" I utter out.

"Oh right, you never would have seen this before. It's healing magic. How's your hand?" Healing magic… there's not any room for any sort of denial, that was actually magic.

So that makes the reincarnation hypothesis the most likely one. There's still the possibility that this is the far future, and that "magic" was just nanobots or something, but I don't think that's the case. Cherilyn's English is far too modern for the far future. Then does that mean that the magic circle and that light had something to do with my reincarnation?

If that's the case, then perhaps while I was stuck in that "void", I was actually dead, and some sort of magical reincarnation ritual created that light and slowly returned all my consciousness to me? That explains all the men around me as well, and why they were so excited… I'll move forwards assuming that the reincarnation hypothesis is true, but I'll also be constantly looking for things to disprove it. I don't want to assume anything.

Then again, there's the question why Cherilyn can speak English, and no one else can. If summoning is normal in this world, then maybe Cherilyn is another summon, like me? That would mean I would really have to stay close to her.

"It's fine." I answered her question. I really have to stay on her good side. Oh God, is this going to be stressful. "I'm glad to hear that. I'll wait outside until you get changed." And just like that, she leaves. The realization that I'm actually in a fantasy world has shaken me to my core, so I need to focus on calming down.

><><><><

Cherilyn and I are walking through a long hallway. It's made of a light grey stone and oak pillars. It's like walking through a medieval castle. That's because I am walking through a medieval castle.

I'm wearing a single, long black robe with intricate white embroidery that comes all the way down to my ankles. By modern standards, you'd probably consider it a dress. My arms are exposed. I'd rather cover those up as well, but the second I saw this thing I fell in love with it. I just had to wear it, nothing else would have satisfied me.

I even risked my relationship with Cherilyn in order to wear this. When she saw it, she looked concerned and told me "Are you sure you want to wear that?" The stress was immense, but it was a worthy price to pay to wear something so edgy.

"So allow me to introduce you to everything you need to know right away." Cherilyn says. I nod.

"You did die, and that ritual did resurrect you. We don't know the cause of death, or when you died, just the fact that you were dead when we summoned you." I am extremely grateful for the fact they don't know how I died. Other than that, I really need to pay attention, this is all really important information and I'm too nervous to ask her to repeat herself.

"We are summoning two more people like you today. Summons are very rare and this kingdom has no intention of summoning any more while it is still around. I'm also a summon, so if you need help with anything, come to me first." OK, my hypothesis about Cherilyn is correct. I also know there will be very few people like me. Better to find that out now rather than later.

"I have the Blessing of The Healing Spirit. One of its effects is that I'm able to communicate with anybody regardless of language barrier, so I don't have to learn any language other than english. You don't have this blessing, but I'll give you another way around the language barrier soon, so don't worry." I'd really prefer if you did that now, so I could understand a word the people around us are saying.

"Lastly, the kingdom that has summoned you is called Uclait, and you'll be meeting your fellow otherworlders today. It'll go well for you if you get along." That means more social interaction, which I really don't like. Oh God, I'm worried. The culture shock people get from traveling to different countries is insane, just what is it like between different worlds? The natives here probably have wildly different values compared to home. These two summons are probably the only two people I'm going to be remotely similar to. Not getting along with them is honestly terrifying to me…

"One more thing before we meet the first summon. You're the second summon, and the third summon is having their ritual done as we speak." OK, I'm following.

"It's just that the first summon is a male. Given how you reacted when you were summoned I'm a bit concerned you have a bit of a trauma about men. If that's the case, you don't have to meet him."

Huh? You… you thought that I was… No! That never happened! I like to imagine that sort of thing happening to me, but that's just a fantasy! If you stick a girl around a bunch of old men naked, that's just how they're going to react!

"I'll be fine…"

"Alright, as long as you don't freak out again, it'll be fine." I'm not going to freak out just because I'm around a guy! I love boys! They're the source of like, half of my nighttime fantasies!

"OK, he's just in here. After this, I'll leave to make sure the third summon goes OK." Oh, I was so preoccupied with what Cherilyn thought about me I didn't realize that we stopped walking. So I'll be introduced to this guy, and then Cherilyn is going to abandon me. I can feel my heart beating again… I gulp as Cherilyn opens the door and we both walk in.

It's a fancy waiting room with expensive looking furniture everywhere. Waiting on one of the loveseats, is a young man with blonde hair and blood red eyes. He looks quite a bit taller than me and his clothes are- wait. Blood red eyes!? Huh!? Nothing like that existed in my old world! Well, I guess some albinos had red eyes, but that was incredibly rare! You don't go around seeing that everyday! And this dude is blonde! His hair isn't anywhere near white!

And now he's looking at me like I look strange!? My eyes are hazel, an actually normal color, you don't have any right to stare at me like that! If you keep staring at me like that I won't be able to do anything because I'm too embarrassed! Stop it, please! Please look anywhere else!

"OK, you two get along, OK? I'll be heading over to the third summon now, excuse me." With that, Cherilyn closes the door and leaves me in here with the blood eyes guy.

