Unforgivable Regret

Two years ago, when Raka was still Rama, and when Redoom City was shocked by the emergence of a new pill called Apajuloy.

Many young people are addicted to these narcotics. They have fun and spend their pocket money just to buy narcotics. They refuse to come to their senses.

Likewise with this young woman, who was unemployed after completing her studies at Redoom University, Faculty of Teacher Training and Education.

The young woman lifted her crotch, letting the young man see that. She laughed and couldn't think properly as the easy man was engrossed in licking it. What she feels is pleasure, pleasure from her body and her mind.

"Ah..."

She sighed a few times, but the young man didn't let it end like that.

"You drink this!"

Once again, the young woman drank the narcotics.

"This is very delicious."

She was immersed in a pleasure that would not wake her up.

It just happened. She was just trying to take the pill. But, as time passed, the desire to take the pill grew. She couldn't stop herself from taking the pill again. That's why she became addicted to the pill.

From then on, whatever way she could get the pill, she would do it.

She sold her body, earned money from it, then bought the pills with the money she earned. It had been a month, and she felt that she was used to it.

No matter what other people say, no matter what her mother says, no matter what her college diploma, she still lives her life like that. She is a 24-year-old young woman, whom her mother longed for from childhood to be a successful woman, whom her mother was very proud of, and who was ensnared by the pill. She is Prillia Qaireen.

"Prillia, aren't you looking for a job?" Her mother asked, seeing Prillia in front of the computer with bloodshot eyes.

"I told you, didn't I? No one wants to take a job for me! They just want to find smart students, not bad students like me. You… how long do I have to say that, huh?"

She snapped, snapped at her mother who just wanted to ask that.

"Prillia, I..."

"Enough. You get out of my room now!"

"But..."

"I said enough! You heard that didn't you!?"

It was a bad morning for her mother. She just wanted to encourage her daughter. However, what she wanted to do not happen. She was kicked out by her daughter.

It was time for breakfast when her mother knocked on her door.

"Prillia, it's time for breakfast. I made your favorite food. Come down! We eat together."

Prillia ignored that. She downed the pill before finally fiddling with her computer.

"I'll be waiting downstairs. I hope you will have breakfast with us."

Her mother could only surrender to what she was going through.

Prillia has often refused to have breakfast with her family members. She even ignored what her mother said, even though her mother only wanted Prillia to tell her what had happened to Prillia.

As a mother, she hopes that her daughter will open up. That way, she could know the condition of her beloved daughter.

"Mom, she doesn't want breakfast anymore?"

Hearing that voice, the voice of her other 14-year-old daughter, Prillia's mother just shook her head and sighed, resigned because Prillia didn't want to have breakfast with them.

Being a widow for 10 years did not make it difficult for Qaireen to provide for the needs of her two daughters. She worked and opened a flower shop, to provide for her family. There is no word of giving up for her, not even wanting to make other people suffer because of her.

When Prillia made it into Redoom University, it was good news for her. Qaireen proudly shared that her daughter had made it into the best university in town to her neighbors. She is proud of her daughter.

Even though her daughter is repeatedly in trouble, she remains proud and accepts her daughter as she is. She is grateful to have a daughter like Prillia, who is beautiful and loving towards her mother and little sister.

However, it changed—changed quickly, it just happened. Prilla changed. She suddenly became uncontrollable, looking like a delinquent. It happened since Prillia was frustrated with the schools that didn't want to take her to work. She bought and took the pill, then became a bad woman.

Every night, Mrs. Qaireen could only see Prillia leaving the house with make-up on her face, quite sexy clothes, and an expensive bag. She had asked her daughter where she was going many times, but Prillia had ignored it. She can only say...

"Don't come home tonight! You haven't had dinner here in a long time. Ayska and I will be waiting for you here."

Even though her tone was quite soft, Prillia still chose to ignore it and left the house.

