Chapter one

Mrs Murray was the type of woman where when she lived in a really dodgy place she would notice nothing .I mean you could of killed somebody in front of her and she would still be oblivious . She looked like happiness if it was a person she was beaming . But inside she was in fact quite the opposite . She had silver spiral's hanging off her head . Her face features were perfectly placed with the lightest shade of blue filling her eyes they almost looked white and long lashes too . But covering them were massive thick glasses that could magnify a speck of dust perfectly they were that big .

Her name was Jane and she was sadly widowed for the longest time as her husband passed away over seas by drowning only three weeks of happy marriage .

Jane never knew or had a relationship with her mother because she died giving birth to her . When she was a child her father told her all sorts of stories about her how she always sang a song when she was cleaning , or how they first met on the local harbour . Her father was a sailer but he took his life not long after her fourth birthday leaving poor Jane to fend For herself .

When the orphanage finally founded her they gave he a warm welcome e to the place but at the age of 18 she said goodbye to her second family at the orphanage and went to build a new life for herself . The life she built was glamorous with two handsome adopted sons and a small apartment . Jane loved her life but over the years she became lonely to the point she was ignoring all the sings of depression she was slowly sinking into .without anybody to turn to or anybody to validate her feelings , sure her sons were there but she didn't want to make them worried about her heath so she kept out bottled up for years and finally it exploded in her face in the form of depressive episodes .

Both of her sons Alexander and Michel were now in high school and the top of their classes . Both of them tried to make her proud by bringing her trophies and certificates but nothing brought Jane out of this state there was nothing you could do to get the old Jane back now .

Jane tried her best to keep the boys happy by putting on a fake smile every time she talked to them or even look in their direction . No matter how hard Jane tried the boys could see right through the act like entry fibre of their mothers being was made of glass .

No matter how Much Jane tried , she couldn't stop herself from going upstairs and drowning herself in pools of tears reminding herself of all those years ago when she was a happy wife and mother of two . Whenever Michael and Alexander came home from school they could tell that she had been crying by the red and swollen eyes that were looking back at them empty . The boys never dared to mention it in fear of bringing them back .

It was just another day of tears falling onto the familiar picture of her husband out on one of his first trips out at sea when the phone rang downstairs in the kitchen

Feeling way to weak to even breathe she didn't even attempt to care about the urgency of the noise . she sat in she same spot in the wardrobe as always then she managed to convince herself to finally drag herself out of the space and make dinner for the boys and her .

Michel came slowly into the front door frame shakingly twisting the door handle , he shut left the door opened and slid down the wall dissociating he was vibrating then slowly wrapped his arms around himself as a single tear starting to form in his eye

"Michel ? " Jane questioned " is that you " no response . Slowly she walked round to the front door popping her head around the corner only to be met with a rolled up ball of sadness shaking constantly she had never seen her son in this state before but she knew it all to well and knew right then it they're was something seriously wrong with him either he was demented or traumatised she couldn't make her mind up of what one she wanted it to be but she knew it was end good .

"What happened to you ? " she said like she was walking on egg shells . No response . "Are you okay ? " she questioned again but knowing this process way to well she knew that all in his mind was racing , raging voices and noises and she also knew that he really needed to be comforted. Understanding his pain she sat beside him on the floor putting her Chin on his head holding him tightly she tried to help him but it was no use he was in deep inside the hole of emptiness way deeper than her .

They both lied there all night until the clock chimed midnight then Jane carried her emotionless child up the many steps to his room where he proceeded to do nothing but stare at the ceiling like it was the most interesting thing in the world

At this point in time mrs Murray knew that not only one but two of her sons were gone in their own way .

A few days went by and nothing changed,Michel still hadn't changed his clothes or showered , his room stank up the whole house and Jane wasn't exactly better than his state they both fed on each others sadness until I guess it Got all too much for Michel

I woke up and looked in my hand mirror I look like an explosion went off in my mind ...I looked like I lost my boy .when I got up and went through to the kitchen Michael was there sitting on a broken stool looking out the dirty kitchen window .