Chapter 2: mind made up

In the end, we always think of the one thing we try to forget, because for you to forget something you have to constantly remind yourself it's not there. In that process of trying to forget, small glimpses of it trickle in slowly. Making it impossible to fully forget it. Is that what's happening to me? Is me trying to forget today's events making it even more impossible to forget? Does that even make sense? Or maybe this is all some silly joke and I...

"is everything okay sweetheart?" my mother asked, a little bit concerned.

"no, everything is fine", I said before taking another bite from the roast chicken and salads that she cooked and placed neatly on the table. Then came the silence again as I drifted back into my thoughts this time lasting the entire meal time. After dinner, I helped my mom with the dishes because she seems to be getting a little tired lately. After I finished, I dried off my hands, took off the corny "kiss the cook", apron I wore and headed to my room.

My mom was lying on the couch. She must have dozed off watching some kind of romcom that was on. I walked up to where she was, grabbed a small grey fleece from the seat handle in hopes of covering her up, because it was getting a bit cold. Instead, I found myself just standing there, staring at her. I don't know why, but suddenly my mind was flooded by a new thought. That of my father. we lost him when I was 8 and well, we never talked about him Ever since then, not even about how he died, all I know is that he is dead. It was almost like my mother just shoved his entire existence in a brief case, threw it down a river and just walked away. Leaving me on the edge watching it being carried away, hoping it doesn't go too far down the river, to a point where I can never see it again. His death also forced my stay at home mom to get not one but two jobs. As a sales assistant and a cashier at a supermarket just around the corner.

I stood long enough to realize the true reason why I was still standing there just staring. It was because for the longest time. I have been wanting to tell my mom how grateful I am, and Tell her that I want to help her too, because I think she really needs it. we both do. Instead, I just tucked her in the fleece and went to my room. I closed the door and jumped on my bed, grabbing my phone which I found ringing.

"where were you?" Maureen asked in her usual mad and sassy voice.

"I was having dinner, what's up?"

"did that excuse of a man convince you to come?"

"excuse of a... damn its Maureen, I'm literally right here", john yelled from out of the blues. "what are you doing here?" she asked.

"you added me", john said still yelling. "oh yeah, well did you convince him?" she kept asking

I realized that john would get a mouthful from Maureen if he told her that he didn't give a valid reason for me to go, so I stepped in.

"I'm not going", I said. Creating a deadly silence that I knew would be followed by countless questions and muttering so I had to give a reason, well the only reason I had.

"I'm not going because, well my mom has been looking pretty exhausted lately and I'm scared she might not survive without me", I chuckled a little but you could here some sadness in my voice.

"you're seriously not going? this is going to be our last trip together and well we have something to tell yo...." Maureen said before I interrupted.

"I.... uh... I have to go. it's getting really late and I'm very tired so, uh you guys tell me how it goes when you get back. Bye.", I ended the call before any of the could respond.

I put my phone to the side and planted my head in my pillow, hoping I would fall asleep before my mind decides to add this to the list of things to overthink.

What I didn't know was that my mother had woken up from her nap and had heard every word I spoke, especially her involvement in my decision to not go. she didn't want to be the reason I don't go for this trip. So, she decided to take matters in her own hands.

Morning came, the sun was barely up and I was as sound as a baby. Well, until I wasn't.

"hey, kiddo wake up, you're going to be late." My mom said as she scurried in my room grabbing my clothes from the drawers and stuffing them in a suitcase.

"l...late.... Late for what?" I said, barely able to formulate actual words.

"the school trip, I heard you and your friends talking about its last night", this time she said while grabbing my shoes and some socks from under the bed.

"were you eavesdropping?" I asked this time a bit more sober. "more like wondering what my child's whispering to his friends in the middle of the night", she tried to defend.

"parental concern doesn't excuse eavesdroppi... mom could you just stop and listen", this time I yelled getting a bit aggravated by her constant moving and packing.

"listen kid, I know you don't want to go because of me, sure I've been tired lately but I'm really fine, plus what kind of parent would I be if I let you miss a chance at making friends because of me"

"but mom"

"get your butt in that shower now, we leave in 10 minutes."

I knew that arguing any further would be pointless. She looks like her mind is made up. So, I took a shower got, all dressed up and finished packing. Then in 10 minutes we were off for school.

I thought id text my friends, but I decided it would be better if I surprised them. When we got to school, I got out, took my luggage from the back of the van and headed straight for my mom.

"are you sure you're going to be alright? Maybe I can come back with you and I can...",

She then placed her hand on my cheek. "I'm going to be fine; you just go an have some fun alright."

"ok mom, I will. Goodbye",

"goodbye sweetheart". She said before driving off until our small blue family van was out of sight.

I decided to go to the parking square and wait for my friends, who hadn't yet arrived. I sat on one of the benches at the car park alone with my thoughts again. After a few minutes, I started to doze off, eventually falling asleep. Then being woken by someone I would never expect to well talk to me.

"I'm glad you came".

It was Richie and he was actually talking to me. His style was a bit different today. He wore some cargo shorts, a plain white t-shirt and some really questionable crocks, but he still looked marvelous.

"uh.... Yeah, I'm also glad you look so hot, I mean you look so hot I'm glad, I mean...... thanks", I said chuckling while mentally drowning myself in a river.

"haha you're funny, I like that." He laughed

"yo.... you do?" I stuttered

He didn't respond, he just got up and looked me dead in the eye again. What the hell does this male model want from me. He then moved closer to me and reached for the suitcase that stood between my feet. I'm not going to lie, that in my head got a little erotic real fast. He then lifted my suitcase and took a couple steps forward. Wait, is he robbing me?

"you're sitting with me come on, unless you were hoping to sit with someone el....",

I then got up quick and stood next to him.

"nope, ill.... Uh be happy to sit with you."

"great come on then." He said with a wider smile that the one before.

We walked together all the way to the yellow school bus at the other side of the parking lot. He then placed my suitcase with the rest and showed where he was sitting. It was three seats from the back. He let me sit next to the window. After about thirsty minutes Maureen and john arrived as well, but since they were late, they sat all the way Infront. They were too far to reach. So, I decided id let them know I was with them when we arrived as a surprise.

It wasn't until 15 minutes after they arrived. Did things start to get weird. Well, Richie decided he didn't want to start this journey sober so he went to go smuggle a beer.

After he left, my phone kept buzzing and buzzing, even though I remember it dying because I never charged it before coming here. I checked it more times than I can remember. But every time I did, the screen was always just black. The buzzing got to the point where it now annoyed other people. I decided to take out the battery. Which was of no use. After a straight 10 minutes of buzzing, it stopped. But it left a message.

"get ready"

Then the screen went black.

"is everything okay?" Richie asked as he sat back down with a couple of beer cans in his hands.

"everything is uh.... fine,"

I hope.