HoneyCrisp 3. Ginger Gold

Henry said, Congratulations are in order Paul. They have made you an honourary citizen of my African country.

Paul replied, what does it entail, freedom to see elephants in the wild?

Henry: - It means you will be the only one to fairly pay tax, good prices, remember the widows, orphans, home based care recipients, pay customs duty, road fines and tolls, municipal charges and you will be the only honest individual, you will not lie, cheat or run for political office. Every reporter in the country will be after your hide. In other words you have to live like an Apostle after the Ascension.

3. Ginger Gold

"Some men have started businesses. They asked why they couldn’t have a certain type of service. They needed better service or different service. Henry Ford wanted the model-T in black and only the model T. Other manufacturers went on the rampage to bring out different colours. I have been to a motor museum in Detroit, man! These men, they built their own service industry. Someone made tractors and they didn’t like the vehicles available. They constructed their own vehicle.

"Today we have their name on an international sports brand of a vehicle. Think outside the box. The problem young people have is they think with their midriffs, beer, cigarettes and more beer. You grow old! People will avoid you as a silly drunk. If you make a good income working, great, thank heavens. Invest the little you can and generate more income. Did you notice that Caucasian commercial farmers were mass producing crops while holding positions in industry, commerce or the service sector? You are asked to run a farm today and you want a Mitsubishi 4 x 4 without a single ton of maize harvested through you. Watch Australian, Argentine or mid-western US or Canadian films. You will see the manager on horseback patrolling their territory with the rough shod hands. They listen to advise from their charges. Communication becomes a two-way process, from the bottom going up either way like a railway line. You get promoted and you think you come from the moon. You have to talk to the workers wearing a space or jump suit, one way orders from the top. They will let you drill for water in a sewerage septic tank!

“One day you will need a wife. There is no need to be famous, monied while having eight children with six different women. Children are like rough diamonds. They need one cutter or polisher. Look at the rich families that own the majority shares in diamond, banking and insurance industry for instance. They have two to three children while we try to beat Solomon and King David with concubines and brats uncountable. You will support what other men are helping you father.

“You can’t do it indefinitely. You will create another Adolf Hitler, Mussolini, Idi Amin or the Yorkshire Ripper. Look after your own children with your own wife. Do not compete to procreate with the other men on women you share. Never ever fight for a woman with another man. It is not worth jail or casualty department time. Haven’t you ever seen trees that grow away from the forest lot? You end up paying maintenance and giving a name to Henry’s dunderheads. Those children will grow up to fill the penitentiary system. Most of the crooks who boast about fathering children they can’t maintain are as good as sterile goats.

“If you need drive a vehicle before you get married, count out the monetary persons in the bars, taverns, bottle stores and shebeens. They give service for a fee. Atrocious! It is like eating rubber as a substitute for chewing gum. Ask Sir Alex Fergusson, he knows the difference between chewing gum and rubber at least. Leave the commercial sex workers for the older and tattered generation that is going to the morgue faster than they should. If need be that you drive such a vehicle before marriage, wear a seat belt and a helmet. Avoid premarital sex at all costs. Most mistakes have been made by both sexes during ejaculation! It takes less than six reckless minutes for you to have a death timeline."

"You see Keith, I am talking to you frankly. There is no need for me to marry four women and have twenty-four children. I assume each woman will have six babies. Then I will end up with a hundred grandchildren, forty great-grandchildren and probably twenty great-great-grandchildren. If all of them become welfare cases that will be a national liability. If they all become national assets, it should have been written in history and every religious book like for Christians the Bible, the Torah for Jews, the Koran for Moslems on and on. The dark side of Tshaka the Zulu was the mistreatment of his mother in a harem of women belonging to one man. The dark side of Adolf Hitler was his lack of paternal care. The dark side of those knife and gun welding inner city gangs in the USA’s no go area suburbs are absent fathers. All the industrial and commercial leaders do not come from polygamous families. It means the monogamous ones are more blessed, less stress and you don’t overpopulate. Never ever fall for that ideology to have several wives and a squad of robbers as your children!”

“Point noted sir Sedgwick!"

