Chapter 49

　　How does he know about Ray?

　　“Fine,” I answer stiffly.

　　“Come here; we need to talk about this.” He watches me intensely, a no-nonsense expression on his face.

　　“No,” I close him down and take a gulp of my water; it almost chokes me going down. I want to know what I told him about Ray, and about my father, but I also don’t want to know, don’t want to talk about this. I feel sick. Maybe I should tell him I need to throw up and lock myself in my room for an hour, make him leave me alone. I need to think.

　　“Don’t you trust me, Emma?” He sounds so hurt, it hurts me too and knocks me sideways in surprise.

　　“Of course, I trust you,” I say, turning to him, flashing anger, incensed at the question.

　　How could he ask me that?

　　We’re together almost constantly; I have to trust him. I do trust him. I have never told him otherwise!

　　I realize it’s the first time I’ve admitted to myself that I actually do, and it startles me a little as I really let it sink in.