Chapter 25

Saved By A Whisker

Adrian, Martin, Richard and Taj were nearer to the school gates now. Adrian and Richard’s chest were pounding with fear. Martin smiled was giving them the go ahead. He was leading confidently while others followed calmly. They looked like when a mother hen is leading her chicks towards a dangerous place full of corn seeds.

"Ah ha! What can I do for you?’’ asked a manly voice near the gate. It was the security guard’s voice. He had materialized from the cube-shaped little house that was built against the gate with the inscription on its walls: "SECURITY POST.’’

There was a fire extinguisher hanging firmly on the wall near where he was standing. The security guard was dressed in a faded blue khaki trousers and white shirt, tucked into each other and bounded at the waist with a black combatant belt. He’s matching his paramilitary uniform with a blue beret cap and old black pairs of unpolished military boots. He had no bears but his moustache stood out like that of Mark Twain. He was a man of about 33, exceptionally tall and charcoal-dark in complexion. On his left shoulder was a dangling locally fashioned gun, fastened with rope. He caressed the gun from time to time as if preparing ahead of an attack.

Whenever the students wished to laugh, they would deliberately take a sneak to the gate to talk to the gatekeeper. Why? He had a problem with the letter P and F. He would pronounce "pool’’ as "fool’’, ‘’five’’ as "pipe’’. "What are you here por?’’ he would ask.’’ How can I helf you?’’

The students would burst out laughing, running back to their classes or playground. He didn’t know why they usually laugh at his speeches and didn’t bother to ask either. He thought maybe they liked him or were amused that a security guard could be speaking good English.

"Where’s Mister Okon?’’ Martin’s question lacked the littlest of courtesy. "We want to see him urgently, okay?’’

"What do you want prom him?’’ asked the security guard. "He’s off duty por today. No, he’s sick. Come back and check por him tomorrow.’’

"Oh jeez! What a hard luck?’’ lamented Martin, wincing and slapping the air in disappointment.

"What do we do now?’’ Taj asked Martin, his brows squeezed in disappointment, too.

Adrian and Richard were standing almost half a yard away from the two other boys. They were felling strange being around the school gate. They felt as if a teacher or the principal himself would sprout from nowhere like a mushroom and punish them for leaving their dormitories for the gate. They couldn’t remember when last they go near the gate on their own accord.

"Let’s whisper,’’ Martin said to Taj, drawing him closer to himself by his left arm, He put his mouth near his left ear and said unto him, ‘’ let’s try this man may be he’ll fall too.’’

"Alright, that’s good idea!’’ Taj concurred.

Martin advanced closer to the security guard and flash towards him some wads of hard currency notes from his pocket.

"But what is this money por?’’ asked the guard, widening his eyes in bewilderment.

"It’s a little gift from us to you, sir,’’ Martin said with all the courtesies he could muster.

"That’s very kind of you, my good priends, thank you,’’ he said in great gratitude. He smiled wildly, revealing his yellowish sets of teeth, caused by too much eating of kola-nuts.

"But, we need a little assistance from you,’’ Martin blurted boldly without any courtesy now. "We want to go and buy something in the town urgently. Just give us five minutes, we will be right back.’’

"Where is your fass?’’ he asked, his face changed from smiling to frowning.

"We don’t have a Pass now,’’ Taj said bluntly with an irritated groan, his nose flattened. "If we’ve gotten a pass we wouldn’t ask for your help. Just give us five minutes we would be back…ah!’’

"The college is on holiday as we’re all aware of and the principal isn’t around,’’ Martin said. "Our housemaster who could have been in the position to issue us a Pass is on honeymoon break.’’

"Flease…Flease… for Allah’s sake, take your money ip it’s because of that you gave it me, ’’ he didn’t finish his speech before flinging Martin’s money towards him. Martin watched in surprise as his new notes flew in the air like bird and perch on the ground in front of him. "I’m not rich but I don’t take bribe in my lipe. I hate bribery 'Wallahi'. It’s called 'haram', a big sin.’’