"Seat belts is an analog. You should catch my drift. Marry well young man. Angels never come in human form. There is never a good girl. It is you who should be ready to be a good husband. Look right then left. Check the road straight ahead for bends, contours, ridges, corrugations and speed humps. You don’t change a person. That is God’s duty. He is a patient God. He let Noah build and talk of the Ark for a century. Your future spouse may change after we have held your memorial and grave stone unveiling service. Keep your eyes dimmed. Cricket may open a can of worms with juicy looking different races, colours and creeds of potential women dates. Keep your eyes glued on the bat, the ball and the gloves, not your zip. Don’t go gloating on body make up models! When they rust you will regret.

“You will never fulfill the needs of the flesh. Some young urchins I sponsored did well in different fields including soccer. One of them went to Denmark. At the airport they saw their first Caucasian lady. Within two months they were living with a single mother. They have been dodging maintenance ever since, their own children and those of mothers they took on board. They had no idea when you sign the adoption and marriage papers you are taking on board someone else’s brats. Their magic legs no longer dance on the turf, they are now haulage truck drivers because of beer, wine, sex and drugs. Think! Most of my age mates are dead. They wanted every available woman who also wanted every available handsome paying man. Here I am still kicking and going past fifty-five.

“If you get winded enough to be a mechanic, work in an inspection pit underground. Don’t use the ordinary ground. The vehicle can come off the jack or supports. If you put it on top of cricks, they can crumble. If you put it on top of rocks, they can shift while you are underneath poking at its intestines. You will be like a hunter with his arm inside a rhinocerous’s anal canal when it wakes up. It will crash you. When you decide to be a mechanic, use a covered flash light and goggles to poke underneath the engine or the under carriage. If you do not wear protective gear, you can get dust, engine parts and hot dripping oil all over you. Oliver Mtukudzi explained in Korekore language, unetsva. You burn.

"This is all an analogue about premarital sex and investment if you catch my drift. You want married women? Try going into the game reserve with a load of fresh blood dripping meat on your motorcycle carrier. That will give you an answer about them married women or engaged girls for that matter. If you make it a habit to taste the under carriage of girls, loose women or the single mothers, one day you will hit muddy ground without 4 x 4 capabilities. You will get stuck. The leeches will celebrate on you. The big ticks will come and get blotted on you. Better off marry early if you can’t contain. Even the Bible has wisdom, instead of burning, marry if you can’t hold on. Read the book of Proverbs, not to become a pastor. Wisdom contained therein works across all the faiths or those not practicing, even the atheists use it.

“If you can make your choice to marry early then be wise too. I married at twenty-five/six to a woman three years my junior. I saw her in nurses’ uniform. I was gone. She stopped wearing those white dresses ages ago when she did her two degrees and moved to work then head an NGO. Don't promise to marry. When you become famous the ex-s will sue you. Don't be an internal combustion engine when it comes to testing the body work, springs and shock absorbers of different women. You will be bound to burn out. Even vehicles have layers of paint. Don't let the makeup fool you. Don't use after burners to run the bandits out, they will wear you out.

"To make a short story longer or book length fiction listen. There are prickly pears in the wild grasslands or forests here in the country. They give off a delicious fruit that you can preen off the mother lode with a little bit of risk against pricks on the fingers. Now let us say there are no prickly pears in Chikwaka or Chabwino wherever you hail from in Goromonzi. You pick one prickly pear fruit off somewhere and eat it. You go herding cattle in the bush. The next year there are prickly pear plants somewhere giving off fruit some years down the line. The herdsmen for goats and cattle risk their little palms and fingers picking the fruit, eating and using the bush toilet. Within a few years there are hundreds of prickly pear fruits in the grasslands, fields, orchards, cemeteries and forests. The gist is not about germinating fruit trees. It is about one village boy contracting HIV/AIDS and a decade later most of the village young men are lying six feet under in burial mounds because they partook of forbidden prickly pear fruit. You catch my wanderings?”

“They should have made you a sage or guru Sir. Sedgwick.”

