In exile

A ray of sunlight peeked in through the holes in the wooden wall. The warmth of the sun was biting right on his face. Xuan Yuan woke up. His eyes closed as soon as the sun glared at him. With his eyes closed, he got up, still sitting on the couch. Circulate views. Trying to wake up his memory before he fell into a deep sleep that seemed like he had slept for a long time. 1 minute was enough to remember the incident on the mountain that made him want to run far.....far. The memory screen rotated above his head. Back to all the events of yesterday.

Last night he was so tired that he didn't look closely in the room. The room is small but neatly arranged, one thing that makes him very interested, the 3 pictures on the table. The picture made his heart feel at peace, very peaceful in fact. Never had he felt such peace. It was as if a veil of darkness was exposed and light came in, lightening his mind which was full of loneliness, longing, worry, restlessness, and loss of confidence in himself. Replaced with peace, inner calm, belief in himself. He felt as if he had found a very precious treasure, worth more than his own life. He felt grateful.

Xuan Yuan decided to pull the window curtains aside, allowing the sunlight to fully penetrate the space. The refreshing air made his memory just momentarily forgotten. His eyes were closed, his face stretched, his lips an inch wide.

There was a knock on the bedroom door. Xuan Yuan opened the door. There was the radiant face of the girl who had let him stay the night. A small towel filled her hands. "Good morning" she said "this is a towel if you want to rinse your face" she said as she handed him a towel.

"Thank you" Xuan Yuan replied and accepted the towel.

Nhamso pointed out where Xuan Yuan could wash his face. In the backyard, Same view from the girl room window. The expanse of green grass and perched trees towered over. "If you're done, breakfast is ready on the dining table" Nhamso's words woke him from his thoughts. She did not wait for an answer, she just disappeared behind the door.

After he cleanup, he come inside the house, he saw on the table, the food served is a bowl of Tsampa, a staple food for the city, namely flour made from a type of roasted barley that can be eaten directly in powder form or mixed with water or tea. This food has filled his stomach these few mornings. and 3 cups of tea.

"Please have a seat" Nhamso's voice sounded to his left. He turned his head toward her. A smile appeared on his little face. Nhamso's mother entered the room. Sit together with them to enjoy breakfast. After that Mrs. Nhamso went to the center of the city, leaving Nhamso and Xuan Yuan to sit together in the front yard.

An awkward atmosphere spread between them. "I'm sorry last night," said Nhamso not wanting to let the awkwardness go on any longer. "I didn't mean to..." interrupted "Right, absolutely no desire to hurt your heart. I just want to prove that what I have said is true." Nhamso's heart sank, there was no response from Xuan Yuan, making her heart even more anxious.

"No" a word came out, suddenly making Nhamso startled but not making Xuan Yuan turn to her "There is nothing to apologize for, instead I thank you for revealing the truth about my past. If you don't tell me, maybe until now I still think that my parents died from a serious illness as Master Chi You always said, and he was kind enough to take care of me. But I also know that what Zhi Qiang said last night is also true. I know he is very sorry for what he has done. Because all this time, if I were to talk about my parents, not a single word would come out of his lips and his face would turn deathly pale. It means he is very sorry and in fact he loves me more than anything. Makes my heart hurt even more. I want to be angry at him, but I can't because I really love him. He's the only person in this world who makes me feel safe and comfortable, and I already consider him as my father" an expression he didn't realize, he didn't know why he could be so loose in front of this girl. As if he didn't want to keep everything from her.

A breath burst out of Xuan Yuan's mouth, the air carried away his confusion. "Then why did he have to kill my parents, what did they do wrong?" the question just hangs there. Silence..... long..... The grass swayed to the rhythm of the wind. Move limply to the right and left.

"What's your name?" Xuan Yuan asked breaking the silence.

"Oo...." Nhamso looked at Xuan Yuan who was now also looking at him "hmm.... Nhamso, Chogyap Nhamso" she replied in a small voice

"I am Xuan Yuan, Shi Xuan Yuan…, nice to meet you" a forced smile appeared on his face.

"Nice to meet you too" replied Nhamso

Awkwardness crept in once again.

"I'm sorry I overheard your conversation, when your mother slightly refused to let me stay the night. What happened to your grandfather?" asked Xuan Yuan, curious.

"Hmm... Grandfather..." was silent for a moment, sadness appeared on Nhamso's face who chose to stare at the green grass in front of her. "Grandfather died defending this country, he was a palace official before this country was taken over by your country. he was killed in the Lais palace because he did not say where the leader of the Tham country had gone".

"Then where is your leader now?" Xuan Yuan cut in

She looked at Xuan Yuan carefully, but she knew that Xuan Yuan was someone she could trust "In exile, he lives in seclusion". She replied "However, he still guides us spiritually from there". She turned hers gaze back to the front "that day was a very terrible day for the entire population of Tham country. There were so many palace guards in all corners of Tham Country. Houses were burned, their inhabitants killed indiscriminately. Parents are deliberately killed in front of their children, and they are left to live with bitter memories, trauma, terror that will not be forgotten for a lifetime. Living alone without parents. The monks were beaten, kicked, blood everywhere, asking them to give up the monastic life, to return to the life of a lay people. If you don't want to be killed immediately on the spot. It was a time of death for many monks, because they would rather die than have to break the oath they had taken. However, there are monks who choose to take off their robes, return to lay people life, because they think of their parents and family. The houses of worship were destroyed. Only a few houses of worship can still be used but are no longer intact, some have been destroyed and cannot be used anymore. The fire consumed everything, the holy books were also burned, only a few could be saved." Nhamso was silent, holding back the tears that had been unstoppable since she started telling the story of what had happened 50 years ago. "Why, why is your Ruler so cruel?" Nhamso looked at Xuan Yuan, tears rolling down her cheeks. Her face that had been cheerful, was no longer visible. Just sadness. Sorrow. "Our country lives in prosperity and peace, why should your ruler destroy it?". Nhamso burst into tears.