Chapter 4

UNEDITED-

Marisol POV-

I can't believe I let things get like this.. I got so drunk I didn't even think about how I would get home. Now I'm sitting on someone's garden wall, freezing in a short dress clutching nothing but a pair of heels and my phone, waiting for Alex to show up. A few minutes past and she finally pulled up to the curb, winding down the passenger window to her black Ford Focus..

"Come on" She gestured to the empty seat beside her.. I couldn't look her in the eyes as I entered the car. I put the seatbelt on and just stared at the dashboard. "What happened?"..She drove slowly through the streets.

"I lost control" I said simply.. "I did everything I could but.." The tears I'd been holding in finally fell. I held my hands to my face as some of my pain silently poured out.

"Hey don't cry.. it's not your fault"..She tried reassuring me without taking her eyes off the road.

"You don't get it.." I wiped my eyes and tried my best to regain my composure.. "Thank you for picking me up.. I really don't know what I would have done otherwise" ...

"Sol-" She said my name causing me to look at her.. "..You don't need to thank me, I gave you my number for a reason. What were you doing here anyway?"..She asked.

"I went to a party, and I got wayy to drunk.." I sighed..

"Was it one of Luciana Days parties?" She asked even though it sounded like she knew the answer already.. "I'm surprised they let you in.."

"Day?... as in Willow Day?" I asked clearly mortified.

"Yeah Luciana is Willows older sister.."

"Oh fuck.." I squeezed my eyes closed in horror.. Look what I've done now.

"What did you do?" Alex asked in a suspicious tone, glancing over to me and back to the road.. "You spent the night.. with Luciana.. oh my God Marisol are you crazy?"..

"Look, I only came here to forget my problems.. how could I know I'd be creating more of them?"..

"So you slept together?"

"No.. I mean we slept in the same bed but-"

"You slept in the same bed but you didn't have sex? I find that hard to believe, does she know how old you are?.."

"You can think whatever you want. I know what happened.. sure I made a few mistakes but I never fucked anyone, and I don't think she cared much about my age since she never asked.." I sound defensive.. She visibly tensed at my choice of words..

"Oh God Sol" She cringed but laughed straight away. If she tells anyone about me and Luciana I'm screwed. "She's in her twenties you know?"

"Good to know.." I really don't care.. age is but a number.. as long as you're old enough to legally give consent that is.

After a few more minutes of driving we finally got to my house.."Do you want me to come inside?" she offered kindly. I don't want to be alone, but the more time I spend with her the more confused I get.

"I don't think that's a good idea.. thank you for picking me up. And I'm sorry about everything after.." ..

"Stop saying sorry" she smiled reassuringly.. "and please don't tell anyone I have a car"..

"I'm not even going to ask.." I spoke, undoing my seatbelt. "I guess we all have secrets. I won't say anything".. I opened the car door.. "Thanks again" I smiled.

"Anytime" She smiled back.. I closed the door and she drove off. All of a sudden I remember all the reasons why she was my friend in the first place. She made one mistake and I used it to put a wedge between us.

Back to the silent house. I hadn't even been able to sleep in my room.. My pillow and quilt cover were both waiting for me on the couch when I got in.. I got under the covers and barely moved for two days. My birthday was spent watching almost every Harry Potter movie. My uncle called me and I got to talk to my brothers.. that made me happy until we ended the call and I was back to thinking about how they aren't here. They seem okay though at least, getting spoiled by uncle Allan.

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Monday came around and I couldn't even pull myself off the couch for school.. I just laid there. Most of the time I wasn't even watching the TV, I was just staring into space.. Marcus should have just left us alone.. why did he wait four years to say anything.. he let me put everything I had into this, only to rip it away. He hasn't been back since so I can't even yell at him. I'm just glad my brothers are with my uncle and not with a stranger, or worse.. separated.

Pretty soon Monday turned to Friday.. I managed to get up and have a shower.. with my hair still damp I motivated myself to clean the mess I'd made in the kitchen throughout the week.. All I could be bothered to dress myself in were a pair of pajama shorts and a huge baggy white t-shirt.. I finished the kitchen and was about to lay back down when the doorbell scared me.

I went to answer it and was surprised to see my uncle.. "I just came to drop something off.. it's a birthday gift.. Sorry that it's a little late" He smiled handing me a rather large gift bag...