"Beware of some of so called sports agents. They behave like presidential security guards of some quarters who think they are guarding immortals. Within the industry there are hyenas in bridesmaids' clothes! Hyenas laugh, you know. Let those deadly toothed smiles fool you. The next you know a huge chunk of your flesh will be missing. You can sing the song about Sam who loved the girl next door. He may have suffered from reticence or meekness enveloped in stupidity. He did not propose. Now she is gone, moved out. It happens in life. It happened to me too. “

“The classic hit song is called Living Next Door To Alice by Smokie Robinson,” Keith replied. “My father used to bowl it at the top of his voice on mother’s birthday celebrations. That and Café Carolina by Kenny Rogers, Amanda by Don Williams and other old classics.”

“Good. I was teaching as a relief untrained teacher in the rural hamlets. While my friends were running into rural huts at night to make school age girls pregnant I did my chartered management accounts studies with so much time to read and every weekend I was in town to sit before lecturers. Twice yearly, I had to sit a battery of about six subjects for about three continuous years. Others imbed on alcohol. I had lectures, study modules and projects to undertake. I joined the bank while others were starting at college. Here we are. Some sports agents are as bad as those people sending unsolicited emails that you have won lotteries/competitions you never entered. That is like thinking someone will be thrilled to be told they will be paying maintenance for a child they never birthed or fathered.

“Seriously, if you are going to part with a percentage of your earning every month, make sure you think before signing any contract. What is the use of being tied up to an agent who doesn’t even have your file? When you hit the jackpot, suddenly the agent claims performance in court. It is you finding them work to do through their bevy of lawyers not the reverse. You might end up paying millions to something you negotiated on your own. Send out feelers out of the country even lowly teams. There are clubs in Namibia, Kenya, and Tanzania to name a few. Make your mark in competitions. One day someone will pick you up or literally discover you. When your play days are over try coaching. Try it outside the country, here they don’t pay much. Sports people in here are like mice, they get peanuts!

“If you ever consider coaching without a headline name, start with the juniors at primary school. Create a name and a mark. News travels very fast by word of mouth. Your trophy cabinet will talk for you as well. Cricket is in you. You did well to agree to today’s match. It raises your local profile. You need a regional one as well. If you do regional, even if it costs you, create an international profile. Pay your own way through air fares accommodation in bed & breakfast establishments or YWCA hostels. You won’t de eating burghers for lunch as long as you play cricket!"

"Thank you for the wise advice."

"I am still around. You hear politicians killing their crowds. Hey, we need donors, my goodness! What a sacrilege. What a blasphemy? You need investors not donors. Anglo American, BHP Australia, Toyota International, Tata Holdings, Hyundai Consolidated and De Beers were not built with donor aid. Invest, don't wait on donors. Start with a dollar. You were very correct, don't talk about it. Do it! If we all waited to die, we would be miserable. A billion comma five miserable Chinese nationals. In business don’t worry about what you should invest in. Find out your most passionate economic thing and run your heart there. If you like selling on a stall, okay, be the stall supplier. If you like selling tomato as a vendor, supply the vendors with tomatoes. If you like tuck-shops, get a truck and supply those tuck-shops. If you stay above the mud path you will never get bogged down. Why do you think eagles maintain dominance on riding thermals instead of fighting the wind? Are you going to be an eagle or a guinea fowl? I have never heard of a turtle dove eating an eagle yet the opposite has a number of its prey to eat.

"Let me play snooker with the investment banking crew over there. Listen to their intelligent conversations. Ideas float through the air. Word of mouth or otherwise. What you need is discerning the good ones. Not every idea works. Some people are blubber mouths at giving ideas they never use. Don't comment or interrupt too much. If a fool keeps his mouth shut even the wise people won't know any better. Some ideas are bordering on madness. Think before you leap. One biblical king was told to dog style his father’s wives on a ramp in public. A desecration. He went for bad advise. How can you get told to have your father’s concubines reverse park against your midriff in the open?

“Common sense says no. Listen to an old fool like me. One day there was 13, 000-m² of land. No one bought the land though it was on offer for years. No one wanted it. Some consortium made up of immigrants that started from scratch after escaping decapitation in the Lebanese civil war teamed up, bought it and started building and selling. They sold three bed townhouses off plan within a gated community. Upstairs were the bedrooms and downstairs the utility rooms including double carports. I invested there during construction. I bought three of the off plan units. Today I have three townhouses for rent! Can’t remember where I put the profits from investments. Must be in the shops I rent out somewhere within the light density suburbs.

