By My Hands
My head spun, a merry-go-round of lost memories circling through my mangled thoughts. They all bombarded me at once, nearly knocking me right back down as I sat up. I cradled my head, the feeling of a thousand drilling nails overpowering me. Before I knew it, a gush of blood erupted from my throat, above my lips stained crimson as well. With the best I could, my shuffling feet managed to make it to the bathroom, Eren's key chain still hanging in my grasp. I collapsed over the faucet, more blood pouring into the sink. My arms could barely keep steady along the porcelain as I coughed my lungs out, the faint call of death echoed in my ears a piercing siren. But I wasn't going to fall here, not before hunting her down.
How… How did she do it? How did she…
have me…
slay Eren?!
I threw a punch into the mirror; the very image of my face disgusted me. Her part in his death was the only reasonable explanation; I could see her out of focus, in the brim of those memories. She manipulated me, subdued me with spells! My rage tossed to and fro, ran ruin within my bathroom. I couldn't endure the thought of me, thrusting a sword into my beloved! No, I didn't, I couldn't have killed him. Mikasa…
I burst out a scream that rattled my skeleton into a seizure. If she sought out to kill me, I'd have her life before she had mine! From my nightstand, I pulled out a pistol, loaded it with haste. Snatched my dagger, locked it in place. The blood from my hands, caked beneath my nails, only fueled my strength in hunting down that psychopathic bitch. She took my life; it was only justice. I saddled upon my horse, and the rain slammed heavily along the mudded path. My first stop was base, in which there was no sign of her. I searched its walls twofold before breaking into the records office. There Mikasa had no address, which was to be expected, but her two previous residences listed in her file may be where she was hiding out.
My first choice was her first home, which seemed to be an accurate guess. From an unmarked route along a grove, I pulled in my reins, discovering a soft light illuminating out the windows afar. I dismounted, tied down my horse, and then approached with my firearm ready. The dim smell of wax seeped from the cabin, as well as her dinner for the evening. Along the window, I crept my head up, my eyes confirming her seated along a fire roast. The foreground held half of the cabin, the other half a pile of debris from what I imagined was a titan's doing. Then, it was safe to say the door was unlocked…
Thud—my foot rammed the door open, the barrel of my gun pointed at her head as I approached with caution. She was unmoving, all silent. The fire snapping and pouring rain were all that resonated. I then asked myself why I hadn't pulled the trigger, the idea of death being too good for her brazing my mind. Torture, followed by a confession—now that suited me just fine.
Her back continued to face me, until I broke silence. "MIKASA!" I tightened my grip. "You must have known this was coming. Turn around!" And she did, along with a knife flying towards me. I dodged with a roll, getting back on my feet sluggishly. The booze struck me again, and the half-cabin fleetingly lofted sideways. I managed to lock her in my crosshairs again as she got up and slowly made her way to the burrowed knife in the wall, flashing me a coy grin. I stood there firm in place, a mix of rain and blood collard down my shirt, splashes of dirt along my pants—a personification of hell.
"I'm a bit surprised it had taken you this long. I figured I'd have my fun while waiting." She pulled out her knife, swinging it along her side.
"I should kill you right now!"
"Why? I didn't murder Eren, you did."
"You fucked with my head! I remember that night vividly. The only reason Elga was afraid of me was because you turned me into a fucking killer!"
"But you have to admit, it would take a truly weak willed individual to be controlled like that. Honestly, I think you really wanted Eren dead; you just needed a little push. He was getting in the way, wasn't he?"