CHAPTER 28(2)

Begging his father - 2.

Dad didn’t like how I answered him so he punched my face. See, that was the only thing that he’s good at. To hurt anyone mercifully. He just loves to hurt someone and he didn’t even care if it’s his family or not. Oh yeah, how can I even forget about it? He cheated on my mom and my mom drove crazy because of it and she couldn’t take all the stress because once she experience domestic violence from him. Mom was protecting us and she always seemed to be scared of him. The only reason why I said yes to working as an Intern Accountant is that I want to leave him. I don’t even care about him or even accept him as my father. He was always hurting my mother...not just emotionally..but physically as well.

I’m not going to turn like him. I won’t be a tool of scum like him. I couldn’t take that my father has to be someone like Ching Nianzu Wei. Because if it wasn’t because of him my mom wouldn't have to drive herself crazy. He’s too selfish. I wiped my blood on my lips and I glared at him. He didn’t change at all. And he couldn’t be changed. He loves to beat the hell out of me and he will keep on doing it.

“Go on. Hurt me. Just like what you did to my mom, just like how she drive crazy because of your cheating and your domestic violence. I know everything dad! I saw you hurt her. Every single day....she only told me not to say anything because she thought that you were going to change! But from what I can see, you can never change! If not only because of us, she could have left you, bastard! Just how can you be so cruel?” I felt the tears fall from my eyes and I cried. I don’t care what he thinks of me anymore but I need to tell him everything about what I feel now. And I’ll do everything to cut off the engagement that I had with Margaux.

I was just a young kid once then and this kind of reality slap me. Even if the maids were taking care of me and making sure that I wouldn’t know about it but still I found out what he did to my mom. No matter how Butler Feng and my siblings protect me and covered my ears from the shoutings I still managed to know everything. I know everything. And I was too stupid that I acted like it was nothing. My mom was hurt when she was cheated on by my dad but she choose to stay no matter how hurt she was. Even when dad started hitting her, I know all of that. I hate it all. I hate my father so much. He even blamed my mom when she tried to escape.

“Am I nothing but a toy for you? Aren’t you tired of all of this?” I asked him.

“Are you done with this drama? I still have work,” He glared at me.

I gripped my fist and I glared at him. He really doesn’t really care about me..so why did I even waste my time and go home? Why can’t he listen to me, even once! This is the only time that I’d beg for him. Because of the girl I love. And he thinks that all of this was nothing but a drama for him? Did I exist in this world to get betrayed..and used by anyone? I don’t want to live like this! I have my own decisions. And he isn’t the one who should choose for me.

“Is work even more important than your son!? Just once, look at me!I am hurting as well dad. Why can’t you even realize it? Stop using me like I’m some toy that was convenient for you! I’m so tired of all of this!” I shouted at him.

“That woman, you can’t have her. Look how you change. It’s not me who changes, it’s you.” He hissed at me.

What nonsense is he even talking about? How can it be Satsuki’s fault? Doesn’t he care about how I even feel? Is it that easy for him to shut me off? I can’t believe how heartless he can be when it comes to his son. I was always scared to talk to him but this is the time for me to step up. It’s time for him to realize that I am only a human. I can’t live into his expectations no matter how I pushed myself to it! I already obeyed his plans for me. I decided to accept my fate as the heir of our company. Isn’t that enough? Why should I force myself to date someone that I don’t even like?

“I can’t marry Margaux. And I will never do that!” I shouted at him

“Stop acting like a brat..” He hissed at me, “If you keep pushing me, I will forget that you’re even my son. You ungrateful brat, you should be thankful that I gave life to trash like you. That you’re able to feed. Because if it wasn’t because of me, would you even live?” He said to me and I laughed at him and I cried even more sadly. This is too much for me to bear. This is just too much, did he not care about what I say to him anymore? If it’s like this then it would be better for me to stop being his son then. He is too shallow.

I don’t care if he gets mad at me anymore. But I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to be controlled by him. Once I got serious, he knew that I will get what I want. And that’s how I am. Plus, he barely even knows me. And how I live without him. It was crazy. It feels like I was a bird who sought my freedom. I get into parties most of the time, I get drunk a lot together with my friends and have any woman that I wanted. And right now, I’m willing to change for a single woman. And I wanted him to understand that. That once in my life, I finally found someone who will put me on the right path and someone that I wanted to be with once I become a CPA Accountant. She’s part of my dreams now.

I just wanted him to understand it. Why can’t he get it? It’s too hard to be a good son to him. If only he knew what I went through. Because of the evil deeds that he did a lot of people got hurt. Even his wife and his children were hurt because of him. And he still chooses to be blind to all of those things? I was always waiting for the time that he will change. But I think that’s impossible for now. Can’t he even look at me as his son? Am I just nothing but a tool for him?

I couldn’t stop my tears and I cried and then I gripped my fist. I don’t know if I can get a good answer but still, I wanted to try for the last time.

“Dad,” I tried calling him and I cried and I looked at him, “I waited...for you to change. But looks like it was impossible now. So if this will make you happy then forget me as your son. Or even I existed. But I’m sorry but I’m going against you if you push Margaux to become my wife. I will never marry her.” I said seriously and I turned my back against him. I won’t marry Margaux, and if I have to rebel against him then so be it. I will never back down when it comes to the girl that I love.