Chapter 2 Holding On and Letting Go

Once he had thrown on some half decent clothes, and checked his hair in the tall mirror, Marcus headed out. He had decided that he wanted to look presentable for this little ceremony, so he had picked out a plain white t-shirt, a pair of black jeans and his usual black leather jacket.

Heading out of the house, it was now early afternoon and he had decided to meet up with Julianna at the local Costa for a hot chocolate. She had called him when he was in the middle of getting himself ready and requested to meet at one in the afternoon. She told him that she wanted to talk to him about a few things. Curious as to what she had to say, he agreed. So now he was heading there to meet her. He would have been lying to himself if he said that he wasn't nervous.

During the week that had just passed, the only things the two had spoken about were memories from Joshua and Julianna's childhood, and Eric's new baby. They had both avoided the subject of their break up and everything that had happened between them.

Of course Marcus was much more emotionally stable now than he had been. The anger phase of his grieving for his sister had passed and he was now onto the second phase. Guilt. Though it was not much better than the first, at least now he could trust himself to not hurt Julianna but to support her instead.

Arriving at Costa, he looked around trying to spot her amongst the few people that were in the shop. His eyes fell on her as she flagged him down, waving her hands in the air at him and calling his name from the queue. He waved back at her and pointed to an empty table, signaling to her that he was going to grab them a table before they were all taken.

He took a seat in a booth and patiently waited for her to join him. It was only a few minutes before she did. Taking in the sight of her as she took a seat, he let out a contented sigh. It was as though she knocked all air out of his lungs. She had always had a special beauty but this day in particular, she looked extremely beautiful. Her usually straight blonde hair was curled and fell around her shoulders in loose curls and the outfit that she was wearing was very far from her usual bad girl style. She was wearing a pure white dress that fell just above her knees, it had black butterflies across the chest area and a belt around the waistline. Along with the dress, she wore plain black flat shoes. To him, she looked like an angel in that moment.

"Hey." She greeted him, giving him a small welcoming smile.

"Hey...so uh, what did you wanna talk about?" He asked, his curiosity growing.

"A few things but mostly one thing." She? informed him, the smile still on her face.

"Well I uh....I need to..to talk to you about something too." He stuttered, still starstruck by her appearance. She laughed a little at him tripping over his words.

"It's okay. Relax." She told him, noticing how he was biting his lower lip.

"Oh no I am. It's just that you uh...you look beautiful." He complimented, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks. For a moment she didn't know what to say, but she quickly widened her smile at him and got over the slight embarrassment.

"Thank you." She replied, appreciating his manners. It was then that she thought it would be appropriate to bring up the few things she needed to get off her chest.

"The reason I asked you to meet me here is because there's a few things that I feel I need to tell you." She began, waiting for him to give her the go ahead.

"You can talk to me about anything you want, so go on.." he permitted, anticipating her next response.

"As you know, when we were fighting those creatures, things between us got really messy and a lot happened after that. The reason we separated was because we both needed time. This week I've been doing some thinking. Since my mother died, I have come to realise one thing in particular and that is that life is way too short and any one of us could be killed at any point, so I don't wanna waste time. We wasted five years hiding our feelings and I don't wanna go back to doing that, which is why I'm telling you this now. This week I've also had time to heal and move on from what you said to me back when you lost Layla. I don't know how you're feeling at the moment but I would like for you to tell me because the truth is....I miss you Marcus. I mean, I miss how we were." She explained, feeling a weight lift from her chest as she finished speaking.

"I miss you too Julie. I've been missing you so badly. I was scared of telling you because I know you're still struggling with the passing of your mother and I thought you might need time. But now that you have brought up the subject, I feel like I can tell you without overwhelming you now. After Layla died I was a complete wreck and I wasn't in the right head to be listening to anyone but now while it still hurts I'm ready to let people back in, to let you back in. I was wrong for shutting you out in the first place rather than just letting you be there for me. So how about we be there for each other? I would love it if we could start a fresh." He admitted, a spark of hope rising in his chest.

"Of course. I still love you Marcus, and I'm not ready to let go of that, I don't think I'll ever be able to." She agreed, feeling the happiest she had all week.

"I love you too." He said simply and leaned over the table to kiss her. For the first time in forever, everything felt right.

"We have a bit of time still before the ceremony, what do you want to do?" She asked, looking into his ocean blue eyes. Gorgeous eyes that she could get lost in.

"I don't mind. Want a tour of my new home?" He asked, feeling a little lame for not coming up with something more entertaining.

"Sure." She replied, standing up ready to leave with him. He stood up as well and took her hand into his, loving how hers fit so perfectly into his.

*************

Back at his Grandfather's house, he showed Julianna around every room, from the three bathrooms, to all the guest rooms and the two kitchens. She looked around every room in awe, and by the time he had finished giving her a tour, she was absolutely blown away by this amazing house that Marcus now lived in.