"Thank you" I smiled back showing my gratitude.

"Have you seen him?" He asked..

"No" I replied simply.

We had a quick conversation about how the boys are coping before he left in a rush.

I sat down on the sofa with the gift bag.. Inside was a stuffed brown bear holding a heart from Auggie. A puzzle book from Forrest and what's this? An envelope addressed to 'Sunshine'.. Only my mother called me this.. I began to tear up as I carefully opened the envelope. I pulled the letter out and opened it, onto my lap fell a cheque and a picture of me and my mother when I was 5 years old.. I gasped when I turned the cheque over.. $800,000.. this can't be right. I picked up the letter and sure enough it was..

My mother had wealthy parents, when they died before I was born she inherited properties, a few shops and a lot of cash. She sold the properties and planned to split her inheritance between us on our 18th birthdays. Even though she's not here she still managed to do it, I could have done with it a little earlier though.. Another knock at the door pulled me away from the emotional moment that had held me captivated for over an hour.. I'd just been staring at the picture unable to stop my tears.. I wiped them away and answered the door.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked worriedly as soon as she saw my puffy eyes..

"Nothing I've just.. got a lot going on.." ... "Did you need something?" I asked sincerely..

"No I just came to check on you.. you haven't been at school and I was worried.."

"I'm okay.. I'll be there Monday" I offered a smile..

"Okay.. see you Monday then" She smiled back.

"See you Monday" I waved like an idiot before she turned and got back into her car. She could have called.. I don't know why she drove all the way here.

A few minutes later I started making phonecalls to my workplaces and quit both my jobs.. you don't know how long I've been wanting to do that.. Sam might be a little sad but I'm sure she will understand.

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Monday rolled around and as I was about to open the front door to leave for school, someone knocked on it..

"Alex what are you doing here?"..

"Driving you to school" She smiled simply.. I won't say no.. it's cold.

"Thank you" I couldn't help but smile back at how kind she was being. I missed how easy things were with us.. We never had to work at our friendship, we just loved each others company.

The car journey was peaceful, she asked how I spent my birthday.. I lied and told her I went out for a meal with my 'family'.. I'm glad she left it alone. We made our way a couple of blocks from school, she parked on a random street five minutes away, so that no one would know she has a car.. "Why don't you just tell them?" I asked as I stepped out of the car.

"If they knew, I would have to drive them everywhere" She rolled her eyes.. getting her stuff out of the vehicle.

"Tell them no?.."

"I can't.." She said like she was stuck. She locked the car and began walking to school, I walked beside her.

"You don't have to do anything they tell you too.. I know this must be a strange concept but you know you can make your own choices right?"..

"I don't have enough reasons to not be friends with them.." She sighed, ignoring my snarky comment.

"They are horrible people.. is that reason not enough?" I shook my head.. She really can do better.. I just feel like she lacks courage.

"I guess not" She sighed.. We are nearing the gates and I can tell she didn't think this through. What will she say when she walks in side by side with me?.. Her awkward glances to me and back to the school were pissing me off. I stopped walking letting her go ahead without saying anything.. She looked back to me with a sad look on her face.. I just looked away as she turned and continued on through the gates.

2 minutes passed before I walked in. Natasha and her posse were waiting by the doors, now Alex was there too. I didn't hear Roberto's motorbike yet so that's probably why they are standing outside. They noticed me coming and all began staring at me, aside from Alex who just looked miserable as ever. I don't see why they can't just leave me alone.. all I ever did was stopped following them around. I guess I can understand why Alex is too scared to leave them but it's not even that bad.. like little chihuahuas that can only nip at your ankle.

I had Natasha in some of my lessons, surprisingly she kept to herself. I received the death stare over and over, but the sly comments were seemingly no where to be found, I wonder if she has been abducted and replaced with a robot. I had my lunch. Rain didn't come to sit with me today.. I'm guessing she's at some music club or something. I just sat by myself, picking around my curly fries for a few minutes.. I left more than half in the tray, I passed a kid that I knew didn't really have much money.. we speak occasionally, for some reason he felt he could confide in me from time to time.. anyway I passed his table and slyly put them onto it so only he saw. He smiled to me as thanks before tucking in..

