6

March 1st, 2019

The sound of my alarm woke me for school. I still think about the little hangout Lily and I had every day. Even though it was a few days ago, it still stays on my mind. I'm not trying to sound weird though.

I feel kind of special in a way. After all, she did give this notebook to me. Lily bought this notebook just for me, so I might as well use it.

I'll keep this notebook in my school bag. I'll bring it with me in case I want to jot something down. I need to head to school now so for the time being, I'm signing off. -M

~-~-~-~-

I close the notebook and place it carefully in my school bag. I felt like going to school earlier than I would usually go, so I had plenty of time to walk my way to school. I bid my mom farewell, put on my shoes, and headed out the door.

Passing through the outskirts of the city once again, I head towards school.

I didn't recognize anyone, but a couple of the floating numbers were more recognizable. Numbers are easier to remember than faces in my opinion.

However, something did feel off today. Instead of the typical noisy environment that I walk through on my way to school, all I heard were quiet whispers and murmuring voices. Beady eyes and audible whispers followed me all the way to the classroom.

They're obviously not trying to hide their whispers since I could clearly hear them.

"That's him! He's going out with THE Lily-"

"I heard he asked her out."

"She is waaaaay out of his league-"

Were they talking about me? I'm an outcast, so being recognized this much is really unordinary.

Though, it is ironic for me to say that since I did go out on Friday with Lily, the most popular girl in the school.

I proceeded towards school like normal. Arriving at the school gates, the breeze felt different. The schoolyard was quieter as well. Nothing was adding up today.

After stopping by the shoe lockers to put on my school shoes, I headed up the stairs to my classroom. The entire way, I felt eyes following me.

Why was everyone watching me? What is the reason? Questions filled my small mind. What is happening?

Reaching my classroom, I slid open the classroom door; however, the moment I entered the classroom, everyone went silent. I tried to pay no attention to the chill running down my spine and headed towards my desk.

When I reached my desk, I was stunned... no, petrified with what I saw. My desk was covered in jagged, glaring white scribbles that all spelled out the same message:

OUTCAST.

The word "outcast" was scribbled all over my desk. It actually astonished me. Of course, I knew I was an outcast from the very start, but having it scribbled all over my desk was a bit disconcerting.

Based on the powdery look, it was probably written in chalk. Most likely the one from the classroom blackboard. I tried brushing the chalk off with my hand, but it only smudged the marks. Hesitantly, I decided to sit down. Yet the eyes continued to glare at me unwaveringly. Their stares pierced into me like daggers.

Based on the looks I was getting, I was starting to sense that I did something that offended a lot of people; however, I am sure I did nothing out of the ordinary...other than the fact I hung out wit-

Ah. It's all adding up now.

My meddling classmate, who always sat behind me during class, tapped my shoulder. I turned to face him.

"You're an outcast."

"...Pardon?"

"Didn't you hear me? Are you also deaf as well as dumb? Let me spell it out to you. YOU. ARE. AN. OUTCAST."

Why the sudden tone change? What did I do to deserve being treated like this? Desperately trying to find some answers, I was forced to continue the conversation.

"Did you really have to state the obvious?"

He rolled his eyes and shot me an irritated look.

"Look, I was only nice to you 'cause I felt bad about how much of a loner you were. But after hearing about you and Lily, you disgust me. You were faking this whole loner shit just to get close with Lily, weren't you?"

"W-What?! No! Not at all!"

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that the whole class had been listening in on our conversation. I felt pressured by their disgusted glares. Our voices rose louder and louder as the argument escalated.

"LIAR!"

He stood up and slammed his palms on his desk. I flinched. I'm terrible with any confrontation; especially if it is caused by something I don't understand or (in this case) don't know.

"I- Wha- I don't know what you-"

I couldn't stop stuttering. The 33 years above his head rippled even more aggressively when he was angry.

Suddenly, he lunged towards me and grabbed me by the collar. It was terrifying. I raised my hands and cowered as if pleading: "Please don't hurt me."

He gritted his teeth.

"Everyone in this classroom knows you are NOT fit to be with someone like her. You're a lowlife, pathetic, piece of sh-"

"What's going on here?"

A gentle voice sliced through the tension in the room like a hot knife through butter. Everyone swiveled in the direction of the voice, and standing in the doorway of our classroom was the all-perfect Lily.

I had turned my head with them, and honestly, I was surprised to see her.

Mr. NPC 1 let go of my collar as if it had burned him and frantically looked around. Searching for help that would not come. High schoolers love being cruel when they are in a group, but the second they have to face the consequences, they push all responsibility onto a poor lamb.

"O-Oh! Hey Lil-"

Lily paid no attention to him. She marched up to my desk and demanded:

"Who wrote this?"

She wasn't yelling, but her voice was firm and serious. What made it scarier was that her whole aura drastically changed from her typical personality.

Everyone was dead silent. Nobody said a word, but all eyes were on Lily and me.

She glared around the classroom, but no one dared to meet her eyes.

"Well? I asked a question. You all seemed so energetic when I walked in. What happened to your voices? Cat got your tongue?"

She turned to my classmate NPC and demanded:

"You seem to have so much to say. Why don't you explain it to your mute classmates?"

"I- well- um…"

"Well?!"

"It's just-"

He was speechless. Lily then shifted her eyes towards my desk.

I don't think I have ever seen Lily like this. To be honest, I don't think ANYONE has ever seen Lily like this.

She's always made the classroom speechless with her presence alone, but never like this. This was different.

