First Day in Heafdes

I can hear all sorts of talking. I'm walking down a busy city street, and I can see all sorts of things unthinkable in my last life. There are carriages being led not by horses, but by giant bipedal flightless birds, and giant lizards. There are also all kinds of different fantasy races around. It's mostly humans but there are also beastmen everywhere, as well as some people with more than 2 arms, horns and all sorts of different things. Looking closely, you can even make out the occasional elf.

Me and the cute boy are both having the time of our lives, but blood eyes guy doesn't seem interested in the slightest. Doesn't anything interest you!? Oh, by the way, I'm walking with blood eyes and the cute boy. We've kind of just been walking around not doing anything or talking to each other at all. We talked for a bit after we got thrown out but it's been all silence after that.

Even if we are getting nowhere, it's a welcome change of pace from that dreadfully stressful decision in the throne room and what happened right after we had gotten thrown out. Thinking back on it…

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We've just left the castle. The city we're in is a truly massive one. It looks medieval and I can't see the edge of where all the buildings end. How many people live here? It could easily be over a million, in fact I think it is. Not that I'd heard that from anywhere, it's just my guess from how massive the city was. I haven't heard its name either. I think it's the capital given the king is here, and the massive castle we just got kicked out of but I'm not even sure about that.

The blood eyes guy and the cute boy are both with me. Now we're going to go and have to go and figure out how to survive in a city we don't even know the name of. We can communicate with people, and we were left with a large sum of money at least. Although we were left with 325 silver coins and we have no idea how much that's worth. There's also the fact that we don't know how to read & write and can only communicate through a magic orb that we have no idea how long will last.

"I'm sorry…" I say to the two of them. If I just agreed to study under Iryis I probably could've given them so much help, but I turned it down. Everything right now is going to revolve around asking around for information and getting a foundation secured. I can't do any of that. I could've helped them so much, but then I went down the path I knew I was useless at. Why do I have to be so stupid?

"H- hey, are you crying? What's wrong?" The cute boy walks up to me. I just realized that I had started to cry.

"I'm sorry. I'm so useless…"

"Huh? What are you talking about?" I've realized that this boy isn't very intelligent as well. That doesn't bode well for a possible future relationship with him.

"I turned down Iryis… I could have helped you guys so much if I just said yes, but I didn't…"

"What about it? I'm glad I'll be able to spend more time with you."

"You… you aren't angry?"

"Huh? Why would I be?"

"I can't talk to anybody. Whenever I do I get so stressed out and worry that I'm going to say something wrong."

"You talked with me fine earlier today."

"That was different."

"Then I'll do all the talking, OK?"

"I don't want to be a burden."

"Then we'll just figure out something you can do. We're supposed to grow super fast, right? I'm sure there's something you can do." Yeah, yeah, right. We're otherworlders capable of growing super fast compared to everybody else. There is the issue of how magic works, but that's why I turned Iryis down. Compared to the stress of being in that throne room, surely everything else is fine by comparison? OK, OK, I can do this.

"So we're going to be looking after each other, right?"

"Yeah."

"Can I know your name then?" Oh right, we still don't know each other's names. We're going to be travelling with each other for quite a bit, so we really should know each other's names.

"Of course, my name is K-"

"Are you guys done? I spent a bit looking around and I think I have an idea of where to go." The Blood Eyes guy suddenly interrupted us. That's kind of rude, isn't it? We're talking about something super important.

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So we've been walking through the city for quite a while, and none of us have said a word to each other.

"Hey, I thought you said you knew where to go?" The cute boy voices my concerns. I'm still calling him the cute boy. I really need to know his name, but I'm not sure when to ask. Whenever I'm about to, I get a feeling of nervousness throughout my whole body.

"I said I had an idea of where to go, not that I knew where to go."

"Yeah, but we still followed you because we thought you knew what you were doing."

"I do know what I'm doing. We're walking around the market place right now, right? I'm planning on asking where we can find an inn, and just how much our money is worth." Oh, that's actually a really good idea. Forget what I said earlier, I trust you now, blood eyes guy. I also need to learn his name, but he seems fairly unapproachable.

"Then why don't you do it?"

"It was far livelier than I was expecting. I'm not sure when to butt in."

"So we're looking for inns and how much our money is worth, right?"

"Yes."

"And we have 325 silver coins, right?"

"Also yes."

