CHAPTER FIVE: WHO ARE YOU?

Max’s P.O.V

‘Creek creek creek’ alarm buzzer went off.

“Mmhhh, I’m up” I said to no one but myself.

I woke up feeling lazy, tired, like I had been running thousand miles. I tried sitting up on my bed with my legs on the floor or better yet standing but it was no use. I just ended up sitting at the edge of my bed face palming myself facing down trying to shake the feeling of tiresomeness, but it wasn’t going away.

“Agh” I cried softly as I positioned myself back to bed, lying facing up. I looked at the ceiling thinking of the feeling I was having. I wanted to wake up so bad but my body was refusing me. I closed my eyes for what felt like forever and rested for a bit but when I opened them, I still felt the same.

‘Maybe a jog will restore my energy’ I thought as I jumped out of the bed ignoring how weak I felt.

I didn’t want my day to be all about weakness and laziness.

I got up and got dressed. I took my phone making my way outside through the window. It was still dark outside, well that’s how I liked my day. Waking up early in the morning, start by training to prepare for a productive day. I didn’t like feeling unproductive, like I’m not adding value to the world. I wanted to impact every day, and not impress because impressing was for people that actually cared what other people thought about them. And I wasn’t all about that. I actually didn’t care what people thought about me.

I remember this one time I saw Macie and her mother at the mall, her mother asked me if my mother knew what kind of a person I was and that was she accepting. It didn’t clicked to me until she asked that I have actually never thought about it. I had never thought of telling my mother who or what I was. I don’t know why but it just never registered to me that I had to declare a proclamation of who I was. Maybe it was because my mind is constantly worried about a lot of things it never got around being worried about telling my mother or other people who I was.

‘Oh who am I kidding, I never care and think of caring about what people think of me. I never felt the need to explain, period.’

I looked at the time on my phone, ‘five thirty, well that’s better’ I thought as I made my way out of the gate. I started off running slowly down the road.

‘Ok! Back to the matter at hand. Sorry but I love analyzing things, call me idealistic and logical. To me my life being who you are truthfully is as normal as straight people’s life can be. I mean the fact that the bible talks about people like us it is evidence enough that we exist. Ok fine it doesn’t talk about us in good terms but still it did Ok? Ok, let me ask, Ten Commandments were written, they even included “do not commit adultery” why didn’t they involve “do not fall in love with the same sex”? Ok maybe you think I’m a hypocrite, and it wasn’t involved because it was irrelevant, but remember, he knew me in my mother’s womb. He planned my life, to prosper me and not destroy me. So what are you saying, God is not perfect. Hahaha! Very funny! But foreal, the bible doesn’t talk about what isn’t there so I expected that if God saw that people like us are a sin and we should not exist nor succumb to who we are, he should have warned us. Ok, maybe he did in second Corinthians saying homosexuals will not see the kingdom of God. Ok this is frustrating even for me too. I mean he knew me in my mother’s womb right, so why didn’t he change me?’ I was getting agitated by thinking about that. Let me tell you, I love who I am but like I said, I am a logical person, but then it does say in the bible do not question God’s ethics.

‘Ohh, this is exhausting.’

‘Let me tell you a story. When I found out I was gay it was unexpected. I was visiting. In those visits there was a friend of a family of where I was visiting who had a girl child. I was doing my first senior year. So what happened was that there was a sleep over. I had never had no sleep overs. Ok let’s go back a bit, back then during my last junior year. That’s basically when I started realizing there is this thing called dating.’

THREE AND A HALF YEARS ON A FRIDAY

There is this boy who liked me. He had been courting me for a year and a half. I was yet to say yes. I liked him yes, he was the most wanted at my school and famous with his dance moves but I didn’t care. I just didn’t like him like that. One day he came up to a friend of mine and asked he talked to me on his behalf.

“So Sam said he really likes you, I mean man he’s been courting you this whole time, what you got to lose? Antony my friend asked.

“Fine!” I gave in. Truthfully I wasn’t even into him but I stuck with the fact that I liked him.

THREE AND A HALF YEARS AGO BACK AT HOME ON A SARTUDAY

“Can you meet me in town today?” Sam asked after calling me.

