MOON GODDESS HATE ME

"It can still come." she retorts quickly, the desperation clear as day in her voice, her eyes glistening with the same intensity. "I'm not twelve yet, I have time before I'm supposed to shift."

Katerina offers her a gentle smile that told Feli the truth they both knew. The truth that Feli would shift, but not with a wolf by her side to help her. She'd do it by myself.

"Felicia, if I'm to be honest with you. You need to be honest with yourself." She says causing Feli to bite her lip with a small nod.

"You're going to have a harder life than most werewolves Feli." Katerina says earnestly, the truth of the matter paining her more than it should. "You don't have a wolf to support you and you will have to go through the worst parts of your life alone."

"The Moon Goddess hates me." Feli explains, this being the only conclusion Feli could come to over the years. It was the only thing that could explain why someone who was supposed to watch out for her, always allowed her to suffer.

"I don't think she hates you." Katerina replies with an amused chuckle. The girl's innocence too amusing to ignore. The world was cruel and she'd learn in time that she wasn't the only one who suffered it's wrath. "I think she's a b*tch that's putting too much on a kid." Katerina offers instead, scolding herself mentally for cursing in front the kid. "But she must've known that because here I am."

"What do you mean?" Felicia questions with curiosity and confusion.

"I mean, I won't let you suffer Feli." Katerina says with a smile. And she meant it. She wouldn't let the child suffer like she and her father did, she wouldn't let her run a rough path when she could smoothen it out for her. She'd help her. "This cub will be your wolf."

"My wolf?" Felicia questions looking down at the small cub.

"It's not your average Jaguar." Kat explains with a look of glee. "I've linked her life to your own. She will always be with you, through thick and thin. You'll share thoughts only between you two and you'll have a bond like no other."

"Like an inner wolf." her says with a bit of the excitement pumping through her veins.

"But better." She replies happy to see she didn't freak out or get mad like she could've. "She'll be your protector."

"I don't want a protector." Feli says quickly, looking at the cub and then back to Katerina. "I want Caspar to be my friend."

"Is that his name?" Katerina questions, amused at her choice.

"Yeah. His name is Caspar." Feli confirms, running her hand against the small head.

Katerina smiles down at the girl. She'd seen the suffering she'd endured in her head and wanted to help. She'd looked into her mind and felt her pain. It may not be her fight, but she'd find the small girl that Feli had lost when the rogues took her and she'd bring them together again.

No matter how long it took, she wouldn't rest until Feli was with her mate.

"You may have been wired a bit different from the others Feli," Katerina says with a fond smile as she rises to her feet, bringing the barrier down with her. ", but I think you'll come out of this game called life better than them all."

-----------return to present-----------

"You're my friend Caspar. You're not my guardian angel, my protector or anything like that. You're my friend." I say firmly looking straight at him. "You're not supposed to take my punches for me and I don't want you to. I wouldn't want you to get hurt instead of me any day. So I'm happy I was the one who got lost and not you."

But y-

"But nothing." I cut him off. "You may not be an inner wolf but you're way better than one. You don't fight my battles for me, you fight them with me. And I couldn't ask for anyone better to have in my corner than you Caspar."

When his eyes meet mine, I can tell he's done blaming himself. His eyes quickly filling with love and affection. I knew he needed to hear those words and I'd always be here to tell them to him.

He jumps onto me, lapping my face with his tongue and I let him. Hugging him in response while he lets his tongue get reacquainted with my face.

"Okay, that's enough." I say pushing him off me before standing quickly. "Are you going to stop being a baby and come home now?"

Yeah. I can't sleep outside another night. I've been way too domesticated for that - He says returning to his usual carefree tone. I chuckle at this before stiffening with realisation.

"By the way, I found my mate."

What?!!!!!!

****

Let me get this right - Caspar says sitting next to me on my bed. The thing which everyone hates is actually your mate. He attacked you that night but he didn't mean to and he loves you now, so it's fine.

I never said he loved me - I say into our link, with a blush and racing heart at the prospect of J loving me.

Yeah he does. You guys are that mate couple that love each other at first sight like you're supposed to - Caspar says brushing me off. And you said he can't walk, talk or even understand you.

Yeah … - I reply playing with my fingers.

He's probably been out there his whole life - Caspar offers and I nod feverishly.

I think he was born a rogue and probably shifted for the first time when he met me - I explain quickly.

This sounds messy - Caspar sighs before jumping on the bed and lying down beside me. I laugh at this and nod my agreement. When was the last time you saw him?

Three days - I reply, my heart squeezing at the distance. I miss him so much Caspar.

I know - He replies sympathetically. That's why I think you should tell the parental.

No, I can't. They would go crazy

I said parental, as in uno. Tell Julian, he'll be cool with it. Aiden not so much - Caspar says making me consider this for a moment before shaking my head.

I can't ask him to keep something from his own mate. It would create problems when Aiden finds out, which he will eventually.

Damn, your life sucks Feli.

Thanks Caspar - I reply with annoyance.

Well there's only once thing you can do - Caspar says sitting up. Tell them both.

Caspar - I groan

It's the only option. You can't hide him forever. It's not fair to you or for him. He suffers when you're not with him, and for what? Because you're scared what daddy is going to say about it.

It's not that simple

It is! If Aiden doesn't like it, then f*ck him. This is your mate, your life. It's time you started living it for you and not for him.

"It's not that simple. I can't just say fuck you and leave. Not after everything they've done for me, everything he's done for me. He's the one who saved me." I say standing to my feet as my eyes glow brightly. "He took me in, he raised me, he loved me. I can't throw that all in his face by getting with the one thing he hates in this world. I can't …"

Silence falls between us and throughout the house. We were home alone so I knew no one heard us but the silence was still haunting.

"There's only one thing he hates." I say with a shaky breath. "He hates them all. Hates them for what they did to him, to his pack, to me. He accepted the fact that I wasn't his and that I was practically a rogue myself. … and yeah best case scenario, he accepts the fact that I am mated to one. But he won't accept the fact that I'm mated to this one and you know it."

Maybe he's gotten over it or even forgot - Caspar offers meekly but I shake my head weakly as I fall back onto the bed.

"No mate forgets anything involving their mate." I say before turning on my side to look out the window.

"If Aiden finds out my mate is the wolf that almost killed his mate, it won't matter that I'm his son." I say sadly as I look to the afternoon lit sky.

"He'll kill him."