After getting his confirmation, the cute boy just walks up to a random merchant, completely interrupting another conversation. "I'm sorry, but do you happen to know of any inns near here?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah-" and just like that he starts a full on conversation about local inns, quality of the rooms and how much they cost. He also managed to figure out that 325 silver coins will last us a month at one of the average inns around here.

"So, did you guys catch all that, or do I have to explain?"

"No, don't bother. I heard that the Triple Rainbow Inn had good quality rooms for the price. Does anybody mind if we head there?" I don't see anything wrong with the blood eyes guy's suggestion so I shake my head no.

"Nope, no prob." is the cute boy's cringey reply. After that we follow the merchant's directions and head to the inn.

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The inside of the inn is a very large place. It's a large wooden room with a front desk and tables & chairs scattered around. The wall opposite of the entrance is where the front desk is, as well as a large wooden door, presumably leading to where all the rooms are. Blood eyes guy walks up to the guy at the front desk and begins asking for a room.

"Hello, I need a room for three?"

"For three? Give me a moment." The innkeeper pulls a large sheet of paper from underneath the desk.

"Let's see, room 08 has three open slots."

"Slots?"

"Yeah, three slots. Room 08 has two beds that can hold 3 people each."

"So… we'll be sharing this room with three other people? And the three of us will be sharing a bed?"

"Of course. You don't travel very much, do you?"

"Sorry, but no. Pardon my ignorance."

Oh no. Ohh no. I do not like this one bit. Then the blood eyes guy looks back at me. "Is that going to be OK?"

Huh? What? He's asking me if I'm going to be fine? Do I… do I look that nervous around people? I mean, he has a point, but the fact that he's actually worrying about me upsets me. I'd honestly rather not share a room with total strangers but I don't want to be a burden even more.

"It's fine."

Blood eyes guy looks back at the innkeeper. "We're looking to stay a week. How much will that be?"

"Let's see… 3 slots, 7 days, 21 charges, 2 silvers & 6 coppers per charge, comes out to...57 silvers and 6 coppers!"

"Oh… will 58 silvers be OK?"

"Yeah, sure, let me just get your change."

"Change? So we'll be paying up front?"

"Yes? Is that a problem?"

"No, not at all."

With that, the blood eyes guy started counting out 58 silver coins, and was handed two copper coins in exchange. After that we went and found our room. It was a bit like a normal hotel room except the room was quite small and the beds were bigger. There was no desk or anything, just one small room with two large beds.

Whoever else is staying in this room hasn't left anything behind that's super valuable. The beds are also made, maybe room service. Anyway, it doesn't really appear that there's anybody else staying in this room right now. What's worrying me is that there is no bathroom. I'm honestly really worried about what this medieval level society considers a bathroom. There's also another problem that comes along with there being no bathroom.

"Where am I supposed to change?" As soon as I say that, the blood eyes guy and the cute boy suddenly get really worried. Did you two just remember that we have to change clothes every now and then? And that I'm the only girl in this group?

"Um… that's a good question," the blood eyes guy begins. "What's this country's stance on that kind of thing? Maybe that's not something you'd bother to hide?" Oh God I hope not. That would just be too much.

"I mean, I could ask… if that's the case though what are we supposed to do about her? I mean we'd be fine changing around each other since we're both guys, but she's not…" Says the cute boy

Ooh… Imagining the cute boy changing in front of blood eyes guy and saying "we're both guys, right?" is making me feel a certain sort of way… No! Focus!

"Please ask." I say, and just like that cute boy's out of the room, presumably going to go ask where we're meant to change. Oh how I envy your ability to ask questions everybody should already know the answer to.

After a bit, he came back. "We're meant to change in the room. Apparently nudity in this country isn't a sexual thing at all."

And just like that my worst nightmare is confirmed.

"Um, what are we meant to do about that then? She's clearly not going to be OK with that." Blood eyes guy says.

"I'm sorry, if I only had a bit more confidence this wouldn't be an issue…"

"That isn't something you should apologize for." Blood eyes guy says

"Yeah, we'll just leave the room whenever you're changing. Let's just hope the other three people we're sharing the room with don't get in the way." the cute boy follows up. I mean, as long as they're not angry with me, I guess I'll be fine.

Their opinions aside, this is clearly going to be a problem. This isn't home, this is a completely different country, different world, even. I'm going to have to get used to the social norms of this country eventually. If I'm really serious about learning magic, I'll really have to get out of my comfort zone.