“Umm sure” I agreed not really up for it.

“Hey” he greeted when he saw me at the park in town.

“Hi?” I greeted.

‘This is going nowhere’ I thought already feeling bored.

“Come with me” he dragged me in an ally, there was less people passing by.

“Wusup?” I asked he just looked at me nervously.

“Can I….” he didn’t finish his sentence as he planted his lips on me, I didn’t protest.

It was sweet and smooth, but who am I kidding, I had never kissed anyone before.

Suddenly feeling grossed out, I moved away, I don’t know why but I felt we were done with what he wanted. Get it, what he wanted, it was like I was doing him a favor.

“Come with me to my place, my family is not around” he asked hopefully.

“We will play games and have lunch there” he continued, I just nodded.

When we got into his place he made me lunch, it was sweet of him. I sat down and we talked a lot. He was kind of cool and we had a lot in common. I loved dancing I just never mentioned it to him before.

“Can we do something else?” he asked getting closer to me. Suddenly I felt like I wanted to puke. I told him I wanted to leave, he took me to the bus station and I left.

“What was I thinking” I wondered getting into the bus.

Maybe Michael’s deeds made me hate men but truthfully I didn’t mind him. He was harmless and I felt safe around him. Just not safe enough to do the deed. Maybe I wasn’t ready.

THREE AND A HALF YEARS AGO ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON

‘Agh! I can’t do this. I’m breaking up with him. I mean this is so pointless. If dating is this boring I’m sorry but I guess I’m not a dating person. What am I even doing with him?’ I was still beating myself up.

I could feel I didn’t like him like that. I mean I wasn’t even thinking about him like girls have described it. So yeah I broke up with him that Monday and that was the end of it. He tried and tried to win me back but I just told him we were better off as friends.

THREE MONTHS AFTER THREE AND A HALF YEARS AGO

“We have a substitute teacher in computer” my friend Macie sang in a giddy voice confusing me.

‘What’s so interesting about this new teacher’ I wondered as we went to computer class.

“Good afternoon class, I’m going to be your substitute teacher for this year and maybe next year” she said it like it was honey rolling out of strawberry.

“Hooooot!” I spoke out loud before I could stop myself.

“Umm thanks” she smiled at me. I was totally lost in trance. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. The whole class just laughed at my outburst.

“Can you help me with this books” she asked looking at me but a boy beat me to it.

“I meant her, what’s your name” she asked pointing at me with a now serious face.

“Yours, I mean Max. Shit! Damn! Sorry for cursing” she just laughed at my stupidity.

“Come and help me spread this books” she finished flashing me a thousand dollar smile. I just felt my knees weakened.

‘What is she doing to me?’ I wondered holding on to a desk, I dint want to fall and look like a fool.

Months after she was gone, there was this new girl who liked me. I didn’t know why she liked me, I hated her so much. She was the biggest slut of the school. I mean it was degrading.

‘BAM’ Two months after we had a sleep over. She was there since she was a family friend. I was forced to share my bed with her.

‘Well let’s just say I popped my cherry that night. Yeah we had sex so get over it.’

Imagine! I hated her with everything in me, but we ended up having sex.

I had never watched porn. I wasn’t one who was into sex. In fact I hated sex, and I’m sure you understand why, but it felt so natural.

Well after, she dropped her guys, yeah I said guys. She was straight like a pole. She dropped them, we dated for three months until I dropped her.

Well I had started seeing other woman hot. Blame me! I had just popped out of that ball I had been suffocating in.

PRESENT DAY

Well now you understand the whole gist, I feel for my new teacher and a girl I hated with everything in me and I liked it more than I liked I kissing a boy.

‘So what you go say, natural or not, since you like acknowledging things? Anyways back to the “I need to let my mother and world know thing” Dude this thing came to me like a hurricane. I just fell for someone naturally and I never questioned it. I mean if we were meant to declare then I expect that they themselves tell us. “Oh hey I’m straight. I met someone and I found out I’m straight”. I mean I fell naturally, no influence or pushovers like the boy I kissed, just like all straight people do; so let’s proclaim then! I mean I don’t get it, why should I alarm the world that I am me. There is diversity for a reason right?’ I was fuming a bit inside my mind. This internal talks got me all worked up.

