Repeated lifetime

I walk towards the street not seeing the speeding truck rushing towards me from behind "ah" the truck hits me and I land on the ground as my body flops over several times "cough, cough" as I lay there, lifeless I think

"dammit, why, why, before I could accomplish a thing…why".

I wake up on a bed, and as I look around I think to myself

"huh, what's going on?"

I rub my eyes and as it would turn out I'm on my bed laying there but the thing is that the bed i'm laying in isn't my bed or at least not my bed now, the bed i'm in is the one from my childhood, to be specific it is from the years in which I was in high school. And to be even more specific, I had this bed from the ages of 13-17 before my parents kicked me out so the real question here is what am I doing on this bed? Well, I don't know the answer to that question. If I did I wouldn't be talking about the bed I'm lying in right now. Moving on, I lay there on my bed thinking to myself

"where am I? Why am I here? I know where I am but how, how is it possible that i'm here in this house, in this room and in this bed, after all didn't I just…?"

My eyes widen as I put my hand under my mouth and say

"I… just died"

I held the spots that were the most injured then I felt a sensation,

"oh, oh go- ahh"

I grabbed my stomach and thought to myself

"ugh, I feel like i'm gonna"

I got up and ran to the bathroom which was across the long hallway outside of my room, when there I opened the toilet seat. My mom ran down the stairs to investigate the strange noise that she heard and as she did, she seemed to have noticed that it was coming from, so she turned towards the bathroom door pulled the nob to find me vomiting in the toilet with a look of absolute terror

"Tooru, what happened?"

Then as I wiped the vomit off of my mouth, I looked at my mother with drowsy unclear eyes, and I wiped them so that I could see better, when my vision was completely clear I looked at my mother again and said

"m-mom, but I- you're- h-how"

to which my mom replied

"what are you talking about, you need to get ready for school today, first you should clean yourself up, alright"

after saying that my mom left the bathroom, however I still lay there in utter shock of what just happened

"but, how… mom died when I was 16 in a car accident-… there's no way… nonononono t-that's impossible, even if it was possible why would I have been chosen to do it there's just no way that I could've… could've gone… back in time, to when I was in high school"

then I changed my thinking process

"wait, now that I think about it, mom never said what kind of school, though judging by how my voice sounds, so I would have to say that i'm in high school and probably a first year judging by the school uniform I saw when I was running for the bathroom, wait can't I just check the mirror" so that's just what I did and what I saw was the image of a child with spiky, black hair and blue eyes that had an innocent touch to them, a face with a warm, grateful feel that seemed as though it could do no wrong as I touched this face I… "huh, why am I crying"

tears streamed down my face after I stated that I tried to wipe them off but they just kept coming. I asked why I was crying, but in reality I knew exactly why I was

"so.. if I have a second chance, then does that mean I can…"

I stared at my hand which turned into a fist and stated with all my will, and with all my pride

"I can save them".

I went downstairs to find my mom, dad and sister sitting at the table

"hey, Tooru''

to which I replied with a teary voice

"h-hey"

then I thought to myself

"that's right if i'm in high school then she's alive too, thank god"

"are you okay!"

"Huh"

I said in confusion to that question as my sister said in worry

"you look like you're about to cry"

and to that I smiled and said

"no, no i'm alright"

to which she replied

"good"

"she's like this to anyone she meets, though…"

I bit my lip as I thought about what happened back then, afterI cooled down a little I reassured myself by saying

"it's fine, as I said…"

I put on a determined look

"I can save them"

"I swear on my heart that I will fix everything wrong with the world that I had to live through once, I swear that I won't live through this again, i'm gonna put a stop to this for good, I promise on my life I won't let a single person that I care about leave me, i'll bring all of them back and I will make sure that no matter what happens I won't let a future like that happen, not on my life"

after saying this in my head I sit down at the table to eat the dinner that my mom had cooked for us and once I start eating I say

"wow, this is good"

to that remark my mom replied

"well it's the same food that I always make"

I said back to her

"oh, I was just saying that it tasted really good"

my mom said back to that

"thank you, anyway's look at what time it is"

I looked at the clock which was on the wall, the clock read

"8:22"

after reading this I said to myself

"that's right, I just realized that I'm a student which means that I have to go to school, which means… which means…"

I continue

"oh no, i'm gonna be late"

I get up before finishing my breakfast run to the door after grabbing my handbag and running out the door after saying

"i'm off, bye!".

