Chapter 462

  Then the moment is broken as couples begin clapping as the song ends and we break apart to join in awkwardly, aware that the moment is gone. I look around, anywhere but at him, in a bid to get myself and my emotions under control. Head crazily whirring at what I should feel or even say, I know his eyes are on me, I can feel them burning into my profile, but I cannot look back at him. I’m too afraid to show him any hint of weakening resolve. So close to tears, so very close to sobbing and throwing myself at him to make it all better. He opens up every vulnerable part of me and pulls the rug from under my feet. I can’t let him though, and there is nothing he can say to make anything about this right, ever again.

  Where he’s concerned, the wall is up, and he never gets to hurt me again; I am battling my own will to build it faster. He doesn’t get to see how he affects me, and he doesn’t get to know that I still even care. I will die before I let him know that I still love him.