Chapter 15 Chapter 15

His words should send my heart into ecstasy, in world where nothing matters except happiness, where there was no ugliness of reality, no fear and eventually no malice.

But it wasn't the occurrence. My heart wasn't in delight, it wasn't in bliss, I wasn't feeling what I should feel instead new fear, new dread was slowly wrapping me in its clutches.

At first, I felt nothing, like someone had given me numbing drug, like I was somewhere else where I couldn't feel a thing. My heart was beating but my mind wasn't working anymore.

Then there was pain, the pain I felt when I lost my babies, when my blessings were snatched away from me. My heart clenched painfully, breathing become hazardous.

Gradually, I calmed myself. Assuring myself, I was again blessed with God's gift. God had decided to give me my babies back, that now I would had someone to call me mother. And I would cherish my child with love I missed.

But somewhere in between happiness, my heart knew having a child with him would cage me with him for eternity. I would never be free from his clutches, that he would cage me in his hands forever, in those hands that so many times had stripped me naked off my dignity, of my courage, of my humanity.

Gradually, after spending whole night, awake, with no hint of light, letting darkness engulfed me, I came to conclusion that no matter what, I could never escape him. He had made sure for me to believe that I could never get away from him.

Surprisingly, this pregnancy bomb exploded emotions inside Lucifer as after calming me down, rubbing my back for few minutes, he tucked me in sheets before storming away with Draven. He wasn't back yet, which I thought he purposely was doing or was it was a lucky coincidence.

Having a child with Lucifer was never on my list—I dreaded the thought, but now that I was pregnant with his child, different-different thoughts were invading my mind. Maybe it was pregnancy hormones or I was closing my mind but at this moment I wanted but I wanter my tormentor's arms around me in a gentle hold—even though I feared his return.

A small, very tiny part of me wanted to know how he felt about this, about me, being pregnant, with his child.

I tossed and turned whole night, mind filled with thousands of things, pregnancy being prior, and when warm rays of sunshine hit my face I realised my head was pounding loudly.

~

"What the fuck was that, Lucifer?!"

Lucifer placed his hands on his knees as he panted heavily, trying to catch his breath. He felt the blood drop from the side of his head and quickly wiped it off so that he could focus on coming hammer.

"I told you use your left side to defend yourself! How will you fucking rule my kingdom?! You're nothing but a fucking brat!" Kendrio snarled angrily storming to his son.

Panic and dread wrapped around his soul as he saw his father picking up the sword before coming his way. Lucifer was a child but anything, at age he should play with children of his age, his father was making him a warrior, a monster for entire world to fear. Kendrio raised his hand in air before waving the sword in Lucifer's direction.

Lucifer immediately dodged as he rolled to his side. His eyes wide, fear rolling down, and anticipation slowly creeping inside his mind.

"I-I'm sorry!" He cried as Kendrio slashed Lucifer arm with sword, making blood seeping through it. He didn't stopped there instead raised his hand again before landing a hard punch on Lucifer's face making him fell on the ground, screaming and crying in agony.

"I can't believe I have a disgrace as a son." Kendrio muttered before leaving seven years old Lucifer on ground, in his own pool of blood, crying in intense pain and agony.

~

Lucifer sat in his meeting room, all alone, with vodka as companion, drowning himself in bitter alcohol, and affliction. His body was leaned back slightly, with his arms neatly placed on table, other hand gripping stem of glass he greedily guessed down.

She's pregnant.

Draven's words played in his mind like ugly reel. For the first time in hundred years, he felt scared, not for himself and strangely not for Sarah but for little life growing inside her, the child she was carrying, the child who would call him father.

His heart clenched with pain.

He poured another glass of expensive liquor, almost spilling half on his hand and hungrily gulped it down.

Sarah carefully got up when her head pounded again. But sleep was nowhere near her, though she was feeling tired and exhausted. She had spend whole night balling her eyes out, controlling her emotions, residing pain in her chest, and still she felt strange.

And all she needed was someone, anyone, even Lucifer, to accompany her, to show her everything would be alright, to tell her, he run born child would be safe.

She found herself walking towards the door and surprisingly it wasn't locked. With determination in her mind, she took slow and hesitant steps towards where she thought Lucifer would be. She hated him with everything in her but still she couldn't ignore the fact that he was her child's father.

Father. A monster who will become a father.

She scoffed inwardly. She knew it was a bad idea but sooner than possible, she found herself knocking his office door. It was very few times she had visited this room but all visits held different terrific memories. She stopped before she could change her mind.

She was about to knock again when a voice stopped her.

"He's not here." She jumped startled, to see Draven leaning against the pillar with his hands crossed over his chest. She left confused by the small smile on his face, which didn't creeped her out as it should be.

"Oh.." She felt a pang of disappointment in her chest as she waited for miracle to happen and Lucifer burst in through those doors.

She nearly groaned in frustration on this thought, must be pregnancy hormones.

"Can we...talk?" Draven chose his words carefully. His soft green eyes softened as he glanced at scared woman in front of him, ruined by fate, stripped by the one who was supposed to be her savior.

