"I was in love with you."

AJAX.

Beautiful.

She looked so fucking beautiful.

The way her dress swayed slowly at every movement she made had my heart doing pull-ups. The innocence. It was the innocence that made my traitor feet move towards her and pick her as my first dance.

She’d refused to look me in the eyes—unlike with the other guy who she’d been all smiles with. For eight years, I hadn’t seen her smile like that. I hadn’t seen that loving look in her eyes—yet here she was, whoring herself out in my Castle.

On my dance floor.

She’d asked me why I picked her as my first dance, and I’d told her I was simply grabbing some attention for her.

A beautiful lie.

Immediately the words flew out of my mouth, I regretted it. She froze for a few seconds, and her grip on me had gotten a bit tighter, then it laxed.

Was it wrong that I wanted her to hold me like she used to?

The first song ended, and she curtsied like a fool, walking, almost running out of the ballroom. I didn’t miss the hungry eyes that men gave her as she walked past, and my appetite for dancing immediately faded away. Unfortunately, I had to continue dancing—it was tradition. The women in the ball understood that it was time for me to dance with each one of them, and the torture began.

The next woman I danced with, Eleanor—she mentioned her name—was a rather awful dancer. Her movement was too slow, and her grip on me was way too relaxed. When I tried to dip her, she clumsily grabbed at my suit, afraid she would fall.

The next was even worse—Amanda, she went by—chatted my ear off about her many ideas on making the Kingdom better. The problem there was, she had the IQ of a hollow pencil. She insisted that more money should be given to the upper class, to improve their way of life, and that the poor should be made to work harder.

I could go on to tell you about how each and every woman made my evening even worse, but that would only make this story uninteresting. I found myself looking at the ballroom door every now and then—and by every now and then, I mean

I was openly staring at the door, waiting for someone. Who? I cannot tell you, because I didn’t know myself. Time seemed to slow, even after the dancing ended, and I was surrounded by dukes and earls and their sons, discussing the wide variety of women that were available to them.

When Elianna finally appeared snuck through the doors, my search suddenly stopped, I noticed the tiny, almost non-existent black streaks that trailed from her eyes.

Like she could feel my stare, she lifted her eyes for a brief second. When they locked with mine, all the walls I’d spent years building up broke down. Every single one.

Her eyes were red,

She’d been crying.

“Elianna—” I moved towards her, grabbing everyone’s attention. And even though I knew we had an audience—that tried to pretend they weren’t listening—especially from all the flashing lights, I couldn’t care less.

She stared at me with parted lips, and her chest rose a bit then fell. “I’m not feeling too well.” She fibbed, by the way she was clenching her fists, I could tell. “I’ll retire for the night.”

“Okay.” I said, not taking my eyes away from her. After she walked up to my floor and out of my sight, the whispers began again. The dancing continued, but I was bored out of my skull, I felt alone. Truly all alone. I discussed politics with a few men who had the audacity to approach me, but I humoured them for having the courage.

The women simply danced with whoever approached them, giggling the night away. Something felt… wrong. There was a heated gaze on my back, but when I turned around, all I saw was a blur of people dancing. It wasn’t fun anymore, so I sulked by myself in a corner.

Clearing my throat, I decided to make the final announcements. The music stopped, and all eyes were on me as I stepped up the stairs. “Thank you all for attending this event and making it a truly glorious one. You may take your leaves now.”

In other words, get the hell out of my Castle or you’re dead.

I could see everyone gulp, and with a pleased frown, made my way upstairs in a slight rush. I was really worn out and eager to get back to bed, but it was definitely not because Elianna was upstairs. No, that would be absurd.

So why was I knocking at her door with shaking hands?

“Elianna.” I knew she could hear me, from the tiny sniffles that emitted from the room, she was awake. The bed creaked, and small footsteps made their way to the door as it opened. I looked back on instinct, to make sure there was no one that would cause Elianna to look scandalous, then entered the room with my hands in my pockets. She locked the door behind her, then turned to face me.

“Such a pleasure to have you in my living quarters, Your Highness.” She curtsied. When her leg slid back, I finally realized that she was in her pyjamas--a top and shorts.

Really short, shorts.

My eyes wandered all over her body, but when I noticed her squirm, I cleared my throat and looked into her eyes. She avoided my gaze, looking at the side of my head,

“Why did you leave the ball?” I asked her. “I didn’t even get to introduce you to everyone.”

Her expression was so passive, it was like she was dead… but living at the same time. Her eyes were empty and pale, and her skin almost matched the colour.

“I apologise for my insolence, Your Majesty.” Elianna quietly said, with another curtsy. She still didn’t meet my eyes.

I took a step towards her, and instead of taking one back, she stayed rooted to her spot. No clenching fists, not quick breathing. She was simply still. “Why are you acting like this?” I inquired, raising an eyebrow.

“Is His Grace not happy with my behaviour? Whatever can I do to appease him?” She asked, her face still straight and emotionless.

“Elianna, come on. You never called me by my honorary titles. What’s wrong?” I asked her, moving closer.

“It is my utter delight to be in the prince’s presence, however, I admit that I must retire for the night.”

I didn’t like being completely helpless around her. It always felt like I was running mad, the frustration made me rack my hands through my hair. Why was she behaving like this? What had I done wrong?

I grabbed her shoulders and held her face in my hands. “Tell me what happened.”

Her lips quivered, and tears welled up in her eyes. I felt her jaw clench—she was trying to keep the tears at bay. Her body started to shake, and her lips parted to take in a deep breath.

Slowly, she cracked.

Her throat let out choking like sounds, and my hands quickly got wet as the hot tears streamed down her face. Her knees buckled and she slid down the door, cradling her knees.

“Eli…” I trailed off. It physically hurt me to see her like this, and my hands shook. What had happened to her? “Eli, tell me what’s wrong.”

It felt like I was nineteen again, and she was sixteen, crying over some asshole that broke her heart. Only, then, there wasn’t so much distance between us. Tentatively, I opened my arms and crouched down to wrap her in me, but she went limp.

“I’m so tired of all this shit.” She finally said, “I’m tired of you, and I want to go back home.”

“What did I do, Eli? Tell me, please.”

You know what she did? She laughed. It was rich, straight from her belly, and wicked. Tears fell faster and she cried, and it hurt me to see her in such a state. All the hatred I’d harbored for her fell apart like the scales of a snake, and all I wanted to do was hold her.

“Eight years, Ajax. For eight years, I was in love with you.”