Messages From Randi

"So you want?" asked Panji again. To determine whether his ears heard wrong or he was actually hallucinating.

"Yes, I want to. I want to marry you, be your wife. Be your life partner."

There was nothing Panji could do but smile widely, showing his teeth. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

There was a moment of silence, before Panji cleared his throat. He straightened his back slightly before reaching into his trouser pocket, causing a frown to form on Laras' forehead. A red velvet box was what Panji took out of his pocket.

"I learn from mistakes. Yesterday, I forced you. But now, you say yes. So, I'm not wrong, am I asking you to wear this ring?" Panji opened the box. Until you see a one-eyed gold ring.

"On the inside of this ring, I have engraved your name." Panji spoke again before gently tugging Laras' hand and pinning the ring on the girl's ring finger.

"Why my name? Why not just your name?"

There was some doubt before Panji answered it. "I am afraid you are angry."

Laras is well aware that she has been too rude and disrespectful to Panji all this time. As a result, Panji is always afraid to do anything related to Laras. In fact, he had to think over and over the words he would say to Laras.

"Panji, sorry, huh?" Laras said.

"Sorry, why?"

"I'm sorry that all this time I treated you badly. I was always angry with you, I always blamed you, I always hated you. In fact, I need you. A week you left me, it feels like half of me is missing. Turns out, it's you. So, don't be shy with me anymore. Because soon, I too will be completely yours."

"Mine?" asked Panji, wanting to make sure once more.

"Yes, yours." Laras explained. "We're getting married right?"

"Yeah, we're getting married."

***

Both Yuni and Iwan, they smiled broadly when Panji came. Their smiles did not fade to the same foot, they only grew wider when Panji said that he would marry Laras in the near future.

"Finally, Laras realized it too. If all this time, all he needed was you. Not Randi, or anyone else."

Is a big mistake. Because until now, Laras still loves Randi. Her love didn't even fade. Disappointed indeed, with Randi's attitude which tends to be cowardly and run away from responsibility. But, don't blame Laras because the heart is very difficult to control. She really loves Panji, she needs Panji, she wants Panji to be her. But her little heart sometimes screams. Shouting Randi's name over and over again until Laras was fed up and wanted to remove her heart from her body.

"I have prepared the date. Two weeks from now, you don't mind, do you, Ras?" Panji asked the woman who was still engrossed in her daydream.

"Ras?"

"Huh? What? Next week?" Laras own nervousness.

"Not next week, but in two weeks. Do you think it's too soon?" Laras cash shook her head. "No, I am agree."

Panji smiled. He did not hesitate to take Laras hand and stroked it gently. He even occasionally kissed the back of her hand.

"Tonight we're fitting clothes at the boutique yesterday, you don't mind right?" Laras shook her head. She knew that Panji had been waiting for this moment.

"No. You'll pick me up later, but let's have dinner at that fried rice first, okay?"

"Yes."

***

[I want to marry Panji. He is willing to take responsibility for your actions.]

It was the message Laras sent to Randi exactly one minute before the sound of Panji's car horn. Laras hastily wiped her tears and immediately brushed her puffy face with a light make-up.

"Hi," said Laras. With a slightly forced smile. Because to be honest, tonight all he wanted to do was cry over her poor fate. About her body that is no longer holy, about the child without a biological father, also about Panji who always manages to waste a lot of time just thinking about it.

"You haven't been crying have you?" guess Panji. He was suspicious of Laras' eye bags which were thicker than usual. Also her nose that looks red, much redder than her cheeks that were smeared with blush.

"No, really, my face looks like someone's been crying, huh?"

"Yeah, a little." Panji answered honestly.

"I fell asleep for a while, then woke up immediately vomiting. So, cry a little, hehe." Laras lied of course. How could she fall asleep under nine at night when she usually fell asleep at two or three in the morning.

"Your vomiting still likes to recur?" Laras nodded. "A little, maybe because I haven't eaten."

"Okay, let's eat first before fitting clothes."

"Is it okay if you're late?"

"It's okay. Better late than you throwing up again. I don't like seeing you sick."

Laras should have blushed at Panji's sweet words. But since her heart was in turmoil, she responded with only a weak nod.

There was silence in Panji's car too. Laras has no intention of starting a conversation, because her eyes have been staring at the cellphone where a chat room with Randi appears. Two gray ticks, unread meaning. Is the man busy in a meeting as usual? Is Randi's life without Laras okay or even better?

Such thoughts always make her tired, bored, and often even push her heart to end her life immediately. Either by slicing her veins with a sharp knife, or jumping from the roof of a very high apartment. However, of course Laras will not do that crazy thing. It was enough that she had cut her veins with a cutter and ended up in the hospital for three days.

Instead of freedom that he got, in fact only the pain that was incised. Not because the wound was too deep, but because it hurt to see her mother crying bitterly. Her sobs sounded like a heart-wrenching melody. Until Laras also cried. Participate in celebrating the pain of the heart that will not heal.

"Fried rice here, right? Like back then?" asked Panji when his car stopped beside a cart selling fried rice.

"Yes." Laras only answered briefly.

Two servings of fried rice are ready. Laras was about to put a spoonful of brown rice into her mouth, but couldn't because a short ringing sounded from her cell phone. She gave up the intention to immediately devour the rice, and immediately switched to her cellphone which displayed a reply message from Randi.

[Congratulations then. I hope you are happy with him. And sorry again, I can't be as responsible as you might expect.]

Laras shed tears. She sobbed uncontrollably. Until Panji had to calm her down because some people were watching them.

"What's wrong with you?"

Laras shows the message to Panji. The man could only sigh, trying to hide the tremendous pain in his heart.