Kári's Cult

In Uclait, nudity isn't considered sexual. It stands to reason then, that there would be no reason to have a tradition of bathing privately. Bathing, if done at all, would be done in public, without any shame, because the people of this country do not feel as if they have anything to hide. This is an issue.

Coming from a country from a different world where this isn't the case, it's sure to generate a lot of culture shock. Especially someone of my… uh, disposition. This is made even worse by the fact that baths in Uclait are rarely, if ever separated by gender. This is even worse for someone of my disposition.

So not only do I have to worry about the embarrassment from being naked around strangers, I also have to worry about getting way too… attracted to the people I find attractive. I keep trying to tell myself that since it's clearly normal in this country there won't be any issue but I can't get past the feeling of uncomfortableness. I always end up getting way too entranced in their bodies before being completely disgusted with myself that I'm actually doing something really creepy.

This is honestly a shame. Not only is it difficult to bathe, but it genuinely seems fun to hang around the communal baths. The water is always warm, there's showers, everybody is really friendly with each other, I wish I could stay there for a while. How is the water warm, magic? How do the showers work? I really want to stay long enough to find out, but I always just rush in, do the bare minimum of cleaning, then hurry up and leave. All while keeping my eyes shut for 90% of the visit.

I don't think it's ever going to be something I'll get used to. I wonder how Kiaran and Aubrey are adjusting to it? Do they have a similar reaction to mine, having to bathe around naked women? Imagine Kiaran eyeing up- no, no, stop it. Hurry up. Run in, get clean, get dressed, and then head to work. Don't think about that sort of thing. What are you going to do if anybody catches you?

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The days pass by. Given our conflicting schedules, I don't see Kiaran or Aubrey anymore before they're already asleep, which makes me feel really lonely. So Lucidna as well as a few of the particularly sociable Librarians at my job are the only people I have any sort of friendly relationship with.

Work at the library goes easily, as long as I don't have to talk to anybody. There's all sorts of looping hallways and secret passageways that lead to impossible locations within the library, which absolutely set me off, but Lucidna always scolds me if I walk into any of those on purpose without her permission.

Other than that, she always makes sure to keep our studies on track. She keeps me on a strict schedule of studying two hours under her everyday during the third shift which we share. She also tells me to study three hours during the fourth shift whenever I get the chance. For good measure I add another hour just after I get up from bed. I'm not doing anything else, and I refuse to fall into procrastination like I did again and again during my past life.

Days go by like this, and my lack of progress becomes frustrating. Exploring the library during the fourth shift when Lucidna isn't around to scold me helps keep me going. Also, getting to talk about the layout of the library with random strangers asking for directions turned out to be really fun! Getting to talk about all the spatial anomalies that I've found with anybody at all is honestly the best.

More days pass, and the novelty still hasn't worn off, but it still isn't enough to get my frustration out. I've begun to feel mentally fatigued all day, and it's really been slowing me down during my studies. I want to put in more work to counteract this but I'm far too tired to do so. Eventually, around two weeks into my job at the Figment Library, I managed to read a basic children's book to Lucidna without any major grammar mistakes.

"Good, you're improving rapidly." Lucidna tells me, immediately following this success.

"That's only because you're keeping such a tight eye on me… If I was left to my own devices I would have slacked off and made it nowhere near this far…"

It's a pretty calm day at the library. We're sitting in the basement where a bunch of the more magical books are. Bookshelves line the walls and there's even those rolling latter things you can use to grab really high up books. Lucidna and I are studying behind the check out desk for this section. It's been about two weeks since I got this job, and Lucidna's kept a close eye on me ever since, making sure I'm improving at a constant pace.

"That is certainly true. However, there's no need to be so hard on yourself. Your desire to learn is real & powerful. It's simply your work ethic that needs improving. After this time with me, I suggest you keep up the schedule I work you on. That should help."

"Thank you, I don't deserve you, Lucidna." "It's Librarian Von Stein, when we're working, Assistant Azariah."

"Y- yes, of course! I apologize, ma'am!"

"OK, back to your studies. Have you been practicing for the three hours I told you to during the 4th shift, when I'm not around?"

"Yes ma'am. And an extra hour at home too."

"And you've been doing this for the past two weeks straight?"

"Yes ma'am."

"I see. Since you study two hours under me every day, that's six hours per day. Are you sure you aren't burnt out?"

"Yes ma'am."

"What a troubling student you are." What? I'm not entirely sure what to make of this line by Lucidna.

"So that would mean you've been studying 84 hours the past two weeks. And you're already at an elementary level… You can probably get away with taking a break now."

