Self-Reflection

"Uh, my head hurts. I think I drank too much last night."

I clutched the side of my head with an ice bag as I sat on the couch in my living room. I had another ice bag for my left leg which felt sore from all the walking around me and Kiara had last night. We drank all throughout the night, she also ended up staying over. We settled on who got to sleep on my bed over a game of Super Plumber Kart. I had been playing this game instead of doing book reports for school, so I was confident in my abilities. My memory was a bit blurred though as to who won, but I woke up on the living room couch, so it's most likely that I let her win.

"I really am too kind sometimes," I crossed my arms and smiled proudly at how humble I found myself to be.

"Still, after all the celebrating we did, I thought the place would be messier."

I looked around the room to see my entire unit to be spotless.

"Unless Blight suddenly grew a heart and physical limbs, I can only guess Kiara cleaned up for me… again," I bury my face in my palms over how much I've abused her kindness. No matter how crazy and hectic our discussions get, she really has been a lot of help.

I stared at the ceiling and noticed that the light was dimmer than usual. I began to think of how my life would continue from now on.

"Judging from yesterday's incident and everything Blight has told me, no matter what I do, I'll end up just like Marcus. Blight also said something about me forgetting something about my past. A deep trauma I buried within that explains why he looks different from other traumas."

I tried to piece together what I can out of all the information I gathered in the past few days.

"My biggest concern is those dreams I've been having."

I recall the silhouettes I saw in my dreams. The people who shouted and threw things at me. The name of three distinct figures I saw, Kieran, Alex, and Rhea.

"Were they people I knew of in my past?"

I poke and prod the deepest crevices inside my mind, but I can't seem to remember anything like that.

"Are you doing some detective work there, Sherlock?"

Blight suddenly appeared beside me on the couch. I had not seen him since he disappeared last night, and we didn't exactly end on good terms. I thought twice on whether I should ask him about my theories last night.

Wait, can't he read my mind right now?

I turned to face Blight who had stood up to look through the glass screen just before the balcony. I couldn't see his face and his body gave no indication of what he was thinking.

Although, me thinking about what he's thinking right now is something he knows by reading my mind, right?

All the brain cells in my head were working hand in hand to answer these questions. After a while of deducing the truth behind these mysteries, I felt something snap in my brain, a sensation I knew all too well. It happens most often when I try to read a page from my university's Calculus books.

"I can't find answers by myself, maybe I can ask someone about this."

"Finally decided to check yourself in the nut house Blyth? I heard the psychiatry sessions there are paid for by the hospital itself."

Blight finally breaks his long and chilling silence. The confident smirk that showed on his face annoyed me as always, but it sure beats having him angry like last night. I could still remember the feeling, as if sharp needles were just millimeters away from piercing my skin.

"You'd do well to remember that feeling, Blyth."

"Oh, now you can read my mind?"

I am once again reminded of how irritating he can be. Despite the annoyed feeling I had, I remember something important.

If he says he's me, then doesn't that mean that I'm irritated at myself?!

"So even YOU can't stand yourself, huh Blyth?"

He goes on another one of his laughing tangents, but there's another thing I remembered. Another moment of deep thought goes by and I finally find the answer.

That's right! Of course he of all people would know!

"What's with that expression Blyth? You look like a loser who just lost his virginity."

"Where the hell did you get that analogy? I mean, THAT'S NOT WHAT'S IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW!"

Blight rolls on the floor while cradling his stomach and pointing his finger at my face. His eyes begin to water from all the laughing he's been doing.

On second thought, maybe I prefer him being angry.

I decided to let it go and proceed with my line of thought. Blight eventually gets tired of all the laughing and rests on the floor.

"So, Blight, I want to ask you a question."

"Is this about your past?"

Even though he was sitting on the floor several inches below me, I still got this feeling of inferiority from him. Even so, he was the only person I could think of to ask, so I have to do this.

"I wanna ask you about these things I've been seeing in my dreams, those visions you showed me." I recall the silhouettes and the rioting crowd gathering around me.

"You once said that you are the manifestation of all the trauma and pain I had ever since I was born. So I take it you're the best person to ask about this, right?"

In an instant, Blight disappears and reappears behind me.

"Well of course, I know everything about you! So it makes sense that I know of these people, Alex and Kieran. Oh, and poor, sweet, sweet Rhea."

