Chapter 5

Clownish Roommates

"Good evening senior Adrian!’’ Adamu quipped elatedly as he barged in. Adrian heaved a loud sigh of relieve, recovering from his shaking body. He was glad it was not Martin who had come with his friend for revenge.

Without waiting for reply, he sank into the second bunk bed, facing Adrian, clasping his hands into his laps.

"As usual, he’s just returning from playing roughly around with his peers,’’ Adrian thought, shaking his head slowly in irritation.

"You really taught him bitter, a bitter, unforgettable, unforgettable lesson!’’ Adamu stammered, beaming with smiles. "I…I enjoyed how you slapped and fed him with...with…earth…oh, so splendid!’’

He has a tongue as sharp as a razor whenever he is with his peers. But would become clumsy, swallow hard and stutter when talking to his seniors or teachers. He couldn’t fathom why it was so. He dislikes himself for that.

"What were you gossiping with your friends?’’ Adrian ignored the boy’s flattering, glaring his owlish eyes at him. "I mean when you saw me running this evening!’’

Adamu felt embarrassed. He looked away from Adrian and back to him again. His cheerfulness metamorphosed into disconcertion. He has come to jubilate with him for beating a bully. He didn’t anticipate such aggressiveness from him.

"Eh ...eh, sir…’’ Adamu stuttered and stopped, scratching his bushy head, bushy because he had been missing the college barber’s appointments due to overplay.

Anyway, Adamu dared not try such when the house master, Mister Cow-tail, was around. He would birch hell out of him with his the three-in-one long cow-skin whip. Mr. Lawal, a staunch disciplinarian, who would employ the service of his cow-skin whip before his lips. He’d earned his nickname from the leather whip, which looked like a cow-tail. But saying the nickname within his ear-reach would be like belling a lion.

Mr. Cow-tail or Mr. Lawal, the housemaster of Dormitory A and B, lived in the college staff quarters. He had just tied the nuptial knot with a plump, tall and dark 23years old fresh graduate, called Ngozi. She was posted to do her one-year compulsory National Youth Service in GBC. The two had met in the college and had romantically fallen for each other.

"Rich Richie!’’ said Adrian elatedly as he sighted Richard, entering the room with piles of books, concealed muscled underarm. "Where have you been?

"The fighter! Mike Tyson! Hulk Hogan! I’m just coming from the dining hall!’’ shouted Richard with exaggerated joviality.

He dropped his books on his bed and sat down, facing Adrian. In fear, Adamu had just vacated from it on sighting him, happy that Adrian’s owlish eyeballs were rolled from him.

"Hey boy, stop calling me a fighter or any of those names! I don’t want them, okay?’’ Adrian widened his owlish eyes, pretending to be offended.

"Alright, I heard you.’’ Richard nodded. He knew when Adrian doesn’t like something for real unless if he wished to pretend not to know. "Adamu and I just ate our dinner in the dining hall, didn’t he tell you?’’

"Oh, I forgot to ask him.’’

"Ok, but on normal ground should we remind you of your dinner?’’ Richard sounded somehow irritated. ‘’Or are you not going to eat anymore tonight?’’

"Why? I don’t joke with my meals! ’’ Adrian stretched, letting out a loud yawn. "But my bones are weak as hell as I’m sitting down here, even my lips hurt badly. If not, I would’ve long visited the dining hall.’’

"That’s from the fight I guess.," Richard said.

Adrian nodded approvingly, yawning again.

"May be Adamu should get it for you then.’’

"That would be a better idea.’’ Adrian agreed, looking towards Adamu where he was standing, besides the door. "Now, playboy, go get me my dinner from the kitchen!’’

"Alright sir,’’ the boy said, about dashing out immediately.

"Wait…wait…take my college Identity Card with you!’’ Adrian shouted.

He handed him a plastic I.D card from his school bag. It was part of the school rules: a sick or busy student’s I.D card must be presented to the stewards or cooks by another student who wish to get him his meal.

"You can take forever to return back, okay?’’ Richard said sarcastically.

"Okay sir!’’

"And don’t forget to tell the cooks I’m feeling unwell and can’t come myself…!’’

"Alright sir!’’

Adamu has dashed out before Adrian completed his last sentence.

"This boy uh,’’ Richard lamented, squeezing his face lugubriously. He removed his spectacles and put it on the bed. ‘’He really needs some iron hands. When I entered, he didn’t even greet me. Again, look at how he flew out like a twitter bird without waiting to take all the messages. If proper care isn’t taken, I’m afraid, he might grow up to become an ill-mannered like Martin…’’

"Why would you say such thing…?” Adrian cut in, not happy with Richard’s last statement, though his owlish eyes were calm and friendly this time around.