School wasn't as bad as I was expecting.. before I knew it the bell was ringing to announce the end of the day. I walked out of the doors of the building with my head down as not to look at anyone or start a conversation.

"Marisol!" Here to ruin something else I guess. My father called my name again. I kept my head down and continued walking out of the gates, the worst thing right now would be to cause a scene and give Natasha more ammunition. "Marisol please.." .. He begged, following me out of the gate, stumbling and grabbed my arm with a vice like grip, almost making me fall over.. Instead of saying anything I instinctively turned and socked him in the nose as hard as I could.. Straight away his hand released from my arm and he went tumbling backwards, holding his now bleeding nose as he sat on the floor, looking up with wide eyes. If only I knew that I could have just done that before..

"You don't get to speak to me" I spoke confidently while rubbing my swollen knuckles.

"I had to do it.. you have to be able to live your own life, I can see that now".. He's so fucking drunk he can barely get off his arse.

"No Marcus you destroyed my life.. all you do is break things!"

He looked up at me again, trying to stop the blood from covering more of his clothing.. I'm honestly shocked he didn't hit me back. Maybe something did change in him. Before I could think about it someone was at my side, whisking me away from the scene with their arm linked through mine.. I looked up to see Alex.. glancing around it was obvious she's not the only one that had been watching.

"You're just everywhere aren't you.." I sighed whilst letting her guide me through the crowd by my arm.

"Do you have somewhere else you can stay?" Alex asked when we were away from all the onlookers.

"No I'm alright.. do you think everyone saw?" There's not much anyone can do now, since I'm 18 and the boys aren't living with us anymore. I mean they can press charges for assault but since I hit him off of school grounds I think it will be okay.

"Everyone will find out.. it's how these things work. Their lives are boring.. yours is not..".. I just nodded slightly in agreement. "Can I please drop you off somewhere other than your house?" she asked..

"You don't sound like someone who doesn't want to drive people around.." ..I joked.

"You don't count.." ..she smiled shaking her head.

"Actually if you wouldn't mind I could use a lift to the bank" I raised my eyebrows at the idea. The sooner I cash this check the sooner I can leave that house permanently. It used to be home, but since my mother died it seems every good memory has been matched by an equally devastating one.

"No problem.." She smiled..

"Alexa!.. where are you going?" Natasha called.. Alex froze turning slowly to see Natasha about to get into her mother's car on the other side of the road.

"I'm just helping Marisol with something.." She called back.. I'm honestly surprised. I thought she would make up some excuse as to why she is standing next to me, holding onto my arm. I didn't even realise she still was until now.

I'm guessing Natasha didn't want to start anything infront of her mother. "Okay then" She said, scowling as she got into the car and drove away.

"Do you know why she's obsessed with me?" I asked frustratedly. It would be nice to know there is a real reason. Alex laughed for a few seconds..

"I guess she is a little obsessed.. maybe your just the one that got away?.."

"Maybe.." I replied whilst deep in thought.

We made our way to her car and sped off to the bank with little conversation. Still it was nice.

"Do you want me to wait for you?" She asked..

"No it's okay.. I'll see you tomorrow. Thank you for helping me.. again.." I added awkwardly.

"What are friends for?" She smiled.. 'friends' .. I guess with how much she's been there for me lately I can't exactly say she isn't right to her face. I just nodded, smiled, and closed the car door.

----

It still doesn't feel real. I went outside after cashing my cheque and stuck my card into the machine.. Sure enough my balance read $800,000. I withdrew a few hundred and called the cab.

My heart dropped when I found the lights on at home. I almost bailed and went to a motel but I wouldn't have any clean clothes and it's too late to go shopping. I walked through the door and my father was stood there waiting for me.. I was about to go straight upstairs but he stopped me by standing in my way.

"Marisol stop.." He sighed as I went to walk past him the other side..

"Just move please, I don't want to fight with you I just want you to leave me alone.." I spoke tiredly..

"I need you to hear me out.. I couldn't handle being a father.. after your mother left I didn't even want to wake up".. he's pathetic.. I wish he'd stop. He still can't even say that she's dead.

