Flight

Inell is standing on the edge of a huge stone platform. It comes off of a tall hill near the middle of Heafdes. It's a solid stone platform with two huge staircases leading up it. At the greatest difference between the platform's height and the ground below, it's prbably a good six stories worth of difference. On top of the stone platform is a huge pavilion with seven stone human statues four times the size of a human in the center. These are statues of the seven Archons.

Inell's looking away from them, and is instead standing on the edge of the platform, his left hand on the guide rails, looking over all of Heafdes. He's dressed in similar clothes as when we first met and he's holding an umbrella with his right hand, even though it isn't raining. I slowly approach him from behind.

"H- hello, Inell…" I barely squeak out. After what he wound up seeing I can't help but act incredibly nervous around him, even if it was my mistake. He turns around at me, in surprise.

"Oh it's you from that night. You finally came to see me, huh?"

I had asked Jody about Inell. He seemed surprised I didn't know him when he figured out who I was talking about, but he quickly told me everything I needed to know. This man was an influential figure in Kári's cult, a super powerful wind magic user, and a dragon tamer. Jody assured me that I should go and train under him, if he was giving me the option, so that's how I wound up here.

"Y- yes…"

"So, what have you decided? Just how did you come to find me all the way out here?"

"I am also a Kári's cultist… the priest at my congregation knew you and really wanted me to go and see you right away."

"So they just found me like that?"

"Y- yes…"

"Can I have their name then?"

"Jody Graham." Inell looks at me in surprise.

"Jody? You mean Kara's kid?"

He catches me off guard with that. "Y- you know Jody? He didn't mention knowing you personally…"

"Well that's really cold of him, isn't it? No, well, we only ever really see each other when his mother's involved, and it's always because of something super important, so he must not feel all that close to me."

"Right… his mother is an archbishop, isn't she?"

"That's right, have you met her?"

"No, I have not. Jody doesn't mention anything regarding his family."

"Oh really? I'm quite acquainted with his mother. Would you like to know more about his family?" I pause, on one hand, I do really want to know, but on the other this seems super creepy to ask. Thinking back to what Inell said the other night though, maybe it'll be better if I can be confident in my decision? I try to psyche myself up. Well that's easy! Azariah's the most confident girl in the whole world!

"Yes please. I would like to know about Jody's family." Inell smiles at me.

"Alright, his mother's a super devout follower of Kári. So much so, she's begun to hear his voice. Jody has three half brothers, all of which are younger than him. None of Kara's children are full siblings. Jody and the rest of Kara's children don't know their fathers. None of them let that get to them though. That sort of thing is considered normal in Kári's cult, after all."

Huh?! Seriously?! Jody's mother can hear Kári's voice?! And she has four children, all of which are with different men?! Oh, I want to meet her, I want to meet her so bad! I quickly realize the implications of those thoughts however. I'm getting so excited over a family situation that involves Jody never being able to meet his father. That isn't something I should feel happy about, and guilt starts to flow into my body.

"So tell me now, do you regret that decision?"

"Um… I… I…"

"The correct answer is no. That is, if you want to fly." I just stand there, unsure of what to say.

"Flight represents total freedom. Total separation from all of our anxieties and regrets. That is to say such things do nothing but weigh us down and keep us tethered to the earth. The process of flight is the process of abandoning all of those sins."

Half of what he's saying makes sense, and the other half does not. I do agree that flight represents freedom. I wouldn't disagree with that in a million years, but I can't quite get behind the rest of what he's saying. I don't understand how being more confident or not regretting anything will help me blow gusts of wind in just the right way to keep me from falling to the ground.

"We'll begin with getting rid of that. So I'm going to start by asking you to throw caution to the wind and start coming to work on flight with me instead of heading to your congregation. Just when do you go?" I pause. Jody has assured me there is nothing wrong with this man, and I trust Jody. If it wasn't for both of those factors, I would turn around and leave Inell right this second. This just screams 'This is a scam! Or possibly even worse!'

"Fine. I'll tell Jody and my friends I won't be coming around for the next few weeks in the morning tomorrow. I'll come over right after that." I then explain to Inell just when that will be, and when I normally go to congregation, as well as my job, how Lucidna teaches me, my time limit, and why it exists. He looks legitimately impressed with me.

"Alright, you're already improving. Just one more thing though, before we begin for real. What's your name?"

Hearing him ask that, surprises me. I had just assumed he knew, but I can't remember a single time I've ever told him it. "It's… Azariah, just Azariah."

"Alright then, Azariah. Your training begins now."

