Reliving

The world spins around me. I looked around but Alicia and Dominick were no longer there, nor is the lanky man.

I staggered and bent forward as soon as I felt my stomach churn.

Blaargh!

I readied myself for the putrid smell to spread but nothing—nothing came out. I threw up one more. And more. And more. But nothing came out!

What the heck is happening!

Prickling pain assaulted my chest. It hurts to breathe.

"S-Somebody… help."

With grueling effort, I opened my heavy lids. Neatly trimmed towering hedges. Ha! I'm still in the maze garden.

Warm sticky liquid streaked down my nose and the corner of my mouth. Or so I thought—but there was none!

Somehow, this feeling is so familiar. It's exactly the same when I downed four bottles of medicine!

"He—" I wanted to shout for help but when I was about to do just that, my jaw tightened. Fear and restlessness soon wriggled in my chest, slowly inching closer, squirming, slowly consuming me. Stabbing and numbing pain like electricity crept from the tips of my fingers to my shoulders and to my neck. And fragmented scenes flashed before my eyes.

They were too fast but it's impossible for me not to recognize the person shown in the fragmented scenes like broken glasses. It was me. It was Sean!

All fours on top of the bed. Disarrayed hair, sweaty, and a pool of vomit by the headboard. Not long, I began arching my neck and back uncontrollably, my arms flailing in all directions. I don't know how many times that scene repeated itself like a broken record.

I'm confused as to why are all these are even happening in the first place. I found myself already curled into a fetal position. Only then did I realize that I was trembling like crazy. I'm scared.

Somehow, all the hesitation and fear I felt at that time when I decided to end my life felt like a joke to what I'm feeling right now.

I'm scared.

"I don't want to die. I don't want to die." I mumbled repeatedly like crazy.

"I don't want to die…"

I remembered—I didn't want to die after all. I was just tired. But haven't I suffered enough? Haven't I worked hard enough? Huh? Was that not enough enduring yet, huh?

Then, why?

Why would I have to relive this moment again? Why do I have to suffer again? Why? Why? Why?

Why can other people be so lucky and I am not? Haven't I become a good older brother? Haven't I done my best? Huh? Of all people, why me?

Curled in a fetal position, I felt naked as streaks of tears ran down my cheeks. Can't I just…be happy for once?

The glass-like fragmented scenes shattered one by one like fireworks in pitch-black darkness. But just before the very last piece exploded, a guttural and agonizing scream reverberated in every possible corner of my ears. Echoing repeatedly.

Knocked senseless—unable to think and feel properly. I can never be mistaken. Those voices. My siblings and my father.

In the seconds before the veil of darkness decapitated, one last scene showed up. It was them… My siblings crying like crazy while looking at my father carrying my body.

"Somebody! Help! Anyone! My son—"

"Father, is brother Sean okay?" Luca asked.

"He's not dead yet, he still has a pulse. So quick! Call your aunt! We need to bring him to the hospital."

And just like that, the scene ended. While I was left there speechless. Unable to move an inch.

My throat tightened as though it had a lump in it. I can't believe what I saw. No! I don't want to believe it. That's impossible!

But—is it though?

If it is, then aren't I the worst?

How can I be so selfish? How can I do that to them? How can I do that to Luca, Dylan, and to my father? As if losing a mother and a wife wasn't painful enough.

I mean, how could I have forgotten? Wasn't the reason why I acted so tough in front of them was so they could have someone to lean on as a pillar of strength and support? I had been their lifeline like how Karl was to me. And yet… How could I make them experience exactly the same thing that broke me completely?

I staggered as I attempted to walk. I needed to get out of here. What happened to my body? Was the original Jack Miller there? If he is, then I hope he takes care of my family. Of my brothers. Of my father. That's my selfish wish.

"Mr. Jack. You've been staring at that for a while now. What's so good about that statue?" My heart almost leaped out of my ribcage when I suddenly heard a voice. It was Alicia!

I was shocked beyond compare when I realized that my surroundings changed. I was now in front of a gigantic lion statue. We're still inside the maze garden.