"You think I did?.. You're not even the one that takes care of them.. I became a mother, a father, teacher. I was a child and 'I' was what they were left with.. all because the wrong parent died.." I sighed while I could still breathe. It was quickly cut off in my throat as he grabbed my neck hard with both hands and slammed my head against the wall. A picture frame that was hung on the wall next to me dropped on the floor smashing to bits. His face was twisted with rage.. a minute passed before I finally saw a thought flicker behind his eyes and he let go, I dropped to the floor getting shards of glass stuck into my hands as I choked and gasped for air. Honestly I nearly passed out. I really did like things better when he left us alone.

"Oh my-.. I didn't mean-" he began stuttering.

"If you had any compassion left for me.. you'd stay out of my life" I croaked with a hoarse voice, still catching my breath as I made my way to my feet. I walked straight past him and up the stairs. I sat on my bed making a short attempt to get the larger pieces of glass out from my hands. A couple of minutes went by before I heard the front door go. At least he is gone now.. I went back downstairs and resumed my natural state.. being a sloth on the couch.. I wrapped my hands in a towel and went to sleep.

Night turned to day and before I knew it I was about to get dressed for school again. And I think I'm going to be late.. Luckily my hands aren't bleeding anymore, I'm trying hard to externalise the pain.

At the time I should be leaving the house the door knocked. There is only one person it could be..

"Is this our daily routine now?" I smirked..

Alexa smiled for a second but quickly pouted.. "Sol what happened?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"..

"The bruises on your neck.. did he hurt you?" She tried to sound calm but I could hear the worry in her voice.

"No it doesn't hurt.." shit now I need to cover this bruise up.. "I'm going to be late so you may as well go without me"..Now I was debating whether I should even go to school.

"It's alright I can wait for you.." She smiled reassuringly.. I didn't have to heart to tell her no. I invited her in and she went straight to a stool in the kitchen. A few minutes later I reappeared now fully dressed, my long black hair pulled up into a messy bun. Alex watched me go past the kitchen to the coat rack and grab a grey scarf.. she followed me down the hallway. "Really?.. your going to wear that all day?" She asked concerned.

"What else am I supposed to do?.. you saw what happened last time.."..

"But then they are going to ask you why your wearing a scarf.."

"I will say I'm cold?" I replied like it was obvious.

"And what if the teacher asks you to take it off?"..

"I will tell them I can't, because I'm cold.."..

"No that's never going to work.." Alex shook her head "Come here" She grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me back to the kitchen.. "-sit down" Alex ordered. She began rooting through her handbag until she found what she was looking for.. finally looking up to me with her bright blue eyes, a stick of concealer in hand. I just did as she said. I was frozen the whole time she was touching me.. Five minutes later, after she'd applied a few other substances, she sat back on her stool. "See.. much better" she grinned.

Alex watched as I walked to the hallway mirror to see for myself. "Where were you when I had a black eye?" I chuckled lightly..

"I could have helped you with that too if you'd let me" She replied. "What happened anyway?"..

"Which time?"

"How many times has it happened?" I glanced over and back to the mirror but didn't reply. Alex walked to stand behind me in the mirror.. "This time?" She asked..

"I said something I knew would hurt him.. I shouldn't have.." Even though it felt amazing..

"And before?"..

"Same thing." I nodded my head.. I just keep running in circles no wonder I'm going a little crazy. "But don't worry it won't happen again" As soon as I move out of here I won't ever have to see his face. "Anyway.. thank you for this" I pointed to my neck where the marks were barely visible, "-and everything else" I offered a smile. She took my hand to turn me around, I hissed at her touching the sore wounds. I watched her hands take mine carefully and turn them upward. Revealing serval fairly deep cuts on each hand, the left one was worse.

"How did this happen?" She asked in a defeated tone.

"A picture broke, and I fell in it" I replied simply. I've been falling a lot lately.

"Is this why you pushed us away?" She asked sounding hurt as she gently pulled a few shards out of my skin. I must not have done a very good job of it.

"I guess it is part of the reason.." What is the point in denying it now?. "Anyway we should be going.." I smiled again, successfully securing all my feelings into a little box far out of reach in my mind.

We drove to the same street as before and got out of the car. The conversation had somehow drifted to Forrest and August.. not seeing them in almost two weeks was breaking my heart.. even if I hid it well.

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NOTES-

So much drama, I don't really know how I feel about this. I just write whatever comes to me.. so here it is, I hope you enjoyed. Either way leave a comment and let me know, I'd appreciate it.