“And what does the local indigenous business people say? We want shares in the business. Ideas that are blank canvases they don’t rise an eyelid even if you advertise. They want in when the butter is now churning out. They want the cream not the dough in the cake. Why didn’t you want in when the farmer was buying the milking head? The finished units have changed hands several times. They are prime property in an area people dumbed their refuse in Meyrick Park. I just know how to check for my rentals from the estate agents."

The businessman stood up and left to play snooker. Keith knew he couldn't be given any financial offerings by Sedgwick tonight. There would be deposits in his Barclays Bank account as had been happening for months from different supporters and sponsors. He chewed on the snippets of good advice given checking each for strength. He determined that if cricket was not making the bacon in a year’s time, he would invest more in his chicken runs and piggery projects in his rural enclave of Goromonzi. Both he, Kennedy and his sisters were in there thick as thin to improve their financial welfares.

Keith was nursing a Coke checking the screen for the English soccer match happening when a team of ladies entered the common room. He was taken aside by their excited chatter. They discussed the fairways. They knew the game of golf better than he did. He knew more of cricket maybe than them. In a year’s time, Keith thought, I will know more about a 5, 000-bird fowl and a 200-pig project than them. They were soon ordering drinks or coffee/tea. They were of mixed race. Their unifying factor was ladies golf. They all wore green /blue crew neck t-shirts with either three quarter shorts or skirts in khaki colour or green. There were no gold club colours. They seemed to have agreed to one system.

“Hi.”

He raised his glass to one lady wearing khaki skirts and green t-shirt. The skirt had a very broad waist coming down like a funnel over her abdomen. He wondered why she had such a noticeable hindquarters. On her feet she had white canvas trainers with white socks folded neatly. It reminded him of secondary school days. He was impressed upon to wear shoes, socks and be smart with inspections daily to check even finger nails. The teachers who made inspections never smelt their behinds because of possibility of accidental release of methane gases. Then he didn't forget to bathe in the mornings. Or was it that he had started taking the fancy of girl from other villages he hardly visited?

She adjusted her t-shirt downwards covering a wide swathe of good looking light ebony stomach which had been inadvertently visible. She had on a green cape with an advert slogan. She was tall with flesh to spare over her body cavity. She wasn’t the most attractive woman in the vicinity. She was nevertheless good looking and younger than most of her compatriots. Something had just drawn him to her like a dung beetle to fresh droppings or a moth to a naked flame.

“What are you doing here?” she queried.

Keisha greeted him with an outburst. She closed her hand over her mouth. There was excitement in her eyes which grew bigger then moderated back to normal.

“I was learning a thing or two about golf since you challenged me the other time. How is everyone here and at home too?” he asked.

"They are fine. You and your elder brother, how are you faring?"

"As usual, not complaining."

“How are you going home?” she had asked.

“There is a father figure I didn’t want to bother driving me further. He intended leaving me in town.”

She came to where he was sitting. His host was playing pool nursing his fourth pint. He liked the smile which Keisha displayed. She pointed the seven ladies to him. Two were white, one of Asian extraction with one mixed blood the rest were chocolate coloured in various textures light to mid-light none were very dark. She gave him their names while he shook their hands before they excused the two.

“In an hour or less I could drop you near your street,” she had replied. “A good turn deserves another. I was terribly late that day. You were a knight in shining armour. I won’t forget your assist.”

“Thanks Keisha.”

“Can I get you something to eat?"

“No someone has already paid the price for my stomach. Thank you all the same. Maybe next time we will have a meal. What a sport you have in golf, obstacles, water, sand dunes and green links you would lie on in the midst of winter and enjoy the morning sun?”

“That is our game. In come countries they actual see alligators in the water hazards.”

If his stomach had shelves, they were all used up. Only the occasional drink could get in to lubricate the food. She joined the ladies. He watched Trans World Sport on the screen. His favourite sport of cricket was not mentioned on this segment. He had never seen cricket mentioned there either.

She checked on him forty minutes later. She looked beautiful, professional and full of motherhood maturity when she collected him. She brought him a 375-ml Pepsi can and potato crisp packet. He introduced Keisha to Sedgwick as a sister who did indigenous jobs. Sedgwick gave her one of his business cards. He paid his respects to Sedgwick. He was driven out by Keisha.

“I didn’t know you could drive.”