Sarah looked confused at Draven, thinking if she should talk, or go back to room. But something in he told to accept his request. She nodded, gulping her anxiousness. Draven knew she wasn't comfortable with him and he was the one to blame for that.

He nodded before motioning her to follow him. Sarah without due followed after him, keeping distance between them and noting where he was taking her. Draven walked and led themselves towards garden, under balcony of Sarah's room.

Sarah closed her eyes, breathed in the fresh morning air, and a small smile decorated her face. Draven couldn't help but felt more guilt eating him inside.

"Sit." Draven offered her bench as he himself sat on another side of bench. Sarah carefully sat on bench as she waited for Draven to say something, to tell her what he wanted to talk about.

She noted look of pain and hurt on Draven's face before he sighed and closed his eyes.

"He was an unwanted child by his father." Draven said breaking the silence. For a moment Sarah couldn't understand what he was talking about, but gradually she understood that he was talking about Lucifer. "His father never said it to his face, but his actions were...perceptive. And Lucifer somehow sensed he wasn't wanted. And he intended to do whatever he could do to prove himself worthy for his father's affection, his love."

Draven shrugged. "But his mother, Queen Nora Adamos, did everything in he power to fill the void in Lucifer's heart. After her death, he spend most of his immortal life hating everyone, revenging his loved ones. His life is nothing but pain and anguish, hatred and killing. Love was never there when he needed it and know he only know one emotion...anger."

Sarah snorted. "If he has spend his life in pain then why is he giving me pain?"

Draven looked at Sarah curiously before he smiled. "It's his way to show you his love."

Sarah looked at Draven confused. "What?"

"Well," Draven said thoughtfully as he lenses back against bench. "He himself is oblivious of his emotions, he hurt you whenever he feels you're breaking the walls he has build around him, he feels attacked. But he is unaware that you have already broke his walls."

Sarah worried her bottom lip as Draven gathered his thoughts.

"He need what no one ever gave him, what he desires but he cannot get, and now when he's starting to feel for you, he's panicking inside, he don't know what he should do, so he does only thing he knows, he hurts you." Draven said bitterly.

Sarah watched Draven carefully, processing his words.

"You mean to say...he..he loves me?" She said Evelyn with calculated words. Draven lowered his head and sighed.

"Lucifer is...damaged. I mean...the first person he loved, other than his mother, betrayed him, after that when he tried to calm his heart, his mother was murdered, this fire of vengeance, of revenge, burned the love inside him and after that all he knew was destroying, destruction of things or...people. He has lost the ability to love years ago, before you were born but now he's having those emotions again and he's scared of outcomes."?

Sarah looked at Draven startled by his response.

"He has lost...hope." Sarah mumbled. Draven gave her a strained smile and nodded.

Blood splattered on the floor as Lucifer took another sharp blow to his face. His weak and fragile body collapsed on the ground a she laid on floor in his own pool of blood.

Every muscle that wasn't torn the lashings he took moments ago, ached something fierce. He could barely move his knee that was smashed to pieces. His fingers bled as he tried to push himself up.

But Lucifer was already at brink of death.

"L-Lucifer!"

Lucifer's head shook as he struggled to look up. He saw his mother at the corner of the small dungeon. She stared at him in pure shock and as tears streamed down her plump dirt stained cheeks.

"M-mo-ther." Lucifer struggled to speak. His voice had torn from how much he screamed when his own father tortured him in name of training. He could barely see through his one eye that wasn't swollen.

Nora's mouth parted in horror at the sight of her son who barely seemed alive. She cried as she tried to open the doors of dungeons which were locked from outside with thick vervain chain.

"Lucifer!!" She cried out as she fell on her knees.

Lucifer looked up and his heart pained to see his mother engulfed by fear and distress that reflected in her blue eyes. His mind was slowly drifting back to words his father said to him after locking him up in cellars.

'You're a weak and pathetic creature! I wished I never had a son!'

A terrible slipped down Lucifer's bruised cheeks as he closed his eyes. His father's words were more painful than any wound he had suffered.

Lucifer jolted as door of dungeons opened and Kendrio walked in with two guards behind him.

"What the hell did I say about defying me?!" Kendrio growled grabbing Nora by her hairs.

"NO!" Lucifer's eyes widened as he snarled loudly. Without hesitation, Lucifer charged towards the door but two guards stopped him by grabbing his arms and pinning him to ground.

"Kendrio! Please!" Nora begged as Kendrio dragged her away from cellars.

"You need to learn some fucking rules! I shouldn't have married a fucking weak and pathetic vampire like you! I just can't believe you're sister of strongest vampire in this fucking world! I should send you back to Everett! At least he knows how to fucking tame his own sister!" Kendrio snarled tightening his hold on her hairs. Lucifer watched in anticipation and fear as guards shackled his arms to walls.

"NO! NOT HER! PUNISH ME INSTEAD! NOT HER!!" Lucifer screamed desperately as he struggled with cabins around him.

"KENDRIO! NO! PLEASE!" Nora screamed before the door slammed shut, silencing her cries.

"MOTHER!"

Lucifer abruptly shot up from his chair as he breathed heavily. His chest moved up and down as he took deep and steady breaths.

He looked around when he rubbed his face with his hands.

****