Lily took a step closer to my graffiti-covered desk. Her face said it all. She looked up and ominously turned towards the rest of the class.

"Who. Wrote. On. His. Desk?"

The silence was almost tangible. I felt myself falling into an even deeper hole when she said that. I mean, defending me is one thing, but confronting the entire class about this small attempt at bullying? We only spent a short time together yesterday, yet she is already treating me as though I am a close friend. It's slightly confusing, but I'm honored.

Meanwhile, my classmates were silently avoiding eye contact. All soundlessly refusing to respond to Lily.

"You guys should be ashamed of yourself. What was the reason for all of this?! What did he ever do to you?"

Lily defending me in this way was something I would not ever dream about in a million years. Though, her question about why they would do this to me was kind of ironic (seeing as how they did this because of her hanging out with me).

There was still time before class started since I like to come to school early, so Lily went on a rampage lecturing the class about bullying me.

However, I felt like Lily defending me like this would only confirm the rumors and spark new ones.

I wasn't paying much attention to her outburst since I was mainly focused on my crazy morning. The moment I met Lily was the moment things started to change. Then, just like usual, Lily shook me out of my trance with her soft voice firmly telling me:

"Let's go."

Quickly, before anyone could respond, Lily grabbed my hand and proceeded to drag me somewhere far away from the classroom.

The stifling feeling of everyone's eyes dissipated as we walked further and further away from the classroom.

Our walk quickened into a speed walk, and our speed walk transitioned into a jog. I didn't know where she was taking me, and I'm sure she didn't either. We were both just trying to get away from that classroom.

Once we were far away from any students or faculty members, we stopped next to the big tree behind the school to catch our breath. Our huffs and puffs were so loud they filled the air, causing both of us to frantically scan the area--terrified that someone would hear.

Lily tried to speak, but her huffing and puffing kept interfering with her words. I mean, I don't blame her. After all, we ran pretty far from our classroom. "Are huff we safe?" We both scanned the area, and I gave her a slight nod.

Finally catching my breath, I stood up. My mind had become more clear and now I'm wondering again: "why did she drag me here?"

"Lily-?"

She held her hand up, asking me to give her a minute to catch her breath as well. Patiently, I waited until she finally stood up a couple seconds later.

"What's up?"

"Well uh- why did you bring me here? I mean, sure it was getting rowdy in the classroom but you didn't have to-"

"Shush, Mr. Mysterio. I helped you 'cause you were getting bullied. To be honest, bullies are on my list of things I hate! Let me ask you this though: would you have done the same for me...?"

Her question flustered me. My cheeks flushed under Lily's stare. I felt the air grow heavy.

"I-I mean, yeah.. who wouldn't though?"

Lily looked at me for a second, then proceeded to giggle at my stupid, stuttering response.

Flexing her arms and deepening her voice, she scolded me:

"You're stupid, Mysterio. You gotta stand up for yourself when times get desperate!"

"I have a name you know... And standing up for myself really isn't my thing..."

"Mmm, I prefer Mysterio though. After all, I barely know anything about you...other than that you geek out over gamin-"

"HEY!"

"ANYWAYS- The best way to handle bullies like those is to stand up to them. The more you let them do what they want, the more they will torment you."

I stared at Lily and wondered: how can someone like this exist? I mean, I hardly ever pay attention to anybody, yet somehow, she grasped my attention; not because she is a popular girl, but because of how unique she is.

Lily looked up at the bits of sky visible between the leaves of the tree we were standing under.

"You gotta be free like things in the sky, dummy. Look how the clouds just drift around with no worries. Don't let things hold you back-"

Lily pointed at me.

"Be free like a cloud, not fettered like a shadow!"

With her smile glistening in the sun, a rush of air ruffled my hair and nearly blew my glasses off. Then it gracefully swept Lily's hair into the air.

My heart started racing. What is this feeling? I've never felt this before with anyone else. It feels strange, but whenever I'm with Lily, this...semi-pleasant feeling threatens to overwhelm me.

My chest cavity was aching, but in a good way. It's really hard to explain because not even I can comprehend how I feel.

It felt as if my heart was trying to jump out of my chest.

What was this feeling? Why is my heart trying to smash my ribs to smithereens? Why do I only feel this way around Lily?

Finally, it hit me. This strange feeling. This feeling of jealousy; this feeling of wishing to see her; this feeling of wanting to embrace her; this feeling of wanting to stargaze with her on a cool summer night.

That moment I understood my feelings towards Lily was the second moment my world turned upside down.

Lily Evergreen. You have captivated my heart.

However, I still feel conflicted. Her days are still counting down like every other person's.

I watched them just barely graze her head. I know I have a morality code, but you don't see someone like her every day. It won't hurt to take action just one time...right?

After all, death is inevitable.

...Or is it?

From a distance, the school bell rang, and Lily's expression instantly shifted from happy to terrified.

"O-OH THAT'S THE BELL! COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, WE GOTTA GO!"

She grabbed my hand once again and dragged me back towards the classroom before I could even say a word.

As we ran, I kept thinking about the countdown above her head. I know the clock's ticking, but as I said, it won't hurt to take action just one time...right?

We burst into the classroom breathing heavily. Our teacher had already started his lecture, so the whole room turned to see what this new distraction was.

We soon regained our composure, apologized to our class and teacher, and returned to our designated seats. For me, that was my still graffitied desk. Eh, I can wash it off later or something. I sat down and took out my notebook.

Hopefully this will all blow over soon.