‘It’s like this thing when someone expects you to say “hey I lied” can’t you see it for yourself? Why can’t we just be like “hey you lied, why?” but no we just want to make it hard for everyone! Why don’t you expect them to say “hey I told the truth”, I mean its pointless right. I swear we are so small minded sometimes we are all about “someone needs to acknowledge their mistakes or who they are!” If someone didn’t lie they obviously told the truth, no need for them to declare right? Just like me, if I am not straight or showing any straight traits then I’m obviously something else that doesn’t put you in anything nor does it need me explaining myself to you. All I need is for you to nod and love me unconditionally. What do you think the bible meant when it said love your neighbor as you love yourself. It meant me and you with our mistakes’ shaking my head stopping to regain strength.

‘You ever wonder who God is, why he brought us here on earth. Well let me tell you what I think, a gay person. Maybe I’m wrong but like I said, I’m a logical person, and God gave me this mind for a reason. God is a loving patient diverse God. He brought diversity just like he brought about Judas. He want to teach us who he is and show us that we have a choice in being the person he saw fit for us, and fate can chose for us so we live by either choosing or trusting that he made the right choice about the people we become naturally every day, and if only we trust that we are trying to be good we can become the people we are meant to be. And in order for us to see that, we need to be who we were meant to be. I bet if Judas wasn’t there Christianity wouldn’t be this vast and believed in like it is today. God is a loving God, he brought us in this earth to teach us who he is. He is patient with our bullshit, he is unconditional loving to those that sin and say I will repent when I see death coming. Like death is a person! He is protecting to those that go out clubbing at night knowing very well what could happen. The diversity, me being me; I am important, I should be me. I need to solve a certain puzzle his aim wants to reveal. I’m the one who will be standing in front of God on judgment day about my sexuality not you. I mean, do you think me telling you today and you accepting will change God’s perspective, no! He knows what he is doing, and definitely knows why I am the way I am, so stop making it hard for us to live’ I had started running again, I was gaining pace I could feel it. My body was getting hotter and hotter but I was enjoying the run.

‘Basically what I understand is that we have to tell when we do something different from the known conformed norm but be quiet when we conform! Can’t you see it for yourselves, if it’s not this then it’s that, simple. Why should I be the one telling you. If you think it’s my choice then live with yours too. Don’t judge, but if you do know it’s your own choice too. I don’t get why I should state the obvious. What’s already written? Maybe it’s the fact that a lot believe being like this is a sin and we need deliverance and change.’ I laughed lightly.

‘Then tell me why on earth would I be gay? Yeah gay, if I was meant to change. This isn’t like the influence like all sinners. You ever heard someone say I was born a killer, a smoker, a thief. Heck no! This is something in my genes. Something I ask myself every day that why me out of all people. Well, I ask myself because people just can’t stop talking about the fact that being gay is a sin. Isn’t the act the sin and not the person? So let me ask someone straight out there, what if you found out being straight is a sin, would you try to change, live a miserable life, not be you just so you fit in to the number. Ok I get it, it’s absurd for me to think such. Since you say being gay is a sin, but what did I ever do to God that he decided to allow my genes to have dormant gayness in them. Since we all believe children are born with sin and they are baptized cleansing all that sin then how is it possible that mine was embedded in my genes. You do understand why I keep saying genes right? I mean this is like a strand of genes or blood tissues or massages passed by neurons in me, something I can’t remove even if I wanted to. There are people born with masculinity in them, they shave that beard but it never goes nowhere, it’s always there. Well at least they get to shave for their uniqueness has evidence that can be manipulated but still they are them aren’t they, happy and married, aren’t no changing that. hahaha’ I laughed shaking my head thinking about bearded woman.

‘I’m sorry I had to use you guys as an example, I love you anyways’ I swore making it clear it was just an example. It just felt wrong using them as an example.