“I do,” she said. The Honda CV-R purred on its way towards Hatfield. It was better than checking out the kombis that late. Their fares would have gone up by 50% if not double. “So where were you coming from?”

“I was here at a game of golf with a big cricket sponsor and supporter's buddies. Yesterday I went to Shamva for a T-20 local cricket game made up of invited players from all walks of life. Our wicket keeper is a local hospital administrator. There was quite a crowd, farmers, miners and the rest of the public though our game is still more of Asian and European extraction support than indigenous.“

The wicket keeper had been placed to bat at number seven. He had helped Keith build a stable partnership. His dances at every end of his run had kept the crowd laughing. It was more of swinging his bum left and right. Then he did a back to front movement that was a weebit suggestive. The seamers, spin, medium and fast paced bowlers had tried to get him out. He had remained steady parrying away balls to prevent leg before wicket. He kept shouting “Wise” for an emphatic no to Keith or “run”. He wasn’t that bad at batting. He was just careful. He recognized Keith for being a good batsman. He didn’t want to cost the team an early wicket with three tail enders remaining.

“I did golf with the girls. If you can call them girls. Besides Aisha the Caucasian, I am the youngest of the lot. Most are having children in middle or high school.”

“I decided to learn a little about the sport you said you like so much. I did a few basics with the ‘boys’. I also watched how they created their shots.”

“And here we are,” she had replied. “Are you stopping by the shops?”

“Not exactly,” he had replied. “My friend bought me a lunch, in-between snacks and a light supper. That is enough for the night. That adds up to the beef roast and servings we had last night. I need give my body time to relax, digest and sleep.”

“How old are you Keith?”

“Twenty-four,” he had replied. “Are you single, sorry to ask?”

“Why?” she asked.

“I just thought it odd from that day. You look very mature. You seem so much older than me. At times looks can deceive when it comes to age plus or minus.”

“What is wrong with walking a married woman home at that time? What happened to the gentlemen of old who tipped their hats to the ladies and white people of course?” she asked. “Though it was done because of racism it was a good way to respect the women and the elderly. Can't say the same respect holds in some societies were they view women the same way a stock farmer views their ducks, geese, chickens, goats, sheep, horses, mares, donkeys and cattle. When you have a low view of something, you treat it low. It's called prejudice.”

“It’s just socially unacceptable. You could end up with a good Samaritan in the morgue,” he replied. "It’s not proper for free scaling males to befriend married ladies. Some husbands, most of them would not understand that."

“Most of my age mates are mothers of toddlers. I am still single. I am not desperate. I am twenty-five/six years old. My skin tone and bulk make me look like I am older than I am. I guess my stomach pouch makes men think I have been a mother before.”

“Thank you for the concern after I walked you home. Thanks for phoning to check on me,” he had replied. “As to getting married early well, I have no qualms against it. If you are running around trying to find a footing I now understand why some people get to their mid-thirties before tying the knot. Most of my former rural schoolmates who stayed local are fathers by now. The ladies are running on the third or fourth child. No offense to the ladies.”

“I was afraid a Good Samaritan could fall victim to a few boys waiting in a bush somewhere. Where do you live?” she had asked. “I know we are within the same proximity.”

“It’s a rented accommodation which is at the back of a rundown house. We are about three streets away from Scott Road. There is a groove in between which is grass covered in summer. From Scott Road we turn into Gregory Street which is my home turf for now. You head further north east towards this Orchard Lane. When I first came into Hatfield, free days I used to walk around to get a fix on our abode. I have an idea of where Orchard Lane is. I normally get called to repair jobs within Hatfield. There are folks who are trying side hustles that include trucks they rent out or which ferry produce like tobacco and mainly cotton/maize. I know as far as St. Patricks where I have some repair call-ups.”

“Can I drop you in Gregory Street?” she inquired.

“That will be okay Keisha. Sorry to bother you. You can take Chandler right heading south as it were into Rockfern Drive which will be on the east to your left then we will come into Scott Road.”

“Not to mention. I am just returning a good turn. From Orchard Lane I normally drive up Alexandria Drive towards the north east to west into Airport Road. That is the fastest way to get into the city. Alexandria Drive however has section that need repair work. Besides that, at night, the side exposed to the airport perimeter has wide swatches of estate that are prime hiding spots for thieves.”