He's finally turned his head away from me. I try my best to not put too much thought into whatever that means and sit down in one of the chairs in the room. I look down at my feet while he stares off into space. Neither of us seem to intend on starting any sort of conversation. The silence makes me really uncomfortable but I'm not sure talking with him would be much better.

No, no, no, this is going all wrong. If I can't get along with either of them, I might actually cry. Please, God, let the other one be easier to get along with.

><><><><

It takes a while but Cherilyn finally comes back with someone else. He looks my height, which is kind of short for a guy, which I love. But other than that, his appearance really catches my eye. His hair is black, except for a white patch of hair over his left side of his forehead. Along with that, he has heterochromia. I absolutely adore heterochromia. His right eye is blood red, like the first summon's, and his left is snow white.

Cherilyn started saying something but I wasn't listening. I'm too busy imagining what a cute boy like him would have looked like naked. We spawn in with no clothes, right? And surrounded by men… Oh… such a cute boy surrounded by such lustful men… how- No! Stop it! I'm sure he was super scared when he woke up, stop fetishizing it! There isn't anything else to focus on, so I look at his eyes again.

"Heterochromia." I say as I worry that I'm being a bit creepy staring into his eyes like this. It might be a bit rude to be frightened by the first's eyes yet so utterly enchanted by this guy's but I don't care. Cherilyn looks a bit shocked that I said anything. I guess I never said anything to her other than that her clothes didn't fit me, so I can't blame her for that.

"Heterochromia?" He looks legitimately confused.

"When your eyes are different colors."

"Yeah, I know that, what about it?"

"Your eyes are different colors."

"Huh, they are?" What? Does he legitimately not know what color his own eyes are?

"Yes, they are." That was the first thing I heard the first summon say. At least he's backing me up on this.

"Oh, right. I forgot about that." At that one comment from Cherilyn all six of our eyes focused on Cherilyn. Just what did you forget? This seems like it's really important.

"Will you all stop staring at me like that? I just forgot that the summoning ritual ends up changing the summon's appearance. My green eyes got a lot brighter when I got summoned, after all."

Huh!? Does that mean the cute boy doesn't know he looks so edgy!? And that blood eyes guy doesn't know he has blood eyes!? Wait, is that also why he was staring at me when we first met!? What do I look like!?

"Is that why she was staring at me!? What do I look like!? Give me a mirror!" Blood eyes guy sounded just as stressed out about it as I did.

"I have heterochromia now!? Give me a mirror! Give me a mirror!" The cute boy sounds really excited. He seemed really happy that he had heterochromia, and he knew what it was. Maybe he enjoys it as much as I do?

Cherilyn somehow pulls three silver mirrors out of nowhere. They look really expensive, is it really OK to give us those so casually? We all take them anyway, though, and oh my God I look absolutely beautiful.

I always had a pretty positive opinion of my appearance in my past life, so much so I'd spend a worrying amount of time looking in the mirror. I was obsessed with eyes, specifically. It wasn't that I absolutely loved my eyes, it's just that I absolutely love how eyes look close up, and mine were the only ones I could look into. Hazel's a pretty OK color, but the color of my eyes now were so much better.

Purple.

One of my favorite colors, second only to black. They looked so deep and majestic, I was absolutely obsessed. My hair too, it also looked amazing. My hair had gone from a dark brown to a pitch black. And when I say pitch black, I mean so pitch black you can't actually discern any texture from it. If you've ever seen any 3d objects painted in "blackest black" paint, that's exactly what my hair looks like, and I love it.

The cute boy seems to be equally as obsessed with his new appearance as me. I wouldn't have minded getting heterochromia as well, but I'm not sure what color would have gone well with the black and purple color scheme I have. The robes I picked out are amazing for my new appearance though! I love this! Blood eyes guy doesn't seem to like his blood eyes, but I'm too busy thinking about how attractive me & the cute boy are to care.

"I look so cool!" The cute boy started.

"I'm so jealous of your eyes…" I replied.

"And I'm jealous of your hair! Look at how cool it looks!"

"Your hair isn't too bad either. I'd prefer my appearance, but I wouldn't mind switching with you."

"Me neither, but purple isn't really my color. It looks really good on you though!"

"You too. The red & white eyes, I mean."

We were completely leaving blood eyes guy & Cherilyn out of the conversation, but I didn't care. It's been so long since I've been able to hold a legitimately enjoyable conversation with anyone like this. I honestly just want to talk with Kiaran about how cool and edgy we look. Talking about this kind of stuff feels so amazing!

"I love how short you are too! And how slim your shoulders are. I love that kind of build on guys."

"Really?" Oh, you have no idea just how much I love guys with that kind of build…

"I was kind of hoping that if my body was changing I'd end up taller."

"Why would you want to be taller, you look so cute!" If it was just a few minutes earlier, I wouldn't have been caught dead saying that, but it flows out of my lips like it's the most natural thing to say now.

"Th- thank you…" Ahhhhh! The way he blushed when I called him cute! So adorable! I'm obsessed! I don't want this conversation to end!