Chapter 21

Ren

"Hey Ren."

Jason says as he slides onto one of the tall chairs seated at the island in this…incredibly small kitchen. I look at him while flipping pancakes in the frying pan. My eyes the opposite direction of the stove. I nod at him

"Hello, Jason. Did you sleep well?"

He lets out a large yawn and rubs his eyes "No, then." I smile, it's the least I can do for AJ's kid brother, I would like for him to believe I am more than someone who makes him breakfast every so often. He is, after all, quite intelligent for his age. AJ seems to believe he needs a mentor. Jason looks at my pancake flipping, flawless, obviously. Even without my eyes constantly focused on what I am doing. If I were as concentrated on my cooking as any 'true chef' It would grow rather dull. And I enjoy cooking. Jason regards my flipping carefully.

"How do you do that?"

His eyes are narrowed, head tilted to the right. A sign of curiosity. I look at my flipping, then back at him and shrug,

"It is just natural for me to do this. I am afraid they would not be very good if I were to actually focus on them."

He stays silent for a few moments, gaze still showing curiosity. I wonder if he is stuck like that.

"But. Why?"

I shrug, "Because, I would grow bored of it." His gaze is still quizzical.

"How?"

I sigh "You are asking quite few questions. Are you attempting to annoy me? It is working." I say to him as Millie pads out of her room in her princess PJ's, clutching her favorite teddy bear. Her eyes grow wide at the sight of me

"Ren!!" she runs towards me and I swiftly place the pancake and frying pan down on the stove as she jumps into my arms. I smile at her "Hello little one."

I place a kiss on her cheek and she begins giggling uncontrollably. Her crush on me is the farthest thing from secret. But what else is there to expect? She is seven years old, of course she has a crush on her eldest brother's best friend. I put her down, pat her on the head and return to my pancake flipping as I turn my attention to AJ, fresh out of the shower. Hair still wet and dripping, I feel a familiar, fluttery feeling in my gut. Why must he be so attractive? My life would be easier if he just stopped being so…handsome. AJ looks up to find my eyes lingering on him and he gives me a knowing smile. Blood rushes into my cheeks and I promptly look away from him, suddenly focusing all of my attention on the pancakes I am flipping. AJ's eyes soon turn towards Jason and Millie. Jason has fallen asleep once more. AJ shakes his head.

"I can't make him go to school like this."

I force myself to look away from the pancakes because I had begun to find the burning of them very interesting. I look over at AJ.

"Why not? I see nothing wrong with sending him to school, he is alive and well, is he not? He does not look to have any sort of rash or infection and he did not sound sick. I understand why you skip school, but you should not encourage your younger siblings to do the same."

AJ just gives me another easy going smile, it is the only tell that I have that proves he is in a lot of pain. He tends to act the exact opposite of his true feelings most of the time. Not that I understand why. I wish I did. AJ rolls his eyes

"It's not about that. He's not sick. He's exhausted. He won't be able to pay attention in class anyway. I don't need him getting bullied for falling asleep in school. I'll wake him up, you just feed him and then I'll let him go back to bed."

He nudges Jason awake and begins telling him how does not have to go to school. 'even if Ren tries to convince you otherwise.' He says. I finish the pancakes and dish them out on three different plates. One for Millie, one for Jason, and (even if I must force the food into his mouth) one for AJ. I grab the syrup, the butter, and the whip cream. Knowing Millie likes all three while Jason likes butter and syrup, and AJ only likes whip cream on his. And quite a bit of it. I dress each plate accordingly and when AJ sees me piling whip cream on the third plate, he immediately reacts

"I hope you're the one eating that, I'm not hungry."

He knows very well that I hate pancakes, especially after 6th grade when I took a bite of a pancake; before I realized how numbingly boring they are and then proceeded to puke all over the table. I vowed to never eat a pancake again, unless in extenuating circumstances. Although at the time I was only being dramatic, and I had tried pancakes a few more times after the incident, any time AJ and I would make eye contact with a pancake in the room we would burst out laughing.

"I do not care for your excuses. You are eating something this morning even if I have to feed you myself."

I push the plate over to him and place a fork into his hand. I sit back and watch him as he slowly, very slowly begins to cut off a small part of the pancake and puts it in his mouth.

"There, I ate something."

He shoves the plate back to me. Before I have a chance to respond, Millie talks through a mouthful of pancake and whip cream.

"That doesn't count!! You need to eat all of your pancakes."

I look away from Millie and back at AJ pointedly. I shove the plate towards him again.

"You heard her." I urge. When he still doesn't make a move, I pour whip cream in my mouth, along with syrup and repeat to AJ what Millie said. It comes out a grumbled, muffled mess, just like it did when she said it and roaring laughter comes from everyone eating the pancakes I made for them, everyone except AJ. Though I did get a humored smile from him, his eyes betray the attitude he is trying to portray. I swallow the mess of sweetness in my mouth and rinse out the disgusting flavor with Orange juice. I walk around to his side at the kitchen island they are all seated at and crouch down. I take the fork from him and dig into the pancake. I take a bite, just for him. And he bursts out laughing, and not long after, so do I. He wipes tears from his eyes as our laughter slows. I gaze at him, silently urging him to eat and reluctantly, he succumbs.

"Alright, fine."

He pulls the fork out of my hand and begins eating. I stand up and clear Jason's plate from in front of him before his sleeping form faceplants into the syrupy mess. AJ, now entirely engrossed in his pancakes, looks and sees Jason. He moves to get up but my eyes tell him firmly, to stay where he is at. I move around to Jason's seat and pick him up gingerly. Carefully carrying him back into his room. I place him on his bed and pull the covers up around him. I have always liked children, they are very complicatedly simplistic. Wanting and needing the only things that truly matter: food, water, shelter, education, and love. Simple, yet, also very complicated. Those who are older than the state of 'children' I am referring to tend to be more swayed by materialistic things. Cars, houses, computers, Knick knacks, headphones, medications, and drugs. And in doing so, they hold no value of simple things, making children quite an oddity in the modern world. I walk back into the kitchen to find AJ giving himself another serving of pancakes as Millie whips about getting ready for school. I clear her plate and look at AJ, piling whip cream onto his pancakes. A gesture that has grown so familiar, yet, not boring at all.

"I find it hard to believe you were not hungry."

I look at AJ swallowing his pancakes whole. He looks up at me and shrugs, attention immediately back onto his pancakes

"When was the last time you ate?"

he freezes, another shrug. He does not make eye contact this time before resuming his eating. It has most likely been since the last time I had to force him to eat, approximately a week ago. It is not quite a disorder, but his appetite is only known to him when he is eating. Otherwise he does not care to make the effort of making food for himself. Always only for his siblings. I decide not to press him on his eating habits. And instead, begin doing the dishes.

"About last night…." AJ says abruptly. "Which part of last night are you referring to AJ? There were many events that took place last night. We had a…session, last night, you also became very engrossed in a cat hybrid with no explanation that I am aware of, and I walked into your room right before you were about to take a handful of pills, consequently, bringing your tragic demise to the present. So which part are you referring to?"

He stays silent for a moment "The first part. And the last part. I don't want to talk about her."

I turn to face him and cross my arms over my chest

"What is there to talk about?"

I am truly quizzical about this issue, I have nothing to say following those two moments, about Amora however….

"What would you do if I said I love you?" AJ asks.