Chapter 5

　　The light that seeped through the room woke me.

　　“Dammit,” I mumbled, remembering that I forgot to close the curtains last night after Blake tried to serenade me through the window.

　　It was not like I had a good night of sleep. I could still feel the awkward silence after I asked Blake to bring me back home. He didn’t speak to me a single time as we climbed on the bike, and he didn’t once stop until we were in front of our house. I still tried to say goodbye, but he completely ignored me and sped away on the motorcycle. I stood out there until he turned the corner and couldn’t see him anymore. When I finally got into bed after that I just couldn’t fall asleep again. I tossed and turned, and if I got a full two hours of sleep it must’ve been a lot.

　　I got out of bed, ready to get dressed when I realized that it was Saturday, so I turned around and got back into bed. It was not like I had anything to look forward to in life. And that is when it hit me!

　　How on earth does Blake know where I live? Who told him? It’s not like I have any friends who could have pointed out my house to him.

　　Thinking of this and everything Blake had said to me last night I just couldn’t fall asleep again, and I was also reminded by my growling stomach that I didn’t eat at all yesterday. So thanks to that I was forced out of bed and down to the kitchen for the biggest possible bowl of cornflakes that I could find.

　　I was busy pouring some milk over my cereal when I hear a voice behind me.

　　“Morning Elijah. Slept well?” It was my mom and she sounded livelier than I have heard her in years.

　　“Hullo…” I muttered back, reliving my dad’s bad breath as he threatened me the night before. I wasn’t planning on giving her more than what I just gave her. I would talk, but only enough to get my dad to leave as soon as possible. Other for that I would be mute. Like I have always been.

　　“Slept well?” she repeated the question as I sat down at the table.

　　Woman! Can you not tell that I have no desire to talk to you?!

　　“Okay,” I said and put a spoon full of cereal into my mouth, trying to avoid talking again. That was it. As long as my mouth was full she couldn’t possibly expect me to answer her. I mean, good manners comes way before revealing conversations about why you went mute for four years?

　　“So… It’s nice that your dad came to help? It seems to be working hey?” The smile on her face tried to convince me in the one thing I really did not believe in. To be honest; him being here has just fucked me up a bit more.

　　I just nodded in response, as I pushed another big spoon of cereal into my mouth.

　　“So, would you like to spend the day with me and your dad? We could watch that movie you have been dying to see?” she asked, clearly thinking we were all of a sudden a great big happy family again.

　　No woman! As long as he is here I do not want to spend time with you! Think for yourself a bit. I stopped speaking a week before he left you out in the cold. Smell the coffee!

　　That was what I wanted to say but I caught myself saying: “Nah thanks. Got plans with a friend.”

　　“Well that’s great news honey! Who is it? Do I know them?”

　　I sighed. This was the last thing I wanted. For her to start being nosey about what is going on in my life. The lesson here – DO NOT TALK! It only leads to trouble.

　　“Just a guy from school. He’s new.”

　　“Well you should have fun, okay! This is so great! Wait, let me go and tell your father!” Her irritating voice screeched through my head and I groaned. How could a grownup act like a teenage like in this way? Did she have any idea how running-with-scissors she was acting?

　　Then it hit me square between the eyes.

　　I had nowhere to go. As in nowhere! I could go to Blake, but I have no idea where he lives. Damn, I don’t even have his phone number. I bet Lucy would have it. She makes sure she knows everything about everybody, but then again I didn’t have her number either, so I am out of luck on that one as well.

　　Moping in my room for over an hour, getting dressed in a Black Veiled Brides hoodie and skinny jeans didn’t help either. Not even when I straightened my hair until you couldn’t see my eyes anymore did I feel remotely better. I am to go out, but I have nowhere to go. And then it dawned on me.

　　Blake Barlow

　　I watched the magnifying glass on the screen for a while before I clicked it. Eureka! Thank you Facebook. I typed the message quickly.

　　Hey. Sorry bout last night. Can we talk?

　　It took a few minutes before his message came through.

　　Sure. Wanna meet up?

　　It’s now or never Elijah! If you want to get cold feet, now is the time to do it. After you say yes, there will be no turning back.

　　Meet me @ the apple tree?

　　And now the long wait. One… Two… Three… …. … Twenty-five… Twenty-six…

　　Catch you there in an hour.

　　***

　　I knew I was an hour early, but that didn’t take of the edge of having to wait for Blake.

　　Why on earth would I do this? I don’t even like him. Or do I? I could’ve just gone and spent the day alone at the mall. Caught a movie. Checked out the latest albums. Why on earth did I have to message Blake? Was I really that mentally fucked? Was I really looking for trouble that much? It’s not as if trouble has ever excited me. Maybe it’s just teen rebellion running around in my mind. That’s supposed to happen, right?

　　“I wondered if you would actually show.”

　　I turned around and he was there.

　　“Show me your phone,” Blake said, looking totally hot in a checkered shirt, chinos and a hat that sat askew on his head. Without even thinking and still totally breathless I held out my phone to him.

　　Blake pushed a few buttons, and typed around on my phone. Then his phone went off with Panic! At the Disco loudly proclaiming that if I loved him I had to let him go. The irony.

　　“Now you’ve got my number and I’ve got yours,” he said with a smile and gave the phone back to me, making sure to brush his hand over mine as I took it.

