Love me back

*****

Rania sat relaxed while watching a large TV that was attached to the wall. Rian was busy clearing the table, once in a while Rania glanced at him. Rian quickly cleared the dishes, wiped the table and washed the dishes. Rian seems to be used to homework, the figure of a perfectionist man.

"Are you satisfied that you admire me?" Rian approached and stood in front of him.

"Huh? N-no." Rania turned her gaze back to the screen.

"Then why do your eyes keep following my every move?" Rian sat next to Rania, looking into her eyes.

“Hahaha… you are too confident.”

"Hemm, looks like a lie."

Rania glared. "I'm bored, there are no interesting programs. All soap opera scenes are excessive, too made up. Entertainment discusses unimportant gossip, which appears on TV mostly in settings. Why aren't there music shows like before?"

"Hahaha, you're cute when you pout." Rian pinched the woman's cheek in exasperation, Rania squeaked at her. "Then wait, I'll make one for you, what kind of music show do you want?"

"What, make it for me?"

"Yeah, it's easy. If you like it I'll do it."

Rania rolled her eyes. “Yes, yes… the great Mr. Rian.”

Rian smiled then folded one leg onto the sofa and hugged the woman from the side. He rested his chin on Rania's narrow shoulder. The woman gasped, unprepared for Rian's sudden treatment.

Rania focused her gaze on the screen and fell silent. 'Why does it have to be like this, I'm afraid I'll fall in love again. Rian, I have kept your love deep in my heart. I'm afraid to start again'

"Ra… I really miss you."

"Rian, don't be like this, I'm not used to it."

Rian released his embrace, then Rania's shoulder was turned to face him. They stared at each other, but the woman avoided the gaze. Rian cupped his hands to the face of this beautiful woman, Rania gasped.

"Ra, look at me, look me in the eye." Rania could no longer dodge, Rian's black eyes stabbed into her eyes.

"Listen, do you remember the last time we met? We went to the amusement park, we had fun, I was very happy that time. You gave me your first kiss and it was also my first time. To this day I still remember clearly the taste and smell. I love you more and more and I don't think that it was a farewell gift. Those are the only memories that I still hold on to so neatly."

"Rian, sorry ... I have no other choice. I have to go, everything has been prepared long ago." Rania slowly lowered her grip on her cheek.

"I see, But why did you leave without telling me?"

"Because of you."

"Me?"

"Remember what you said 'trying to date,' I'm not a tool to test your love, Rian."

Rian was surprised to squeeze his hair. "So? Oh my God, I never considered you a tool, I didn't think you would think so. So all because of that?"

"Hmmm..."

"Sorry, I'm sorry… why am I so stupid, I should have thought before I said it." His gaze was sad with regret.

"Never mind, it's all over," Rania replied casually and smiled, when she turned back to the screen fiddling with the TV remote,

Rian was silent for a moment. "Rania."

"Yes, why?"

"You still love me? Do you still have me in your heart?" he asked quietly.

“Hahaha… should I answer that?” He glanced at Rian for a moment.

"Yes of course."

"I don't know, that was years ago," he replied casually.

"Can we start over again? Can I get back into your heart? I'll make you love me back."

Rania then looked into the man's eyes. He frowned, seeing if there was any sincerity in Rian's words just now. That's right, those eyes don't lie. Rian still has feelings for him, still loves him. Seen from the look in the man's eyes that looked hurt. But actually Rania was afraid to open her heart again. It's already closed tightly and doesn't want to be filled again. Not because of Rian, but the past that made him reluctant to love again.

"Ra, say something."

“I… I'm not sure if it can?”

"I will make it possible. I believe in the bottom of your heart there is still me. I will try to open your heart again, Ra."

Rania let out a long breath. "Try it if you want?"

A sweet smile appeared on the man's lips. Even though he still has a long way to go, he will try his best. Without warning Rania's body was hugged very tightly. He kissed the top of his head, inhaling the distinctive aroma he missed so much.

"Thank you, Rania…thank you, honey."

"Rian ... my heart is starting to feel insecure. Sorry I can't return your love, I'm not ready. Honestly, the feeling is still there, whether the love is still strong or not. We'll see how it flows later.' He thought.

"Honey? I don't accept you as a lover."

"It's okay, I'll wait for you to accept it. Can I call you that?" Rian released his embrace, he pushed slowly until they were face to face.

"No, that sounds weird."

"Okay, but can you call me back like before? 'Ri' is just Ri, can you?"

"Um, sure." Ranis nodded slowly, Rian hugged back.

Love can't be explained how big, people might judge love as big as the world, the ocean, even the sky. But no one can measure how much love is with logic. When you have found true love, do not intend to find it again. Hug and hold him while you still have him.

"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up." – James Baldwin

That's how Rian feels now. He doesn't know how big his love for Rania is. It can't be measured, the more he thinks about it the stronger the longing and love in his heart becomes. Rania is his true love. When love has to choose between staying and leaving, Rian chooses to stay on the power of love he has. Her love now is a struggle, a battle.

“Hmmm… Ri, how much longer are you going to let go?”

"Wait a minute, I still want to hug you."

"It's been stuck for a long time, I'm not sure how long it will last, I could bite you."

"Ah, you." Rian pushed their bodies a little rough, the woman chuckled.

"Look, even you can't help it." Rania glanced down at Rian's stomach.

"Tsk… don't tease me, Ra… Hah." Rian covered it with his hand.

"Hahaha… I'm not teasing you, you're the one who's easily tempted."

"Ra...."

"You want to see how I flirt?" his gaze was sharp on Rian, his voice sounded sensual.

Rian's body was pushed roughly to the ground and under him. Rania felt from the forehead, nose to Rian's neck using her index finger, she kept repeating it. The man stiffened, almost out of breath, his face bright red.

"Ra, stop it." His voice choked.

"I said stop it! Rania, Arhhh…." Rian pushed Rania to sit back down.

"See, you can't even stand it like that." He chuckled.

"I'm a normal boy, Ra. It was hard for me to hold it in, tsk… you're ruining the mood!"

Rian got up when he felt his little brother stiffen up. He ran to the bathroom in his room. He was forced to let go there.

"Ri, need my help? Hahaha ...," shouted Rania making Rian annoyed.

"Since when did you become such a barbarian?" he shouted back before going inside.

Rania burst into laughter, her stomach hurting from laughing. He admits, Rian's body is very tempting. In the past, the man's body was not as full as it is now, maybe because of his hobby of exercising. Now Rian's body is filled with muscles that look sexy in his eyes. Any woman must be hard to hold if close. Moreover, the smell of his masculine body, Rania is difficult to refuse, fortunately he can resist.

*****