CHAPTER 9

As soon as we entered that pack house, Elijah was in the kitchen, of course. I put a smile on my face and greeting him as I passed by before yet again, speed-walking to my bed room.

Fuck. The only word going through my head.

No way am I going to be able to do this whole distancing thing.

He looked so.. good just now.

There was a knock that made me jump. I didn't respond. "I am well away you're in there, Katerina. Just open the door." Elijah tells me. He was using his alpha tone and I felt myself cowering towards it on reflex. Ass.

Soon enough he was in my room pulling me in for a hug and inspecting me at arms length. "Why did you run off like that" he asks me with a worried gaze. "Sorry, nothings wrong. I just got back from the trees. Seen Bekah for a bit, she showed me her gift." I grin, not at all feeling awkward. He sighs in relief.

"It's amazing what some people can do" he says, sitting beside me on the bed. "It is. It makes you wonder what's hiding beneath the surface of your own body." I smile to myself, once again hoping for some kind of gift. Either way, I'm happy for my best friend. "How'd you sleep? I woke up and you were gone." He says out of no where, eyebrow raised at me. "I slept fine, nightmare is all."

I tell him and of course as if on que I started thinking about it. And I didn't put my metal block up this morning. He blinks and smirks at me suddenly. Shit . "I see you've had a dream about me." He says, his tone makes me clench my thoughts. He's starring at me. I push at his chest. "That's not fair. This whole mind connection shit with the pack is stupid." I mutter in frustration. "I'm an Alpha, so to be fair I have no choice in what I hear, unless you place your mental block up each morning. Now answer me." He says and I part my lips, explaining what had happened.

He smirks at me once I'm finished, responding with "That's interesting.." And I turn to glare at him. "That's the word you use?" I snap. I turn away and start picking lint off the sheets. "Yes." "I'm glad you find it so fascinating." I stare. He pulls my chin slightly so I am now facing him and meeting his eyes. My breath hitches.

"I find it interesting because it seems you have the same erotic dreams I have about you, Katerina..." and he inches closer to my lips. "No, stop." I say just before they touch and scoot back, rising from the bed. I stood in he middle of the room starting him.

"Kat, don't do this." He says gently. I pace a bit. "You're making a mistake, Elijah. What happens when you meet your mate, what then?" He holds a hand out and I stop for a second, meeting his gaze I make it clear, "I cannot take another loss. If I can keep myself from you, I will not have to feel yet another one. Please, you don't do this." I beg, my eyes rimming with tears.

He gets up from the bed, a look in his eyes I can't identify. He steps closer to me as I step back. "This isn't about me, Katerina. It's about you. You're worried that when I find my mate, it'll be as if you never existed, correct?" He asks, tilting his head back and facing down, trying to meet my eyes.

I shake my head. "You don't understand the pull, Elijah. You don't. It's over-whelming and in a way, suffocating how much you feel for your mate in that split second of seeing them. It's stronger than love and you can't help it, it takes over until one breaks it." I tell him, stray tears running down my cheeks. I take a couple steps back only to reach a wall. He is standing in front of me now. I shake my head. No, this isn't right.

His hands grasp my cheeks to keep my head from shaking any longer. "Enough. I am not leaving you. We shall see if it's stronger than love." he says, wiping the tears on my cheeks with his thumbs. He leans forward slowly, watching my eyes and asking for permission. "Is that your way of saying you love me..." I breathe. "Yes, Katerina. I love you." And I tip-toe up to meet him, our lips touching for only a few seconds.

I pull back quickly as a thought comes to kind. "I can't be Luna. I'd never be a good enough leader to help you run our pack." I state quickly and he groans. "Will you shut up?" and smashes his lips to mine, kissing me with more passion.

When he pulls away again he tugs me into his arms, holding me as I wrap my arms around his waist. I take deep breaths trying to focus on what was happening right now. I was so confused. "Thank you." I mutter and feel his chest rumble. "Are you thanking me for our kiss?" He smirks and I laugh. "I guess I am" I mumble in embarrassment.

"Well, you are very welcome." He replies and I sniffle with a smile. I wipe up the last of my tears. "You're okay?" He asks and I nod. "I'm getting there." I laugh and he joins in kissing my cheek. "Are you sure about this?" I ask and he ignores me. "C'mon. It's time for lunch." He says and holding my hand he leads me down the stairs and to the dining room table.

The whole pack was seated around, munching on sandwiches as we both took our seats. Cliff winks at me and Elijah lets go of my hand. I blushed and glare. He mouths 'later' and I started filling my plate.

"I'm confused." Joel says and I roll my eyes at him. We're all sitting in the living room, gossiping on the couch. "There's really not much more I can tell you." I mutter. Cliff snorts. "I don't believe that." He replies. I've explained to them both what happened up in my room.

"None of you know what's going to happen because none of you have found your mates yet. It's all different with them. The rest of the world is a blur and your mate is who you see clearly." "You're suggesting that Elijah is going to reject you once he finds his mate?" Joel states and I nod. "He wouldn't do that to you." Cliff adds in before tossing a pillow at me. With a strained voice, "That's just not true. The need and want you feel for your other half... it happens so quick you feel dizzy. It's almost impossible to love another unless your connection is broken." I say and they frown.

"Then why do you want Elijah?" Cliff asks confused. I shrug and frown along with them. "I was rejected by my mate and so those rules don't apply to me. I can feel something for Kol, always. But our connecting is no longer strong and so the both of us can love another without any try." I mutter lifelessly.

I still don't understand how all of this can be happening. In the time span of one day, my life has changed in one hell of a way. Seems that all it takes is a day for me...

You're doing this to yourself!

My wolf is angry and excited. She is craving Kol more than I do and it makes it harder on her. But right now, she's angry at the possibility of me being hurt again. "Are you guys are a thing now?" Joel asks me, breaking my thoughts and the silence. "I guess you could say that." I smile and blush slightly. I can't help but be happy, even if my gut and my wolf were telling me otherwise. I found myself distracted again.

You shouldn't be doing this...

Would you shut up! I shout in my head.

Cliff jumps up, grabs a pillow, taking advantage and smacks me with it. "C'mon, focus." Cliff grins and I grin back. This is a much better distraction. I grabbed a pillow of my own and run at him, smacking away in an attempt to knock him down. It doesn't work, and soon I am pushed into the couch. I take fake deep breaths and when he turns to look at Joel, I smacked him on the back of his head and jumped on his back.