Being naked around people makes me really nervous… but exhibitionism is an interest of mine. That doesn't mean I can just not freak out whenever I'm exposed around other people. It's probably going to be something like the conversations I've been having. Super stressed out before and during, feel all excited and fuzzy inside immediately after. Yeah, thinking of it like that makes all this so much easier.

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"Hey, are you sure you're OK with this?"

"I'm fine. You're doing all the talking. I'll just be listening."

"Well OK then." I'm walking with the cute boy throughout the city now. Blood eyes guy is running around job hunting because he was super adamant on us having some sort of source of income.

While he's doing that, we agreed that the cute boy would go around gathering the most basic of information. The date, the year, the name of the city, if any kinds of monsters exist in this world etc. He plans on achieving this by walking up to random people on the street and just asking them those questions.

My job is to listen to this and put up with it. In case you hadn't noticed already, I have a real crippling case of social anxiety. In order to try and fix this, I'm following the cute boy around and listening to him ask random people what the year is. The second hand embarrassment will probably drive me insane, but I'll have to put up with it for now.

Hopefully the sheer embarrassment will help me forge connections to perform magic later, as well as exposing myself around strangers. Compared to what happened in the castle, this exercise should be nothing, right?

"Uh, hey, excuse me, what day is it?"

"Huh? It's the 26th." Is how the first conversation begins.

"Of what month?"

"What?"

"Of what month?"

"Um, Beltane?"

"No, month."

"The month is Beltane!"

The cringe rocks me to my core. Oh God I hate this, why did I insist on following you around again? But that's useful information I guess. Their months are different from our months, we'll have to keep that in mind.

"OK, so the month's Beltane… would you mind telling me the year?"

"What's wrong with you? Did someone rattle your brain too hard in a duel?"

"Yes, actually. Can't remember a thing." The guy he's talking to looks noticeably upset after hearing that.

"Oh really, I'm sorry to hear that. I apologize for being so rude, something similar happened to my little brother actually, so I hope you'll accept my apology."

Huh!? That's something that happens regularly!? How is this country even still standing if that's the case!? Thinking back, Cherilyn did say this country respected strength. Maybe everyone here is a muscle brained moron?

The king looked really strong, too. Maybe the reason he survived Nilus' slaughter was because he was strong enough to fend him off? I'm kind of basing his strength off of his clothes though, and those seem like the kind of things a ruler of such a country would wear, even if they weren't all that strong. Not enough information to work with, so I'll put it aside for now.

"So, would you mind telling me the year, then?"

"Of course not, it's 856. Anything else you need to know?"

"No, that's all for now, sorry for taking your time." "Oh, don't worry about it."

And with that, we're off walking somewhere else. "So it's the 26th of "Beltane", and the year is 856."

"Also he totally believed you when you said you lost your memories in a duel. Maybe we could keep using that excuse?"

"Yeah, I think so too. I'm kind of playing the part of a huge idiot right now, so that could really work with that." You don't say…

"Oh, the months are different! Maybe the days of the week are different too." Oh right, I hadn't thought of that.

"But the innkeeper mentioned there being 7 days in a week, so that hasn't changed."

"Yeah, but I should probably ask anyway, hey, sir! Sir!" Oh God, at least give me a heads up before you do this!

"Hey, can you tell me what the days of the week are?"

"What?"

"What the days of the week are."

"...Is this some sort of prank?"

"I just dueled somebody and hit my head really badly, now I can't remember what the days of the week are."

"That must've been a hell of a duel then."

"Yeah, can't even remember what it was about, can you help me out here, then?"

"Yeah, of course-"

This process goes on for a while. Me and the cute boy suddenly thinking of a new, super basic thing we should know, him just asking some random guy on the street, me cringing, him giving the "hit my head in a duel" excuse and everybody being super understanding about that and telling him everything he asked to know.

The summary for the information we've gathered so far goes like this: The calendar this country and the surrounding ones use has 8 months which each have anywhere from 45 to 47 days. This city's name is Heafdes, and it is indeed the capital. There are all sorts of monsters in this world, including dragons. The names of the surrounding countries are the Aflian empire, Blulia, Eshea, as well as the pseudo states referred to as Monster Country & the Demon Lord's territory.

