Chapter 3

Working has always been like waves of the ocean. There is down periods of no customers which it prime shelf fixing time and restock. Then there is cues in several departments as whole baskets are being till through. That's often where you have the most coming up to you for help or if you are at till, you make the most side sale.

I worried that my sight and ability to interact with invisible people would be a problem. As it turns out, anyone here that was invisible is here to make the work harder or easier. Any connected to a customer is processed by them. There is occasionally where some step out of thier person to fight with whatever or do something. But they return before their human leaves the store. It makes life easier to sort of ignore or help. It a nice little thing I could sway in how I speak to each customer, making my retail service better somehow.

When demons are doing things, I nite what it is and be prepared for the outcome. Say removing price tags or tampering the security tags. It's small things they do, nothing like a shelf collapsed off the wall. Not yet at least. The level of hinder or help is a ranking thing. I noticed this. Even when an angel wants to help do something better or a demon does try the shelving - they can't do it. Like it was limited strength. Many times demons will find me annoying and throw a hung clothing on me. But it's harmless. Angels tend to remove it before I try to. I did help a demon out with playing a prank on some kids trying to steal. Then I went up to them to ask if things were alright, instead got a confession from them about what they done. I was hard on them but I didn't want this to be their future. Clearly there is more going on that isn't their fault but I can't change that.

At the end of my work day, checking for anything stolen out my bag or mistaken as me stealing it. Not many people took notice of me looking around, watching the foot traffic going home for the evening. A last look back of the management locking shutters. Nothing as of note that seemed wrong. But it's dark and shadowy, it's where the most visible of dream walkers become. I got onto my bus and find no a single demon or angel here. Not even procession. Odd.

I step off my bus and avoided things. Making around to my front door. A puzzled stranger on my driveway. I debated about talking to them but I unlocked my door. The dogs had heard me. I got to sort them out. I close my door and lock it behind me. Step over two cats and the third on my shoulder when I remove my coat. I came through to the living room, nothing out of place. The jars and card still here.

I check my back door in a creaking it. Someone back at it. Or that they blocked me from seeing past them because they are stood right there. Given that I don't must choose but to let them go out, I let them past the undertaker.

"Excuse me." I open it wide with the dogs running about the back garden. So happy and smelling everyone invisible. I put the cat into the house before stepping out myself. I walked through this person and closed the door behind me. Preventing anyone from entry. I moved to lean on my back wall, mostly in watching the dogs then the people investigating my yard. Someone going through my black bin for the clean up I did inside the house. I jolted at that being slammed closed. In thought, where there being a lot of people around. All I hear is my dogs and the bin bags being shuffled through. I am not hearing them talking and I don't hear them breathing. A sort of thing I assumed we all did, it must be a living thing to breath all the time.

"You been busy today." Shade, the undertaker who talked to me before. He disturbed everyone with suddenly talking to me.

"I went to work, I have to pay my house bills somehow." He notes, "Did you want my work schedule or something?" He looked up and nods, "Right..." I took my phone from my pocket and brought it up. He put his pad on my screen and seemed happy enough with that. He flips about his notepad pages a long time. I put my phone back for now, "Did you want the likely necklace that caused this?" He was deep in his flipping about as a different set approached.

"You're in association of the society?"

"My grandparents are. I had a letter from them recently but no. I am not actually a member." Shade nods at this like he knew too. Maybe he swipe the whole content of my phone, not that I have anything embarrassing or incrementing on there. His more then welcome to my log in hours of reading novels and playing phone apps.

"She is totally clueless." Shade adds. They pose thinking about things, the pair in front of me gesture in their own silent conversation and with shade suddenly looking at them. The two backed off. I seem to be missing a clue here, but I don't dare ask questions that aren't mine to ask, "Miss, other then your grandparents. Who else in your family could also be a soceity member?"

"That's a tough question." I had to think long about this, "My grandparents on that side had my father and my uncle. My uncle wants nothing to do with it all. His marred and has a son. He only really talks to them on holidays, like me. My mom kept some of the practices for my sake but has no connections to the church. I know my mother's side better. I could name most of my great cousins but as I am aware, not really anyone of them is with that church." He freezes a moment as I did, "As for my step father and his family, they all British folks. I doubt it." he blinks at me, "What?"

"You're..."

"American?" I asked, "Yeah."

"No... you are that clueless." I shrug at him, "The society of the church is everyone in your bloodline, going back generations. Being estranged, I would get that you had no clue but no one had explained at least that much." I shrug at this, "Right." He frowns a lot, "Your father..."