"No!" At that scream, Lucidna looks surprised at me before she shushes me and whispers in my ear.

"This is a library, Azariah. There are still people here." Oh… oh right… Looking around, the five or so people down here are all staring at me… Oh God, I'm getting stressed again…

"Anyway, explain your answer. You're already reading and writing basic sentences and expressions in just two weeks. Surely you deserve a break now?" The answer to that problem is a bit complicated. In my old life, I used to be able to get in the zone when it came to writing or drawing. Whenever I stopped or took a break though, all that motivation would disappear, and I'd never touch what I was working on ever again. The same goes for when I had a schedule. Even when I was keeping to an incredibly easy one, the moment I took a day's break, I'd never get back onto that schedule again. That's why I've been so careful to never stop studying this time around. It's because I know the moment I do, I won't start again.

"I don't deserve it… If I take a break I'll never make any progress…" Lucidna leaves me in a very awkward silence before continuing.

"Alright, I think I get it now. Azariah, when I asked you if you were burnt out earlier, you were lying, right?" I remain silent at Lucidna's question.

"I see, you truly feel as though you don't deserve any rest. Keep going like this and you'll collapse under the stress. I believe you would know a thing or two about that, given how freaked out you were when we first met."

"I really don't need to rest. It's been two whole weeks, and I'm still only able to read books made for toddlers."

"That's on track with the fastest pace people learn." Lucidna raises her voice again, and I look away. Lucidna sighs and starts back up again.

"I get it, I really do. You really want to learn to read and write so you can get on to learning magic. You also really want to learn to communicate without that communication orb, and you feel as if you're progressing so slow you don't deserve any rest. You feel as if everything will work itself out if you push yourself harder, however your mind needs rest as much as your body does. Push yourself too hard and you break."

So far, Lucidna's reading me like an open book- wait, communication orb?

"What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?" Am I staring at Lucidna weird? I guess I am, if it prompted that reaction from her.

"I never mentioned the communication orb…"

"Oh… did you really think you were hiding it? It doesn't translate what you're saying, just conveys the meaning behind it. I know you're speaking some foreign language, but I can understand the meaning behind your words. It's harder not to notice than to notice, honestly."

That's right! I noticed that when I first started using this thing! I only recently started to understand the exact words people were saying because I was learning their language. Of course it would be like that the other way around, why hadn't I thought of that?!

"I've noticed you try and get across simple sentences while turning it off. By the way, you speak in an incredibly childish manner when you have it off." Huh!? Do I!?

"You're basing your speech off of the children's books I'm having you read. Luckily for you, the meaning that gets conveyed with the communication orb on, and my manner of speech are very similar. Feel free to use the way I speak as a template."

"Th- thank you… Lucid- Librarian Von Stein."

"Now do it again, without the communication orb." Following Lucidna's orders, I hold my fingers up to my throat, and use magic to turn it off. The only magic I'm currently capable of doing.

"Thank you, Librarian Von Stein." Lucidna says something too fast for me to understand without the help of my communication orb. We sit there in silence for a bit, before Lucidna starts talking slowly.

"Did you… understand that?"

"No-" I begin, but cut myself off. I'm trying to mimic Lucidna's speech so I start over. "-I did not."

"You can… turn it on again." I listen to Lucidna and turn the communication orb back on.

"So, like I said, take a break. We'll begin again in a few days. I want to get you to a level where you can do basic communication without the orb, even if people have to speak slowly to you. At your speed, even if we slow down a bit, we should reach that goal long before that…"

"Please don't put such expectations on me, you'll only be disappointed."

"I'd tell you to stop speaking about yourself like that, but that would hardly solve the underlying problem."

Lucidna then stands up. "Well, I'm going to handle my own things now. You handle the checkout section." A surge of anxiety wells up within me.

"W-w-wait! I'm just an assistant, are you really sure I should be handling this?"

"You've been working for two weeks, plus it's a light day, you'll be fine."

"What if I make a mistake?"

"Did your parents beat you every time you did something even slightly wrong? I can't imagine any other source of such anxiety…"

"My parents never did anything like that…"

"Well then why- Nevermind, we'll talk about this later. Just handle checking out books by yourself. You can handle that much."

"Y- yes, Librarian Von Stein."

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After two whole weeks of hard work, a break for the mind is greatly appreciated. It's like getting to sleep after an all nighter or two, or getting to drink anything after waking up thirsty in the middle of the night. Right now, I'm literally just sitting around, patiently waiting for one of the librarians to ask me to do anything.