We admittedly spent way too long asking around about the Demon Lord. The only really important takeaways from that were that both demons and angels existed in this world, and this "Demon Lord" wasn't one of them for some reason. Also, apparently Uclait invaded the Demon Lord's territory a couple of years back and over a million people died. Cherilyn also seemed to have been involved in this.

Getting back on track, we learned the names of all the Royal Selection candidates and their basic backgrounds. Rhectia Royther is a general who commands troops at the border of the Aflian empire, Alibas is a historian & demihuman, Ebenel is a dryad who lives in the "Great Ulfur Forests", Amiel Leon is a noble & adventurer, Pitiful Girl is an escaped slave who led a slave rebellion in the Emednes mountains to the east, and Raphael Kaer seems to just be a normal guy.

That's about the most important stuff.

"The sun's about to set. We should meet with blood eyes guy now." I say. We did agree to eat at sunset, and I'm starving.

"Blood eyes guy?" Oh no, I never said this to the cute boy before.

"Is that what you've been calling the blonde in your head?" I turn away from the cute boy out of embarrassment.

"Y- yes…"

"Huh, I've just been thinking of him as 'The blonde'. Your nickname is a whole lot cooler than mine."

"T- thanks…"

"Huh, we still don't know each other's names, right? We were about to tell each other but then 'blood eyes guy' interrupted us. Yours started with a K, right?" He started calling him 'blood eyes guy'. And he remembered what my name started with.

"I've been calling you 'void hair', what have you been calling me?" Oh no. I don't realize it at the time, but I start blushing and messing with my hair.

"C- cute boy…"

"Huh!? Really? You honestly think I'm that cute?"

"Y- yes…"

"Well, we obviously can't keep calling each other void hair and cute boy. We should get to know each other's actual names before 'blood eyes guy' interrupts us again."

Yeah, I guess we should. Wait, we don't know each other's names, and we still have no idea what each other's previous lives were like. That gives us an opportunity. Will he like my idea, though? Of course, he would totally be into that sort of thing, but it's still making me nervous. Let me just make sure.

"H- hey… before we do that, can I ask a bit of a… personal question?"

"Hm? Personal question? Sure."

"Did you… did you enjoy your last life?" The cute boy freezes at the question. Yeah, that's a really difficult question, isn't it?

"I don't know? Not really, I didn't hate it either though. I kind of just wasted up until I died. I was kind of just there. Even calling it 'my life' is a bit strange to me." Alright, that's all I need to know. I shouldn't pry further.

"It was the same for me. I wasted all my time. I had so many great ideas and so many things I wanted to do and experience but I did nothing. I had so much time yet I wasted it all away. Honestly I can't help but hate myself because of it." The cute boy remains silent. I really shouldn't be dumping all of this on him, I need to change the subject.

"Well at least you actually had anything you wanted to do. Now that you died once though you won't waste another life, right?" He says to me before I can.

"That's what I wanted to talk about. Even if we didn't choose this, let's not waste our new lives, OK?"

"Of course."

"So then… let's just leave our past lives behind."

"What?"

"My past life was full of nothing but procrastination and failure. I don't want to be associated with the 'me' of that life. So since no one knows my name in this world, how about I just take another name instead?"

Cute boy remains silent at my proposal. "How about we just forget our old names, if they're nothing but connections to lives full of wasted potential?"

"Alright! I get what you're saying! I like it!" Oh thank God he's OK with it.

"Alright then, for now on I'll be… Kiaran! Kiaran is fine, right!?"

"Of course, I quite like it." Alright, cute boy is Kiaran now! I'm so happy this is actually happening!

"Alright, call me Azariah from now on. OK, Kiaran"

"Of course! Nice to meet you, Azariah!"

Aaaaahhh! This is making me so happy! Alright! My name is pretty much officially Azariah now! No one in this world knows my old name! I'm a completely new me! No more procrastination! No more not asking for help! I'm going to be a real go-getter in this life! No one will ever have to know just how much of a miserable failure I was in the last one!

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When we got back to the restaurant next to the inn we're staying at, Kiaran (I still love calling him that!) explained to the blood eyes guy what we were talking about. I was actually super nervous, since he seemed to be much more adult than the rest of us.

"So that's what you were doing, huh? Alright I didn't like my old life all too much either. I'll be Aubrey then." I was super nervous but he just went along with it. Kiaran started to tell him it was a girl's name but Aubrey insisted it was gender neutral. That was a conversation which I really enjoyed listening to, by the way.

