Hours later and I'm done, completely. I didn't think it would be possible but here I am with all of my work done. Maybe I should ask Jonathan for help more often.
I started stretching from my chair as Jonathan got up from where he was siting on the ground.
"Thanks for your help Jonathan. You really saved me there," I laughed knowing he wouldn't really get it.
I looked over at him to see him looking at my bookshelf, staring at the many books I had stored there.
"Oh, do you want to read one of them?"
"Huh? Oh! No, sorry. I was just admiring your collection."
"I wouldn't call it a collection. There aren't enough books to give it that kind of name."
I got up and walked over to where he was and pulled out a random book.
"I've read all of these at least twice. Some so many times I could probably recite them."
I laughed at my joke but didn't hear Jonathan with me. I looked over at him to see if he was at least smiling.
He looked like he was about to cry.
"Are you okay? Was it something I said?"
I was worried. Sure he always was quiet and had that kind of sad look on his face but this was a bit much.
"I was just remembering what it was like... at home."
Oh. That was it.
I wanted to know what his backstory was but I felt like that might be too much.
But it wouldn't hurt to try, would it?
"What were you remembering?"
It was too much judging by his silence. But I already said the words so a bit too late now.
He looked at me, his eyes glistening as the tears were there but not falling. He looked like a sad puppy; one that was hurt and thrown away like trash. It pulled at my own heart and I started to want to cry myself.
"Promise you won't tell anyone? Not even the others?"
The others? Does that mean the guys don't know either?
"Yeah. Promise."
I was curious. I wanted to know one, so I could help him in some way and two, so I could get to know him better.
He looked to the side and sighed just a little.
"It's kind of a long story so you might want to sit down."
Immediately I walked to my bed and sat down. I looked at him seriously as if a sign to let him know I was ready.
He took a deep breath and started, still looking at the ground.
"I wasn't exactly born in a good home. We were a pretty poor family and my dad was a drunk who abused us every chance he got. My mom did her best to support us but all the money ended up getting spent on that man's beer. I did my best to help out but I could only do so much."
He paused as if remembering the hard life he had.
I wasn't expecting him to give me his whole life story.
"It was hard but school helped in a way. Not with friends though. I was pretty scared around people with how my dad was so I stuck to myself and became pretty shy. I liked to learn as it filled my head with anything but the sounds of my dad yelling and my mom screaming. But it wasn't enough. I still went home everyday. So I read. I read all the books I could. I went to the closest public library I could everyday to read away my problems."
He paused again and swallowed hard.
"But one day I lost track of time and got home late. My dad didn't like that and he got so mad at me and he started throwing things at me. Mom came in and tried to stop him as any mother would do so and didn't coward off like the other times."
I watched as he clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes shut while grinding his teeth.
"That bastard hit my mom so hard to make her stop she fell unconscious. I got so mad I couldn't take it anymore!"
His voice started raising and I looked at him shocked at his new manor.
"I ran up to hm close enough to smell the whisky in his breath and grabbed him by the collar. I yelled at him and spat him in his face before trying to land a blow on him. But..."
His fists were shaking a bit as he clenched them even tighter. I bet his fingernails were deep in his skin by now.
"I wasn't strong enough! He pushed me down before I could even do anything and hit me to his hearts content. He called me things and hurt me until he thought I learned my lesson. When he finished he just got up and walked back to grab another drink before heading into his room."
He sniffed and it was then I realized he was crying.
"That bastard didn't think twice about how he hurt me or mom. I didn't want tot stay there any longer. I just couldn't. So that same night I packed some stuff and left that damn place."
I was shocked with his sudden use of language but decided to look past it.
"I wandered until I found the orphanage where the others were. By then I was robbed of my stuff, weak and starving. Before I could even get to the door I collapsed. They took me in no question. But I kept away from the others. I hated myself for what I did and what happened so I made myself stay away from the others. Besides, I couldn't let them find out. But soon enough I gave in and became a part of the group."
He looked up at me, his eyes red from crying so much.
"Please don't tell them any of this. I'm scared they'll think of me differently if they do find out. I don't want to be alone like that. I don't want them to think of me as a monster like my father. I-"
He stopped only to sob and fall to the ground.
I was frozen. I couldn't think. He went through so much pain and still was so worried about things. He didn't deserve this.
Before I knew it I was on the ground with him, hugging him. I felt him tighten at the sudden feeling of me on him but he soon relaxed wrapping his arms around me. I held him close and gently rubbed his soft hair trying to calm him down.
"It's okay. I'll always be here for you no matter what. And no one will hurt you here. I promise."
It hurt me to see him like this, to know he'd suffer so much. To know I couldn't do anything to help him, not much anyway. It was something burned in his past that would always haunt him. If at all the only thing I could do was comfort him and be there when he needed me.
I felt him as his arms started to pull me closer and his tears stopped. He dug his head more onto my chest and sighed. I didn't mind it. As long as I was comforting him.
"Thank you Samantha. I'm glad I met you and I don't regret my feelings for you either."
My eyes shot open as the last part of what he said started to fully register to me. I opened my mouth to confirm if what he said was true, but before I could say anything on the subject the doorbell rang from downstairs.