Chapter 616

  Saying those words bite at me and I inhale slowly to soothe the way it tastes. I am not fully numb, but it’s there, cutting off a lot off what lingers behind, so it doesn’t touch me. Like a million times in my childhood when I thought I was living through the worst hell of my life. It amazes me how many different types of hell one person can endure.

  “I don’t think that sounds to me like you don’t care. It sounds a lot like you are in the first stages of grief… Numb and empty are classic shock symptoms. When it comes to death, they can last a while, with some, the more intense your devastation it seems the stronger the numbness hits you. I think you maybe feel a lot more than you realize and you’re dealing with it differently to him. It’s normal.”