‘So back to me. What can I change? Should I go for dialysis, or probably brain surgery God knows no one knows where the gay part is found in the brain or body. Should I go for shock therapy, maybe my views about woman will change. Tell me, when you say I am a sin, what do you think I should fix, or better yet remove? You know the way people talk about gayness it’s like you’re the devil’s spawn. Well that’s what my mother believes anyways. Constantly calling me demon. Fun part is she is already a sinner herself. She judges me. I mean God said judge not and you shall not be judged, and that he is the judge. So look at who’s sinning now. Y’all judgmental homophobic B.S people out there! Do you ever wonder if we like who we are? I mean I certainly don’t sometimes’ I thought about the way I have been treated so far.

‘I mean I feel like if I didn’t have this sin I would be better and perfect. But then no one is perfect, and that’s for a reason.’

I remember this one time when I tried sleeping with a man just so I could be straight. You wanna know what happened next, well let’s just say I don’t regret anything more than that day in my life. I feel I was weak. I listened to what people had said. I wanted so badly to fit in, to change for my mother.

‘It was pathetic really’

‘I mean better a nun than to stoop that low’

That’s why today I am happy the way I am. Well yeah I sometimes shout at God for being me, because he said we should try and be like him, but this be the hardest task of all.

‘I get no smoking, no drinking, no whoring around, no shaming or judging others and all those sins but my sin, if it’s a sin, man it’s the hardest it can be. If someone out there was born gay like I was, I mean no fake just pure gold fish and you happen to be straight and utterly contently happy, please contact me’

‘I mean who can chose this life if you think about it. Who can chose to be gay, I mean that’s basically what people say about us. Ok! let me ask you reader. Can you chose a life of hardship, a life of constantly being discriminated and judged, a life of fear of being raped or worse killed. A life you will probably be disowned for. A life of damnation. Just so you trend, be cool, or better yet seek attention. I swear the things you say about gay people, y’all don’t think first. Who can risk their life and soul just to spite, or be the talk of the town. My dear I myself don’t like people up in my business. So if I was choosing, I’d stick to something that will divert people out of my life. Thinking about it is pointless even, I mean homophobic straight people are so judgmental they think their life is better. Baby! We all get to heaven by his grace, his grace I’m saying. So no one knows why we are this way and I definitely don’t need to explain myself to anyone, not even my mother. If it were for me, I’d come home with a girlfriend and be like, hey mom I found someone I love, period.’

I was on a slow pace enjoying my run thinking a little too much.

‘I am spiritual person if you looked deeper, I love God and I like to be on the right path, but something’s just cut a little deeper than intended’ So this conversation I was having, it’s one of those me and my spiritual being always have.

I was jogging until I saw something different.

‘Well this is new’ I thought, and ignoring the feeling I got at the back of my head.

Maya’s P.O.V

“Macie see me please” I asked as she collected her books together ready to leave.

The day had gotten really slow. There was nothing much but teaching students, at that moment of teaching I had realized there was someone missing in the senior’s class.

“Yes mam” Cie stated drooling at me a bit. It was kind of compelling but inappropriate, I felt invaded but I had to act like I did not see what she was doing.

“I’d rather you call me Miss, mam makes me feel so old, ha ha” I laughed with Cie as she nodded.

“Your friend Max, what happened, he hasn’t been in class?” Cie just laughed at me.

I don’t know what I had said that was funny but she had that questionable look. I wanted to read her mind but with the way she was looking at me I decided against it. I did not want to know what she was on her mind, all was written on her face.

“Did I say something funny” I sarcastically asked confused.

“Nothing, sh….he’s been sick but he will be back soon” Cie shook her head.

“Ok! But tell him he is missing out, he needs to be back in class, and soon if not tomorrow, with a sick note ofcorse” I stated as a matter of fact. I may be friendly but I did not tolerate tardiness.

“Yessss Miss” she dragged the Miss making me feel uncomfortable.

‘Ok! She’s barking up the wrong tree’

“Enough being playful, just let him know he needs to be in class soon or he will fail, and I might have to report him to the new principal” I gave her a stern but soft look. I didn’t want to come on to her strong but I wanted to mark my territory.

“You can go to your lunch now!” I freed her as she had been standing looking at me baffled and unmoving.

“We have a new principal?” she questioned, looking troubled.

‘Me and you kid, me and you’

“Yeah, now go I have lunch to go to”

‘Speaking of lunch, Agh!’

