chapter 71 L word

"Grace Margaret Tang I want to be with you, by your side for the rest of my life and forever. will you marry me?"

Lucas expected more of a reaction from Ethan. basically anything other than an unimpressed stare. maybe some jokes and teasing. instead, his childhood friend stared at him blankly before turning his attention to the baby he is holding.

"you seriously not going to say anything?" Lucas huffed.

"isn't her middle name Madison or something"

"it isn't " Lucas scowled.

another unimpressed stare. "you could barely say those words to me. how are you going to say it to Grace"

" don't you think I'm aware of my problem!" he pulled his hair. doing so has become a habit in the past few days.

" just go down on your knees, look her in the eyes and proposed to her"

" how can I look her in the eye while on my knees!" Lucas yelled in frustration

"buddy you're just over thinking things. you guys have been dating for months besides, when you told her you loved her she must have said she loves you too"

" one more problem" Lucas muttered

-the L Word. how could he have overlooked the L Word? his relationship with Grace is five months old, he is even thinking about marriage and he still hasn't said the L word to her. it's not like he does not having a strong feelings and connection the L Word connotes -for her it's just his too.. Lucas. to say it. out loud.

"you haven't told her you love her yet have you?" Lucas nodded slowly, causing Ethan to face palm and groan loudly " you have got to be kidding me?! I don't even know what to say"

"I know. I'm disappointed in me too" Lucas mumbled.

"quit being so dramatic" Ethan scolded. "all you have to do is straighten your spine and go tell your girl how you feel. don't over think it"

you'd think that by now Ethan would have learnt that telling Lucas not to over think things is synonymous to giving him a ticket into over thinking town.

'don't over think'

"I told you not to over think things yet here you are, over thinking on how not to over think" Ethan clicked his tongue.

"what do you want from me?! over thinking things like this is my specialty" Lucas pulled on his hair in frustration.

"calm down bud, before you pull out all the hair on your head. how bout we go out. to the mall that always cheers Anna up"

"yeah.. yea.. anything would be fine" Lucas scoffed internally, he knows the truth. -Anna is at the mall. Anna hasn't been gone for more than three hours yet 'Ethan the hubby' has made it a point to follow his wife around like her shadow. 'no wonder she needs a break'

Ethan only proved his theory when out of all the malls in the city, they pulled up at Anna's favorite one.

it was a Monday so the mall isn't as full as other days and the two men appreciated it for different reasons, Lucas was grateful because for the space. -a scanty mall is a peace mall. Ethan is probably grateful because it would be easier to spot his wife.

'Wife' maybe he should just take it slow? what's the rush?

'Wife' why does he want that so much and all of a sudden? as if girlfriend isn't good enough.

a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship is so easy to break. a few words, a phone call, a note even a goddamned text is enough to end it but marriage is thicker isn't it? even a divorce takes months of processing and whatnot.

if there is anyway to guarantee forever with his soulmate he wouldn't hesitate to grab it.

he is well aware that his thoughts are coming from a place obsession -but it's a healthy obsession. he assured himself. he can't afford to screw this up.

"Lucas! earth to Lucas" Ethan frantically waving his in face "I'm guessing the concept of not over thinking is too complex for you to grasp"

"you have no idea" he replied with a sigh. it was then that he noticed that they have passed the froyo shop "I think the froyo shop is that way"

"you were too busy in lalaland to notice that the shop is closed. the manager said something about a bitch and three brats vandalizing the store"

he would have suggested that they go the froyo upstairs but Ethan is very much afraid of escalators(story for another day) instead they roamed around aimlessly -on the ground floor.

"do you think I'm going too far too fast with this marriage thing?"

"I really don't know. plus, it's none of my business I don't want to interfere"

"I'm just asking for advice from my married and experienced friend"

"just tell her you love her, everything will fall in place" Ethan place hands on both of his shoulders and staring him in the eyes intensely "for what its worth, you would make an amazing husband"

Lucas didn't know whether to cringe or laugh so he did both. "that was so..."

"weird, awkward, strange?" Ethan finished for him and shrugged "that's life for you"

After mindlessly walking around for hours without buying anything except for Ethan that bought a couple of jewelry for Anna, Lucas left the mall with a goal in mind and fire in his heart.

he is probably going to say something stupid and mess things up but the least he can do is take a chance. he owes that much to himself and his relationship with Grace. if he had taking a chance years ago, maybe he'd be married maybe with a kid... or two.

sometimes he wishes that he has Ethan's bold and spontaneous personality. Ethan met, dated, proposed to and married Anna, all in a span of three years and already have a daughter in about two years while he on the other hand has known and had a crush on Grace for over a decade but he only started to really talk to her early this year.

all those time he came really close to talking to Grace but ended up retreating, made him feel like such a coward. it didn't help that everyone saw him as and praised him for being perfect. he felt like such a fraud -he still feels like a fraud.

he isn't perfect. he tried to be but he isn't.

he took out his phone and dialed the number saved as -Girlfriend. cheeky.

"hello. Lucas?" Grace's beautiful voice said over the phone.

"I missed you" he blurted. cheesy.

he could hear her smile over the phone "yeah me too"

"can we hang out tomorrow? I want to spend all day with you"

"I'd be busy tomorrow -too much pending work but I'll be available tomorrow. if up are still up for it"

"totally"