I'm really grateful for Lucidna for allowing me to take a break. I just have to hope she'll get me back on track after this break. No, given how strict Lucidna can be, I shouldn't worry. I should just trust in Lucidna's lesson plan more. She's understood all of my emotions and motivations so well up to now, it's hard to believe she won't be able to handle me going forward. Man, what is she going to do if I fall in love with her?

Imagining being girlfriends with Lucidna makes my heart throb. No, stop it. What would she think if she stared into your soul again and caught that emotion? Imagine just how creepy she'd think you are… She wouldn't be wrong either, given the kind of things you'd want out of such a relationship. Besides, a relationship between the two of us wouldn't work out. Lucidna's far too strict and I'm far too free spirited for us to get along in any kind of relationship other than a teacher student one…

Although I still really need to thank her for understanding me and giving me a break tomorrow. Her shift ended an hour ago.

…

It's been another two hours…

I'm bored now.

This is the downside of a stupidly long break. Now I actually want to get back to work. Not working on anything feels really wrong. Perhaps this is me discovering a new workaholic side of myself? Oh, I hope so.

To distract myself, I take a list of all the books we should have in the library, and go around double checking that each and every book is exactly where it should be. The list is 112 pages long, and written in 11 point font, so there's a lot of books to get through. I'm even at a level where I can understand every other title.

I'll just keep doing this until three in the morning, when I can head back to the inn.

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I slowly wake up. Looking around the room, everyone else is gone. Yeah, Aubrey's an early riser and Kiaran has to be at work by ten. I only get to sleep at around four, so I'm usually not up until noon. I normally spend most of my free time in the morning studying, but I'm supposed to be taking a break right now. I can't talk with Aubrey or Kiaran right now, so what should I do?

…

This is how you know I'm getting really desperate. In my interactions between Kiaran, Lucidna, and the other librarians I've had to interact with, it's clear that I'm incredibly lonely. The moment I spend any sort of time with someone who's even remotely attractive I wind up imagining myself in an 'intense' personal relationship with them, and I find this incredibly creepy. I really need to get out more, and I'm incredibly bored, so I plan on killing those two birds with one stone.

I'm currently standing in front of one of Kári's temples. Magic is all about forging connections to super powerful beings, and Kári specifically caught my eye when asking Lucidna. He's popped up in a few of the children's books I've read as well. The Archon of Wind, Kári, apparently in his life, he became so powerful, he's still able to influence the world even though he was murdered over 800 years ago. I don't know anything about him other than what Lucidna's told me and what I've read in the children's books she's given me.

His temple is on top of one of the hills in Heafdes. There's no other buildings here, being a place of religious worship. His temple is a huge, white building that looks greek. There's stained glass windows along the walls though, so it's not quite exactly like that ancient Greek architecture I'm comparing it to.

There's a bunch of people walking into the building. They're all wearing white and light blue. Me in my black and white robe sticks out like a sore thumb, greatly increasing my anxiety. Maybe, this was a bad idea after all…

No, this isn't a bad idea. Azariah doesn't back down from situations like this, remember? Azariah's only friends right now are Kiaran and maybe Aubrey. That won't do, Azariah would have way more friends than that! And the only way to get friends is to actually be around people! Thinking like that, Azariah has no choice! I muster up all of my courage and walk into the temple.

The inside of the temple is a tad bit similar to a church from my past life, but not quite. You have the stained glass windows, and the altar in the front, but other than that, there's quite a bit different. There's rows of long tables and individual chairs, which all look to be masterfully crafted, with all the chairs varying in design. The ceiling is glass, which is highly unusual for this world.

Getting a hold of myself, I hurry up and take a seat, like everyone else is doing. Looking around there's only a few people who aren't wearing white or light blue, and even fewer who aren't wearing any sort of lighter colors. I'm the only one wearing black. This is making me really uncomfortable, but I'm too far into this to leave now.

It takes a while for people to stop coming in, but after that, the doors are closed, and a young woman walks up to the altar. She has black hair that comes down to her eyes. She's wearing a white dress that only comes up to just above her knees. She's slim & short, and I can't notice any boobs. Flat, just how I like my women… ugh, did I really just think that? That's so creepy, even by my standards…

"Hello everybody-" she begins. "-I'm happy to meet with you all again for another day. I can see some new faces in the crowd today, so I'll start by introducing myself. My name is Jody Graham, I'm a priest of Kári's cult here in Heafdes. I'm the son of Kara Graham, an archbishop of our faith."

Huh?! That's a boy?! That's even better! His voice didn't even give it away! That's amazing!

"And before you ask, yes, I am, indeed, a boy." He acknowledges it too! I'm in love!

"So, should we have all the new people introduce themselves or should we hurry up to the mass offering?" Oh God, please don't make me introduce myself.