After that we started eating. There was pretty much nothing on the menu that I ate in my own world. I guess that makes sense. The food in a post industrial, consumerist society would be a whole lot different than the food in a medieval one, even if it has magic. Would the magic even make the food more similar? It might have the opposite effect and cause this world's pallet to diverge. I'll think about this later.

Anyway our food eventually comes. Kiaran and Aubrey are both sharing an apple pie and I'm having chicken-mushroom skewers. I haven't tried any kinds of mushrooms at all in my past life. Not by themselves, not on pizza, and certainly not with chicken. Since I'm Azariah now, I want Azariah to be someone who isn't afraid of trying a new food.

I figure if I don't like the mushrooms I can just pick the chicken off of the skewers and eat that. I have a lot of experience eating chicken nuggets no matter what restaurant I go to, after all. Unexpectedly, I actually really love it. I ended up licking all the skewers clean because I found it so delicious. Kiaran was staring at me, as I started sucking on the skewers like some other long, cylindrical object, which gave me some really conflicted feelings.

I was actually still kind of hungry after I had three of those things, so I ended up eyeing Kiaran & Aubrey's apple pie. Kiaran offered me one of his slices which I gratefully accepted. I never tried apple pie in my last life either, but I did love apples. Sure enough, I absolutely loved it. It was finally enough to satisfy me too, which I really appreciated.

"So, how much did you figure out?" Aubrey asked, after we finally got the bill. Kiaran mostly explained everything, and I only bumped in during topics I found super interesting. It mostly felt like I was getting in the way, but I think I know Kiaran well enough for him to not get annoyed at me for something like this.

"Alright, I see. So copper coins to silver coins are 8 to 1, huh? Wooden coins to coppers are 16 to 1… The inn fare is 57 silvers and 6 coppers per week. This dinner is 4 silvers and 2 coppers in total. This is a pretty expensive restaurant. If we assume that eating cheaper and having to eat 3 meals a day instead of 1 like today cancel each other out we'll be spending…"

Aubrey starts going off about money. The math is a bit difficult, but it isn't anything I can't do.

"87 silvers and 4 coppers…" I say.

"Are you sure that's right?" Um… I think? I hope so.

"Yes." I say. Please be right, please be right, I can't think of anything that might have gone wrong. Maybe when I was adding the food cost to the inn fare? No, that's just basic addition.

"Alright, we'll go with Azariah's calculations. I'm not good at mental math. I'll work it out on paper later, but we'll use Azariah's math as a substitute for now. My job pays me 2 silver coins per day, assuming I work the full day. That's 14 silvers for a whole week assuming I work a full day everyday of the week. That brings our weekly expenses down to… 73 silvers and 4 coppers, assuming no other expenses."

So yeah, we're kind of burning through our limited money right now, which isn't good. Assuming that Aubrey doesn't get a raise or a higher paying job, me and Kiaran are going to have to earn 73 silvers and 4 coppers between us, and that's just to break even while only spending money on food & shelter.

"Me and Azariah will just enroll in the adventurer's guild then!"

"Absolutely not!" Wow, that's the first time I've heard Aubrey raise his voice.

"Aw, come on! Why not?!"

"You said there was a fee for joining right? You also figured out that you can only start doing high paying jobs with a great deal of experience, right? It will be forever before you start earning anything."

"But we're otherworlders, right? We should grow insanely fast. It won't be that long before we get high paying jobs."

"You said 'experience', not 'results'. The natives' idea of experience will be centered around them, not rare otherworlders."

"I agree with Aubrey, Kiaran."

"Azariah!" Kiaran yells out in betrayal.

"Think about this. We'll need a bunch of armor, equipment, potions, and magic books if we start getting serious about that sort of thing. That's all sure to be expensive. Since we aren't making a profit, we can't risk an expense like that. We need to have a stable foundation first."

"Wow, I really wasn't expecting that out of you, Azariah." Wow, Aubrey complimented me, this feels strange.

"I… I was supposed to move out of my parent's house soon when I died… I'm not arrogant enough to think I was going to be able to buy anything I wanted right out of high school."

"Parent's house? High school? How old are you, Azariah?" Aubrey sounds really worried for some reason.

"I'm 17."

"17!? You lived to 17?" Right, I guess it does sound kind of tragic if you put it that way. But Kiaran & Aubrey are around the same age as me, right?

"What about you, Kiaran?" Aubrey says.

"Oh, I'm 15."