"My father would say: a sheep which mingles with a dog must learn how to eat feces… ’’

"That should be a local dog anyway,’’ Adrian interrupted with a mocking tone, "no modern dog eats shit. The dogs I used to see in rich men’s homes in Lagos, especially the Caucasians, had better meals more than a lot of humans in this country.’’

"It’s just a proverb boy,’’ Richard grunted.

Adrian nodded and sneered.

"This is not a joking issue,’’ Richard continued taking. "Adamu is like a brother to us and we mustn’t watch why he rust or decay. Hope you’re aware he now moves with an uncouth boy like Chika?’’

"Yes, what is bad in that?’’ Adrian said, his face looking disdainful.

"A lot is bad about that, boy!’’ Richard’s looks were very serious. "I caught Adamu, Chika and other junior boys playing the prohibited WHOT cards on betting, in the thick bush besides the football pitch last term. It was on betting not just for the mere fun of the game! That’s gambling you know? And it’s dangerous for little a little boy like him to start gambling from this early stage.’’

"But, if I may ask,’’ Adrian looks were full of mockery, ‘’ how did you know they were playing it on betting? Did you ask them?’’

"No, they ran away immediately they saw me from afar. But when I asked Adamu later on that day, he said it wasn’t on betting. But my instinct told me he was lying. It was on betting! More so, he’s now very outgoing, playful and don’t seem to be serious enough with his school works."

"My friend,’’ Adrian called, "I don’t think Adamu possesses any bad boy’s traits like you’re alleging. Being smart, friendly, outgoing or playing games are not bad omens for a boy in his early teens like him. I belief with time, he’ll outgrow them. I can only go against him if he performs woefully in him exams. However, he came second in his class in the promotional exam last term; you’re aware of that, aren’t you?’’

"Wondered how he made it---men!’’ Richard spread out his hands.

"When you saw Martin off to his dormitory, what did he say?’’ Adrian changed the topic. He’s becoming walked-up by Richard’s frequent ironhandedness towards Adamu. "I saw you with him. Don’t dare tell a lie, okay?’’

"Oh no, you know I hardly lie." Richard said, raising his voice enthusiastically. "Of cause, I’ll tell you exactly what happened! That loser! He didn’t allow me to accompany him to his dormitory. On the way, he waved me to go away that he would be fine on his own. And I did very fast! From there, I went straight to a class to continue my studies which both of you distorted with your fracas.’’

"Trying to be a Good Samaritan, init?’’ Adrian mocked Richard. ’’But, he didn’t appreciate it; that served you right.’’

"I blamed myself for the unsolicited gesture, too," Richard said, smiling. "Was only trying to be humane by walking him. What was my concern if he would be fine or not, anyway? If he was injured, it’s out of his own strong-headed folly. I pleaded with him not to fight but he wouldn’t listen. He’s like a dog destined to be lost, that wouldn’t listen to the hunter’s whistle.’’

"Weren’t you afraid he might pick up a fight with you, being my roommate and my friend? Perhaps, you’re the igniter of the fire of the fight.’’

"Hey, I didn’t ignite the fire of the fight---men!’ Richard spread out his palms innocently. "Perhaps, I didn’t stuff his mouth with sands. Why would he pick up fight with me?’’

"What would you have done if he’d picked up fight with you?’’ Adrian stuck his tongue out, expecting a cowardly reply, "you would have scrammed, isn’t it?’’

"Run away? Never! That belongs to the cowards. I would’ve stayed and beat him up just like you did!’’

"Empty barrel!’’ Adrian screamed, laughing.

"I’m serious!’’ Richard laughed, too.

"Before today, you were very scared of him, weren’t you?’’ Adrian asked, looking Richard mischievously with the tail of his eyes.

"Yes, just like you and all other students were scared of him,’’ Richard replied, his lips screwed, forming a big ‘O’ in mockery. "But it was magical how you turned the tide of the fight towards yourself. Fear gripped my heart when he threw you down. I wanted to separate the fight, thinking he would defeat you. But you didn’t try enough. If I were you, I wouldn’t have allowed him to throw me down at all…’’

"May be you should teach me how to avoid being thrown down,’’ Adrian sprang up, sailing towards Richard in a mock violent way, "yes, my coach Richie, so that I won’t f*ck-up next time.’’

"No…No…’’ Richard resisted, withdrew away from him like a snail, "ain’t a coach in fighting. Gat no black bet in fighting."

"You must be,’’ insisted Adrian, clenching his fists. "You must show me how not to be thrown down right here. We learned more by practicing. I want to learn more from you, fighter Richie.’’

With his clenched fists and boxer-like gesticulation, Adrian looked as if he would chase and pounce on Richard as soon possible. Richard scurried out of the room in fear, panting.