Chapter 394

  All I can think of is the years of memories with him, the trust and bond between us. The happy times and shared moments; the bad ones and how he wiped away my tears. The pain I felt when he told me he was leaving, and the hatred when I met Natasha for the first time and realized this one was different for him. She wasn’t temporary. The overwhelming pettiness and dislike for a girl I assumed just annoyed me endlessly, while all this time it’s been heartbreaking jealousy because she has him in a way I never can.

  The past eighteen months of simultaneously pushing him away with my behavior to punish yet clinging to him with need. I have spent the entirety of his relationship with her trying to regain my hold on him in stupid ways, smug when it works, devastated when it doesn’t. Lashing out at him for it, and it’s all becoming painfully crystal clear to me in this face-slapping moment of clarity.