My body

so I talked about how my ADHD kind of fucked with my mind a bit since I was young, but we haven't talked about my body. So I want to talk about the numerous ways I've fucked my body up permanetly and non permanetly.

So first off I'm a big boi. As I've said once or twice I'm 6'2, or 1.885 meters, and with that came a need to eat alot. But I hit my growth spurt late, even now im still growing an inch every couple months. That was because of my horrible eating habits as a child.

I wouldn't eat breakfast, poke at lunch a bit, and have 3 - 4 servings of dinner. And that made me fucked up, didn't give me enough of any vitamin or any protein. Im suprised im still alive. But then whe I started eating more, it turned my body the opposite, I went from being skinny and short, to chonky and tall.

And honestly It isn't fun to go from 100lbs too 180lbs in one year, kinda messes with your psyche a bit. Didn't help I also played football at the time, which made it an even bigger incentive too eat food and fatten myself like a pig on the chopping block.

I Hated foot ball.

Anyways that brings me too my first major non permanent injury. So my family moved house when I was 5, going from a long house to a 2 story thick boy. So the heating bills went up naturally as well. So my parents decided to use the 2 acers of forest and our fireplace, so we started chopping wood and making fires.

That's a reason I'm now a big buff chunk man right now, but along with that came this wooden basket we used to carry wood. And as a child your brain finds the simplest things entertaining, clapping too woden blocks and making comic book sound effects was entertaining, so I decided to jump back and forth across the basket. It was going fine untill the 5th time when i failed to jump far enough and landed on the basket.

It's fine though, it's only wood. But the thing is, it wasn't. The bitch was metal, it was just covered by wood, so I landed balls first on to the metal handle of the basket. My shit was purple for 2 weeks.

Next major incident, breaking my pinky. Now it might not sound bad at first, but it was and is really bad. So as I used to play football, I obviously went to practice, well 1 week before we start football we do something called "Hell week" It was a week of conditioning, every day, 2 times a day. So during the 4th day we were practicing different things and switching stations every 15 minutes. I was at the catching drill, funny since I weigh 220 pounds and can't run faster than a turtle but sure just put me there.

And the guy throwing it threw it really hard, and I panicked, doing an improper catch hurting my hand. So I had to stay out of practice, I thought it was a stubbed pinky and I was fine...

Untill the 30 minute mark hit. It was fucking tourture, the amount of pain I was in was unreal, dosent help I was wearing 40+ pounds of equipment and it was the middle of fucking july. And mind you practices were 2 hours long back then. We started an hour ago, so I had to deal with this scream inducing pain for an hour before I could get any ice.

When I told my mom about it we went to the hospital to get an x-ray. And good fucking lord.

I broke my pinky two times in 2 different places, chipped off a piece of the bone, and fractured it. All at the same time, no wonder it was so painful.

So now lets say I put my hands together, my pinky is out place. So here do this. Stick 1 hand out in front of you. Now separate your pinky untill the skin inbetween the 2 fingers starts to sctrech a little. Now thats what the stationary position of my pinky looks like. And another thing, now my pinky bone isnt fully functional.

here are 2 examples. Take the finger next to your pinky, and touch it too your thumb. Now try to touch the right side of your palm, you can do it with a bit of struggle right, I cant, my pinky cannot bend enough to do that.

Example 2. Grab your pinky, and just move it around like a joystick, you can feel the bones grinding and it feels like its snapping into place. My pinky isnt like that, instead it feels like a broken joystick, or like a nintendo joystick after a round of mario party 64. Its like 1 pinky is on grid snap mode and the other isnt.

I also kinda cant feel anything from the base to the first knuckle. So I can kinda slap anyhitng with my pinky and be fine, it just feels kinds numb, like its fallen asleep.

And the last major fuck up I have done to my body. My back.

So I love the sport of Golf, it's a very fun thing too do, either at a driving range like topgolf or at an actual course I love playing golf. But I had a bad incident once while playin a 18 hole golf course.

So I was hitting the ball, hole was maybe 300 yards away, so I tried to full nelson the fucking thing. Halfway through I realised "Oh shit, I'm going to hit it with the bottom of my club and send it flying the wrong way" So I tried to stop the swing. But the momentum force forced my arms to keep going foward.

So as my arms moved to the left, my back muscels moved to the right. The consequence was me pulling my rib out of socket.

Now thats not that bad, just go to a chiropractor, get it popped back in, go to a chiropractor bi-yearly to make sure its fine for a year and boom. solved. But no, that did not happen, my parents, me and my brother thought I simply pulled a muscle in my back.

And we didnt go to a doctor, for half a year, and 3 months out of the 6 I played football. Resulting in the rib getting then misplaced and fucking up my spinal cord. Leading to me having severe back pain whever anything physical involved using my back muscels alot.

So moving heavy things, hiking, golf, football, and even WALKING was painful. So after getting it checked out I am doing much better.

But when now its still there. I actually just went out for my brothers birthday to a driving range calle "TopGolf" Pretty fun place. And now laying in bed, my back is sore, and it feels like im 50.

And now to the next one, something minor bur pretty bad. It's something called Achilis Tendinitis. Basically everytime i stretch or flex my toes I feel a pain in my heel.

Basically because of how I sleep I now have a minor cramp every time I stretch my toes. Now I'm going to have to wear a foot brace whenever I go to sleep.

Damn. Both fucked up mind and body. lets go gang gang.

I wanna die after that.

ps. Why are there so many goddamn author notfications. Is this how the big boys feel? I only have 28k on this journal of mine and yet I get like 20 author notifications a day. Mostly because of you Gojo. Thanks for the power stones btw.

Also yes this is a journal basically. It's just me writing about something that comes up on my mind thats intresting enough.

Void_Eagle out..