"The letter asked about him too but I never met him." I sigh in the annoyance of memories from my American school days, my jealousy of seeing fathers picking up their children. Clouded thoughts swept to the side with him trying to show me something. This image has a lot of angels, demons and undertaker stand side by side. They all held a mask of strange clay in hand. Shade points to one guy in particular, he is the only person holding a book and a mask. I do resemble him, "So that's what he looks like. Still can't say I know the guy. I have hated him a long time."

"Why?" I shook at choosing to not answer this, "He abandoned you or something?"

"More like refused to believe I was his. Left my mom to look after me. I had a lot of bias over the years, I tried offering a olive branch. But... He refused to contact me. When he did, it was meaningless replies that meant little. I told his parents, they confirmed that bias. My mother warned me that he was a total stranger towards me. He isn't my father, just someone that helped make me at the start. I got what I wanted later in life, I call my father as he is to me, the British folk that took us in." Shade made a short note and pondered, "I never been around the church since I cut close ties to the majority of American family. I make the occasional holiday calls, that's it. I only really asked my..." I had to pause a moment, "My cousin last night about looking at the grave plot for me. I can't afford the travel over there."

"Two separate countries." he ponders, "But..." he frowned a lot, "Why didn't you get enlisted into the boarding school?"

"There is a boarding school?" I asked and waved about moving that aside, "School for me was one the hardest things. I didn't learn to write and read until I moved here in England. My mom struggled with schooling me or taking me to all the public schools." He points to that.

"That is interesting." He takes out a different book, it has a black leather cover. Just as before with the guide book, it was wordless to my current eyes. He offers it to me as he did before but i have a lot of back feeling towards it. I stepped away as he did, "Do you know what this is?"

"Another book that i can't read with these eyes." I replied fast and he peered at me strangerly, "Also that book has a lot of weird about it."

"Well, you're not wrong." He shows me that picture again, "This book in this photo is like this one." He says like I should know a difference. My back door opened and for sure, i felt like coming in. The clap at the door, the dogs running back in from, "How do you do that?" He gestures about the door.

"Everyone in that photo as a mask like me." I directed, "They would know better then I do." I moved around back into the house. Shade had followed me, "The book in the photo." I pondered, "I have touched it before but I was really young." I had a headache from that, "I can't." I rub a temple, "I hide it from everything because I was scared. That's vaguely what I remember. My memories have been hazed since." he moved the book away from me now and I watched him put it away, "Best to never upset the books, was something I used to say."

"Ah." he writes that down, "Where did you hide it?" He asked. I stare blankly at him.

"You don't want to find it." I know for certain, "You don't want to break the rules bond to it." I added.

"You fear that sort of thing?" He asked. I closed my door a bit more.

"It's complicated and giving me a headache. I would rather not talk about it." He frowned and I was the one leaving without further say. I went up stairs for a bath and change out of the work uniform. I try to relax my thoughts again, feeling strange pain through my whole body. I assumed I was just aching and tired from the gift of mother nature plus a stress of recent changes.

It does cross my mind that I have candles to make and I want to fetch fresh flower oils for it. I should check my Etsy account for anyone making send made orders on there too. Bach make all the candles I needed for sale while using the same supply for my grandparent's. Craft shop for my bee wax. I might have a few older candles to recycle from.

Burning, yes. that how I feel at the moment. Like I am burning. What was burning? What part of me is burning? If I can reach out and put it out, I would. But can I? Well, now that I thought about it, the burning has stopped.

A huge cloud of stream chocked the whole room, as there was a thud of a loud sound landing into the bath tub with me. I coughed and chocked a long time. Picking up the oddity from my tub. I opened a window to draw in the air. I put this... book to the side for now. I wrapped in a towel. The clouds gone, I can't finally see in here. Another strange book, this one has a red encrusted binding and the language used on it was Latin like. Another creepy book. I best hide this one too. Leave it to my mask to swallow it, just as it done for the last ones.

I got dizzy with the change of temperature of the room, and I felt like I am still struggling for air. I sensed some other door the house opened, but I think that it must have been pointless. Closing it again. More windows for now. There a bit of a thunder happening with outside the bathroom, maybe the dogs and cats got through the baby gate. Well, dogs. I sat at the floor beside the sink. I can feel like I was back under the water again, my clay mask splashed into it.

"Pardon the..." Shade, I must have let him in. He leaned right down to me, hand cold as ice over my forehead. He quickly stood again and looked around. Another towel over my shoulders, he looked at the tub too. The ceiling dripping of condensation. He closed the window quickly, "Ok." He lowered back to me, "You still awake?"

"I don't remember letting you in Shade, but glad your here." I muttered. I held my own arms, as those were then next sort of pain I was flinching about. He got me to let go and felt the marks on them, "A book was burning. I took it." He paused at the tracing and he peered at me like I was crazy, "I can't fear something like those books. I fear the conditions they are in." he peers off with me.

