Blurring

Many draws lay around her bed, she had been mindlessly idle or at work sketching something else. Odd adventures of her past two human lives interacting with strangers that didn't belong. They came to her and she so happens to have the right things say to them. Even working at that horrible umbrella company, she would be working a shelf and mindlessly replying to unknown voices. Her more abstract art dreams were the smaller mini lives she spent her undertaker training with Curiosity with. How she adopted to the worlds she visited while Curiosity never changed. The sort of experience of feeling fire like ice and burnt by snowing ashes. Sky that had black holes as stars and vivid red blood smoke raising from the broken land in a unknown horizon. Places like that she loved for the beauty and pained in understanding why those places were full of pain and sorrow.

The hospital around her was blurry motions. Comfortably numb to the riding waves life tried to present itself. She took on quiet a listlessness that nicknames her the doll of the ward. Her hair had strains of white and brown. She more pale the longer she stays. Still... the attempted to move anything the waist down was met in failures. She slowly lost interest of the drama her sibilings or even whatever the investigation happening. Drawing things they tend to ask about, the real James needed for whatever plan he had going on. He hopes to be her new guardian or something. He said he will look after Curiosity when she swaps places. James already knows at somepoint will she soul swap with him. She also knows now, that James has somewhat to do with the cosmic event that happened. That chain. Its here on him as it is on her. Sinner chains are meant to be metaphorical to the living. But these are real to the soul and importantly the dead. The sin that chain is made from tends to determine weight, density and inactive qualities. Some chains are required for spell casting on this side of many universes.

She sees now that magic is pulled from broken worlds and reformed into the will the caster imagined them. So if she was to cast magic like Curiosity, she taking from this world or a world nearby this body. She must consider the damage she making in someone else's tome.

Her health is dropping by the days passing. Fireworks outside. The tv blaring music. Christmas passed at a eye blink. To be fair... she didn't get anything from her mom or her father. She hasn't seen them both, maybe James was doing that. She's not mad. This third time of human life had been a mess. She can already see herself wishing for any other shape then human in the next one. She shouldn't be so cynical. But still that pain, it is this chain. Its this burden weighing her shoulders. She can let it go or use it to be stronger. She can even use it to create a new tome. She doesn't have the inspiration for that.

"Good evening." He does look like the miserable 10 year old in the meeting of old cranky men in business suits. Yeah, that was on purpose even. She can see how having an identical being to swap with at times helps such pain of breaking soul parts. The freak at the other side isn't strong enough to scattered and disconnect.

She knows the system. A soul gains material as it recycling through life and death. A soul travels many worlds and realms, taste the high and lows. When it becomes to much by its own weigh. They are turned into cursed objects or tools, god artifacts sometimes. The real of clothus world are full of such objects living out the last times. These objects feed the styxs... a last travel to the flame of creation. Melted to be made a new. The flame of creation is what a universe govern rules enact. Shaping the sort of DNA into reality of realms. She seen this. She as a living being had the privilege of watching as a undertaker. She doesn't forget because it puts meaning into everything. Even trivial detail meant something to a soul. A universe doesn't shape things we don't want but what we strive to crave and need. Even fear and horror as beauty. Even the worms that crush souls to dust, erasing the excessive energy into spraying seeds of dreams. Worm dust is literally what the world of dreams is made of, well part of it. The collective subconscious of living creatures has part in creating the dream worlds too.

What terrible thing made a universe... three universes that taught us magic. What did they discover to fade away like they did? Wasn't even a fade. More like a big bang part 4. The only soul to know. Sitting here again. Scowling like his world is falling apart. He makes the same empty hurt look as the elder does.

"You really are brothers at the soul." She makes that relax sigh in sitting back. She has the bed changed for her to sit right. Her legs like lead, weight. She must be holding to much.

"Ugh... Right. You can travel to the other universe in your sleep." She straighten up all the papers. That finished peice of being a homage to omens. She even signed the bottom corner with her true name. A sort of love letter to the god that has protected her partner in crime. She wished she knew Curiosity better too. He has always been man of secrets. He been documenting the unknown longer he knew her. He seeks something out there out of reach. She wished she can still help him find that. Something about birds. His love of omens is due to the bird shape. For sure.

"What can I do for you this time, Mr? I getting worse before I get better. You know I will be gone soon. Just what murder mystery do you think your in? At the end of the thing's, will it even matter. The pain of regerts." She picked up a that chain, "Isn't this punishment enough? We all do this. So can't this be enough." Maybe she too has guilt for her skeletons too. Nothing is perfect until we accept it will never be. Then it becomes perfect enough. The hands of those we loved brushing our shoulders even after they are gone. She let's it drop, it was so slow at falling. Like a feather in a wind.

"Its the strong like us that slows a system down. Chuncks that glitch or a thread that fails in a perfect tapestries."

"And that's where you fall." She smirks, "We did not make ourselves to be perfect for a grand picture that we can't see. We work with what there is and what we are given. Take all you want, but we adapt or raise high. We will even dive the deep to fling greater heights. Sometimes to rise we have to fall. I see it now." She wears something that makes James flinch. He had not seen someone wear that expression in a long time. Everyone just sort of suffers. She isn't. No matter the medicine. The attempted poisonings. No. Here she had the resolve to shoulder the problems. She really is small hero part of some in there.

"Some threads aren't meant to tie." He reworded someone's saying or that someone told him that. She nods at this.

"I look for forward to what is next. Tragic as it may that we come close together to pull apart." She shurgs a little, "Maybe I will learn what I wanted if I keep going."

"Your not able to walk. Where do you think your going?" James frowns.

"A soul doesn't have legs, James. Maybe it's why I reject them." She is being serious, "Don't be sad. Curiosity or you call him Matthew. He will take my place. This body will not be empty without knowing love or go without seeing the world. I will wear the feathers while he rolls in the wheel chair. Maybe even run a mile. His so strange." She pats in shuffling the important messages and art. I am ready."

James does not what to hear this sort of thing from her. Preoccupied even.

"Don't be afraid of them." She laughed lightly, "Be glad they are just humans. Only humans are that cursed with such chains or wear darkness like a cloak. They don't know what it really means to have it as skin and walk the light of many worlds. They not seen the suffering worse then hell. Each time I had travelled I was faced with things that no demon can conjure. They don't have to wear the dead things to hide in plain sight. Truly James. The world of humanity is a world with many reflections. But it's nothing but meer smoke to the flame of what the unknown has in spades." She posed her right hand up, "If anything, it's because of humans that the universes are able to retain shape at all. Even human life is simply the seed or stem to what they grow to be when they leave." She began to close her hand and all of her when limp.

Like a wind that blows a candle out. She can treasure this world another time. Putting a cap over and adding it to the cabinet.

The hospital became busy at trying to shock a heart back. To bring back a critical conditioned patient from loosing grasp. Taking her body into another seizure and dimming. Pain. Maybe she is wrong about being alone. There were horrified expressed mask looking on hopeless. Realising how fragile and easy it is to give up and give in to the ghosts of family dignity and reputation. To fight a loosing battle against them and weren't able to find peace. The souls of unfinished tomes. Left to James to fox without tools or enough help. How selfish of Daniel.