“I have been waiting for you. I didn’t think you were going to show”

“Well I am here aren’t I?” I joked, truthfully wanted so bad to keep this lunch to a professional level. I hope she caught up on that.

“Woke up on the wrong side of the bed?”

‘Ok! I guess I have to lay it out to her’ I tilted my head.

‘Real smooth Maya, there you go messing your one chance to be liked by a principal who barely knows you’ Belinda studied me closely, she moved her hand to touch my face but I move back fast she gave me a questionable look.

‘And you are back!’ I thought hating my inner-self’s timing.

‘I have been here all the time, and I saw how you were drooling over Miss Principal here yesterday’ she said it like I wasn’t there when it happened.

‘Shut up!’ I argued.

‘Yes mam’ she gave in.

‘Not you too’ I warned as my mind betrayed me.

‘No, that’s like three of us now’ my inner-self protested.

‘Just shut up’ I warned her.

‘Ok!’ she obeyed.

“You look like you are having an internal battle with yourself” Belinda stated studying me closely again. I don’t know why but she kept on moving closer to my face, it was exhausting.

“Not really, just tired that’s all” I was really feeling tired. I don’t know why but I just felt really tired.

Belinda’s P.O.V

I don’t know why but something was different about this Miss Johnson. She was strong I could tell. I mean my effect on her didn’t work much, it only exhausted her. I just wanted to know the bond they shared with Max, and the fact that she is still young, she should be around forty by now.

‘Who are you, in fact what are you hidding?’ I contemplated studying her closely.

‘This is going to be harder than what I bargained for’ I gave up realizing her walls were thinker than my drive for information.

Max’s P.O.V

“Michael!”

“Maxine!” he knew how much I hated being called by my full name, but he did it regardless. It pissed me off, and it was what he wanted out of me.

‘Not today creep’ I protested in my mind, not in the mood to allow him to trouble me.

“How was school?” he probed annoying me more.

“Maybe you should go to one to know. Opps! You can’t, because you are old and never finished junior classes!” I gave him the same enthusiasm he had, it provoked him, he just fell silent.

‘That was kind of harsh’ my inner-being complained making me groan.

‘Agh!....but he started it’

‘..but that’s not who we are, we can’t allow someone’s words dictate our character’ my inner-being projected.

‘I know’

That was his routine now, I would mock him the same way he did, and he wouldn’t do anything just stay silent. I know it’s not what I was, I made sure to remind myself every day that.

‘And you wonder why?.....and by the way, Yes I didn’t go to school and he asked knowing very well I haven’t gone to it’ I just hated him asking like he cared.

He still acts up around me, tryna mock me or better yet do something that will provoke me, and well that’s how much he hated me anyways.

A YEAR AGO

“Hey girl, wanna show me some love?” I heard a stupid voice and I knew that sound and intention all too well to entertain it.

“In your dreams, creep” I responded to the guy who had been following me.

I saw him in town twice, he kept giving me creepy pedophile eyes. It reminded me of Michael. I acted like I didn’t see him. I just wanted him gone, but I guess I was wrong.

‘And here we are’

“You know you want this” he grabbed his nut sack.

‘Gross!’

“Gross!” I let it out scrunching up my nose showing him how disgusted I was.

“Fagot!” he looked pissed off at my reply. Well that’s what he wanted out of me anyways, to annoy me and prove himself.

‘Oh shame such saddening desperation’

“I’ve heard better!” I continued still walking pissing him off more.

“Dyke” he chimed behind me getting angrier and gaining pace.

“Try something out of the dictionary, or human intellect” he just gawked at me like I had grown two heads.

“Didn’t you hear” I stopped and got closer to him.

“I’m sorry if I am speaking bigger words for you, I guess learning is better than being a prick in the streets stopping students” I insulted more dragging my words but I could tell he was ashamed and short of words.

I wanted him to back off but he was adamant in pissing me off.

“Niggar!” I huffed, exhausted by his stupidity. He was holding my hand a little too tight for my liking.

“Fuck you” he said like it was the best he ever said in months.

‘Really! Agh! I don’t have time for this’ he was exhausting me.