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It's been a few days since I have asked Inell to train me. We meet twice a day in the same spot where I asked him to train me, once after I get off of work and once when I normally go to Kári's cult. Today is a day off for me so I could tell Aubrey what I've been up to. I had headed over to Inell early this time, so that I could read later. The sun had just set, making it quite hard to see. We usually train much later than this though, so neither of us complain.

"You're being far too rigid. Taking all the air below you and sending it up at speeds high enough to hold up your body weight aren't going to help you fly at all." I fall onto the ground again.

"But… but Lucidna said-"

"I believe your teacher has a fatal misunderstanding of how flight actually works." What? Is he seriously doubting Lucidna?

"That's impossible-" I begin before Inell cuts me off again.

"Has your teacher ever flown before?"

"No… she hasn't…"

"Then I'd take everything she says about the subject with a grain of salt. I thought she was at least a little right, a little misguided, but people listening to her could still eventually get the general idea but it looks as though I can't even give her that much credit."

"Stop it." I growl, surprising Inell. "Don't insult Lucidna like that." He stares at me for a moment.

"Alright, I'm sorry, that was rather rude of me to say."

We take a short break for my mana to regenerate a bit and for me to calm down before we start again.

"Focus on the air all around you. Feel how it feels on your skin, and become aware of how it exists all around you, even if you cannot see it." I follow Inell's instructions as closely as possible, not wanting to mess up this time.

"Become aware that you can do anything you want with it. Remember that Kári loves creativity and there is no more malleable medium than air."

That's a really cool quote to be honest, I'll have to keep that one in mind after this is done. Oh, I also do as he says.

"Now imagine the air all around you lifting you up. Feel you mana, pouring out from your soul, and expanding all around you, slowly grab all the air in your immediate vicinity. Now imagine locking all that mana into place and pulling up. Taking the air, and yourself along with it."

As I close my eyes, I try to envision everything Inell tells me. I focus as hard as I can, forgetting about all my failed attempts, just how much mana this is guzzling down, and my duel with Kiaran soon. I slowly realize that my feet are not pushing up against anything. I'm clearly levitating. In this moment, I feel as if I have legitimately succeeded. But then I start shaking. As I feel the turbulence, I open my eyes and see that I'm a lot higher up than I had thought.

I'm a good ten feet off the ground. If I fall the wrong way, I'll really hurt myself. Nothing as bad as a broken bone or anything, but it will still hurt. This fact takes precedence in my mind over the fact that I'm probably five times higher than I've ever been, shattering all my previous records. I send gusts of wind towards me to help maintain my balance. As I do though, the turbulence only gets worse, causing me to correct myself more. As this goes on, the turbulence becomes even greater, and I send even stronger gusts of wind my way, before I fall back to the ground.

I land on my side, and pain reverberates throughout my whole body. I was so high up, that I had to hold my arms around my head, lest I risk getting a concussion or similar head injury. Still, even if I did fall, and I did hurt myself, I still flew for higher and longer than I ever did. It's kind of hard to appreciate this though, given just how much mana that technique drained from me.

Creating gusts of winds strong enough to keep me in the air, I'll use about all of my mana in around an hour assuming constant use. I had used that technique Inell taught me for what had to have been less than thirty seconds and it already drained half a day's worth of mana. Improving mana capacity or not, there's no way that could ever be useful if that's how much mana it uses. If I could compare it to anything, it would be like a car going a quarter of a mile off of one gallon. Totally useless.

"Alright, I'll admit I was trying a little experiment there. It doesn't seem to have worked, however." I hear Inell say. The pain from the fall isn't enough to keep me from moving, so I get up.

"Just what kind of experiment?"

"Well you were trying to be so um… scientific about the process of flight, which never really works. You were really smart about it though, and had a large mana capacity so I wanted to see if you could pull it off. It didn't work though, so that's unfortunate."

I can't help but let anger course throughout all my veins. "You mean to tell me that everything you were teaching me was useless, just to see if I could do it like that?" I say, hurting my throat in the process because of the tone of voice I used.

"Woah, woah, calm down, you have this all wrong."

"I have it wrong?! I've missed days of my time in Kári's cult because of you! I couldn't learn magic with Lucidna because I was saving up my mana, and you tell me you were just testing something out?! You know I have a time limit!"

Inell's posture switches into a somewhat defensive stance. "Woah, woah, I was testing something out, but that doesn't mean that all the training we've done up until now was useless. I've already taught you the basics. You have your foundation already, we'll just go from there." I try to get myself to calm down. I breathe in and out really slowly, and try to think of this logically.

