melancholy

She wrote down in her notebook when the others talked about accessories and getting new socks. She drew them with the stuff she envisioned and a girl stopped at the picture giggling.

"Those are neat, show me_ guys, come look!"

She snatched it and showed the class, they huddled at the pictures hoping for a sensitive note.

"Oh, she just drew us with stuff we'll never have"

"That's so rude, you're not having it"

She ripped it off and Ronnie paused when she wiggled it and squeezed it walking out of the class.

"Did you really just do that?"

"I like it and I'm keeping it, she doesn't have to know"

Ronnie snorted at the last page and heard them while they left, she didn't know but something felt so comfortable about crouching, she closed her book and dropped the pen. Staring at her shoes, she gasped when she heard a click and groaned, it sounded like a capybara snorkelling and the others laughed from the glass.

"Let me out!"

She pulled at the door and banged on the glass

"Oh, it talks."

"Stop, I want to go home!" She slapped the glass with them chuckling

"You want out smugface?"

She sniffed when they hurried away and sat back staring at the board, she sighed at the thought of being slammed at dodgeball, maybe that was why her nose was shifted to an odd angle.

It was not an off day to be singled out, she admit, this one was funny but who was going to take her home?

She was getting comfortable and freedom was at its worst when the teacher arrived

"Rowena! School's off-limits, what in Rao's name are you doing stooping in the class!?"

She was tongue-tied and Mrs Simmons didn't wait for a reply and dragged her to the entrance where her mother stood tapping her foot by the car. She looked pissed.

She sat quietly in the backseat of the car while they talked outside and the car sort of bounced when her mother stepped in.

She didn't meet her eyes and kept staring at the cushion where an old fire extinguisher they'll never use laid and the Hoola dancer on the top.

Lori adjusted the mirror "Bad day at school? And don't say no"

She didn't know what to say or even cared to say anything.

"Kids"

Her mom was so worried about her muteness that she called a child psychologist to speak with her.

Ronnie sat on a bench and Dr Jamie smiled, she didn't like his outfit.

"Do you know strangers are just friends you've never met?"

She shook her head

"Do you want to talk?"

She shook her head again and he smiled.

She leaned on the wall eavesdropping on them talking and her mom sounded worried.

"I'm a good mother, that's why I brought her here"

"Good to know but I don't have a diagnosis, there's nothing wrong with her"

"You have to say something, I'm really fed up"

"I'm not a horoscope, ma'am"

His tone was different when talked to her.

"She doesn't talk, she doesn't wear those dresses I bought_"

"Okay, how much of the truth do you want to know?"

"All of it"

"Nothing, it's natural and she'll grow out of it"

Ronnie scoffed at those words and looked up then stepped back at her coming out. She looked at Ronnie's face and took her by the neck leaving the office.

"Thank you, Dr Jamie"

"You're welcome, come back anytime, please do...when you have real problems."

***

"Make a wish, Ronnie" Pam urged on her birthday, she didn't understand why there has to be one but she closed her eyes and then blew the candles.

They chuckled when the lights didn't go off and she picked up a small portion of punch and splashed it over the candles, it went off and they clapped.

"What did you wish for?"

Ronnie blushed "Ah, I can't tell you"

"Go on, it's nothing new"

She sighed "A giant Teddy bear" and Jos, her brother chuckled.

Pam clapped her hands together "You know what, your father and I are going to Costco to get you one"

"What?" Jos and Randy said simultaneously and she nodded.

"We made cake, that's enough"

"It won't hurt"

"A giant Teddy bear? Why can't we get a regular-sized one, you know without the hearts in it and it doesn't look like it's about to swallow you up?"

Ronnie looked from one parent to the other ranting and she closed her fists.

"I don't want a teddy bear"

"It's okay, we'll get you one"

"No!" She ran upstairs and crouched on her bed, the place was light blue and the yellow light illuminated the archway.

It was all a misunderstanding, Pam would think she didn't want the toy then it meant she didn't want them to spend a lot of money but the truth was none of them could give her what she wished for.

~~~