She had dropped him at the gate in Gregory Street. They had had a five minute conversation while she was parked near the gate. Some things were impromptu. They stayed in their memory shelves for friendship for ions.

“How many are in your family Keisha?” he had asked.

“Our family is a girls’ netball team. If I include from the paternal and maternal quarters, close cousins from our aunts and uncles, we can make a full netball team plus reserves. Other teams have a boy here and there. Ours has no soccer keeper from the male fraternity. There are four of us girls, no brother. There is I, Keisha, Keandra, Karla and Kathrine. I would have liked to have a brother. The good Lord did not permit me to have a male sibling. Unfortunately my father had five sisters no brother so no immediate male cousin on the paternity side.”

“Interesting.”

“What’s your rural faith like?” she queried.

“The main churches that have penetrated the rural areas are the old faithful ones, the traditional churches. These new Pentecostals are kicking each other in the urban areas to get converts while ignoring the rural areas. Maybe it is because the rural areas are full of poor peasant farmers, long distances, lack of social amenities and other hardships. In our area there is Roman Catholic, Methodist Church in Zimbabwe, United Methodist, apostolic sects, Salvation Army and Forward in Faith Ministries. My father is very active. You only have to listen to him when he uses his bass voice.”

“At least yoiur home area is very urbanized in that it is very well known, transport is not a problem. I remember seeing a direction poster pointing eastwards in Marondera for Goromonzi.”

“The differences are the different localities. Some parts of Goromonzi are near Murewa and others very close to Marondera which is a wide swathe of territory. You are the first?” he queried. "Much unlike me where we have four sisters, an elder brother Kennedy and myself. By some arrangement, freak of nature we close with a younger sister. I only have one person to plot against three elder sisters. I only have one person to reveal the secret if she gets too excited. My parents should have given my youngest sister the name Shrek or Shriek. She was always revealing secrets. Instead by a fluke of luck, they named her Theodora. She was always revealing little secrets. We used to fight a lot as younger siblings, not anymore.”

“Unfortunately yes by biological arrangement I couldn't control. I would have liked someone else to have the role of leading the siblings, us. My little sister is two years my junior. She has been married a year and a half. She is a mother of a boy.”

“And what of Karla and Kathrine?”

“Karla is doing Pharmacy at University of Zimbabwe. Katherine is at Mary Mount Mission. You said it is you and your brother Kennedy?” she asked.

“Three elder sisters Aquiline, Jessica, Francesca all of them married with children. Then two of us are boys Kennedy and I. I always almost forget there is a sibling sister Theodora at the tail end of the cart. Both parents are in Goromonzi rural. My parents are ordinary rural peasants. My father used to work as an office orderly for an office equipment concern. It was sold to a consortium of indigenous business people after independence. They downsized the staff starting with the orderly. My father is one of those old folks that used to dress in smart three piece suits complete with heeled shoes. Then he would put about two thumb tacks under the heels. My father liked tap dancing. When he danced on cement floors there were clicks. He would move his feet up and down or left and right while dancing. Their age group sang songs by Mahotela Queens like Ngizokuthengela isinkwa nobanana something like that in Zulu.”

“I know those dances from the Ndebele region.”

“Yes, he would click his heels together. I tried it several times. I ended up limping. He didn’t limp. The old folks who used to wear those tail coats if you still remember them.”

“I have seen them on television including cartoons with a bee dressed in one. They are pretty impressive. You find them in hotel vestibules especially when a group of tourists is arriving. So what farming activity are they involved in?”

“In arable terms, they grow where possible cotton, maize, soya beans, ground nuts, beans, green vegetables when the season is kind and sweet potatoes there at their place. Animal husbandry it’s the usual herd of cattle including the draught oxen plus pigs, goats and chickens in a large fowl run for commercial purposes.”

“Thanks for meeting you again Keith. Keep in touch.”

“My pleasure ma’am.”

He had watched her reverse and gun the vehicle away. He left the gate for the road watching. Her indicator light flashed to the right. There were older women who took on younger men. Was she on that hit list? Why had he meet her the second time? Why had he wanted to learn about the game she said she loved so much?

© Copyright tmagorimbo July 2017