“Listen…” I trailed turning back to him, causing him to halt. I studied his face, he looked angry, but that wasn’t the icing in the cake. He was shy and nervous, like he was waiting for something, or someone. He kept looking left and right.

‘Well here goes nothing’

“Do you like me or you just doing this to spite me?” I channeled my emotions and care, it scared us both. Truthfully it was kind of psychotic.

Shocked but he still answered with a different kind of soft look. I could tell he wanted so bad to be bad but it wasn’t in him.

“Yeah I like you, but you are this!” he pointed out my dress cord like it’s was some weird thing dropping my hand in the process.

“What is this?” I asked pointing the same way he did wanting him to confirm what he meant. I was just getting into his nerves, I knew what he meant from the beginning.

“You are a gay!” he finished putting his hands on his pockets, trying to gain his composure.

“What makes you think I’m “a” gay?” I played it off quoting the ‘a’. It was kind of pathetic really to place me as an object.

“Your dress cord and body, you are fit. Dude why are you asking me this stupid questions. I like you and I want you to be my girl. I can change you, you just need the D to realize this thing you doing aren’t shit” he said with too much ego looking at me up and down.

‘Hahahahahaha’

‘NOTE: Internally laughing this guy, he was so full of himself’

“What does a gay mean to you?” I ignored his outburst. I wanted so badly to laugh but I swallowed it back. I mean he was so oblivious of his own stupidity.

“That you dig eating pussy?” he finished rolling his eyes, I could tell I was getting onto his nerves with the questions.

“I like or love?” I genuinely smiled at his obliviousness.

“Whatever man, but you eat fish” he finished making me cringe, but smile after.

Our conversation had turned from him being angry at the fact that I wasn’t giving him the time to him getting agitated that I was giving him too much attention.

‘Talk about reverse psychology’ I internally blew my own horn.

“Actually I love fish. Fish is really good. Healthy, and makes you smart if you start eating it at a younger ager” I pissed him to the core, he wanted to protest or whatever, I don’t know but he looked like he was about to scream at me.

‘Gotcha!’

“About the ladies, we will get there, Ok! So you said you like me and you can change me?” I ask changing the subject making him raise his eyes brows in confusion and surprise. I sure was confusing him more, it was fun.

“Yeahhhh!” he dragged his words annoyed clearly not seeing the bigger picture.

“What do you expect for someone who likes or wants something to do?” I played with his mind, I could tell he was getting impatient, but I kept him interested and calm enough to listen.

“They go get it, bitch where you going with this crappy questions?” he asked a little pissed I was swaying away from what he wanted.

‘Boyyyyy’ I mind rolled my eyes.

“Is that what you call your mother, or girlfriend, because with your looks and confidence I know you have one or two girls out there” I finished off getting his attention again. He got cocky and smiled.

‘Boyyyy, you’re in for a treat of your life’ I looked at him. I’m sure he was getting a big head.

“No!” he sincerely laughed.

“No, as in the other one or no as in no girl because that’s a lie, you’re too cute and I’m sure deep down you’re charming not to have a girl “I pushed up his buttons a bit.

‘Now we are getting somewhere’

“I don’t call my mother or my women bitch” he emphasized on the woman part.

‘Got you where I wanted’

“So why me?” I asked smiling back at him. He was kind of genuine, just that I guess he was mixed up with the wrong crowd.

“Well…..you cute and you need my D to change” he looked really confused I could tell he was going to start being angry any moment.

“Your D. Mhhhh!” I laughed, he looked at me confused.

“Ok! Let me tell you something you didn’t know. I was expecting you to ask me one question after you got my attention the first time you stopped me. I was expecting you ask if I ever chose to be like this”

He just looked at me like I had grown two heads.

“I know it’s a weird way to start a conversation but at least it shows you actually care to know me before we can talk about your D and all that” I laughed which caused him to laugh too.

“First of all, you do not approach other ladies like this, you be like ‘Ohhh girl you fine can I know you’ and if she gives you the ‘fuck off’ vibe you be there impressing and all that weird shit man do to get a girl. But at the end of the day you get her, right?” I asked trying to make sure he was still listening.

“Yeah” he laughed at my joking, he was surely interested in what I had to say next.