Mrs. Qaireen did not know that her daughter worked in the Whore's House. She never knew that the daughter she was proud of was a prostitute since 1 month ago. Prillia didn't tell her mother at all. Her mother only knew that Prillia had gone to hang out with her friends.

It would be a lie if her mother wasn't worried about her condition. It would be a lie if Mrs. Qaireen didn't care about her daughter. It was all a lie that Mrs. Qaireen wanted her daughter like that. It's all a lie.

CREEKK!

Mrs. Qaireen was surprised that Prillia's door was not locked.

"Oh, she didn't lock her room. Was she in a hurry just now?"

She goes inside. However, just one step after entering the room made her have to cover her nose.

"It stinks. It smells of smoke cigarettes."

Prillia's room stinks even though she is a woman. Mrs. Qaireen could smell cigarettes in the room, which was very strong in the room.

She began to examine every detail of her daughter's room feeling uncomfortable, only to find out that Prillia smoked in this room.

When she checked the things in the room and didn't forget to clean up the scattered trash, the sound from the computer that was still turned on sounded. That brought Mrs. Qaireen closer to the computer.

A new e-mail message Mrs. Qaireen could see on the monitor screen.

"What's this?"

She ventured to open the message. The message read, "You're taking too long, Prillia. What time is it? I've been booking you since noon, but why are you late? I wouldn't have given you the Apajuloy Pill if you hadn't come to this Whore's House. Come quickly, I can't wait to enjoy your body today!" and that took Mrs. Qaireen by surprise.

"Eh? Whore's House?"

Her eyes and lips trembled right in front of the monitor. Her mind was only focused on the words of the message. Her hand, which was holding the mouse, trembled. Her legs and whole body suddenly stiffened. Her mouth was completely speechless, there was only shock.

She was like that for 3 minutes.

Mrs. Qaireen learned about the pill from various news on television. Mrs. Qaireen also knew about the Whore's House. She didn't expect that her daughter, whom she had always been proud of, would be like that, take the Apajuloy Pill and become a prostitute in the Whore's House.

The words of the message said it all. It let Mrs. Qaireen know about what her daughter had been hiding all this time. It was a bad act, which her daughter did.

"Mom, what's wrong?"

Her second daughter, Ayska Qaireen, emerged from the door. Instantly, Mrs. Qaireen turned around and ran towards her daughter.

"Ayska..."

"What's wrong, Mom?"

Mrs. Qaireen wept. She couldn't contain her disappointment towards Prillia. She had raised Prillia to the best of her ability, but Prillia had returned her kindness in this way. It made her feel sick and disappointed.

Even so, she is still a mother and a woman. She still didn't want her beloved daughter to be like that. For that, she realized that she had to help her daughter and get out of that bad act.

"Ayska, you stay at home!"

"Mom, what's wrong?"

Ayska did not get an answer from her mother. Her mother just walked away from her and left the house with an umbrella.

Mrs. Qaireen left her house with an umbrella as a means of protecting her from the rain.

"Prillia..."

She ran, ran so fast, even made her leave her broken sandal behind. She kept running without thinking about how her feet hurt from stepping on everything on the ground; pebbles, broken glass, puddles... and more. That didn't stop her from going there. She kept running and crying, also thinking about her daughter.

Arriving there, she tossed and left her umbrella seeing the police cars parked there.

"Prillia..."

She entered the building, breaking through several police officers who saw her condition.

She climbed the stairs barefoot, it made the floor she walked on leaving a trail of blood. Even so, she didn't think about the pain on the soles of her feet. What she felt was to meet her daughter, and help her daughter to get out of her bad choice.

"My daughter..."

Mrs. Qaireen saw her daughter there, which the two policemen had taken. She also saw that Prillia's hands were handcuffed. Quickly, she immediately ran towards Prillia.

Arriving there, she pushed the two policemen, surprising Prillia with her arrival.

"Mom… why are you here?"

"My daughter..."

