The labyrinth of soul introspection

"You need to get out of here, this is not where you should be. You don't deserve to be here. before it's too late, get out of here quickly" Xuan Lung tried to let go and pushed Phoenix from his embrace. The longer a soul that entered the labyrinth of soul introspection, the more lost they would get, and he didn't want that to happen to her. It was the last thing he wanted to happen.

"No, I've been here a long time looking for you. No need to worry about me, My belief in being able to find you, keeps me awake from a lost soul. I'm here to take you out with me. I know how frustrating it is for a soul to enter here. Frustrating to get out of here fast. Hope they don't lose their minds and their souls don't get lost" Phoenix said breathlessly, happy that she finally found him. And that happiness cannot be described in words.

The Phoenix's words stunned Xuan Lung, his mind drifting back to the moment he was venting his despair, at losing her from his grasp. Until he did something he shouldn't have done. And that feeling still haunts him to this day, ever since he realized how his actions made the person, he loved dissolve into despair and leave him the next day, when he wanted to see how she was. At least he wished she was still alive and watching her face shatter into pieces, just like his heart had been shattered ever since he found out she had been with another man.

Xuan Lung's right hand rose, gently cupping Phoenix's left cheek. His face was filled with guilt. "I shouldn't have done that to you, I'm sorry. I should have gone to find you and clear things up, but what I did actually crushed you to the point that despair overtook you, and you resigned yourself to fate. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry" he finally got the words he wanted to say. He curled up in Phoenix's arms.

Since that morning, the morning in the dark clouds that hung in the sky, the dark clouds that made his heart even darker and murkier. The moment he saw her body lying limp on the ground. His heart was sliced to see the figure he loved was lifeless. He wanted to tear his own heart apart, a heart that had no humanity, a heart so dark that it lost its mind, a heart filled with revenge and anger until he could no longer see clearly, a heart that was in the midst of despair decided to do something cruel to the person he loves. The brutal hallucinations he created for her. Just to vent the anger and despair he felt.

"Shh…. I know, I know you didn't mean to do it. I see you, crying over my death body. I know how much you mourned my death, and condemned the things you did to me. I know all that. I am here now" yes, she wants to be by his side. When he needed it the most. She knew very well the feeling he was feeling right now. because she ever felt it. The feeling of being left by the people she loves, her family, her lover. The hopelessness she felt she could not contain, the sense of loneliness at the end of her life. Without being accompanied by the person she loves. For that she is here, with him. Of course, with him as a friend.

"At least here, in this labyrinth of soul introspection, I can feel the pain you felt at that time, to the point where it took your life. I'm sorry, I should have been by your side when you needed me" Xuan Lung's sobs sounded as if they were slicing hearts, sad.

"It's okay, it's enough for you to regret what you did, that's enough for me." Phoenix's gentle tone and demeanour were all that could be done at this moment. to be able to calm him down.

"Now, can I ask and clear up this misunderstanding?" he asked carefully, his eyes looking sadly at Phoenix.

"Sure, what do you want to ask?" Phoenix displayed a reassuring smile, signalling to Xuan Luan, she was ready to answer any questions he would ask.

Xuan Lung, stammered, he was confused where to start. But he steeled himself, putting on a calm face he said "Why, why didn't you wait for me back then? You promised me that you would wait for me. Why did you turn your back on me and have a relationship with another man?"

Phoenix patiently heard the question that was asked by him. When he finished asking, she took a deep breath, then slowly exhaled. She anticipated, forming the right words for her to say. Trying to avoid misunderstandings that are getting deeper.

"Well, I love you Hai Zian, even love you more than myself. But the love I felt is only a friend. I love being around you, you have an open mind and can find things that I can't and think logically. I like your personality, which is calm, not easily offended. Of course, this is how I felt when we were little kids back then. You always accompany me, make my days filled with peace and quiet. But all of that suddenly disappeared when you and your family went to another settlement. My days become lonely, I have no one to share ideas with and play with. Every day I pray for your speedy return. I waited and waited, until thirteen years had passed. And during that time there was no news from you. Once upon a time, I heard from father say, if the settlement you are staying is hijacked by bandits, many people die, but not many survived and escape from the bandits' attacks. it makes me sad. But I still hope, waiting for you to come back. Unfortunately, no news from you, I even eavesdropped from travelers, who crossed our settlement. There is absolutely no news at all. Until in the end I accepted the fact that you had died and that made me sad, I tried to get up. And at that moment Xuan Ti appeared, filling the void I felt. And gradually our relationship from acquaintances, became friends and turned into lovers. We love each other. In the end father decided to marry us. Then you yourself know what happened next..., I'm sorry..." the word of apology that she said seemed hard to say but at least he could say it, even though it was with great difficulty. At the end her words, she felt relieved.

Now he knows his mistake, his mistake is very small. He should have tried various ways to send messages, letters or whatever to Phoenix. But it's not that he doesn't want to, because the settlement he lives in is very harsh, he doesn't trust anyone, not even close family can be relied on. So, Phoenix can't be blamed, they both suffered. "I'm sorry it turned out that in the first place, everything was my fault, if I could send a letter to you, at least I still have hope, but now it's too late. I accept what happened, I'm sorry..." This time he lowered his head, between sadness, shame, helplessness, but from all that he was feeling right now, he felt relieved, at least he now knows the cause.

"It's fine, I'm glad you can accept it now. But keep it in your mind, you will always be someone I like and be proud of" a small smile adorned Phoenix's face, while looking at the figure of the man in front of her, whose face she could not see fully, because it was hidden by her flowing hair and almost covering his face which was looking down.

Silence enveloped them. Both feel the closeness that they once had. And now it's back to bloom. Seconds turned to minutes, time seemed to stop. Until finally Phoenix broke the silence.

"Hmm we need to get out of here now, would you coming with me, go out of here?" Phoenix let go of his embrace. Staring into Xuan Lung's eyes which had now changed to one of relief and peace. At least he has made peace with his dark side, and pushed out looking for a bright side that is far more meaningful.

"Hmm, let's get out of here" Xuan Lung replied, but the next second his brows furrowed, hesitating. "But how do we get out of here? Once a soul enters here, it is very difficult to get out, unless..." his words trailed off, hesitating.

"Yes, unless that soul has already realized the wrong it has done and is at peace with it, and intends to correct it, that soul has already broken free from the shackles of the labyrinth of soul introspection." Phoenix smiled broadly at him. Glad he was able to realize it from the mistake he made, not only did she make Xuan Lung reconcile from the guilt, she herself also made peace from the same guilt. And now both of them have been released from the shackles of the existence of wrong affection.