I felt my entire body quake at the mere mention of those names. Blight's pained expression on his face turned to one of amusement as he picked up one of the bottle caps from last night's festivities. He started to run it through his fingers with ease, but I then noticed how his fingers have changed appearance. The skin was darker than before and it gave off a bony texture. As if there was only the lightest layer of skin on the bones. I decided to pay it no mind and proceeded with the questions.

"Just who exactly are these people? And why can't I seem to remember them? No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to remember anything about them."

"What do you remember about your past, Blyth?"

"I… was a normal kid like the rest. I had no friends and went straight home right as school ended. I excelled in my studies, well enough that we moved out of the suburbs and into the city so I could study in a renowned university."

I stood up and walked towards the photos we had on the wall. I noticed they were all of me and my mother. They were photos of moments in my life that I could remember clearly. My first day in high school, my graduation, and the day I left for college. I hold the portrait of me with my mother on the stage presenting my diploma. I paused for a brief moment and realized something.

"My life was perfect, maybe even, too perfect. I don't think I ever experienced pain or sadness growing up."

I sat back down on the couch with the portrait in my hands.

"And what of your father, Blyth?"

"My dad? Mom said he died before I was born, so I never got to know him."

Blight reappears onto the coffee table in the living room. He sits in a confident pose with his left hand over his face, as if trying to conceal his amusement from my answer.

"Is that so?"

"What do you mean?"

Just what does Blight know that I don't?

"You think I'd just tell you everything, Blyth? Now where's the fun in that? I want you to find all these things out for yourself, and when you finally do, Blyth…

...I'll be there to push you over the edge"

He stared me down while maintaining his dominant pose. I could see and feel the dark aura coming from him. If he really is me, then what could've happened in my past that resulted in such an entity?

"We can continue this conversation later, Blyth. For now, you have a visitor."

I didn't understand what he meant until I heard my doorbell ring. I turned to look at Blight again and he seemed to have vanished again. I decided to leave the conversation at that.

"I think I've had enough revelations for one day. And the day's just started!"

I mutter to myself as I walk towards the door, expecting a refreshed Kiara to nag me about how I haven't cleaned myself up when it's so late in the morning. I looked into the mirror for a second and noticed how I wasn't exactly presentable.

Kiara might get angry if she sees me like this.

Not wanting to get yelled at first thing in the morning, I grabbed a fresh gray sweater and a pair of black jeans I had hung overnight on the balcony and proceeded to wash my face in the kitchen sink. As I was checking my breath for any traces of alcohol, the ringing from the doorbell grew even more intense.

"I heard you the first time Kiara! I'll be there in just a sec!"

After washing my face and quite possibly a new world record for total time it took to brush one's teeth, I walked to the door and grasped the doorknob when I noticed something strange. There was something in the shoe drawers that caught my eye.

Aren't those Kiara's shoes? Then who's knocking on my door?

It was too late to come up with any guesses as I had already opened the door by the time I noticed Kiara's things were still here. The person behind the door was a woman. She was wearing gloves and carrying a packet of disposable garbage bags. My eyes widened and so did hers.

"Blyth?"

"Mom? What are you doing here?"

Before she could answer my question, I heard the door to my room open and heavy footsteps drew closer to where I am now. It was Kiara.

"WHAT THE HELL LYTH! WHY ARE YOU SO NOISY SO EARLY IN THE MOR...ning."

Kiara's angered tone turned into a soft squeak after she noticed the person who was at the door. Her face went as red as a tomato, only then did she notice how she was still wearing her pajamas in front of me. Her embarrassed face turned into a furious one as her eyes were set on me.

"WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT YOU DUMB PERV!?"

As if by reflex, she picks up the shirt I had just taken off and throws it in my face. She then runs back into my room and I hear the lock switch on.

"Blyth, who's she?"

I felt an even more threatening aura coming from my mom as she spoke. I turned to her and she was giving me a stare that felt like there were knives piercing right through me. She was tapping her foot which indicated how she was waiting for an explanation.

"Uhm… mom. Would you like some coffee?"

She sighed and entered my unit and sat down at the kitchen table. The peaceful atmosphere I had earlier in my unit had turned upside down as my bedroom is now occupied by an angry demon that probably wanted to rip my face off. And my kitchen had an ice queen whose stare alone could send shivers that would render anyone immobile. All of a sudden, a bigger headache shows up. Blight reappears beside me.

"Well look at our lady's man over here. Who do you think is gonna kill you first? My money's on the orange haired chick!"

God, I could really use another speeding truck careening towards me right now.