A warm hug from her was given to Prillia. Even so, Prillia was still surprised by her arrival.

After hugging her daughter, Mrs. Qaireen turned around and wept in front of the two policemen.

"My daughter is not wrong. She never did that. She is my daughter who graduated from the best university in town. She won't do that. She always made me proud. She graduated best in her elementary, middle, and high school. Do you know, this she is a smarter woman than you guys. Her uncles and aunts always praised her for her intelligence. One day, she will become a great teacher in this country. My daughter will be a teacher for her students. For that… for that… she can't possibly do that!"

She said that and kept crying, pleading with the two cops not to take her daughter, but the two cops showed evidence that Prillia did that. They showed the pill to Mrs. Qaireen.

"No, that's impossible!" Mrs. Qaireen dodged, did not accept that fact. "It's not her. You must have caught it wrong. My daughter will not take the pill. She is a woman who graduated from Redoom University. It is the best university in the city, filled with bright students. She would have no way of taking that pill."

Although Mrs. Qaireen dodged, Prillia still had to be taken to the police station. Whether it was true or not that Prillia consumed it, they would take Prillia to the police station for a test. And, Prillia knew that.

"I was wrong," Prillia said, making her mother turn to her and hold her cheek.

"No, Prillia, you can't be wrong. They are wrong. I know that you are unlikely to consume that item. You are a good woman, I know that."

"I am wrong. I have taken the pill and become a bad woman. I am wrong."

"…No, Prillia… you can't possibly…"

"Sir, please take me to the police station."

They quickly grabbed Prillia's hand, causing Mrs. Qaireen to rebel and not accept that her daughter was taken by them.

"No, she can't possibly eat that. Please… please forgive her!"

Mrs. Qaireen lay down and could only see her beloved daughter being carried away by the police.

"My daughter... Prillia..."

***

After the arrest incident at the Whore's House, after six months of Prillia's rehabilitation, Prillia got the news that her mother had died, died of illness.

"..."

That is bad news for her. She hasn't apologized to her mother yet. She has not had time to hug and make her mother happy. So far, she could only cause trouble for her mother. The bad news made her cry and cry and cry.

Prillia realized that her life was very bad. She realized that she had made her mother suffer all this time. She wanted to apologize for that. However, her mother is no longer with her. She's too late to apologize. She was too late to make her mother happy. She is too late to start a new life with her mother. She's all late.

"Mom… sorry… I'm so sorry. I..."

In the end, there was only regret in his heart.

***

A young man suddenly came to me after I was released from rehabilitation and it was stated that my body condition had improved. He asked me to work as a teacher at Wlynina Academy. The young man was very young than me, but he said that he was in charge of the school and needed a math teacher.

I accepted it because I needed a job to provide for myself and my little sister who happened to be studying here.

I got a job after the bad times of my life passed.

Seven hours before Raka met Chandra.

"Morning, Miss Prillia."

"Morning, Miss Prillia."

I am quite happy when students greet me. This is what I want in my life. This is how I should feel. This is what should happen. This is what I should have got before my mother died.

I finally realized what my mother did, which made me angry and embarrassed why my mother didn't have a bit of honor or dignity in front of those cops, who made me proud even though it was my fault. I realized after remembering the footprints on the floors of the building, and why my mother's clothes were so wet.

I finally know why she is like that. She was like that because there was something more precious than her. It's all because of me.

I didn't know at the time. When people become stronger, it's not from their pride, but when they throw away their pride. That's why my mother is very strong. It was all done to save me, who was in trouble.

She was willing to throw away everything, her pride, her honor, her attitude, her tears, just for me. That's why until now, even though I have turned into a good woman, I still regret what I did and what I did to her.

If time could turn back, I would like to hug my mother tightly and say, "I love you so much, Mama. Thank you for everything. Thank you for giving birth to me and raising me to where I am today. Sorry, I still can't make you happy. One day, I want to make you happy. I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, Mama! I... love u!"