Training under him did help me progress much faster than I did with Lucidna. Lucidna did have no idea what she was doing when she was teaching me to fly, she herself admitted that. I did shatter my height and time flown records just now, all because of what Inell taught me. If I already have the basics down then does that mean he plans on teaching me how to do it without using up a day's worth of mana in a minute?

"I'm sorry…" I begin, but Inell cuts me off.

"Don't worry about it, you're worrying about your own stuff too, right?" I don't answer that question.

"Anyway. I've been trying to teach you as logically as possible, which isn't quite my style. So I'll be teaching you the way I learned it."

"How did you learn it?"

"Eh, we'll get to that later. All I'll say right now is that I was born in the Antisor Mountains and was raised by dragons. I've been flying like this since I was a young child because of them. Anyways, let's begin."

Huh?! You're just going to drop a massive bombshell on me like that and move on like nothing happened?! All of a sudden Inell grabs my hand. His hand is so small… and soft… and I never realized his nails were so long. Ah… I'm jealous.

"Hold on tight, and don't let go." Inell says. Huh? I feel like that's really important. Hold on, repeat that.

All of a sudden I can feel wind blowing all around me. Looking down Inell and I are both levitating off of the ground, although I'm not using any of my mana. "H-hey, wait! Wait! Wait!"

Inell doesn't wait as he takes off just like the night I met him except this time he's dragging me off with me. "Aaaaaaaaaaaahh!" Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God, we're so high up, we're so high up, if I fall from here I will definitely die.

A pure instinctual fear wraps around my body. Every single muscle is screaming at me "Get me down from here! This isn't safe!" In this life, I wasn't even this terrified when I first came into this world and was completely surrounded by men while naked. The only fear that surpasses this one was right at the end of my previous life, where I was dying.

"Inell! Inell! Put me down! Put me down!" I close my eyes. All the buildings are far too small for comfort. I'm this close to crying. Inell stops after this, but I don't feel my feet on any solid ground.

"Hey Azariah, open your eyes. You'll want to see this."

"No!" I scream at the top of my lungs.

"You know, if you have a fear of heights, you're going to have to get over that if you want to fly."

"I don't have a fear of heights! I have a fear of being dangled over a drop that'll definitely kill me!"

"That's what flying is, though. It's just that you're the one in control." Paying attention to what he says, I get where he's coming from. If this is how I act when I get up to just this high, how am I ever going to fly at all.

Thinking back to how I had to fight my fear of social embarrassment in order to make friends, I slowly fight the fear this time and open my eyes. As I open them, I'm not greeted by my favorite color black that's so standard for the night, but rather… orange and yellow. I open my eyes more, and I can see the sun setting. My eyes open wide, watching my second sunset of the day.

"Pretty, isn't it? Apparently the world being round and the way light from the sun hits it means that if you fly up high enough you'll get to see the sunset twice. I don't quite get it myself to be honest." I… I already knew that, but I never thought I'd see it… even when coming into this world… actually, especially when coming into this world.

I slowly look back down at Heafdes. We're so high up I can't even make out people. I had never realized the city was so… expansive whenever we were walking around in it. We're up 2000 feet in the air, at least.

Breathing slowly, to try and keep myself calm, I realize I feel kind of bad for all the people down there I can no longer see. Not being able to experience such a beautiful thing. I honestly Pity them. Whenever I finally manage to learn to fly, I'll have to try and drag Lucidna up here when I get the chance. I'm sure she also has a bunch of cool experiences to show me that can only be obtained with lighting magic. I'll have to ask her to trade, oh I can't wait.

"You seem to have gotten over your fear rather quickly." I hear to my right. Looking over at Inell, he's looking at me, legitimately impressed. The way the sunlight is reflecting off of his skin, and the way his hair is blowing through the wind, I can't help but think that he's beautiful.

"We'll move onto the next phase."

"What is it? Please tell me."

"Do you know how dragons teach their young to fly?"

"No… I don't." Should I know? Please don't be common knowledge…

"Dragons teach their young to fly by having them latch onto their back , flying up really high, and then dropping them."

"Huh?" Is all I can say before Inell lets go of my hand and drops me. Everything seems to slow down, and my only thought in this moment is that if I survive this, I'm going to kill him as soon as I see him again.

I fall through the air at immense speeds. The sun is slowly setting as the buildings below me become bigger. I try to imagine flight like Inell told me but I'm too busy fearing for my life to be able to focus on that. I try blowing on myself with gusts of wind to slow me down, but I'm moving far too quickly. All of my thoughts leave my body.