"Well, if you insist, I’ll pick my money,’’ Martin said, picking his Naira notes from the ground one after the other and tucking them back into his pocket. "I think Mister Okon is much smarter than you. You’re here suffering; closing and opening this gigantic iron beam of a gate everyday for little pay. A National Education certificate holder for that matter! Your salary is not up to my weekly pocket stipends. Oh, you now opened your mouth in surprise. Hahaha…Mister Okon has told me many things about you. On a platter of gold, I doled out to you hundred buck which is twenty percent of your monthly salary, but you rejected it. That’s too unwise of you, sir.’’

"Come here!’’ thundered the security guard. ‘’I’m dipperent from Okon. I know how he usually pree you to go wild always but that’s not my business. Ip something goes wrong with you in the town, he’ll bear the consequences alone. Now listen carepully, Ip you dare try that with me again, I will pirst of all deal with you my own way, bepore reforting you to the school authority!’’

"Go and report me to the school authority Asap,’’ said Martin in a daring tone. "It’s not long you came here that’s why you have the gut to threaten me. You don’t know who my father is, do you? Ask mister Okon, your superior, he’ll tell you.’’

"I don’t care who your pather is! Your pather doesn’t peed me, okay?’’

"My father could feed you and give you a job, times ten better than this. How can a College of Education graduate be doing security guard? And you have mouth to talk still. You’ve got no shame at all!’’

"At least, I’m better than those who steal for living,’’ he said but got more infuriated. He couldn’t condone Martin’s ineptitude anymore. He swayed around the security post, searching for a cane or something to hit Martin with. "I’m better than those who embezzle the money meant por the teeming fofulation of suppering masses.’’

"Oh, how can you better than those who pay your salaries?’’ Martin knew he was referring to his father as an embezzler, being a politician but doesn’t pick much offence. It’s common in the country, all politicians are referred to as embezzler or corrupt people either they embezzled or not. ‘’

"Now, leave here bepore I flog you, silly boy!’’ shouted the security guard.

"If you dare touch me or my friends consider your appointment terminated,’’ Taj said, having a tiny, mocking smile on his face, his dimple was out on his cheek like hole on a smooth wall.

"We can’t be scared of you because it’s our school fees that put food on your table. Without our school fees you wouldn’t be here at all,’’ Martin bragged.

"You wait por me, don’t worry,’’ he said, ransacking everywhere for an available cane. "We will know who fossesses more authority between me and you in this school, soon.’’

Martin and Adrian were laughing as he was displaying his anger, checking aggressively for an available cane around him. He eventually found a two-in-one-cow-skin-whip, hung unto a nail he’d driven on the wall, beside the window. He’d kept it there the previous day but anger made him forget where it was at first.

Consequently, something terrible happened as he rushed towards the two boys in anger, the whip swaying in his hands. When he raised his it up to flog Martin and Taj, his local gun flew from his shoulders and greeted the earth with a thunderous blast--boom! The worn out trigger of the old den gun has pulled itself upon hitting the earth with full force.

The blast of the local gun shook the gate and echoed through the half-empty school compound. It was followed immediately by a fearful silence; and a wild flung of dust from the ground and little smoke from the mouth of the gun. Meanwhile, everywhere became stilled and silent like a grave yard.

"Waiyoo, I’m pinished!’’ the security guard exclaimed in horror; interrupting the lingering silence, clasping his hands on his head. He felt the ground opened and swallowed him.

Anger, they say, is a short cut to danger. The two troublesome boys where lying down flat including Adrian and Martin. Meanwhile, Martin was the first to stand up, followed by Taj, then Adrian and then Richard. Mr. Friday had thought them in a Physical Health Education class what to do immediately they hear a gun-shot sound anywhere: they should lie down flat!

‘’Alhamdulillah,’’ the security man muttered aloud as he saw all the boys looking healthy without any scratch on their bodies. They were dusting the little dust that had smeared on them by the gun bullet as it hit the ground very close to them. The security guard faced the east and went on his knees, pinning his head on the earth in appreciation to the Creator. The boys needed not to be told again before leaving the gate. Though, the never-say-die notorious boy, Martin, had a plan "B". What would be the plan B?