Ornithogalum

I felt anxious whenever I thought about turning into an adult without achieving something. I always give enough effort for everything I thought would help me in the future, yet I still felt uneasy. I felt like I didn't do anything and something felt amiss. I suppose that was a part of the reason why I was pushing myself (though, I enjoyed it) learning and reading different books each day and night, trying to prepare the fragile me for the future.

I wondered when had I started to think this way. Was it when I was in middle school? Or did it occur to me to think this way further back in grade school? The answer was the usual.

Days came by, and soon came Sunday—My date with Eimi had arrived. Or so what I wanted to say but I didn't really feel anything special to it, except it was my first time hanging with someone aside from my big sister alone. I originally intended to follow the book and just ask Eimi to hang out but when I brought up this idea to Senior Sasaki—by accident, of course—she instantly crossed her arms and flatly rejected my idea. I wondered why I had to follow Senior Sasaki but... *Oh well, I supposed there was nothing wrong with listening to upperclassmen's advice. Though hers was quite unreliable.* I knew it yet I still accepted her proposal. *And that proposal led us to where we are, right now.*

In the distance I saw Eimi fidgeting around, constantly peaking at her small mirror as she fixing her bangs. I had an urge to take my time and watch her but decided to call out her name.

"Eimi!"

For a second, she froze and a bit later she jolted as though something ran on her from top to bottom.

"Sa...Sakura?" she looked at me with her hand still on her hair. *Yes, I am Fujihara Sakura.*

When she noticed my eyes falling to her mirror, her cheeks blushed and frantically pulled her mirror to her back. I debated telling her there's nothing to be embarrassed with that but *oh well...*

Evidently, I still had this '*it won't really affect me and my future so let be it.'* attitude.

I didn't really have a designated place for us to go so we decided to meet up at our local mall which had a lot of memories of me and my big sister. I vaguely remembered her peeking behind my door with movie tickets in her hand, trying to persuade me or something. I considered declining her invitation since *watching movies wouldn't help me in the future,* but ended up accepting it anyway. Declining someone who had already made an effort was quite rude, after all. Then again, perhaps it was her way to make me accept it without asking any question.

Reminiscing, I looked at Eimi who had her head downcast as though trying to avoid my gaze. Something told me not to tolerate this act but if I put it into words, I knew I would hurt someone. Silently, I shrugged it and buried it under my thoughts.

*Social interaction is quite hard...* I mused to myself.

Granted, It was much easier to seclude myself along with my books for the rest of my life but I knew that wasn't possible. In middle school, I was forced to be aware of other people's feeling. Something that I'd never thought about when I was in grade school. That was why until today, I was still at loss whenever this sort of things happened. I have a lot of knowledge but lack in experience, I tried being mindful of my weaknesses but it only reminded me how selfish of a person I was.

"Sorry... Sakura."

Her tiny voice pulled me away from my thought. Eimi, with her cheek reddened and her eyes as though in a verge of tears, called out to me.

"Eh? Why... "

Baffled, I tried to ask myself but couldn't remember anything that could make her sad. *Was it because she was avoiding me?* That was the most obvious answer yet part me of whispered that there was something more to it. Something that I couldn't seem to notice.

I watched her shoulder trembling and couldn't help myself to pat her head as she wiped her tears. I stroked her hair gently.

I had no idea what to do in this sort of situation.

Admittedly, I'd never had an experienced with handling someone's emotions. It seemed the word "Comfort" was missing in my vocabulary.

Running my fingers through her hair reminded me of what my Big Sister used to do when I was a child. In the least, doing that might make her felt at ease the way I felt before.