Tears

Yesterday when I got home, I found my baby still up. I went to change my clothes and wore my pajamas. I switched off the lights since my sister was already sleeping. I swaved my body to the dining room, where my brother was. I sat next to him since I wanted us to share the blanket since it was cold.

"Couldn't you bother your boyfriend much, didn't you get enough of him?" He said as I pulled the blanket to myself and pushed his legs to the other side of the couch.

"Even if I did, I will never stop bothering you even a second… You may bother, and that means I will annoy you for eternity." He looked at me with his amazed face, knowing very well that I was speaking the truth.

"Anyway, how did the date go, since you look happy?" He took the remote and lowered the volume even lower.

"It went well, and I am seriously falling for him, it's scaring me," I said as I held the blanket closer to me

"I am glad that you enjoyed your day after math kicked you" He gaped around."Seriously speaking everyone can see that you are happy, and you are giving it allt,I mean look how you have lightened up, you are glowing, and it has been only a few months."

"But what if I get hurt along the process, brother then what?." I became emotional once again.

"Just stop thinking about that, just hope for the better, "he said and increase the volume, and continued watching the One peace series.

I knew that he was pissed. He always gets pissed when I always assume for the worse in everything situation. I texted Tlo a goodnight text while we continued watching one peace with my brother. I guess I have been fallen asleep on the couch since my brother woke me up to go sleep in my room since he was going to sleep too. I walked to my room and slept.

I was woken up by my alarm. I woke up and made my bed as my sister made hers. I then made my way to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and washed my face and helped my mom with cleaning since it was a weekend. We spring cleaned the house for almost three hours while my brothers did our washing.

After cleaning, I went to bathe and found my mother already made the breakfast fast for everyone, we ate in peace, and we found our way out since we were done with everything. My sister when to her friend's place as I went to my room and slept. I was tired since I slept late yesterday and I had to wake up early in the morning.

I was woken up by my mother and asked me to help her with making dinner. I woke up without complaint. I helped her with the cooking, one thing about cooking with her is that she orders you around, after it seemed like hours we finished and dished since everyone was already at home. When we finished eating, I walked to my room and laid down and responded to the texts that I got. I started talking to Tlo, but I was surprised when he told me that there was something that he needed to tell me, so he decided to call me since he couldn't tell me over the text. I became more curious, when I saw his call, I answered it quickly.

"Hey cupcakes, I am sure you are now wondering" his voice can heal the world.

"Heyyy, Yes, I am curious"

"Well I felt this yesterday when I was with you, but I thought that it's just maybe it might be infatuation but no. I know I am not supposed to be telling you over the phone,, but I cannot hold it up to myself. I love you, and it's not that I want you to stay with me or just a random feeling, I really love you. I have never felt like this before, I really love you" His voice was shaky, and I noticed that he might not be lying about his feelings.

I kept quiet without knowing how to reply to him. I did not know what to say to him.

"Zandile, did you hear what I said to you? And you do not have to say anything. You can think about it, I will give you time. I know it might be scary, but that's how I am feeling, and I don't want you to say something you are not sure about, so you can hang up and tell me when you are ready, I will take whatever you say" he said. When he finished talking, I hung up the call and started crying. I am emotional, I mean I have waited for him to tell me that but there I was unable to tell him that I love him too.

After 30 minutes when I was cooled down I called him instead of sending him a text. He answered before I could hang up.

"I am sorry for not saying a thican,it's just that

I don't understand why I am feeling this way, I really don't, I mean I've been waiting for you to tell me that since day one but since you just told me now the only thing I did was cry after the call. I even called my friend crying before I call you now, really don't know why… And I don't know whether I am lying to myself by telling myself that I like you or what, I don't know, maybe I am just scared for all the love thing. And well after all this, l realized that I truly have deep feelings for you. This is just overwhelming since I am still scared that you might just play with my heart like my ex. I know I am not supposed to compare you with him but still. All I can say is I want to do this with you, my feelings for you are deep, and I cannot fight it anymore. I love you too, Tlotliso." My tears were already flowing on my cheeks… I did not wait to for his response, I hung up the call and went to sleep.

I hate how he makes me feel like feel vulnerable and weak.