"So, how was school today?"

My mother asked me this in her usual tone of voice

"it was just like all of the other ones at school, nothing really special about it"

I returned her question with this answer; after we got the things that we needed from the grocery store that we went to mom and I began walking back home as it wasn't too far away from the store itself however, while we were walking home my mom asked me a question

"so, do you know what college you're going to now?"

After she asked that question I thought to myself for a second and thought to myself

"it's fine, you've been preparing to say this the whole time, you can do this"

I took a deep breath before I replied so that I could prepare before telling her what I wanted to, so once I was ready I stated clearly

"mom, i'm not going to college"

once mom heard this she seemed to have a shocked look on her face before saying

"y-you mean that you're going to a university instead right?"

I restated myself by saying

"no, i'm not going to college or university i'm probably just going to drop out of high- ack"

my mom, yes the sweet mother who raised me so kindly from the very beginning of my life, the mother who looked so kind as though she could never hurt a single soul, my mother on this day in this very moment hit her own son

"huh, mom b-but why all I said was"

to which she replied in the loudest and most angry tone i've ever heard her speak in throughout my entire life

"YOU'RE NOT BECOMING A HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND, ME I SWEAR THAT IM NOT GOING TO LET A SINGLE ONE OF MY KIDS BE UNSUCCESSFUL IN LIFE EVER, NOW GET UP RIGHT NOW, WE'RE GOING HOME!!!

she tried to grab my arm however I said

"l-let go mom!"

So I ripped my arm out of my mothers hand and ran across the street, so mom chased after me though what she didn't realize was a speeding car running straight for her, however I notice this and called out to her by yelling

"mom look out!"

"Huh"

she stated before getting hit, as I stood there shocked and horrified

"oh, god no why, but I-I never got to say… say i'm sorry"

I ran towards her body and as I saw her lying there lifeless, I grabbed her hand and thought to myself

"no, it's gonna be alright, yeah she's just gonna wake up and we're gonna have a tearful apology, yeah that's what's gonna happen nothing else, she's not dead, if I check her pulse it's gonna be beating"

so I hesitantly took my hand off of her's and brought my two fingers to her wrist where her pulse should have been, and after I checked It you could see any will to live that I may have still had fade away

"why, why like this, why couldn't I have said sorry"

after I said that the police took me away from the scene to ask me a few questions, though all I really said was, on repeat so many times that I couldn't count,

"i'm sorry".

My eyes widened as the shock of the remembering that moment made my body jump in terror and hit my desk which made a loud thud noise which my friend who was trying to wake me up immediately asked me

"hey, a-are you alright"

I didn't respond to that as I was to busy wondering where I was to create a response so my friend, screamed

"HEY, TOORU"

which startled me but also helped me remember where, or more so to speak when I was

"huh Ren, is that you?"

He replied with

"of course it's me, did you hit your head when you jumped from your chair cause I sure didn't see a thing like that"

to this question I replied

"no i'm just tired"

and to this response Ren said back

"well, I was gonna wake you up anyway since it's lunch time so I was wondering if you wanted to do that again"

and I replied to this

"that, well I guess we could try it, but if we fail then it's on you alright"

to which he replied in a carefree tone

"yeah, yeah, alright fine I promise if we get caught i'm in trouble"

so we went to do the thing in that we were talking about. After leaving the classroom we went right outside the principals office

"there it is"

said Ren and as we did this I said to myself

"hahhh why did I agree to this, I mean in my first life other than the gambling I didn't do anything that bad but this, this is just…"

after I thought this the principal said to another teacher before leaving

"well, let's go we have a meeting to get to"

and as he said this Ren stated

"ok, now's our chance"

so we got up went in to the principals office found the key and went up the stairs to the rooftop door.