　　“Want to sit down?” Blake said and fell down under the tree, patting his hand on the ground next to him. With a sigh I sat down.

　　“How did you know where I lived?” I blurted. I just needed to know.

　　“Lucy knows everything,” Blake said and laughed. “Beach-blonde-barbie is apparently not as dumb as she looks.”

　　Blake is acting like nothing happened last night. In fact he is acting that we do this all the time. Meeting up under the tree and randomly talking about Lucy. What the hell is wrong with this picture?

　　“You said you wanted to talk?” Blake asked.

　　This was it. Dooms-day. Apocalypse coming my way, although I didn’t see any zombies yet.

　　“Sorry about last night. I’m not used…” I cut my sentence short.

　　“Don’t be. It’s in the past now. I don’t look back. I only focus on the here and now, and very occasionally the future,” Blake said and positioned himself against the tree so that his shoulder brushed against mine.

　　Gosh! This guy is just the best! He says all the right things at the right times! If I didn’t talk to him I would so have to kick myself later!

　　“I’m not you. I’m not glued yet,” I mumbled and looked down. I didn’t want to look into his eyes. I didn’t want him to see mine either; not that he would be able to with my fringe in the way.

　　“Then let me glue you.” He said it like it was the easiest thing in the world to do. Like he would walk into my life and just magically make everything better again. Like there would never be anything wrong ever again.

　　“How?” I could feel the tears stinging in my eyes. Everybody wanted to fix me over the past few years, but this was different.

　　“Just tell me what went wrong,” I could hear the concern in his voice. I am sure if I was to look up to his face I would see a cute frown and maybe even see him biting his bottom lip.

　　“I can’t.” I could feel the first tear slipping from my eye, no matter how hard I tried to swallow it back.

　　“Did somebody hurt you?” Blake bit his lip. Nervous for intruding upon my feelings, but also needing to know the truth, and damn that was all that I wanted to give him, but I know that I can’t.

　　I shook my head. Nobody hurt me. Not in the way he means in any case. There is worse ways of hurting people than becoming physical.

　　“Elijah? Look at me.”

　　I couldn’t ignore him. His voice was like that of a siren and I was forced to lift my head, ignoring my fringe falling backwards to expose my teary eyes.

　　Then it happened. A thousand butterflies exploded in my stomach. My heart wrenched up and pounded against my throat. My lips became his, and my eyes closed, falling into an impossible dream of love and kisses.

　　I could feel his hand on my cheekbone, slowly making its way to my hair, holding me in place, as if I would try and escape the grasp his lips have put me in, but that was the furthest thing from my mind as I parted my lips to allow his tongue entry into my mouth, embracing the most exciting experience of my life so far.

　　Can you hear the bells Elijah!? They are not wedding bells! It is bells chiming to warn you that you are making a stupid decision! I could hear every word being screamed in my head, but I could not care less. I ignored it. Knowing it to be true, but trying my best to push it to the back of my mind.

　　If he find out your secret he will be just as guilty as you are!

　　That did it! That was the words that my mind needed to scream to get my attention. I pushed Blake so hard that he fell backward, and I didn’t stay to see if he was okay. Instead I turned around and I ran as fast as I could. Away from the tree, Blake and everything that just happened, hoping that it would just all go away.

　　***

　　I felt his sour breath on my neck before I even had the chance to smell it, which I don’t understand since it reeked of alcohol. It had the same stench it had that fateful night. The one that drove me into complete silence all together. On the one hand I wanted to just stay still and act as if I was sleeping, but my instinct took over and made me recoil away from him until I was in the corner at the top of the bed, away from his immediate touch, but not quite out of reach.

　　“Wh’ee wa ya t’night?” He was drunk. I could tell by the way he could barely speak.

　　“I say, wh’ee way a t’night?”

　　I had to duck away as he spat the words. I didn’t even know he drank anymore. He stopped after everything happened. He said we had to do it that way. He had to stop drinking and I had to keep quiet. That was part of the deal to make sure that nobody would ever find out.

　　“Talk!” he hissed and I realized I still haven’t answered him. Not that I wanted too… I was trying to get away from everything. From my mom. From him. Even from Blake. I didn’t want any of them near me at this moment. That is why I didn’t come home. Why I waited outside in the shed until all the lights were out until I crawled into the house and to my bed. Obviously it was the wrong decision.

　　“Outside in the shed,” I mumbled, deciding that the truth would be better.

　　“Ya ma say you’se went to a fwend.” His eyes narrowed. I could see the hatred build up in it.

　　“I just told her that so she wouldn’t want to spend time with me. So I don’t have to talk.” I was close to wetting myself. I had to get away from him. I was willing to tell him anything he wanted to hear, whether it was a lie or the truth.

　　“You lie!” The hiss was accompanied by spit and whiskey stench. Foul…

　　“I don’t have friends. Nobody wants to be friends with the freak who can’t talk.”

　　This must’ve been enough for him. He pulled his face into an ugly wrinkle, trying to consume the knowledge he was just hit with. He looked stupid. Sad. Pathetic even.

　　“’Kay. Bu’ I watch ya!” He slowly lowered himself from my bed and half walked and half fell out of my room, knocking over a scrapbook that was laying on my desk.

　　I jumped from the bed eyes wet with tears, locking my door as quickly as I could, not wanting another encounter like that ever again; wondering how on earth I was going to get his stench out of my room.