"15? You both died so young… just how did you two die?" Umm… Oh no, I don't want to talk about that. Aubrey takes one look at my face and then he looks like he regretted what he said. Am I that easy to read?

"I'm sorry, that was a very insensitive thing to ask. I died at 23, and my death was… I was just confused at how you two died so young…" You're really young too, aren't you?

"Oh, don't worry about it, I got run over by a truck."

"Huh?" That nonchalant attitude about his own death really catches Aubrey and I off guard.

"Yeah, I was crossing the street, it didn't stop and next thing I knew I woke up here."

"You literally got isekaid by truck-kun…" is my response.

I was about to freak out since I said something so cringey, but Kiaran got the meme, thank God. We joked around about it for a bit, which I found enjoyable but Aubrey was looking at us in horror as we were joking about Kiaran's death which kind of killed the enjoyment for me.

"Come on Aubrey, don't look at us like that. My death was instant. Like I told you, I saw the truck coming for me, then I woke up naked in front of a bunch of men and women."

"Huh? There were women with you when you woke up?"

"Yeah, me too." Why did Kiaran & Aubrey get to wake up next to women too?

"A bunch of them were really cute too… Since I was naked I kind of thought I woke up in heaven." Huh!? Why did you get to wake up in front of a bunch of attractive women, and I got stuck with a bunch of crusty, middle aged men!?

"What about the men?" I ask. I need to know.

"Well, I'm not into men, but I think you might have a thing for them. About half of them had the same build as me."

Huh!? Why did you get such a good spawn!? Oh what I would've done to have woken up naked surrounded by a bunch of cute men and women… Actually, Cherilyn's kind of my type in the body department, and I was still terrified of her, so maybe I would've reacted the same way…

Still though, imagining myself completely stripped down and surrounded by young men and women staring at me with their lustful gazes is exciting me to no end… Imagine if one of the men told me 'your body is so captivating, even women want to have their way with you, so can you really blame me?' Aaahh! I want it! I want it! I want it!

"Kiaran, that's enough, you're clearly making her uncomfortable."

"What? But she's blushing?"

"Yeah, because you're oversharing, right Azariah?" Oh no, don't put me on the spot like that. Admitting that fantasy is far too embarrassing. Sorry, Kiaran, take one for the team, please.

"Y - yes…"

"See? Now stop it."

Kiaran & Aubrey start arguing about something but I'm not listening. I'm still too busy imagining a large group of cute men & women having their way with me. I'll really have to get some time to myself later tonight… to think long and hard about that…

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It's night by the time we get back to our room. The 3 people we're sharing the room with were already there. I honestly forgot about them so I was super nervous. They were just ignoring us, but Kiaran & Aubrey managed to convince them to all sleep in one bed for my sake. Thanks, you two!

After a while, we all go to bed. Aubrey and I sleep on the far ends of the bed and Kiaran sleeps in the middle. We don't change clothes, because we don't have anything else to wear. I really need to take a bath when I get the chance.

On a similar note, the bathrooms were surprisingly clean. Apparently water magic washes all the waste away. There's even a sewer system. I've heard it's more stereotypically medieval when you get away from all the large cities though, which I'm not looking forward to. This is important because I was able to "relieve" myself to that fantasy in the bathroom earlier, which I found incredibly enjoyable.

Kiaran's sleeping next to me now. I was a huge night owl in my old life so I'm still wide awake. Man, he's so cute, even when he's sleeping. It turned out he was a huge weeb, so we've really been bonding over that. I'm really loving everything about him.

I love the way he speaks, I love his build, I love his hair, I love his eyes, we have the same general interests, I'm so envious of how easily he handles himself around other people. I really want to be with him, and just him. I know why I feel this way.

It isn't because Kiaran's so amazing, it's because he's the first friend I've had since elementary school. His basic kindness is the kindest anyone's ever been to me in a while, and my feelings are adjusting accordingly. This level of obsession can't be healthy in a relationship though, so I'll try my best not to pursue anything. Although ending up with a guy just because he showed me basic kindness like I was some sort of badly written female character excites me in its own way…

Getting that obsessed is really creepy though, so I'll have to try and keep myself in check. If I lost this friendship because he found out that I'm actually a freak that can't stop thinking about people's naked bodies for five minutes, I think I'd actually cry. Oh boy, do I want to keep spending time with him, though. Just hanging around somebody of the opposite gender isn't creepy, right?