"Hmm… seems like you'd all rather move on. That's fair, we'll have all the new fellas mingle with each other after the mass offering and my little performance~" Oh God, everything about his voice is seductive. Just keep talking.

A well endowed blonde woman comes from one of the back doors with a huge, iron plate. She places it in front of the altar and takes a seat.

"Let's start by giving our offerings to our great patron, the Archon of Wind, Kári." With that, a bunch of people start getting out of their seats and walking towards the giant metal plate. What? I was meant to bring gifts?! I didn't know that?!

"Newcomers are exempt. Giving to the mass offering also isn't required, but greatly appreciated." Oh, phew. Thank you for saving me from the embarrassment, Jody.

The people who walk up to the metal plate place all sorts of things onto it. Food, drawings, writing, small statues, wood carvings, that sort of stuff. After a while, everyone places their offerings on the plate and returns to their seats. "Hm, quite the offerings today. I'm sure Kári will be very pleased. Shall we move onto the prayers then? Again, this isn't required but greatly appreciated. I'll give everyone a short minute to get all their thoughts across to Kári."

Almost everyone closes their eyes and bows down, presumably in prayer. Jody, a few others, and I don't pray. I wasn't much of a religious person in my past life, and I doubt I will be in this life either. I understand this is a fantasy world and there's magic and stuff but this is a bit difficult to believe. A human died eight centuries ago, is still able to interact with the world, and has the time to listen to so many prayers. I've heard that Kári was so powerful he might as well have been considered a God, but I still can't believe he's capable of listening to all the prayers of all his followers.

"Alright, sorry but that's all the time I'll allow you guys. I'll be giving my performance now. Ulnoa, hand me my instrument." The well filled out blonde woman gets up from her seat and hands Jody a small harp. It's only about the size of a head, made out of a lighter type of wood, and has growing light green engravings on it. The strings are also glowing. Is he going to start playing it? Is he supposed to be doing that? Is that what they normally do here?

Jody plays a short series of notes on his harp which sounds absolutely beautiful. "Alright, it seems to be tuned fine. Let's begin."

Jody begins playing his harp and singing. Normally if someone were to do this, I would cringe, but the harp sounds far too good and his singing voice is far too beautiful for me to have such a reaction.

This probably goes on for nearly 5 minutes, and I'm absolutely entranced during the entire thing. Jody sung a song about how Kári used wind magic to lift an entire city into the sky, and how he ruled there until the Archon of Lightning, Adad came up there, dragged Kári back to earth and destroyed the entire city in one attack. Honestly, I'd love to read about this, but I want to hear Jody sing even more…

"Ah… now I'm parched. Well, refreshments should be here shortly. All of you mingle with each other while I take care of that real quick~" Jody then leaves. Everyone after that starts getting up from their seats and talking to each other. I can hear people introducing themselves… oh no… Ah, this is getting my stress way up. It wouldn't be rude to leave right now, right? I hope not… I stand up, getting ready to leave, but then Jody comes back with a bunch of other various men and women in matching white dresses. They're rolling in tables on wheels with water, cheap food, and various art stuff that I recognize. That last part is what prompts me to stay.

"Alright everyone! Food and stuff is here!" Jody raises his voice in order to be heard throughout the whole temple. Even hearing his voice is a relief. Everyone heads over to the tables that they brought out. I also head there, since everyone is focused on the food, I figure I'd be less noticeable. Also, I haven't had lunch yet, and I might as well try the stuff they're serving here. Looking at the art supplies, they have scrolls in place of paper, pencils, quills, paint, sewing stuff, and various other things.

Hey, this is all free, right? Looking around, I see other people taking some of the art stuff, so I might as well. After having a rather light lunch all while standing up I take a scroll no one's grabbed yet and a pencil. Taking my seat, I roll the scroll out in front of me and put the pencil to paper. I have no idea what to draw. I pretty much only drew anime in my past life, and I'm afraid that's going to be too unfamiliar to the people here…

What would Azariah want to draw? Jody's entire existence is really making me feel a certain sort of way, so I think Azariah wants to draw a cute femboy in a dress… Can't have it be too similar to Jody though, don't want to come off as creepy. I'll change the dress to a skirt then, and make the hair longer.

Sketching it out, I make the head rather short to amplify the cute feel. I only make the body 5 heads tall to show how short the character is, and I decide on a pose. Leaning forward with both hands behind the back. A cute pose, can practice foreshortening, and don't have to draw hands. Perfect. After that's done I sketch a short sleeve shirt and a skirt short enough to leave the thighs exposed on top of it.