"You have to stand up on your own. I can't help you like that." I can understand, his a ghost, "Also, you can't tell anyone that I am Shade." I hold my towels and eventually stand. Wavered as a little in being light headed and not at the first attempt. My mask came out of the tub too, in my arms as I lean at the walls for sense of balance. I guided myself to my bedroom, "Good." He moved the covers over me, "You're ok now."

"But you aren't. I am sorry." I felt hazed in in deep sleep. I recalled that his expression turned from blank to fear.

In my dreams I heard thousands of books being opened and closed. I heard so many languages and voices. I smell different strange things and tasted odd things. I was washed in so many of the sounds. My hands were holding two books now, a red and a grey. The grey one was half torn. So many pages are missing, and one page was ripped out. Yet touching what isn't there, the surface of the page was undamaged. The names on it weren't in harm. the Binding of this book was old yet barely worn at all. Flexing it open was a task. Every surface felt safe and undamaged. Just that single page and it was fixable back into the whole book. I closed it and now I peered to this red one. I don't know this language, but as it was for the other book. I felt every surface and there were ruined on a few place. Some names were scratched off and others were written on top of others. I poured my focus into this one... names untangled and moved. Those scratched off, returned and then erased. The damage wasn't a problem but it is still there, like scars on skin. I held these closed books close and then let go of only the red one. I had pushed it away, with a sudden thud to where it belong to. I held the grey one to me tighter, fearing it leaving me. I was tighter about it as the plague of sounds chants. The book may shudder in my arms, but it's push to me - unwilling to leave.

Waking to staring at my bedroom ceiling, my blurry sight and that headache. I kept my arms crossed me, sitting up and scrunched to the headache. I peer around at my dogs and cats around me. Happy that I was awake. I smell tea, it's downstairs. There a nice outfit hung up, offered as what I was to wear today. I have new marks along my back and arms, burns they looked like. My dogs all love all over me as they see I am awake. They clattered about as I go changed. I would fit in among undertakers in how black this outfit is. Makes the dog hair stand out. I checked my phone in habit, no work today. I work tomorrow morning. No events according to Facebook. No messages from my brother yet about the graves or just anything since we last spoke.

"You shouldn't apologies for something that isn't your fault." I let my dogs through the baby gate into the living room. Shade was sat drinking a tea. He was going through his notes, "I am however stuck on this side for a little while. Unless you have a method of returning me back." A few ways crossed my mind but I let my dogs out first. He backed off from the direct sun light. I noted this and partly closed the curtain, "Thank you."

"I don't really understand why you can't but I am not going to try to understand." I go to the kitchen for my own tea. I returned to leaning at the back door watching my dogs. A cat on my shoulder and the other two running around the place with zoomies. Just as the dogs are outside running about and smelling. I listened to the solemn silence, "I also believe you being here is partly my blame, for sure. I don't want to kick you out since you did help me last night. As little it was, it was plenty for me to focus again." I hold my drink as it is colder them me. The stream rose from it, contradicting my sense of feeling. It seem just a moment, I felt alone in this room. Alone in this empty house. Only for a car face to bump my cheek and that sudden purr as I pet him. The fluffest fur brat I keep. I trade my half empty drink for my fat cat, holding him to enjoy the birds out the back door (above the dog smearing). The loud kak noises from my shoulder and the chubby one in my arms. Brought a smile.

"Where is your three dog?" I peer to Shade and I looked outside. The two youngest are out there. I put my cats down and I go back upstairs.

A cold little puppy, sleeping where I was. She snuggled beside me before leaving. I pet her a few times and streams of tears at my face. I wasn't surprised per say but it is hard to say goodbye. I was distracted to notice that she was gone. The hardest part of being a pet owner is this good bye. I am grateful that she went in peace, sleeping beside me.

I respectfully picked her up and carry her all the way. Her favourite blanket wrapped around her. I may cry the entire time, but I knew that I was the one to have to get the shovel. I put her down at the living room and let the other two pay their respects. As I knew they would feel sad loosing her. I went outside and picked the best place where she be the least disturbed. I had also took a paving stone from the trash heap of next door - to prevent the foxes from doing what they do. The more upset I was, the further I dug down. Large enough for her and deep to protect.

I can't be sad forever, I tell myself. She lived a long dog life, happy with us. She may have been a rescue as a puppy but she moved houses with me as I moved out of the nest. She wasn't actually a puppy, regardless of how she acted like one. I can't regret having her, some of our best holidays was taking her with us. She was why I continued having cats and dogs. In her legacy, she leaves two dog sisters who love their cats. I can only say my last goodbye to her as she was, and cherish what she gave me.