“Wait, you go lecture me on how to pick up girls?” he asked making a joke looking at me questionably.

“Did you pick this one?” I asked laughing pointing at me.

“No!....but….” I didn’t let him finish. I knew where he was going with the conversation, but I wanted to sway him somewhere else a bit. Call me creepy but ever since I learned how to study people I have gotten myself out of a lot of trouble.

“…so I’m gonna ask you again, why did you approach me the way you did. No! Don’t answer that, you won’t have an answer. You just felt belittled you wanted to prove your manhood, but why not prove it like you always do, like with other woman you approach. Again don’t answer that. Your approach was disrespectful that is why I gave you the same energy you gave out. If you had come nicely I would have been nice with you. Maybe we could be sitting at Starbucks right now having lunch.” I stated making him smile, he just gave me the most confused smiley face. He was starting to warm up to me I could tell.

“You are….” I didn’t allow him to finish that one too, I know what he wanted to say next, but I wanted to keep him on track so I continued.

“No lady would say yes to that approach! Woman like it when you approach them with respect and regard for who they are. You’re the one invading their space, so nigga you got to respect it for them to respect yours too.” I spoke in a serious tone. I could tell he was really intrigued now.

“Another thing, I said I expected you ask me why I chose to be like this. And I would answer you with a question asking who chose this kind of life. I mean this life’s hard, sad, unwelcomed by people and society, embarrassing to those that care of what people think and ungodly to those that believe God made Adam and Eve and not Adam and Steve. Although who could say I know what God is all about. Aren’t we all here to learn of who he really is?” I could tell he was gob smacked. Like if a car could honk, he was going to scream like a girl. I continued seeing he wanted me to talk more.

‘Ok! Let me introduce you to my talent. When I speak the truth, people tend to want me to continue talking. I don’t know why but I guess I have a way of putting the truth in a way one can accept and is happy to listen to’

“If you think about it, why would I chose to be different and live a hard life when it is very easy to live amongst the majority? Why would I want to be treated everyday like you were treating me minutes ago? Why would I chose a life of damnation? Why would I chose chaos when in truth all we want is happiness, acceptance, love and to be content? And please don’t say its fashion, fame or I’m attention seeking, because all don’t feed what every soul desires; love, acceptance, marriage, family and safety”

“Damn! You are deep. You know I have never thought about it that way. I wanna know why though?” I was now adamant I continued with my story, I just acted oblivious.

“Why what?” I laughed at his sudden interest.

“Why this life, why not the simple, known and acceptable life?” he motioned with his hands pointing at my body.

“We are friends now. Give me your phone!” I commanded, he was right where I wanted him to be. He looked me confused but gave me his phone anyways.

“Call me so I save yours numbers” I held my phone up waiting for him to call.

He just laughed and called, he kept looking at me smiling and confused.

‘Let me teach everyone something. When someone comes on to you aggressively, do not be aggressive, but rather show them that they are not who they came as, they are better and can act better and you see better in them than who they think they are. Don’t fight fire with fire, fight fire by introducing it to water. Not unless its hell fire like Michael. Hahaha!’

I saved his number ‘new guy road’. I had this tendency of forgetting people’s names but never the situation we met in or their faces, so this was gonna make things better. I don’t know how he saved mines but I was good either way.

“What’s with that goofy smile” I asked suddenly intrigued by his sudden personality.

“Your weird, but weird good” he finished still smiling putting his phone back, I just shook my head still smiling.

“Hey faggots!” two guys approached us, one was carrying a bat, I could tell they were all trouble.

“Fuck!” I heard the one I was standing with curse, I didn’t know his name yet.

“You need to run, those are real trouble guys, and they sent me to start trouble with you. I’m sorry broh” he assured me, I could see the sincerity in his eyes.

‘Well this is new’

“You run, they’ll find me here. I need to have a talk with them too” I assured him, he just looked at me like I was crazy.

“Dude those aren’t guys you make a conversation with, those are the kind you invite to bash things up” he cried his face written fear all over it. He was scared of them too.

‘Ok! This is my cue to leave, I should leave’

“See you around” I told him as I turned picking up the pace.

And they caught up….