"Hey, you know, you've been acting pretty weird all day today"

after he said that I made a blank stare for an instant before replying to him in a formal tone

"well, I had… a bad dream"

once I said this Ren immediately asked me

"so, what was it about"

after he asked me that I stated

"it was… a dream were I lost everything that I ever had in my entire life, everyone died, mom in a car crash, brother and sister in a… actually I don't remember how those ones happened"

after saying this my friend asked me a new question

"how did it… end?"

I answered

"when I was walking down the street I noticed a truck that was about to hit me and as I was lying there on the ground only one thought came into my mind…"

I continued after a little pause to look at my friends face, the expression he wore was a terrified one, though still I continued with a sorrowful expression saying

"why couldn't I… have accomplished a damn thing"

once I said that my friend look completely shocked so I said something to reassure him

"it's fine, it was just a dream, none of that actually happened"

I said that, though in a way it wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the whole truth

"yeah, sorry it just… it just sounded so real"

after saying that he jumped off of the bench we were on and said

"well, we should leave lunch is almost over and I hear the janitor comes here every single day to clean the rooftop"

after that we left the rooftop and went down the stairs, afterwards I opened the door for Ren to walk through it

"thanks"

he said but after that I saw some people coming for the door so I decided to leave it open

"thank you"

the boy and the girl who were most likely my seniors said to me. After this I closed the door behind me and we were walking down the street

"y'know in my dream, you were dead to"

after saying this Ren stated

"thats… well, I kinda assumed that when you said everyone you cared about"

after this we stopped talking about that dream altogether, however while we were walking I saw my sister hanging out with her friends so I called out to her

"hey Aki-ne-"

before fully calling out to her I saw her with someone and I broke down while thinking in my head

"oh god, what is this, why does my head hurt"

then I remembered, I remembered who that man was, and what he did to my sister. Now skip a few weeks in my original future, or more like my original present the thing that happened that day was

"hey, Tooru"

my mom knocked on my door twice though I didn't reply, after that my mom simply opened the door walked to me, sat on my bed and started rubbing my back while saying

"it's ok"

to which I replied

"no, it's not, Aki was killed, even if the killer was caught, it doesn't make me feel any less responsible"

my mom then stated

"responsible?" I said

"Never mind, it's nothing"

to which Ren replied

"you sure, you seemed to have been freaking out when you saw your sister, ew are you…"

to which I replied in a disgusted tone

"what's wrong with you, no!"

To which Ren replied "well sorry, you kinda just freaked out so I was kinda worried"

I replied to Ren

"the reason that I was freaking out was because… I had a really bad headache"

after that Ren replied back

"well, I hope you feel better"

as he asked me that he helped me up and after I got up I replied to his former request by saying

"sure"

and I walked away before he said

"but, don't you wanna walk home together"

to which I said

"i'm ok, i'll go there on my own"

so I walked away; while I was walking I thought to myself

"that man walking with Aki, he's the one who killed her and if memory serves he's going to do so in about 2 weeks"

I continued thinking

"2 weeks, that's how long I have, if I don't save her within that period of time then everything is over, if she's killed again I won't be able to go back, I only get one second chance, so I'll use it wisely"

I walked back home with a determined look on my face after stating that in my head. Once I got home I took off my shoes and said

"hey, Daichi"

the person standing in front of me was my older brother as well as the oldest member of the family, anyway he replied to my question with

"welcome home, was a long day"

"you have no idea"

I thought to myself before saying out loud

"it was… fine, I guess"

to which he replied

"well, anyway it's time to eat so get to the table".

After we ate I went to bed and stated to myself

"well, it's been a long day, I should get some rest"

so that's exactly what I did, I got some rest and woke up in the morning and started my day as usual, though before I left the house my mom reminded me of something very important, something that was probably the most important thing in my life, so important in fact that, if I forgot it, it would have costed me the best possible moments of my life

"Tooru, it's Sunday".