This is it, I'm going to die again. After all of that, I'm just going to fall on the ground and I'm going to end up all over the road and the buildings next to it. I start to cry again as I come to terms with this. At least it isn't as embarrassing as the last time. At least this time I died because I was doing what I loved instead of refusing to ask for help.

It's night again now. The ground is dangerously close. It's almost here. I think about my short life in this new world. Only around about five weeks. Just how pathetic is that? I don't want to die here. This isn't how this was supposed to go. I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die! I don't want to die! I don't want to die!

"This was supposed to be my second chance, right?!" I scream at the top of my lungs.

"What the hell am I doing, dying like this?! What the hell is wrong with me?!" My fear turns to anger. Pure, visceral anger. "How dare I accept dying like this?! What the hell has gotten into me?!"

"Azariah shouldn't be held back by my fear! This is something Azariah should be able to do, I can't hold her back! I refuse to let Azariah die here!" Kári! I demand you give me your winds! I refuse to take no for an answer this time! Through my angry tears, I pray to Kári, demanding for his power, not asking.

The ground appears to be speeding towards me faster than ever. I only have a few seconds to pull this off. If I don't I will die. Strangely enough, even my anger disappears. In this one moment, I decide that I will fly. I will not try, I will. And in that same moment, I do not feel even the slightest hint of fear or anger. I feel no happiness, no sadness, not even nervousness. The only emotion I feel is a thrill that excites me to my very core!

Throughout both of my lives, I have felt a wide range of emotions and experienced a wide range of events. I won't even begin to list them all. But I know that right now, this moment… is my single most favorite moment throughout the 17 long years I've been alive!

I can't even remember why I was here, or how I got into this situation. I forget everything that has ever made me nervous, I forget every single regret I've ever had. Right now… for just right now, I don't even care if I live or die, because I feel as if everything in my life has been worth it. No matter how this goes, I feel as if I'll be OK.

I use my mana to grab all the air around me as fast as possible, and then I pull up. Hard. The Gs I gain from this maneuver nearly knock me unconscious. I go faint headed for a moment, but I can't afford to pass out now. I come what's probably around 15 or so feet above the buildings I fly over. If any one of these buildings were just one story higher I'd end up all over the place but this does nothing but excite me even more. I never want this amazing thrill to end! My own death be damned!

I begin to fly upward. For the first time, without even the slightest bit of turbulence, annoyance, or anxiety, I begin to fly dozens of feet into the air without the slightest bit of hesitation. Why the hell would I even consider stepping on solid ground after such an amazing thrill?! "Aaaah! Again! Again! I want to do that again!"

Ahh, so this is what freedom is like? This is what happiness is like? What the hell was I doing before this? Was I an idiot? No, of course I was an idiot. What kind of idiot wouldn't be doing this sort of stuff every second of every day up until they finally died? I'm assaulted by the feelings of hate for my past self and love & admiration for my current self. It's an amazing feeling.

"Hahahahahaha!" I begin laughing for the first time in this world. Whether it's at my own stupidity or at my quick change of heart, I don't know, nor do I care.

If the buildings I flew over were a story higher, I would have died, if I had pulled up a moment later, I would have died, if I hadn't started yelling at myself, I would have died, yet I begin laughing. I came so close to dying, yet this is the happiest I've ever been in this world. This might even be the happiest I've ever been in my old world too. Ah, this really is just the best, isn't it?

"Azariah!" I can hear a voice call from under me. Go away, let me bask in this most wonderful afterglow! I look down to see just what whelp interrupted me, and I see another girl flying below me with white hair and red eyes. Wait no, that isn't a girl, that's Inell. Just when did he get below me? He dropped me.

"Don't do that right as you're about to hit the ground! I was down there to catch you, and then all of a sudden you went flying to the left! I wouldn't have been able to save you if you were about to die!" I hear what he's saying, but I don't quite understand. Just what is he talking about? Why does he sound so terrified? Did something happen? I'm over here having the best time of my life!

He keeps talking to me, sounding all horrified but I don't listen. I'm much more focused on just how cute his face is, and how slim his shoulders are, and how smooth his skin is… Oh how much I love femboys. Ah Inell, I really need to thank you for everything you've done for my up until now. That thrill was absolutely priceless yet all I've done to repay you is being super annoyed at everything you've done. My actions up until now are unforgivable but I still want to make it up to him.

"Hey Inell, we met in the baths, right? What do you say me and you take another bath together… in private~" I lick my lips as I make an expression the me from just a few minutes ago wouldn't even have thought of making. "It's my first time so you'll have to be gentle, but after a while I'll be open to more stuff. Hell, even if you wanted to invite 10 other guys I wouldn't be against it…"

Inell just looks at me with a terrified expression. This slowly takes me out of the thrill that I had just experienced and I realize just what I had just done. I just exposed that side of myself… The level of shame and disgust that fills my body makes me want to throw up.