After that I begin doing the lineart. I start at the hair and then move onto the rest of the head and face. I'm most of the way done with the head before I realize I did draw anime even though I was intending not to. I don't know how to draw realistic, so if I started trying now it would just come out horrible. I just hope no one sees this.

"Oh Kári, that's so cute!" I hear from behind my shoulder, freaking me out. Turning around, it's a rather tall woman with a wide frame and short hair. She's wearing the normal white and light blue of most of the people here, implying she's a regular. The fabric of her outfit is rather thin since I can just barely make out her bra and cleavage. I'm far too stressed out to enjoy the view right now. I'd just feel disgusted at myself for enjoying something like that anyway.

"That's really good, who is that supposed to be?" Oh God, she's still talking to me… It's far too embarrassing to admit just how obsessed I got over Jody, so I try my best to make some random stuff up.

"No one… I'm just doodling…"

"That's really good for a doodle. He's really cute and well done!" Huh? He? You're supposed to think he's a girl, did I mess up somewhere?

"How did you know it was a boy?" The tall lady just looks at me weird for a moment. Don't look at me like that, this is already stressful enough…

"Judging from your dress, you're a newcomer to Kári's cult, aren't you?" What does that have to do with my question?

"Y- yes…"

"Well you know, Kári was famously very short and feminine. People in our cult trying to replicate his appearance usually end up looking like your drawing."

Huh?! One of the legendary God-like Archons this country practically worships was a femboy?! Not only that, but his cult is full of femboys?! How many more Jodys are there?! How many femboys are in this temple that I mistook for women?! Ah, why am I only learning this now?! If I had known that I would've been showing up here every single day from as soon as I was revived!

"Huh? That got you pretty excited didn't it?" Oh no, what did I do?

"How did… you know?"

"You slammed your hands against the table and started staring off into space all obsessively, and you were blushing." Oh God, that's so embarrassing… Still though, the femboys are worth it… I wonder if one of the female Archons could be considered a tomboy? I wonder if their cult would be full of tomboys? I might have to check that cult out as well…

"Well I'll let you keep drawing. Let me see it when you're done though. And please keep coming back here, if you're able."

"OK…" The tall woman walks away and leaves me alone. Phew, the adrenaline from after a good conversation is kicking in. This combined with the fact I learned this cult worships a femboy and is also filled with femboys causes me to reacha huge new high.

><><><><

"Give it back in 40 days or less. Anything after that will give you a late fee."

"Of course." The civilian leaves the library with his newly checked out book. Glancing at the magical clock on the check out desk, it says 2:58. Azariah's normally here by now. She's never less than 5 minutes early. This is highly unusual behavior for her. Was she more burnt out than I thought? I'll let her take a day off, but I'll have to scold her for not telling me in advance.

"Lucidna, I'm here sorry for being late." Just as I think that, Azariah walks through the entrance way to this section of the library in her uniform.

"You still have two minutes, you aren't late."

"Oh, that's good."

"And it's Librarian Von Stein while we're working."

"Sorry, Librarian Von Stein."

"So, how are you doing? Are you appreciating the break?"

"Oh, I want to start back up again."

"What?"

I accidentally raised my voice a bit, which pretty much always gets some negative reaction out of Azariah but she doesn't appear to have noticed this time.

"I want to hurry up and learn to read. I want to read about Kári." She says, excitement in her voice. Using my eyes to look into her soul, she doesn't appear to be burnt out at all, and is instead the most excited I've ever seen her. Is a single off day enough to completely rejuvenate you, Azariah?

"You seem in a good mood, what happened?" This question was a mistake, as when I ask it, Azariah begins saying what I assume is an entire essay on Kári, his cult, and "femboys". She's probably going on for two whole minutes before finally stopping.Azariah begins gasping for breath, as she didn't breathe during any of that. Honestly she probably said more words just now than during an entire normal day for her, minus our studies.

"So let me get this straight. You really want to get back to work because you learned that Kári presented very feminine and you want to read more about him because of that?"

"Yes." Azariah's fun to teach but she'll get way too excited over the most random things.

"Oh well, given the contents of your soul, you'd be a great fit for the cult of the most lustful Archon."

"L-lustful?"

"Huh? Did you seriously not know that? I thought you would've. When he was alive he had 112 wives and 93 husbands."

"He had husbands?" Azariah says, as she's breathing heavily and blushing. That's the part that caught your attention?

"He was also a huge patron of the arts, so his cult treats that sort of thing in very high regard. If you were spending all your time working or studying, I'd recommend you keep heading there everyday. Judging from your speech from earlier it appears to be a good influence on you."

"Thank you. Can we start studying now?"

"OK, we'll start studying now."