Still having a little more time to kill after the tour, they hung out in his room for at least an hour, during which they play fought, made out a lot, and watched a few funny videos on Tik Tok on Marcus's phone. Time flew by and before they knew it, it was time to head to his family's old tomb. Before they left, Marcus quickly went back up to his room, found the silver cross that Layla had given him for his birthday and clipped it around his neck. Then he joined Julianna outside and they headed off towards the cemetery.

Once they arrived, Joshua, Eric and Maria, with their newborn son, were already there. The candles were in place too but were not lit just yet. As they settled into the scene, Eric handed each of them a flying lantern.

"Here we go." Joshua commented before Eric took over, giving the opening speech.

"As you all know, each one of us in this room, have lost a lot in the space of such a short time, we have fought hard to the point of nearing a mental breakdown. Some of us even having a break down..." He began, glancing at Marcus as he said the last sentence, then he continued, "We have almost lost our lives fighting the evil that was threatening us and unfortunately not all of us are here to see this day. That is why we are all here. To say goodbye, and get the closure that we all need. We are here to honour my mother. Her name was Emilia. She was a strong woman, she gave me the best life she could, right up until her life was cruelly snatched by the man who is supposed to be my father. I never got the chance to say thank you to her, for giving me the chance in life that she never had. So thank you mum. I love you forever." Eric finished, lighting one of the candles and the lantern that was in his hands, looking to the twins to say their words of goodbye next.

He handed the lighter to Joshua as the blonde boy stepped forward ready to give his speech.

"My mother...what can I say? She was one hell of a woman. Unfortunately my father didn't always see her true worth, and he resented us for the life that he had to give up. Yet she took it in her stride, always did her best to protect us from him. If only we had known what it was doing to her, if only I could take back that night when our father got sent to prison. Then there would be a chance that she would still be here. I'm so sorry mum. I never meant for anyone to get hurt." Joshua finished, his voice trembling on the last sentence. He then sucked in a deep breath before lighting one of the candles and the lantern that was in his hands. Once they were lit, he stepped back, handing the lighter to his sister.

"Most of the time, I was the one who had the responsibility of looking after our family, since our mother wasn't quite able to manage. But I didn't mind helping out, and the few times that our mother actually did step up, are now memories that I will treasure forever. I'm sorry that I had to send you out of the house that night. I thought I was protecting you. It turns out the monster that is alcohol was the bigger threat to you. I will do everything in my power to look after the people you loved most mum, I promise. Until my heart stops beating." Julianna spoke, the pain raw in her voice. It was by far the hardest speech she had ever had to give. Stepping back after lighting the candle and lantern, she handed the lighter to Marcus and wiped the tears away from her eyes.

Marcus stepped forward, his heart pounding in his chest, feeling as though? it was going to burst out of his chest. He felt so guilty for not being able to save his sister. The guilt was almost too much to handle. But he did. For the family that he had built. The family that was right there with him in this tomb.

"I...." He began, uncertain of what to say, then he continued, speaking only from his heart. "I'm so sorry Layla. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to save you in time. Your blood is on my hands and it is an awful feeling. One that I will live with for the rest of my life. Big brother's are meant to protect their little sisters, no matter what. But I screwed that up, and the truth is that I'm scared of screwing up the few good things I got going for me right now. Layla, you were an amazing sister, I miss the times we shared together. Our little traditions and everything. It feels so wrong not having you here with us right now. There is a void in my heart that will never be filled. I promise to try and do right by you. I'm so sorry that I failed you." He finished, tears escaping his eyes as he lit the candle and the lantern.

Now that everyone had spoken words of goodbye to their lost loved ones, they headed outside the tomb and released the lanterns one by one up into the air. They then headed back inside the tomb to sign their signatures on the bear that Julianna had bought with her. Once all their signatures were on it, Eric took it and placed it at the back of the tomb on one of the benches.

"Excuse me for a moment." Marcus said, and walked out of the tomb and a little bit further.

Growing concerned, Julianna followed him. This time she wasn't nervous because she knew what to say.

"Marcus." She began. He turned to face her. He did not respond. So she spoke again, "It's okay Marcus. I'm here for you. You're okay." She stated, walking right up to him.

"I know. Thank you Julie. But you're wrong about one thing." He responded, the pain clear in his voice.

"What is that?" She asked, patiently waiting for him to correct her.

"I'm not okay." He admitted, falling into her arms.

Once she had him sat down, they talked a lot. During which he explained to her what he did the night before his mother kicked him out. About how he had gotten up and purposely wounded himself in order to try and feel something. He told her of all the nightmares and the intrusive thoughts, explaining how the guilt felt in detail. He mentioned how his heart had ached for her when he thought he had lost her, and how it ached for his real home, and how unsettled he had felt, feeling like it wasn't over. Everything that he had kept buried inside since turning sixteen, came out into the open. Julianna listened very carefully, latching onto his every word. With him being so open, she would now know exactly how to help him in these difficult times.