Chapter 51

  In … Out … In … Out … In …. Out. Slowly and surely.

  I force myself to focus on the ceiling light above me and keep going, knowing it helps.

  In … Out … In … Out … In … That’s right, nice and steady.

  I’m not in Chicago anymore; it’s okay now. I’m in control of this. I regulate my breathing to match my count, bringing myself down from near hysterics, drying my eyes.

  In … Out … In … Out … Slower, bring it down a notch.

  I’ve overcome this a million times, and I can do it again. I can fix this. I’m better than this.

  In … Out … In … Out. Take deep breaths in … It’s getting easier.

  In … Out … In … Out. Calmer, smoother breathing.

  The tidal wave subsides slowly and the blackness fades out. My lungs move more easily, the heaviness lifting, and I inhale deeply.

  In … Out … In … Out.

  Like a chant.

  I’m in control. I’m not a child anymore. Ray is not here to hurt me.