advice that will never be heard

"Back then, when I was little. I didn't get any meaningful love from my parents. I was only seen as a child who had to provide benefits for them. I had to be great, I had to be strong, I had to be reliable, I had to get out and about. from any bad situation. All these burdens make me a person who can never be confident. I don't have love, I just live to be reliable in any situation.

I don't really enjoy the journey of my life, I live like I'm shackled in a room that I can never open. I feel trapped, I feel I have wings but can't fly. There is no happiness that I feel, there is no pleasant life that I can do. I keep on living but like dead. I used to ask myself, what is love? What is happiness? Why would everyone want to feel things like that? Why is everyone vying for love and happiness? I'm too blind to both of those things.