"W- wait! I didn't mean that! I don't know what came over me!"

"Azariah…"

"You have to believe me! I'm not that type of person, honest!" I tell whatever lies I can just to get him to believe me. I don't think I've ever lied through my teeth as much as I am now.

Then, I begin to get tired. Fear quickly replaces the embarrassment I had felt. Mana exhaustion. I've used up all the mana I had stored. I was so excited about everything that I had completely forgotten about that! Looking down at the ground, I'm probably around 200 feet high, easily a long enough fall to kill me.

"Innel!" I scream as loud as I possibly can, reaching my hand out for Inell. I begin falling as I no longer have the mana to keep myself supported in the air. I desperately try to force more mana out, however when I do, I feel as if my heart is being crushed and experience a fear on par with the fear of death.

Fortunately, I was still able to use my logic, and was able to push past this fear, even if just for a while. I try and gather mana to surround myself with, but if feels like I'm having a migraine right in the middle of my chest.

I stop falling, and are slowly placed back onto the ground, although not from my own effort. It was Inell who flew down and save me. He grabbed ahold of me like a princess as he slowly returned to solid ground. Being saved, being held like this… it's making my heart flutter.

"Are you alright, Azariah?"

"Yes, better than ever." I say, assertively. Disgust towards myself fills me once again as I realize that freudian slip from before I fell.

"Alright then." Inell says as he slowly puts me down. "You need to be more knowledgeable about how much mana you have left when you're flying. If I wasn't there to save you, you'd have to have burnt through your life force just to keep yourself from dying." Yes! Please for the love of God change the subject!

"Life force?" I ask, desperately trying to not have what I just said come up in conversation.

"Whenever you use magic, draw mana from out of your soul. Mana is what makes up the outermost layer of your soul, the surface, essentially. Below that layer of mana is your life force. When you use up all your mana, you can still use magic, but you'll have to pull from your life force, which has a bunch of horrible side effects. The most important ones being that drawing from life force permanently shortens your lifespan, and once you use it all, you instantly die."

Alright, that sounds a tad bit important to know.

"Mana replenishes itself over time and you can gain a greater mana capacity, but you can't do either of those with your life force. The other main side effects of using up your life force is that you'll lose memories and your hair will go pale white."

That last part catches my attention. Inell has white hair. "Inell, have you-"

"No, I'm just an albino. I wish that was the reason for my white hair though. If that was the case I'd actually be able to go out in the sun without an umbrella."

I'm really grateful for that, though. I love albinism, and also the fact that Inell probably hasn't been in any situations that would force him to use such a dangerous tactic.

"You look like you used a bit of your life force there though. You don't have to worry, with the amount of mana you used, you shouldn't have done too much damage. Your hair did go a bit lighter, though."

Inell's words scare me. I hold my hair out in front of my face and it has gotten lighter. Before it was so pitch black you couldn't make out any details, but now it looks just like dyed black hair. I can see the individual strands of my hair for the first time in this world. Tears begin to form in my eyes. No… why did this happen. I'm filled with regret, why did I ruin my perfect hair?

"Are you crying? Is your hair really that important to you? Don't worry, you didn't use up much life force at all. Your hair will go back to normal in a few hours." I cannot even begin to describe the relief Inell's words cause me to feel.

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Two days have passed since that incident. I've begun heading back to Kári's Cult after I wake up. I've also begun intently training under Lucidna in magic again, now that I didn't have to worry about conserving my mana for flight training with Kári. We're back in the large underground room she always teaches me in.

"Alright. Show me what Inell Illeanes has been teaching you. Begin flying." Lucidna says. I pour out the mana from my soul, grab a hold of the wind around me, and begin levitating. I don't have even the slightest issue any more.

"Hm? Was my teaching really that inadequate? Or was it the dragon tamer's experience with flight that made his teaching so much better than mine?"

I really don't want to answer that question, so I change the subject. "Lucidna… I can not fly like this for long. Please let me get on with the training before I drain all my mana."

"Yes, of course." After I actually flew, I kind of just learned how to conserve my mana while flying. If I was using my mana at the rate I did when Inell first taught me, I'd only be able to maintain this for a minute. Now though, assuming I don't do any fancy maneuvers or cast any other spells, I can maintain it for up to 20 minutes.

"Alright then, while you still have mana, we'll focus on learning how to cast spells while maintaining flight."